02x10 - Bring on the Bad Guys: Part 3

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

When I woke up this morning,
this was so not how I saw my day
turning out.

[straining]
[passengers exclaiming]

Should've been
a quiet afternoon.

Meet with Gwen to pick up
the battery for my Horizon
Open House project.

Maybe grab some hot cocoa.

But instead, here I am.

I'm used to things going wrong,
especially lately.
[laughing]

Every costumed whacko
in the tristate area
seems to be after me.

[laughing]
[straining]
But this guy?

Couldn't he have
at least waited
until October 31st?

[laughing]
Obliterating you is such
a thrill, Spider-Clown.

This is so boo-tiful.
[laughs]

More like boo
to that wordplay.

[maniacal laughter]

[stick blow lands]
Let me tell you,

whoever this jack-o'-lantern
guy is,
[blows landing]

he's definitely more trick
than treat.

[laughs]
Hey-h*!

Who wants to gather round
the ol' campfire

for roasted marshmallows
and spooky stories?

Ugh! Who is is this creep?

And where'd he get
all these dangerous toys?

Hope you like it hot,
little spider.

Pop, sizzle-fizzle!

Bat's all, folks!

The cemetery is about to get
a new tenant.

I used to think
Halloween was fun,
but you're out of your gourd.

[creaking]
[passengers whimpering]

[crackling]

If I can use the weight
of the bus in my favor,

I might be able
to pull this off.

Gravity, don't fail me now!

[laughs]
I deliver the Spider,

I get the biggest
candy bag of all!

Aah!

[passengers yell]
[grunts]

[grunts]
[both yell]

Everyone, hang on!
Like we got a choice.

[laughing]

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Dangling spider...
with a bag full of goodies
to go splat.

Should've designed
a Creep-O-Meter
for the open house.

[grunting]

This guy would measure
off the charts.
[grunting]

Last stop, Brooklyn Bridge.

Transfers to pedestrian walkways
are that-a-way.

Thank you for flying
the Spidey skies.

That isn't your
regular costume, is it?

Because I think it's making
everyone uncomfortable.

Look, I'm not happy
about it, either,

but normally I don't
fight villains who attack me

with industrial-strength
itching powder bombs.

[laughing]

Jack is back to get
the Wicked Web of the West!

[grunting]

That doesn't
even make sense!

Gotta lead him away
from these innocent bystanders.

Come on, pumpkin head!
Let's see if you can
keep up with me.

[maniacal laughter]

Chills and thrills!
[laughs]
Ghosties and ghouls!

This guy likes Halloween
way too much.

That's a dangerous prop,
pumpkin-man!

I told you,
the name's Jack O'Lantern,

King of Halloween!

[grunts]
But you didn't tell me

who put out the order
to take me down!

I'll never reveal
the skeletons in my closet
on this special day.

Today's not Halloween!

Every day is Halloween!

[singsongy voice]
Trick or treat?

Yeah, not the time
for games.

Don't you even
know the rules?

[singsongy voice]
Trick or treat?

Uh, okay. Treat?

You got it!
[laughs, grunts]

Not more of those things!
[grunts]

[grunts]

I knew caramel apples
were bad for your teeth,

but, man, this hurts!
[yells, grunts]

Bet ya can't catch me!

Being taunted by a guy
with a pumpkin head.

Could this day
get any weirder?

Yes, this day
could get weirder.

Gotta have a serious talk
with this guy.

These fake webs
are just embarrassing.

And this must be where he makes
all those expl*sive
caramel apples.

Ten out of ten dentists
would agree
they are bad for your life.

What is a dentist?
[laughs]

Never heard
of such a thing.
[laughs]

Oh, when I defeat

and deliver you, spider,

they'll give me a big,
[laughs]
big prize!

Just think of how much
more spook-tastic
I can make this place

with all that sweet money.
[laughs]

Are you incapable
of a clear answer?

Who asked you
to deliver me?

[singsongy voice]
I've got another treat.

Another treat?
All you give out is tricks!

Oh, no.
[laughs]

This is a treat for me!
[laughs]

Aah!

[crying out]
Wait.

Candy corn?

[maniacal laughter]

[grunting]
Ow! Stop!

[groans]
Candy corn really is

the worst candy ever!
[grunts]

Oops.

Now I'm helping him
produce those expl*sive apples.

Hey! I'm in charge
of Halloween here!

[grunts]

Seek and hide?
My, my!

Enough is enough!

Who hired you,
Jack O' Lantern?

Ghosts have real spirit!

[laughs]

Ugh! Is he even hearing me?

Who put a bounty out for me?!

That's witch-ful thinking.

How much
are you being paid?

I only spook when spooken to!
[laughs]

Oh, this guy's crazy
even by super-villain standards.

Maybe I need to play along.

[grunts]

Okay, Jack O'Lantern.
Your turn.

