02x01 - How I Thwipped My Summer Vacation

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[Peter Parker]
We're finally here--
the beach!

The beach is cool,
Pete, but--

Ohh!

Maybe you're
a little too excited?

Are you kidding, Miles?

Between school at Horizon
and superhero stuff,

we never get
to just be normal kids.

But even summer classes
are done,

so I'm finally gonna have
the perfect vacation.

I made a Perfect
Summer Vacation checklist.

See? And right at the top--
beach day.

You made a checklist
of how to have fun?

That's the opposite
of fun.

[boy chuckles] Look at this.
Hmm?

Some puny eggheads

wound up on our beach, boys.

Let's give them
a welcome.

[grunts]

Hey.
[laughing]

You think
that's funny, weirdo?

[laughing]

Classic bullies
kicking sand.

Ah, exactly what would
happen to normal kids.

I love summer!

Uhh... Mm...

Let's get away
from this freak.

I can now cross
"bully encounter"

off my beach sub-list.

Lots left to do--

swimming, sand castles,
jellyfish stings.

If we're gonna do all that,
I need to fuel up.

Hot dogs. Also on the list.
I'll go get 'em.

Come one, come all to our
annual summer challenge.

Beat our boardwalk
hot dog eating champion,

and you'll win
the cash prize!
[onlookers murmuring]

We have a challenger.
Step up!

Hmm. Black Cat?

That sneaky cat burglar's
stealing from a hot dog contest?

Peter Parker might
need a vacation,

but Spider-Man
can never rest.

Just got to get this
over with quickly.

So that I can get back
to Miles with those hot dogs.
[grunts]

[grunting]

You.
Look, Cat,

I've got a whole list
of things to do,

and you've probably got--

I don't know--
yarn to bat around.

Why don't you give
the money back,

and we'll call it a day?
Oh, sweetheart,

I thought you'd know me
better than that by now.

Ohh! Why did I make
eye contact?

Her bad luck powers. Huh.
It's probably okay.

I've already decided
this is going to be
the best summer--

Whoa!

[groans]

She'd definitely win

an Annoying Superpowers
contest.

Mwah.
[grunts]

I'm sure I'll be fine.
I mean,

how long can Black Cat's
bad luck even last?
Huh?

I just hope Miles isn't
too bored while I'm goooone!

[slurping]

[panting]

[yells, grunts]

Whoa! Whoa. Ohh!

Ohh!

[sighs]
Great.

Yeah!

I finally got yooouuu!

Okay, Black Cat,
it's been fun--

lie-- but I've
got someone

who's probably tired
of sitting around
waiting for me,

so hand over the money.

You'll never learn, will you?

Wait. What?

Huh? Ugh.

[hacking]

Ha! See?

That's how it feels.
Annoying, isn't it?

Then prepare to be annoy--

Uhh!

Ah! No more bad luck.

[sighs]
Now to call the cops,

return this money
to the talking hot dog man--
[grunting]

I can't believe
I just said that--

...and salvage what's left
of my perfect day.

[sputtering]

"Thwop"?

They never make
a "thwop" sound.

Great. Dirt
in the mechanism.

Gonna be a long crawl
back to the beach.

[groaning]

[hot dog man]
We have a wiener!

The new champion is

Miles Morales!

[burps]

And people said
my big mouth was a problem.

Miles 1, haters 0.

Pete! You never came back
with the hot dogs,

and I was starving,
so I won a lot of money.

You were right.
This was the perfect
beach day.

Except you sort of totally
completely missed it.

[sighs] I know.

More bad luck.

But don't worry. There's
a lot left on the list,

and I'll make the perfect
summer vacation happen yet.

All right. Today I'll finally
get to check something

off my Perfect
Summer Vacation checklist--

♪♪ [organ]
my first baseball game.

I may not know third base
from a seventh-inning stretch,

but Aunt May's a fan.
She'll catch me up.

Peter. There you are.

Aunt May? You look great!

Oh. [chuckles]
My game face.

It's my duty as a superfan
to lend the team my support.

The New York Spirit rules!

Uh, I feel
a little underdressed.

Don't worry. You probably
won't jinx the team.

Probably.

Where is everybody?

I thought the place
would be packed.

We're playing the Short Sox,

who we haven't lost to
in a decade.

Last year,
we won 47 to nothing,

so people
aren't that interested.

No suspense.

