02x09 - Bring on the Bad Guys: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[sighs]
It only took three weeks,

seven hours, four wrenches,
and two school blackouts,

but we have our Storm Impact
Pattern Machine built.

What do you plan on doing
with your first million?

I mean, after SIPMA gets funded
by all the corporations

attending Horizon's Open House.

Let's finish it first
and go yacht shopping later.

But if SIPMA gets funded,
I'm totally buying
a hot-air balloon.

Ooh. Fancy tastes.
[Peter panting]

Peter, what's wrong?

Not enough hours in the day!
[panting]

Only 24 of them left
until the open house!

Hope your project's ready!

[panting continues]

Endless bad-guy attacks,

a looming school deadline,
and me without a changing room.

[chuckles]
He must be really far behind.

I haven't seen Peter
this frantic since that
whole Spider Island business.

When every single New Yorker,
including us,

got spider powers...

It was madness.

Luckily,
everybody was cured.

Yeah. Everybody.

Well, Pete should've managed
his time better.

Look at everything we've
accomplished on our project.

With these antennas
set to measure ion-charged air,

SIPMA should be able to predict
oncoming weather events,

like superstorms,
more effectively
than science can now.

Time to see this baby in action.

[whirring]

Looks beautiful.

And it can all be controlled
by an app on my phone.

Wow. I think this thing
might actually work.

[chuckles]
Yeah!
[chuckles]

Huh?

Wait.

Something's wrong.
Either the machine's broken,

or Midtown's about
to get a tornado.

Ion buildup
on Antenna 4.

[groans]
Your ears just pop?

[Anya]
More like reality just popped.

Aah!

Gwen, Anya,
get out of here!

I don't know how long
I can hold the Spot!

Hold what spot?

Guessing he's talking about
that human Dalmatian.

We gotta call the police.
Avengers. Whatever!

[grunting]
Aah!

[Gwen]
Whoa! This guy
can teleport stuff?

[grunts]
Run!

Too late!

Anya, Gwen, watch out!

Huh? Aah!
[groans]

Time to split!

[all grunt]

"Time to split"?
Did you just make
an atom pun?

The adrenaline.
I couldn't help it.

Get to safety.
A whole string of weird,
new bad guys have been after me.

Huh?
[groans]

Spidey's gonna get slammed.

We can't just call the cops.
They'd never get here in time.

We have to do something.

We both know who could help.

Yeah, us!
Doing what we do best-- science.

That's not what I was--
Come on!

You know the crazy readings
we got right before
the portal popped open?

Those portals probably
charged the air with ions,
which SIPMA can detect.

Hmm. It's still connected.

Let's put your hypothesis
to the test.

There's an ion spike
near Antenna 1.

Open SIPMA's video feed.

Look!
Pop goes the portal.
We can predict

where he's gonna
strike next.

But how does that help?

I've got an idea.

These portals are somehow
created by ion flow, right?

What if instead of just
detecting Spot's portal energy,

we could distort it
by redirecting the ion waves?

Hmm?
Hypothetically possible,

if we had a way to project
the ion pulses.

But we'd have to pump an insane
amount of power into SIPMA.

And I know just the thing.

Come on!
Anya, wait!

If whatever
you're planning fails,

you need to be prepared
to use your--

It won't fail.

[Gwen]
What's up here that's going to--

Oh, the school's
solar grid.

Hello, insane amount of power.

Now to find a way to transmit
the ion pulses.

The sat dish!

Yes!

I love science!

[Spider-Man]
I hate everything!
[echoing]

[Spider-Man yelling]

[grunts]

Got the app fired up
and ready.

Hate to think what this
is gonna do to your phone's
data plan.

They offered me unlimited.

I think the company's
gonna regret that.

[whirring]

Fifty percent sync!
Come on already!

I... think... I'm... going...
to... be... sick!

We got sync!
[yelling]

[Anya]
But the Spot's
closing up his portals!

[Gwen]
He could've sent
Spidey anywhere.

Underwater,
the top of a mountain,
deep space...

We can take control
of his portals now, right?

Open them back up.
We have to get Spidey!

Ugh! I can't!
They need to be active.

[Anya]
He's leaving and taking
the portals with him!

Should I...

Yes! Anya,
open his portals again.

You know
what you need to be.

Fine. Amazing it is.

[panting]

[grunting]
[Spider-Girl]
Hey, Mr. Polka Dot!

We're not through here!
[yells]
[grunts]

Looks like Spider-Girl
hits the Spot.
[Gwen groans]

Your first line in costume,
and that's what you went with?

What? That was totally
classic battle banter.

[Gwen]
Seriously, cut the puns and get
him to send out his portals!

[both grunting]

[yells]
[grunts]

[grunts]

I'm all the way over here,
Spotty.

How you gonna get me?

[grunts]

Huh?

[grunts]

[groaning]

Aah!

This is way more painful

than Spider-Man lets on.

Gwen, his portals are active.
Do your thing!