Trick or treat?

[laughs]
No one's ever asked me
that question.

Delightful. I, uh...

[breathing heavily]
Treat!

[grunts]

[grunts]

[yelling]

[Spider-Man]
Congratulations. Now you're
a delicious treat, Jackie.

[muffled yelling]

[muffled laughing]

[muffled yelling]
What's that?

You realize it's not
actually Halloween?

[muffled]
Nooooo!

I agree.
We should only ever

act like this once a year.
[muffled yell]

Well, since it doesn't look like
I'll be getting any answers
from you,

I'll just be calling the police
to shut down your little
fun factory here,

and then I'm going home
to find my backup costume.

Spider-Man costume, that is,
not Halloween costume.

Because a Halloween costume
this time of year
would just be weird.

[muffled grunting]
[yawns]

Running late. Again.
[gasps]

And I've flaked
on Gwen already today.
[gasps]

Not that this morning
was entirely my fault.

That pumpkin-headed maniac
wasn't exactly something
I had scheduled.

[grunts]
Whoa!

Ow!
[groans]

Man, every muscle
in my body aches.

Must have hurt myself
fighting Jack O'Lantern.

Or it could've been
Overdrive, or Mysterio,

or the Spot,
or that giant hippo

creatively named "Hippo."

[groans]
I'm really losing count
of the bumps, bruises,

and costumed bad guys.

[grunting]

Focus, Peter.
You've got ten hours

to finish your project
for the open house,

and you need that
integrated battery
for the project,

and you need to get
said battery from Gwen.

Before she loses patience
and never speaks to you again.

Huh. Being followed.

Whoever you are,
I know you're out there.

Let me guess.
Another bad guy
I've never heard of.

[grunts]
We might as well
get this over with.

Just testing to see
if this sixth sense
you're supposed to have is real.

[high-pitched ringing]
Aah!

[groaning]

Yah!

Who are you?

Just a guy with a job to do.

[grunting]

Amateur gadget party?

Am I supposed
to be impressed?
[grunts]

[grunts]

[coughing]

A smoke screen? Really?

Okay, in terms of senses,
you've covered sight, sound--

And touch!
[grunts]

[grunting]

Please don't let there be smell.

You know, it would be bad
for my superhero cred
to lose to Fog-man.

And this is coming from a guy
who almost got beat
by a panda-person.

The underworld
knows me as Prowler.

Oh, good.
A villain who answers questions.

Who sent you? I haven't gotten
a straight answer from anyone.

Here's a straight answer.

This is nothing personal,
just business.
[grunting]

[yells]

Let me tell you,
this is starting to feel
really personal.

[grunting]

[grunts]
Why won't these villains
just let me finish my homework?

[grunting]

[yelling]
[grunts]

[grunts, groans]

[grunts]

[zapping]
No!

What's wrong with this thing?
[beeping]

Problem with your gear?

That's not very
super-villain of you.

[beeps]
Finally.

[both grunt]

[grunts]

[electricity arcing]
Cute trick.

Can you blame a guy?
I thought I'd be lonely in here.

You only made
this easier for me.
Huh?

Don't get mad,
but if you're gonna do

this bad-guy thing
professionally,

you've gotta take
better care of your gear.
[beeping]

I'm just the muscle.
I can't fix this without my--

Without what?
My brother.

He makes this gear.
I'm no scientist.

Well, here's some science.

Water plus electricity
equals bad news!

Gotta insulate ourselves!

Hold on!

[grunting]
[electricity arcing]

What are you doing?
Trying to keep us alive!

[beeping]
Tell me you have a way
to shut this thing down!

[straining]

Aahh!
[yells]

[Prowler grunts]
[Spider-Man groans]

Just... needed
a stupid battery pack.

Why did you
do that?

Save me?

Uh, is this
a trick question?

I attacked you.
Why would you save an enemy?

Uh, it's kind of implied
in the "hero" part, you know,

after the word "super."

I can't take in someone
who just saved my life.

Even a guy like me
lives by a code.

So you have a moral code.

Well, most villains don't.

Maybe you're not as bad
as you think you are.

Say, and now that we're not
beating each other up,

any chance you can tell me
who put out a bounty

for all these crazy villains
to take me down?

I don't know.

He was hidden in shadow.
Disguised his voice.

Shadowy spider-hater, huh?

Let's see.
Osborn is gone,

Doc Ock is in a coma,
I defeated Jackal...

Well, I hope they offered
a lot of money, or I'm gonna
take that personally too.

The paycheck
would've been good.

But now I gotta find another way
to solve my problems.

See ya around.

Wait! You ever try
to get a real job?

Like a non-villain
who doesn't try
to cage superheroes?

I got problems bigger
than you'd understand.

I once had to cure
this entire city
of being spider-monsters.

I know problems.
Try me.