[bat clacks]
[gasps]

[spectators] Aw!
What? Was that a good thing?

The Short Sox got a home run?

That hasn't happened in years!

Yeah!

Unless that's bad?

[bat clacks]
Ohh!

[spectators groan]
Another homer?

Impossible.

Definitely bad. Right?

I'm a nervous eater.

Can you
get us some snacks?

Peanuts? Nah.

Nachos?

Nah.

Peanut nachos.

Nah.

Hmm. Let me think.

[spectators] Ohh!

What? How could the ball

have changed
angular momentum like that?

The basic physics
don't add up.

[laughing]

Hmm.

I'm no expert
on "sportology,"

but that's not right.

[spectators] Ohh!

[laughing]

I'm no expert, but that seems
like bad sportsmanship.
Huh?

Remote controlling
the ball?

Yeah. I'm gonna
call that a foul. Foul--

That's baseball, right?

I'm not mixing up sports, am I?

I wasn't doing anything.

Oh, so you're running away
because you're innocent? Aah!

Watch it! Hey!

I thought I was here
for baseball, not dodgeball.

[bat clacks]
[cheering]

A line-drive home run?

h*-h*, we're back!
The Spirit rules!

Too bad Pete's missing this.
What's taking him so long?

Oof! Uhh!

How's that thing work?
Magnetic waves?

Magnetic waves,
sound waves, air currents.

The forces of nature
are controllable by me,

the Tinkerer.

[chuckles] The who now?

The Tinkerer.

I invent things,
sometimes evil things.

I'm a master criminal.

Nope. Still not
ringing a bell.

If you really are
some super villain,

why was your big plan
to mess up a baseball game?

I'm sick of my team
always getting beaten.

You're some big hero,

so you have no idea
what it's like to lose

time and time again.

Uh... yeah. No idea.

I just wanted to see
my boys win for once.

Is that so wrong?

Is cheating wrong?

I'm gonna go with yes.

But, hey, at least I know
who you are now, Tinkertron.

Tinkerer!

And you're out!
[chuckles]
♪♪ [organ plays "Charge"]

Again, that is baseball
I'm thinking of, right?

♪♪ [organ]

Sorry.
Long line at concessions.

You missed the comeback
of the century.

The Spirit are
crushing the Short Sox.

Sorry I missed all the action.

I'll have to come again
next game.

Honey,
I'm not superstitious,

but maybe you shouldn't
come to any more games.

You might be a jinx.

I'm running behind, Gwen.
I know.

Did he pick up? He lost
his ticket, didn't he?
♪♪ [loud rock]

How can you be late,
Peter?

Ross Calaban is your
favorite singer,

and these seats
are amazing.

You didn't lose
your ticket, did you?

He lost his ticket,
didn't he?

No! I didn't lose the ticket.

I'll be there
sooner than soon.

You'd better. It's gonna
start any minute.

Remember,
this concert's on your
Perfect Summer checklist.

Get here.

Whoa! Is that him?

Ross Calaban?

Whoa, guys,
I've got a show to do.

Can I sign autographs after?

[knuckles cracking]
Heh heh heh heh.

Let me go!

[grunting] Ah.

Something tells me those th*gs
aren't members of his fan club.

[tires screeching]

Uhh!

Dad, I want
my birthday present.

Now, if ya know
what's good for ya.

Heh. My son knows
what he wants, huh?

That'll serve you well
in business, kid.

I'll give you the business.

[chuckling] Okay.
Take off the blindfold.

Huh? You see that?

[tooting]
It's that, uh--

It's the singer
all the kids like.

Daddy did good,
am I right?

Ross Calaban!
Sing, ya punk. Now!

Uh-- Oh, okay, okay,
sure, yeah.

D-Do you--
Do you have music or--

I usually sing to music.

Dad, this guy
might sing like an angel,

but he don't hear too good.

Uh, take him out back

and pop some sense
into the pop star, boys.

Wait! No, no, no, no, no.

I could sing without music.
Sure. Uh, no problem.

Hey! Hands off the megastar.

Spider-Man?

Wow!
Ross Calaban knows my name?

Wow. Spider-Man knows my name?

I'm a big fan.
I'm a big fan.

Dad, the pajamaed mook
is ruining my birthday!

Oh, no, he ain't.

You're in my house now, see?

Yow! What is-- Ohh!

What was that?
[muffled shouting]

You're gonna turn yourself
in peacefully? Great!

Whoa!

