01x04 - A Day in the Life

[bunniefuu]

[ALARM BLARING]

What? Who? Vulture?

Oh, right.

I have to get to school early today.

Lots to do. Very...

[YAWNS]
important.

One more second.

Photosynthesis!

Oh, must have dozed off again.

Gotta make lunch before I...

Aww. What would I do without you,
Aunt May?

[BUZZES]
What would I do without you, Aunt May?

Yeah, I'm awake. Thanks for checking.

I was just finishing up my project
for Dr. Octavius' class.

I'll do my best. Love you too.
[BEEPS OFF]

Doesn't matter that I came up
with this tracer idea

so Spidey could keep track of bad guys.

This baby's gonna get Peter Parker an "A"!

Electrostatic stickiness-- check.

[BEEPING]

Range detection? Still needs work.
But I should be able to fix that.

Unless I'm fired for not cleaning
this place up like Max asked.

Purrr-fect.

Hey, Harry. It's Pete.

Not gonna make our breakfast powwow
because I had to get to school early.

But let's meet there for lunch.
See you later.

Hmm? Hmm.

Why?

And really, how often
does a ceiling get cleaned?

Uh-oh.

Mm. I wonder what they want with you.

Eh, doesn't matter, as long as I get paid.

Hi. Something tells me
you don't have a visitor's pass.

Mm, you got me. Here.

Really? Didn't think it'd be so-- Aah!

-[GRUNTS]
-Note to self, Spidey.

Bad guys never give up that easy.

Ugh! You're quick.

But you know what they say
about letting a black cat

cross your path, right?

Time to buy Halloween candy?

Nope. Bad luck.

Nice try. But I don't believe in luck--
good, bad, or otherwise.

Especially when I can just web
the exit shut. [GRUNTING]

Getting caught in my own web
isn't bad luck, just bad timing.

[BLACK CAT PANTS]
[SPIDER-MAN GRUNTS]

Okay, lady, nice try,

but you're not dealing
with an amateur here. Aah!

[GRUNTS]

BLACK CAT:
This was fun, Spider-Man.

Maybe we can do it again sometime.

Ha! Take that, bad luck.

Uh-oh.

[YELLING]

[ELECTRICITY ARCING]

Need something to break the current flow!

[GRUNTS, YELLS]
[ARCING STOPS]

[GROANS]

I guess that could've been a lot worse.

Uh-oh.

[GRUNTING]

[HUMMING]

-Huh? Hmm?
PETER: This place is a mess.

That was some earthquake, huh?

I hired you to clean my office,
Peter, not make it messier.

Where's my V-252?

-V-252?
-The canister

with the black liquid inside.

Oh, that. I didn't want it
to get damaged when I cleaned,

so I put it in the vault.

Okay. Well, get it back soon.

That was acquired from
the Space Administration,

and it is a pet project of mine.

I am this close to stabilizing the atom.

And if all goes as planned,

V-252 will be the first new element

added to the periodic table in years.

You got it, Max. It'll be back
by the end of the day.

Oh, and don't forget.

You promised to help me
with the interviews

regarding Harry's investigation.

I'll be here.
[BELL CHIMING OVER P.A.]

Can't be late.

-[BEEPING]
-Where are you off to, Miss Kitty?

Gotta find you before you cause
more trouble.

[BOTH GRUNT]

-Oh. Sorry, Dr. Octavius.
-Ugh!

Mr. Parker, I assume you're
running around the last minute,

trying to finish your science project
for my class?

No, sir. I've been working
on it for days. It's all done.

Hmm.

Almost done.

Just a few little adjustments.

But you're gonna love it.

If I can get it back.

Ugh! Love is for starry-eyed
dreamers, Mr. Parker.

It has nothing to do with science.

You remember that.

-Right.
-[BEEPING CONTINUES]

Love is for dreamy-eyed starfish. Got it.

Hmm!

-[HISSING]
-Just need to adjust

the motion vectors, and...

-[BEEPING]
-Aha!

You're at the computer store. Gotcha.

ANYA: Got who?
MILES: Yeah, what you got there, Pete?

Mm, uh...

Huh? Oh, uh, nothing.

Just my project for Dr. Octavius' class.

Well, it better be on fleek, Pete.

You know how Otto gets
when he's disappointed.

I know, I know.

I have to get the fleek on.
[CHUCKLES]

Uh, because it's-- I mean--
I'm still working on it.