[sighs]
It's my brother.

The one who designs
all my tech.

I botched a job,
and now he's being held
by someone... dangerous.

If I don't pay up by tonight,
my brother's history.

So, time for plan B.

[coughing]
Ugh!

Fog-man sure knows how
to make an exit.

[phone humming]

Ugh! Gwen!

"Pete, you're late,
and I can't wait around.

Sorry. Heading back."

Well, it looks like
I missed my deadline.

That doesn't mean Prowler
should miss his.

Miss me?

What are you doing here?

Just hanging around.

Also, you seem like
the kind of guy that
doesn't like to ask for help.

So I thought I'd volunteer.
Let me guess.

Your plan B means
trying to sneak in
and free your brother.

This is my problem.

The guy holding him
isn't someone you want
to mess with, Spider-Man.

Are you trying
to give me advice?

'Cause, trust me,
I'm terrible at taking advice.

So who exactly
is this guy

you don't think
I should meet?

A Mob boss
named Silvermane.

He's as powerful
as he is crazy.

I knew I shouldn't have
worked for Silvermane

but took the gig anyway.

It came down to either
me taking out a guard

or leaving
without the loot.

So you left without it,

and now Silvermane
figures you owe him.

Something like that.
This way.

Hobie!
What are you doing here?

You're gonna get yourself--
You brought Spider-Man?!

[snickers]
"Hobie"?

[sighs]

I prefer "Prowler."

We gotta get outta here
before it's--

[Silvermane]
Too late, ya punks!

[Spider-Man]
th*gs with tommy g*ns?

Holding someone's brother
for ransom?

Old-school gangster accents?

Way to pull out the cliché
bad-guy moves, Silvermane.

An interesting turn
of events, Prowler.

I see you brought me
the Spider.

It's not exactly
the cash you owe me,

but the bounty
on this little insect's head

is worth quite a bit.

[chuckles]
I barely had to lift a finger.

Spider-Man followed me here
just to help and be a hero.

Wait. This was a setup?

Hmm.

You might just prove useful

to my organization
after all, Prowler.

Finish Spider-Man,
and I might forget your debt.

Hobie? You can't!

Don't do it. I can tell
you're better than this.

Sorry.

[both crying out]
[Silvermane]
What?!

[groans]

[grunts]
[yells]

[grunts, groans]

Aahh!

Phew!
You had me going.
[weapon clatters]

You're gonna pay for that.

Did you know
that could happen?

[bones crack]
Mm, guess so.

[grunts]
[both yell]

Why didn't you
tell me Silvermane
was a cyborg Mob monster?

Don't know how that part
could've slipped my mind.

[laughs]

[yells]
Kicking a houseguest?

[grunts]
Now, that is bad manners!

[yelling]

Please don't see me.
Please don't see me.

[grunts]
Ah, he saw me!
[yelling]

[grunts]
[yells]

Oh, I'm fine.

[grunts]

Not fine!
[screams]

Whoa!

Abe, get outta here!
Call the police!

Friends don't let friends
get blasted!

Wha--
Now take a time-out and think
about what you've done.

Little spider,

I'm gonna have to
squash you myself

and collect that bounty.

[Spider-Man]
How about a parting gift
instead?

Like this, uh, coffee table!

[yells]

Maybe not.

[yells]

You picked the wrong day

to start being a hero.

[groans]
I need a strategy,

but I'm too exhausted
to even think straight lately.

Just like the fight
on the roof.

Wait. The roof!

[grunts]
[yells]

[grunts]

Prowler, do you have any more
of those doohickeys?

You know, from the cage?

Not enough to make
a complete cage.

[grunts]

We don't need one.

Remember the science
I taught you?

Got it!

It's time I put an end
to this pathetic stunt,
Prowler.

Wha--

Pillow fight!

What? Everybody likes
a good pillow fight.

[growls]

[fire alarm blaring]
Prowler, now!

[crying out]

[screaming]

[grunts]

[groaning]

You saved my life
more than once today.

Not how I expected
this to turn out.

Yeah. Neither of us
have had the day we expected.

Thanks, Spider-Man.

No need. It's all
part of that whole

super and hero thing
I keep trying
to explain to you.

And for what it's worth,

I think you make
a better hero than a thief.

You did all right back there.
Both of you.

Maybe something
to think about, huh?

See ya around.

Oh, and, Spider-Man,

you said something
about needing a battery.

I did?

You mumble when
you're barely conscious.

[chuckles]
I mumble when I'm
completely conscious too.

This is--
This is an even better battery
than what I needed.

It's yours.

Okay, now you may have
just saved my life.

Thank you.
No need.

I hear it's all part
of that whole
superhero thing.

That it is.

Sorry to have to run,
but I have a science project
to finish.

See ya, guys!
[web sh**ter deploys]

Did he just say
"science project"?