Huh. [grunts]
Hey, hey.

Hey-- Ohh!

You ruined my birthday!

You're gonna sleep
with the fishes!

Aw, come on, kiddo.

That's not
a nice thing to say.

And this ain't
a nice thing to do.

[yells]
[grunts]

[yelling]

Aahh!

Crazy monkey ninja boy!

Crazy monkey ninja boy!

Stand and fight, ya loser!

I can't hit a seven-year-old.

I just turned eight.

[grunts]

[yells]

Kid, wait!

Eh, what do you want,
ya crooner?

To make a deal.

Leave Spidey alone,

and I'll take
a selfie with you.

So? Everyone will think
it's fake.

I'll post it myself.

Your popularity
will go through the roof.

All the other kids
will want you to be

their third grade mob boss
or whatever.

I like the sound of that.

Deal.

Wow.

Saved by the power
of celebrity.

Spidey, move.
You're gonna ruin my pic.

Formaggio.

[camera shutter clicks]

You sure you don't
want to come backstage?

Thanks, but I got friends
already inside waiting.

Thank you, Spider-Man.
I owe you.

Break a leg.

[man]
Ticket.

I got it right, uh--

uh--

I had it.

Where'd it go?

Nice try, buddy.

Gwen?

Yeah, I'm finally here,

but, uh, you were right.
I lost my ticket.

Sorry.
We'll catch up later.

[Ross]
Hello, New York!
Sorry I'm late.

I'd like to dedicate
tonight's show
to a friend of mine--

Spider-Man!

"Friend"?

The Ross Calaban
said I'm his friend?

Yes! That makes me
almost cool.

♪♪ [humming]

♪ Ahh ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

Oh, yeah!

[Miles] They thought
they were always prepared,

but nothing
prepares you for...

the Mummy of the Hills!

[boys screaming]

So spooky!

[giggling]
Miles, no offense,

but you're absolutely
terrible at telling
campfire stories.

Seriously.
And fact check--

mummies are from dry places
like Egyptian deserts,

not lush forests.

Ha! I know, right?

So unexpected.

That's why it's so spooky.

Right, Peter?

Uh, right. Spooky.

Or not spooky.

What were we talking about?

Huh. See?
I scared him senseless.

[Gwen] You okay, Pete?
You're a million miles away.

I'm sorry. It's just--

You know I made that

Perfect Summer Vacation
checklist?

But nothing's
really worked out.

Now the summer's
almost over,

and I've checked off
next to nothing.

Camping was on the list,
right? And we're here.

Even if we have to listen
to Miles' awful ghost stories,

don't quit on us, Parker.

There's still time
to have a great summer.

Yeah. Maybe.

Or maybe not,

if ghosts get us.

Ghosts don't
exist, Miles.

Oh, yeah? I've never
heard a ghost say that.

Seriously, this area's
supposed to be haunted.

My cousin heard it
from his friend's aunt,

so it's the real deal.

It all started

with a shadowy form
flying through the treetops.

Then--

[groans]
I'm headed for bed

before Miles
gets going again.

Good night, everyone.
Night, guys.

I'll clean up. I wouldn't
want you out in the open

in case any ghosts
or mummies come by.

I know you're kidding,

but good point.

Anya? Gwen?

Is that you?

Hey! Our stuff!

Huh?

[grunts]
Come out, come out,
whatever you are.

If you're the Mummy
of the Hills,

you should know
that you're supposed to
be in a drier climate.

Huh? Whoa!

Okay, what are you,
the ghost of a tree trimmer?

[grunts]

[grunts]
Whoa!

My name is Nocturnal,

for I hunt by night.

[grunts]
[grunts]

Oh, you got some nasty
toenails there.

[screeches]

[grunts]
Did you just peck at me?

I don't give a hoot
who you are.

That's just rude.

Aah! Super creepy!

[grunting] Oh, man,
oh, man, oh, man!

Are you gonna drink my blood?

What? Why would I
do that? Weird.

That's what spiders
do, right?

To things
caught in their webs?

I don't carry
the theme that far.

Why were you
stealing that stuff?

I'm starving, man.
I need food.

Food? Don't owls
just eat rodents?

I don't carry the theme
that far.

Touché. So, have you been
out here for long?

No.

But I've had to hide
in these hills for weeks.

Ever since a lab accident
made me into this owl dude,

my parents, my friends--
they all ran me out.