Are we sure we want this slacker
in our study group?

Yeah. He's cool. Give him time.

You are still down
with study group today, right?

Study group? Right. Sure.
No. Wouldn't miss it.

I'll be there. Mr. Slott, can we take
a bathroom break?

Huh? Class hasn't even started yet.

Even better.

Whoever she is, this Black Cat seems
to have an even busier day than I do.

Excuse me. Nothing to see here.
[SCOFFS]

Sorry. That was your foot, wasn't it?
Nice shirt. Coming through!

-Hey!
-No cutsies!

Back of the line, pal!

Stop her! She just stole
the next generation phone prototype!

Way ahead of you, pal!

Don't look in her eyes.

Yoo-hoo!

[GROANS]
I looked in her eyes.

[GRUNTING]

-Whoops. Sorry. It wasn't me.
-[GROANS]

Well, it was,
but she gave me the bad luck.

But I don't believe in bad luck,
so never mind.

[GRUNTS THEN GROANS]

Who makes a cardboard wall?

Mwah!

[GRUNTS]
Free phones for everyone!

-Free phones?
-Yeah!

-All right!
-Excuse me! Out of my way!

I have to get to Black Cat before she...

Gone again!

Come on, Spidey. You're better than this.

Need to widen the locator range.

Hey, I know you. You're that new hero guy.

How about an interview
for my school paper?

Oh, Max's interviews!

-Uh, sorry. No comment.
-Ohh.

But you can read more about me on my blog.

-Once I start a blog!
-[GROANS]

[PANTING]

Sorry.

-Oh, hey, Peter.
-Huh?

Gwen. Hi.

This is my Uncle Raymond.

Uncle Raymond, Peter Parker.

Nice to meet you, Mr., uh...

-Warren.
-Warren.

As in Professor Raymond Warren
from Empire State?

The same Raymond Warren who is, uh,

lucky to have Gwen as a niece?

The very same. I'm very proud
of this young lady.

She's beginning to rival even my own work

with her achievements in DNA
and gene splicing.

Not quite, Uncle Raymond.

But I'm trying.

Well, I think you're Max's
first interview,

so let me show you in.

Max, this is Professor Raymond Warren.

Ah, Mr. Warren. I appreciate you taking
the time to come in.

Please, it's Raymond.

And I was happy to.

Max, is this an output level
control circuit?

It is.

-Could I borrow it?
-Sure.

You don't mind if Peter sticks around,
do you?

He's part of the investigation team.

Of course. I know you're looking

to clear Harry Osborn of any wrongdoing,

but I must say, I'm not sure
how much help I can be.

I'm just a substitute teacher
at Midtown now,

and didn't have much
interaction with the boy.

But if it means anything,

he always seemed like
a fine young man to me.

MAX: Well, I'm sure he'd appreciate
that, as do I.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Peter, did you say something?

Uh-huh?

Oh. [STAMMERING]

I said, uh, "As Harry's peer,
I'm giddy, giddy."

While I'm here, Max--

and I hope this isn't out of line--

I was wondering if there were
any openings here at Horizon.

My niece speaks highly of your school,

and I'd love the chance
to work with you and your staff.

I've followed your career, Raymond.

-Some very impressive work.
-Thank you.

I was saddened to hear
about the accusations at Empire State.

Yes. That I stole someone else's work.

Well, let me assure you that's a lie.

I was never even officially charged.

I'm sure, but I'm afraid
the ethics committee

would never approve of you working here.

At least while the matter
is being investigated.

Oh. Well, surely you can
appreciate my situation, Max.

-Has no one ever questioned your--
-I'm sorry, Raymond. The answer is no.

I see.

Very well.

[BEEPING]

The comic book shop.

Peter, would you mind
showing Professor Warren out?

Yeah. Of course. Great timing.

Thank you for your time, Max.

Of course, Raymond. Pleasure meeting you.

-This way, Professor.
-Huh? [GRUMBLES]

-[CHATTERING]
-Yeah!

This baby just got me an A-plus
in Otto's class!

High fives!

-Have a good day, sir.
-Oh, I plan to.

Thanks, old dude! Ow! Hey!

Hmm.

[DOOR BELLS JINGLE]

-Eh?
-Huh?

[PATRONS MURMURING]

I've been looking for you everywhere.

[MURMURING CONTINUES]

Isn't that comic book, like, priceless?