Almost.
[buttons beeping]

Yes! Got it!
Let's see what we can do.
[beeping]

Redirecting portals now.

[grunts]

Time to give him a taste
of his own medicine.

[yelling]

[both grunting]

You've got a neat trick, Spot.

Thought we'd get in
on the action.

Finish him up.
We've gotta get Spidey.

[grunts]

[grunting]

[yells]
[grunts]

[grunts]

Be cool.
Don't freak out.

You just beat your first
bad guy as Spider-Girl.

No biggie.
[chuckles]

Nice!

Now to get Spidey back.

If I invert the polarity...
[beeping, trilling]

There! I reoriented
one of his portals
via quantum tunneling.

It should take you
to the exact coordinates
where Spidey was sent.

Weird first day, huh?

Yeah. But normal's overrated.

Come on, Spider-Girl.
I know you got this.

[shivers]
Polar... bears...

[sighs]

[Gwen clears throat]
Spidey, wake up.

[Spider-Man groans]

[groans]

What happened?

Our machine
was able to take over
the Spot's portals.

No big thing.
Weird.

I could've sworn another
spider person saved me from...

polar bears?

Yeah.

Hypothermic hallucinations
can be very convincing.

Oh, heads-up.
The police are on their way
to arrest the Spot.

[groans]
The police aren't the biggest
fans of me right now.

Don't know how to thank
you guys enough.
You saved my life.

Saved by science.

It's how we do.

You ever gonna tell him?

What? That I'm
the only person

that kept their powers
after Spider Island

because of the experimental cure
I tested on myself?

Nope.

Why not? It's awesome.

As fun as dressing up
as an arachnid may be,

going to college and running
a tech company someday
is all the adrenaline I need.

Muggers and maniacs
already have enough heroes
to deal with in this city.

What are more webs gonna add?

You know I'll support
whatever you decide.

But I gotta admit,
I'm a little jealous
of those powers of yours.

Plus you got some rad moves.

Could be one of the greats.
Top ten, easy.

[sighs]
Maybe someday.

Twenty-three hours till
my open house project is due.

[grunts]
Fighting with the Spot
really put a hole in my day.

Whew. Gotta focus...
[mumbles]

Open house project's

almost done... for...

[snores]
[semitruck horn blaring]

[screams, grunts]

Worst alarm clock ever!

[shuddering breath]

Oh, man.
If a near head-on collision

with a semi doesn't wake me up,
nothing will...

Wait!
Wh-Where'd the sun go?

But it was just daytime!

I didn't just fall asleep,
did I?

Oh, man. Gotta get back.
Only eight hours left now.

Cut me a break.

Fog's as thick as soup.
Can't even tell which way
Queens is.

And this bridge is never empty.
[rumbling]

What's that rumble?
Sounds like a...

Gah!

[grunts]

A tank?!

I had no idea
that thing was coming.

How did two tons of steel
slip past my spider-sense?

Plus Hydra agents?!

[weapons firing]

[grunts]
Okay. Guys--

Seriously, why is this
my life right now? Aah!

[grunting]
Let's all just go home.

Have some cocoa.
Read a book.

Huh? What happened?

Get down, soldier!

[grunts]

Captain America?!

Yes.

We've met once,
but you probably don't remember.

I'm a huge fan.

Tony-- I mean, Mr. Stark--
You know, Iron Man--

He ever talk about me?
Spider-Me? I mean Man.

Speaking of talking, I should--
I'm-- I'm-- I'm just gonna stop.

So...
[clears throat]
Yeah.

What's going on?
[weapons firing]

The world's in danger,
and we need you
in the Avenjet, now!

[whirring]

Whoa! By "we," you mean--

The Avengers. Now go!

Oh, man, oh, man!

Avengers missions
are the best missions!
What about you?

I can't just leave
Captain America high and dry.

We can't waste time.
I'll hold them off
while Black Widow debriefs you.

Yes, sir, Captain, sir!

Yo, Widow!

Long time and all that.

Oh, uh,
was that too casual?

I-I-I don't know.
We worked together that once.

I'm not saying
I'm totally memorable.

You probably see
super people every day.
I just--

I-I should stop talking.

Uh, so, yeah.
What's going on?

More Hydra messiness, huh?

Widow?

That's not normal.
A hologram?

Is this an Avengers'
initiation prank or something?

You guys!

[yelling]

[yelling continues]

[grunts]
Ouch.

Whoa. Wait.

I fell asleep on that bridge.
I'm dreaming, right?

[male voice]
Welcome, Spider-Man,
to my fun house.

Please, don't let
there be clowns.

Clowns equal un-fun house.

Allow me to properly
introduce myself.

For I am Mysterio,

Master of Illusion
and dealer of your demise.

Mystery-who-now?

Ahead of you are three
pathways of doom.

Come, choose, and see
what's on the other side.

[evil laughter]

Considering there's
no emergency exits,
guess I have to do this.

I don't know, though.
These don't seem
particularly doomy.