They think I'm a monster.

Lab accidents are one
of my pet peeves, too.

It's how I got my powers.

Really? A lab accident

turned you
into a sick spider freak?

I prefer the term
"awesome spider
cool guy," but yeah.

Then why are you not
out here like me--

hated, living in the trees,
and stealing food to survive?

I-- I've always
had people around me

who accepted me
for who I am, I guess,

whether I'm a science geek
or a superhero.

You're one lucky dude.

Yeah. I guess I am.

I'm sorry you feel
you have to hide,

but I know there are
good people out there

who would help. In fact,

there's some people
in that camp you should meet.

[animal howling]

Nocturnal, wait!

My own parents kicked me out,

and you want me
to trust strangers?

I'm not ready, man.

Maybe someday.
Someday soon, I hope.

Here.
I stole this from them.

No. They'd want you
to keep it.

They're pretty great
like that.

What's all this? Breakfast?

Yep. Hope that's okay.

I don't know.
Will it somehow ruin
the camping trip?

[chuckles] Sorry I was
such a downer last night.

I was so obsessed
about not living up
to my perfect summer,

I didn't realize
I was already having it--

spending time with you guys.

That's what really matters,
right?

Of course, Pete.

You're really important
to us, too.

Besides, any apology
said with food

is an apology
I can accept.

Oh. You know the story

about the guy
with the hook?

Oh, no, wait.
That's the ending.

Uch! Let me start over.

[laughter]

One week of summer left.
Let's see how I'm doing

on the whole Perfect
Summer Vacation checklist.

Trip to the beach,

which I had to abandon
'cause of Black Cat.

Baseball game--
ruined by the Tinkerer.

Concert. I missed
that whole show,

thanks to Hammerhead,

but I did get to meet
Ross Calaban,

so I'm calling that even.

And camping. Total win,

despite the mysterious
owl boy.

So, that's one win,
two losses, and a tie.

[sighs] Good thing
school's starting soon

'cause winning
at summer vacation

is a lot harder
than I realized.

[phone beeping]
Whoa. Guess I missed
some messages

when I was out
of range camping.

Peter. Max Modell here.

Was hoping to schedule time
for you to come in

and train your replacement
as my lab assistant.

"Replacement"?

Yeah. The board only
authorizes that position

for first-year students.

I assumed
you knew that, Peter.

Of course.
I totally knew that.

Of course I totally
didn't know that.

Uhh! How am I going to afford
Horizon this year?

I can't ask Aunt May
or Harry for money.

They've already
done enough for me.

This is on you, Peter.

[slurping]

You're a smart kid.

You'll find a part-time job
with no problem.

Hi. My name's Peter Parker.

And if you'll
look at my résumé,

you'll see that--
[expl*si*n]

y-you-- you'll see that I'm
e-experienced in, uh--

[police officer]
Freeze, Scorpion!
I'm so sorry. I, uh--

My aunt's calling.
I gotta take this.

[grunts]
Sorry about that.

There was a pest problem
I had to take care of.

[man]
I'm sorry, but we just
filled the position.

Oh, this? Uh, it's just
a little sand-based accident

on the way here.
It's no big deal, really.

Uhh...

Goo? What goo?

Oh, man!

I've had a long morning.

[muffled yell]

[pants] What's this?

Oh, I have to give this
back to the police.

I mean, not the police.
Why would I even say that?

I mean, for charity.

Parking meters.
Parking meter charity.

Wow. Being Spider-Man
really puts a crimp

in a person's job hunt.

Hey, Pete.
Long time, no see.

Randy Robertson?
How have you been?

I've been having
the perfect summer vacation.

What have you been up to?

[chuckles] Interviewing
for part-time jobs, Randy,

and having zero luck.

Well, my dad works
at that media company,

the Daily Bugle.

They're expanding,
doing a lot of hiring.

Want me to see if I can
get you an interview?

A job?

Listen, Peter Palmer--

Peter Parker.

The Daily Bugle's
a top-tier

multi-platform
news organization.

Call me back when you
can grow facial hair.

Brock, this is the footage
I've been waiting on?

I thought you were a pro!

I can't use this!

My grandma could take
better video of Spider-Man,

and she's not even
alive anymore!

I'd pay through the roof

if anyone could get me
some good clean footage

of this Spider-Man!

Paying for shots
of Spider-Man?

Hmm. Maybe I'm gonna be
able to afford school
this year after all.