What comic book?

[GRUNTS]

-Hello!
-Ugh! How do you keep finding me?

I'll tell you if you tell me
how you keep giving me bad luck.

Sorry. But I will tell you this.

You're not the only one it works on.

Oh, what are the odds of that?

[TIRE SCREECHING]

Okay, maybe bad luck
could be a real thing.

SPIDER-MAN:
Have to prioritize.

Grab only the people in the danger zone.

Two degrees out of the zone. Mr. Vest.

Purple-haired lady. Tank top kid.

Whoo! A new issue of my favorite
comic is out.

[BOTH GRUNT]

[GRUNTS]

[YELLING]

[STRAINS, SIGHS]

[BYSTANDERS MURMURING]

We're okay! We're both okay!

[CHEERING, SHOUTING]

[SIGHS]
MAN: You saved us!

Huh. Boy, looks like I made
some fans today.

[GROANS]
Gone again!

I'd love to blame all of this
on Black Cat,

but if I don't fix this tracer,

I'm only gonna have myself to blame
for failing Otto's class.

Not to mention the suspension I'll get
for lying to Max about his missing V-252.

Wow, that Spider guy's awesome.

He gets more done in five minutes
than I do before lunch.

Lunch! I'm supposed to meet Harry!
Which is a good thing,

because no one realizes how hungry
super-heroing can make you.

[CHATTERING]

-Hey, Harry.
-Hey, Pete.

Sorry I'm late.

No worries. You okay?

Yeah. Just having trouble
with my project for Otto's class.

-What's wrong with it?
-It's a tracer,

but the GPS keeps losing the signal.

Have you tried replacing the battery?

[BEEPING]

-The battery?
-Here.

Take the one from my cell phone.
Should take the same type.

I ordered you your usual.
Hope that's okay.

[BEEPING]

[CHUCKLES]
It works!

[SLURPING]
Oh, thanks.

Anytime. So, what's going on
in your world?

Anya still giving you a hard time?

[BEEPING CONTINUES]

-Aunt May still working too hard?
-The museum!

-She's working at a museum?
-Huh?

What? Nope. She's fine.

School's fine. Job's fine. Classes, fine.

[GULPS, SLURPS]

Ahh. Everything's fine. You?

-I'm okay. I've been--
-Awesome!

Listen, I hate to say it, but I gotta run.

Catch you later. Be well. Fist bump. Bye.

[DOOR OPENS]

Yeah.

Great seeing you too.

It's true what they say.
Glass cutters are a girl's best friend.

Actually, no one's ever said that.

[SIGHS] Spider-Man.

You did that flashy eye thing, didn't you?

Well, the joke's on you,
because my eyes are closed.

What do you think about that, Black Cat?

Cat? Hello?

Whoa!
[YELLING]

[GRUNTING]

Easy, Spidey.
[GRUNTS]

Easy.
[GRUNTING]

[LAUGHS, SIGHS]

Hey, Spidey, catch.

Aw, come on!
[GRUNTING]

[LAUGHS]

This is gonna give me a complex.

[BEEPING]
How is she doing this?

Lost her!
[GROANS]

Guess it wasn't just the battery.

[RUNNING FOOTSTEPS]

-You're late.
-Sorry.

I was saving the Pompeii relics
from a second destruction. [CHUCKLES]

-[SCOFFS] You're weird.
-But very creative.

Next time, at least have a better excuse.

I'm serious. I was at the museum.

Did you know the Pompeii relics
have preserved for so long

because the volcanic ash
created a casing that protec--

Wait. That's it!

My GPS casing is too dense.

If it were thinner and lighter
instead of steel--

-No!
-Huh?

Anya, I have to.

Not until you answer
at least three study questions.

Okay. Fine. sh**t.

"What does methoxy magnesium
methyl carbonate do?"

It stops comic books from turning yellow.

That's right. Acid Hydrolysis.

"What is the result of boron atoms
in a crystalline lattice?"

They turn diamonds blue.

The man's on a roll.

"What allows cellular devices
to transmit without wires?"

-Batteries?
-I'm shocked.

And I'm gone.

[BEEPS]

Stopping by the lab to replace
the GPS casing

seems to have done the trick.

[BEEPING]
Or did it?

Is my tracer malfunctioning?

[ENGINE REVVING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]

Okay, not only are you
breaking the speed limit,

but I am 98 percent sure
cats are not allowed to drive.