I mean, come on.
There's a door
with a kitty theme.

Destruction by kittens
sounds like the most
adorable way to go.

And also a really solid name
for a band.

[all mew]

[purring]

Aww! Talk about
warm and fuzzy overload.

[purring]

[deep growling]

Uh, that cat's meow
is a little rough.

Maybe it's just
fighting a cold.
[growling]

Like a really, really

bad cold.
[roars]

Not a cold!

[yelling]
[roars]

Wait a minute.
This whole night's

been nothing but holograms
and fake Avenjets.

Which explains why that Hydra
tank didn't trigger
my spider-sense.

[growling]
Ohh, who's just the cutest
man-eating thing in this room?

That's right. You are.

[chuckles]
I'm not in any real danger,

because you're totally--
[roars]

Ow!

[grunts, groans]

A real man-eating thing!

Not fake. Not fake!
[growls]

Nice kitty. Nice kitty!
[roars]

[roars]

[grunting]
[roaring]

Yaah!

[snarls]

[grunts]

[both growling]
Oh, cool. More panthers.

And I was thinking this fight
wasn't fair enough.
[all growling]

[grunts]

[sighs]
Another hologram.
[growling continues]

Great. So only one
of these deadly panthers is,
you know, deadly.

Trouble is, which one?

Projection's gotta be
coming from somewhere.
Gotcha!

It's tracking
the two on the left,
which means--

Oh, please be right!

[panthers roar]

Okay. Weird.
Kinda awesome, but still weird.

[growls, roars]
[kitten mews]

Now to get outta here.

Here again?
How can that--

Something tells me
this Mysterio guy is not
gonna be my new best friend.

What I really want is
a big exit sign.

But this door promises
zero saw blades, so...

[chuckles]
This is... great.

Just me, myself, and I.

[thud]
[grunts]

Ouch!

Glad no one saw that.
[whimpers]

This is what J. Jonah
thinks I look like anyway.

Not bad. Maybe I could
go by "Daddy Longlegs."

Watch out, Ant-Man!
[chuckles]

Whoa! Dead end, I guess.

Uh...

Huh?

Uh...

Sure.
Nothing creepy about this.

[panting]
Okay.

At least that's
a normal reflection--
What?

I have to get outta here.
I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Huh?

Aha! Gotcha!

[grunts]

Stop hitting yourself!

Oh, joy. A reflection of me--
jokes and all.

[yells]

As if I don't already
beat myself up enough.

Okay, that looks
nothing like me.
[grunts]

[grunting]

Take that, robo-me!

Robotics? Panthers? Holograms?

Mysterio's all illusion.
And felines.

But what does
he want with me?

Two rooms down.
Welcome to number three.

Come find me, Spider-Man,
if you can make it to the exit.

Finally!
Exit sign, how I love you.
[chuckles]

Just glad I didn't have to
go through the room with the...
saw blades.

If I can predict the paths
of the blades, I can...

Got it!

Talk about cutting it close.

All right. Is there a word
for the opposite of a fun house?

Please be a real exit.

Hmm...

[Mysterio]
Welcome to my domain.

I admit you've progressed
farther than I imagined.

But now, to all good things
must come an end.

For the fortune you gaze upon
is your doom,

at the hands of Mysterio!

Oh, come on!
Nothing? Really?

Do you know how long it took
to perfect that entrance?

[sighs]
Showmanship's a dying art form.

Oh, well.
Good-bye, Spider-Man.
[snaps fingers]

Stop--
[screaming]

Hello, payday.

Huh.
That was disappointing.

No witty repartee?

I expected more.
[sighs]

That's a wrap.
[laughs]

And one of my best
performances to date.

[machinery whirring]

Hey, Schmoopy.

The bad man scare you?
[purrs]

I'm sorry.
It's all over now.
[growling]

Oh, I know.
It's mere scraps.

But once I collect
the bounty on Spider-Man's head,

you'll be feasting
on only the finest filets.

Psst!

Ta-da!
It--

It can't be.
I destroyed you!

Does this feel
like an illusion?

[yells]
[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts, groans]

But how?

Please! You think
you're the only one

who knows how
to program a robot?

S-S-Stop hitting
[distorted]
yourself.

[static, rattling]
So busy gloating,
you didn't notice the ol'

"switch Spidey
with a robot double
and fool the bad guy" trick.

It can't be.
I was so close
to the brass ring!

The money! The respect!

[whimpers]
Buddy, this can't be
your first time losing.

Take a breath.

So, someone
put a price on moi?

Mind telling me who?
Also, how much?

Curious what an arachnid-powered
hero goes for in this economy.

A magician
never reveals his--
[crying out]

Yeah, well,
the New York Police Department

will be able to get
some answers out of you.

I'll let them know
you're here.

Where is here, anyway?

Whoa! Wait! 8:36AM?

It's still day?
I only lost half an hour!

Even after dropping
a call to the police,
I still have

over 23 hours to finish
my Horizon Open House project!

[laughs]

Science, here I come!