01x12 - Curses! Oiled Again!

[bunniefuu]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

BATMAN: Greetings, Batfans.

This is Batman.

And Robin the Boy Wonder.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The
New Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our never-ending
battle of good vs. evil.

ROBIN: Ride with us,

as we chase the greatest
array of villains

the world has ever seen.

Proving that crime
does not pay.

BATMAN: Get set for
thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me, Robin the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: In the super
New Adventures of...

BATMAN: Batman.

[♪♪♪]

[SIRENS WAILING]

ANNOUNCER: And now
with the Nightly News,

here is Gotham City's
number one anchorman...

Boyd Baxter.

Good evening.

The top story tonight

is the worsening oil shortage

being felt across the nation,

and here in our very
own Gotham City.

As the thermometer
continues to drop,

energy officials assure us

that a trainload, of
much needed heating oil,

is headed our way and--

And it will never arrive.

[MEOWS]

All right, Clayface...

let's get to work.

We have a lot of oil to collect.

[MEOWS]

Clayface, it's
working purr-fectly.

Couldn't be better.

And this is only the beginning.

Yes.

Soon every drop of oil--

[MEOWS]

--in the country will be ours.

We'll sell the stuff for a
hundred dollars an ounce.

We'll be so rich.

We'll never have to
lift a finger again.

Except to count our money.

[LAUGHING MEOW]

[CLAYFACE CACKLES]

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[TIRES SCREECH]

BRUCE: Eat your heart
out, Dickie-boy.

There's no way that jalopy

of yours can beat mine.

Don't count your
chickens yet, Bruce.

Hi, Caped Cru--

Bat-Mite, look out.

Yipes!

[♪♪♪]

ROBIN: I can't stop it.

Looks like Bat-Mite won by
the seat of his pants, d*ck.

[d*ck CHUCKLES]

[BEEPING]

Bruce, the Bat-Signal.

Let's go.

Nobody loves a winner.

Hey, wait for me, guys.

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Hi, guys. What's the caper?

That's what we're going
to find out, Bat-Mite.

Oh, boy, I hope it's a good one.

I'm really in the mood

for some "rock 'em,
sock 'em" action.

I assure you, Mr. Baxter,
that the police department

will be working around the clock
to stop these oil hijackings.

BAXTER: My viewers are
demanding action, commissioner.

Now what are you going
to do about this?

I've called Batman and
Robin into the case.

I'll keep you
posted, Mr. Baxter.

This oil-disappearing act
is driving me nuts, Barbara.

I know someone who can
unravel this mystery, Dad.

Of course, Batman and Robin.

They're on their way.

Actually, I was
thinking of Batgirl.

[LAUGHS]

No, this is far too big for her.

Oh, come on, Dad.

Batgirl can do
anything Batman can.

You know, dear, the way
you stick up for Batgirl,

you'd think she was
your twin sister.

[DOOR OPENS]

BATMAN: What's
up, commissioner?

A trainload of crude oil,
headed for Gotham City,

has disappeared, Batman.

Disappeared?

You mean stolen.

Yes. Vanished into thin
air without a trace.

Well, you wanna
know what I think--

This could be a big
problem, with this cold snap

getting worse by the
minute, commissioner.

I think--

You're telling me.

And that TV newscaster,
Boyd Baxter,

hasn't let me forget
it for a second.

Know what I think--?

Sounds to me like
they're going

to rip-off a lot more oil
before they're through,

and then make a ransom demand.

Well, I think--

Barbara's right, commissioner.

How many oil storage
depots are there in town?

There are two, Robin.

The biggest one is down
near the waterfront

and the other is
on the south side.

Robin, you head
for the south side.

I'll cover the waterfront.

I've got some things to
take care of too, Dad.

BARBARA: As Batgirl.

Well, if you wanna
know what I think--

Hey, wait for me,
Caped Crusaders.

[♪♪♪]

[DOGS BARKING]

Holy barking bow-wows.

Dogs or no dogs, I have to
check that tank out fast.

The wire walk.

Leaping lumbago.

There must be an easier
way to make a living.

Well, here goes nothing.

[BARKING]

Feet, don't fail me now.

[BARKING]

[BARKING]

Holy no deposit, no return.

It's empty.

I'd better get Batman fast.

[♪♪♪]

So here you are, Boy Wonder.

I've been looking
high and low for--

Get outta the way, Bat-Mite.

Yipes!

Robin.

The Bat-tr*mp
should do the trick.

W-wow.

It's Batgirl.

Batgirl.

How did you know
where to find me?

There's no time to
tell you now, Robin.

[SIGHS]

Batman may need our help
down at the waterfront.

That's right.

Come on.

Well, if you wanna
know what I think--

Hey, wait for me, guys.

Okay, okay.