[TIRES SCREECHING]
[HORNS HONKING]

Gotta stop her before I lose her again.

Even if it means
getting in her way to do it.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

She's gonna stop, right?

Right?

[BRAKES SCREECHING]
[YELLS]

A spider playing chicken with a cat.

Interesting.

Not as interesting as the stuff
you'll see in prison

-if you don't stop giving me bad luck.
-Aw, it's not always bad, sweetheart.

Sometimes it's cat-astrophic.

[RATTLING]

Huh?
[GRUNTS]

[LAUGHING]
Good luck with that!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[GRUNTING]

Sure wish it was spiders
that had nine lives.

You're really bringing down the house.
Aah! Way to go, Spidey.

[GRUNTS, GROANS]
[ALARMS BLARING]

Glad this building was abandoned
so no one had to hear that corny line.

[GRUNTS]
Whoa!

Wow. This ride-sharing thing
really is efficient.

Think, Spidey, think.

How's she causing so much havoc
if there's no such thing as bad luck?

Have to approach it scientifically.
If two negatives equal a positive,

then maybe her bad luck
would cancel out my bad luck.

Let's test that hypothesis.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[GASPS]

-Ma'am, can I see your registration?
-Hey!

[TIRES SCREECHING]
[HORNS BLARING]

Going under a ladder's
supposed to be bad luck.

-Let's find out.
-[YELLS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[HORN BLARING]
Isn't breaking a side mirror

seven years' bad luck?

What? How?
[GRUNTS]

SPIDER-MAN: Look out!
[GASPS]

-Coming through! I need to borrow this.
-Aahh!

Did you know that if you hang horseshoes,
all the good luck's supposed to fall out?

[BELL DINGING]
BLACK CAT: Empty?

How did you give me bad luck?

Who said I did? I just think dealerships
keep their car gas tanks close to empty

to prevent them from being stolen.
The hood was loose before you started,

and you ran over some glass
near the construction site.

-And why'd you grab that horseshoe?
-Just a superstition?

[POLKA]

Ugh! Polka music?

-Hey!
-Then, of course, there's bad news,

which is: you're going to jail.

[GRUNTING]

-Spider-Man: one. Bad luck: zero.
-[SIREN WAILING]

Oh, yeah!

Uhh, hey, guys.

Bet that was a weird thing to walk in on.

But you beat me at my own game.

That's impossible.

It's not impossible. It's cat--

Uh, cat--

I can't think of a good cat pun right now.

Huh. This is an odd list of items.

You opening a curiosity shop,

or you working for someone else?

Mm, you'll find out, if you're lucky.

Keep your eyes on this one, Officer.

She's very catty. Hey, there's one!

This was fun, Spider-Man.

Maybe we can do it again sometime.

Sorry. I think you'll be
taking a long cat nap. [GROANS]

Yes! Look at that. Two cat puns.

I'm fee-line so proud of myself. Another.

Man, I'm on a roll!

Yee-haw!

Cat nap, huh? We'll see about that.

[STUDENTS WHISPERING]
[PETER GRUNTS]

-Just in time!
-[BELL CHIMING OVER P.A.]

[CHATTERING]

Oh, come on. Class is over?

Professor Octavius, here's my project.

-It's--
-It's an "F," Mr. Parker.

No, it's not. It's a tra--

For you, Mr. Parker, it's an "F."

But if you'll just take a look,

-I'm sure you'll see--
-If you really wanted me to see it,

you would've been here on time.

Hmm.

Were you out saving more artifacts?

What? Oh, right. Sorry. I got--

An "F." I heard.

That better not affect our group average.

[SIGHS]
Nope.

This is purely a Parker loss.

But a win for Spidey.

Ouch. You might wanna have
the nurse take a look at that.

What good is a brain

if you don't take care
of the body it's in?

Pete, where'd you get a bruise like this?

You're not on the football team.

Believe it or not,

I got it trying to catch a Black Cat.

Well, you know what they say
about a black cat crossing your path.

-Bad luck?
-Nope.

Time to buy Halloween candy.

What's wrong now, Aleksei?

My hand won't stop itching.

There's some cream in the cabinet.
That should help.

Glad I got Max's V-252 back.

Although I have no idea
who'd wanna steal some black goo.

[SIGHS]
It's been quite a day.

But hopefully the bad luck
is finally behind me.