Nobody's perfect.

[♪♪♪]

There's the oil storage tank.

And there's Catwoman
and Clayface.

All right, you two...

Cardboard.

So they are, Bat-bungler,

but I'm for real.

[GRUNTS]

Careful, Clayface.

Not too tight.

I want Batman to see

how cleverly we drain
Gotham City dry.

[MEOWS, GIGGLES]

[CACKLES]

Now, you're coming
with us, Batman.

Thanks anyway, Catwoman...

but this is where I...

get off.

Hey, you.

Batman, are you okay?

Yes, but I'll feel a lot better

when we've nabbed
Catwoman and Clayface.

They're up there.

Not any more. Look.

ROBIN: Holy
endangered species.

Clayface turned
himself into an eagle.

So long, Batman.

We'll be seeing you again.

Let's go.

Oh, boy.

Those sappy villains
don't stand a...

chance!

Wow. I've never
seen wheels move

as fast as
Catwoman's kitty-car.

Hold on to your socks, Robin.

You haven't seen anything yet.

If there's anything
I can't stand--

[MEOWS]

--it's tailgating.

Especially when it's my tail.

[MEOWS]

Holy litterbugs, Batman.

Look out.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Uh-oh, I'd better
take an off-ramp fast.

BAT-MITE: I don't feel good.

Oh-oh-oh, oh, boy.

[BAT-MITE WHIMPERS]

Congratulations, Catwoman.

You sure gave those
crime-fighting creeps the slip.

[MEOWS]

Batgirl to Dynamic Duo.

You're not going to like this.

BATGIRL: Catwoman
and Clayface got away.

Terrific.

Holy bad news.

Here's something else I
don't think we're gonna like.

ROBIN: Boyd Baxter's newscast.

Well, yet another
daring robbery

has drained Gotham
City's fuel tanks

and left our shivering city
without a drop of oil.

[CHUCKLES]

And while the guilty
culprits roam our streets,

where is that so-called
crime fighter, Batman?

What's the matter, Batman?

Or should I say, ha-ha-ha,

Chicken Man.

Holy loudmouth.

If he thinks it's so easy, why
doesn't he try catching 'em?

Since we've heard nothing from
the great Batman on this case,

I've decided to
solve it myself.

Hey, I was only kidding.

Your action reporter,
Boyd Baxter,

will get results.

You stay tuned for
further details.

As Bat-Mite would say,

"Ohhh, boy,

I think we've got
big troubles."

[♪♪♪]

[BEEPING]

Yes, commissioner?

COMMISSIONER: Batman,
I need your help.

There's a giant
supertanker full of oil

due to arrive at the
Gotham City docks tonight.

This shipment has
been kept secret

because of the oil hijackings.

We aren't taking any
chances this time.

I want you two to escort
the tanker into the harbor

and keep an eye on things.

BATMAN: Don't worry,
commissioner, we'll be there.

And so will we, Batman.

So will we.

[MEOWS]

Systems check, Robin?

All systems optimum.

Hey, Dynamic Duo,

wait for dynamic me.

If you guys don't watch out,

I'm gonna start hanging
out with Batgirl full-time.

Starting right now.

There's nothing we can do now

but sit tight and wait.

Sorry to run out on you, Dad,

but I have some work
to take care of.

And I can only do it as Batgirl.

[SMOOCH]

Hi, Batgirl. What's up?

I'm going to try and find out
where Clayface and Catwoman

are hiding all the
oil they steal.

That's no problem.

With my super-sniffer--

[SNIFFS]

--I can find it in a second.

No, no. That's all
right, Bat-Mite, I--

[SNIFFING]

Bat-Mite, really, I can--

Just follow my nose, Batgirl,

and I guarantee
we'll find oil.

Well, all right,
Bat-Mite, just this once.

[♪♪♪]

[SNIFFING]

Where's this oil you've been
talking about, Bat-Mite?

We've been driving for hours.

You're telling me.

I'm starting to cramp up.

Hold it.

I think we're getting close.

That way, Batgirl.

BATGIRL: You've
got to be kidding.

There's oil up there.
I can smell it.

[SIGHS] Oh, all right.

Here goes nothing.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, my gosh.

Hoo-hoo, oh, boy! Oh, boy!

I thought it might need
a little more...red.

ROBIN: With these
energy shields, captain,

we're ready for anything

Clayface and Catwoman
can throw at us.

BATMAN: Yes, but are
we ready for this?

Holy boob tube.

It can't be.

I'm afraid so, Robin.

BATMAN: Boyd Baxter
in the flesh.

Oh, boy, that's all we need.

Oh, boy?

Well, I think it's a
catchy little phrase.

BAXTER: Ah, good
evening, Dynamic Duo.

How did you know about
this tanker, Baxter?

Well, a good investigative
reporter has his sources.

And what I said earlier
still goes, Batman.

I'm going to break
this case wide-open

and expose the both of
you, for what you are...

frauds.

BAT-MITE: Still
mad at me, Batgirl?

Well, there was oil there.

Oil paint, Bat-Mite.

Not oil.

Nobody's perfect.

I smell oil, Batgirl.

A lot of oil.

That way.

Forget it, Bat-Mite.

No more wild oil chases.

BAT-MITE: There, in
that condemned building.

BATGIRL: You were
right, Bat-Mite.

There is oil in that building.

A whole trainload of it.

Don't I deserve some
kind of reward, Batgirl?

Oh, sure.

Thanks, Bat-Mite.

Oh, boy, what a bummer.

Stand by, Catwoman.

Okay, we're in position.

Excellent, Clayface.

[MEOWS]

Those caped creeps above

will never know what happened.

Say, uh, captain,

aren't you nervous
about being in charge

of this valuable cargo?

Not with Batman and Robin
onboard, Mr. Baxter.

I wouldn't be too sure.

They haven't done
anything right yet.

But don't worry. If anything
happens I'll be here,

and I'll be on top of it.

Holy helium.

If we could bottle
all that hot air,

Gotham City's energy
problem would be licked.

Never mind, Robin.

I'm getting a funny feeling
about this whole setup.

Come on.

I was afraid of this.

Quick, Robin, check
the cargo hold.

ROBIN: Holy heists.

The oil's gone.

Mission accomplished, Clayface.

[MEOWS]

Then let's go home so
we can count our money.

There go Batman and Robin.

Quick, into the chopper.

I have them on sonar, Batman.

BATMAN: Nice work.

Prepare to fire magnetic
underwater grapple.

ROBIN: Ready. Fire.

They snagged us, Catwoman.

I need some help here.

Sorry, Clayface--

[MEOWS]

--but now it's every
woman for herself.

CLAYFACE: No. Wait.

BAXTER: Catwoman's plane.

What a great scoop.

All right, let's nab her.

BATMAN [OVER RADIO]: Keep your
eyes peeled for the Cat-plane.

It's headed your way.

Roger, Batman.

It should be approaching the
waterfront any second now.

Batgirl, look.

There she is now.

BAXTER: Come on, can't
this heap go any faster?

Catwoman's getting away.

Sorry, Mr. Baxter,
it's wide-open now.

B-b-b-be c-careful,
B-B-B-Batgirl.

All right, Dynamic Duo.

Get ready for one
whale of a surprise.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Holy harpoons.

ROBIN: Here comes Clayface.

Here he comes again.

ROBIN: Bull's-eye.

You got him.

Sorry, Clayface,

end of the line.

As one woman to another--

[MEOWS]

--I admire your
courage, Batgirl.

But I think it's
time I showed you

how catty I can really be.

Holy air sickness.

Batgirl's in big trouble.

Enjoying the ride, Batgirl?

[LAUGHING MEOW]

Okay, Catwoman. Cut it out.

Reow! Don't touch that switch.

Huh?

Hey, don't go running off.

I can't fly this thing.

BAT-MITE: Oh, oh,
my, oh, gosh, gosh.

Oh, boy, I blew it again.

They ought to call me Bat-Klutz.

No, Bat-Mite, you
were very brave.

Batgirl.

Batgirl, you're terrific.

And so are you, Bat-Mite.

[SMOOCH]

BAT-MITE: There's just one
problem: Catwoman escaped.

No, she didn't.

She's hung up in
that tree down there.

BAXTER: All right, roll the
cameras, roll the cameras.

How about a big smile, Catwoman?

That's good.

Oh.

[MEOWS]

What a complete cat-tastrophe.

[MEOWS]

BAXTER: This is Boyd Baxter,
here in front of WGC-TV,

where I am talking to
Batman, Robin and Batgirl.

Don't forget Bat-Mite.

Oh, yes, and uh, this
little guy here, Bat-Mite.

Well, guys, you finally managed
to capture the oil thieves,

and it's about time.

However, the whereabouts of
an entire boatload of oil--

[SNIFFING]

--is still missing.

And I assure you...

that this investigative
reporter--

[SNIFFING]

--will waste no time

in finding it.

Holy drips.

Now that's what I
call fast reporting.

[ALL LAUGHING]

BATCOMPUTER: Bat message.

Clayface and Catwoman
made quite a team, Batman.

But a team that didn't
know the score, Robin.

Crime never pays.

Well, how do I look, guys?

BOTH: Is that really
you, Bat-Mite?

In the flesh.

I've got a heavy
date with Batgirl.

She's gonna wonder where
I've been all her life.

And wherever you've been,
she'll probably be thankful.

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]