01x24 - Contest of Champions

[bunniefuu]

[JOHNNY WHISTLES]

Today is the day the Fantastic Four
fall before Ronan the Accuser.

What? Oh, today's supposed to be
All-You-Can-Eat Day at the House of Ribs.

Ben's gonna be bummed.

Susan! Johnny!

Ben!

Nice try, Ronan,
but you're never gonna win.

There's four of us, and let's face it,
I'm stronger than you.

He's prettier than you, too, blue guy,
and that's saying something.

Look how the monster insults me.

Me! Grand Accuser of the Kree Empire!

They have defeated me
time and time again.

Not through skill or superior combat,

but by interference, treachery
and betrayal.

All I ask is for the opportunity
to face the Fantastic Four

in fair and honorable combat.

I petition you,
great and powerful Grandmaster.

Grant me this challenge.

I grant your request, Accuser.
The challenge is issued.

You and the Fantastic Four
hereby enter the Contest of Champions.

[ALARM CLOCK RINGING]

[WATER SLOSHING]

Ben!

What the...

Where is he?

Johnny. I'm sorry.

My own sister. Real nice.

Oh, come on,
you've pranked Ben a million times.

Well, it's going to be a million and one
once I dry off.

- Do you think 500 gallons was too much?
- Too much and not enough.

You know I don't approve
of these childish games.

- But it was your idea.
- That's your word against mine.

GRANDMASTER:
Let the games begin.

SUZY: Reed, what just happened?

- REED: Well, technically...
- No. No, no, no, just... What happened?

We've been transported
to what appears to be a game board.

GRANDMASTER:
The Contest of Champions is far more

than a simple game, Reed Richards.

You and your team have been challenged.

Oh, yeah? Well, we challenge you.

- Johnny.
- Challenged by who?

Ronan?
What are you, a glutton for punishment?

Didn't we just send you packing?

Now you will all pay.
One by one, I will crush you in my hands.

Destroy you each in glorious combat,
and then I'll...

[GRANDMASTER
CLEARS THROAT]

Not exactly.

The events will be selected
from the minds of the contestants,

and the Fantastic Four
will be pitted against you and your team.

Events? Team?

I did not agree to this!

No mere mortal
makes the rules of the contest.

I do.

- Could this get any worse?
- Hey, guys! How's it going?

- You!
- You!

I kneel down.
On behalf of the Skrull Empire,

the Super-Skrull accepts entry
into the glorious Contest of Champions.

The sunlight. It burns. It burns! I can't see!

Why is this happening?

So, on a scale of one to 10,


Ten.

- What are you so happy about?
- Dude, do you know what this is?

This is like some kind of cosmic,
good guy/bad guy Olympics.

This is gonna be awesome.

These? These are my teammates?

Winged one is clearly insane,
and the fat, ugly one, well...

Just look at him.

It burns! It burns!

Perhaps a substitution is in order.

Ta-da!

Hi. It's me. What's this? A game?

Hey.

I want to play!

- Are we being punished for something?
- A Poppupian? No!

Your team roster is final, Accuser,
unless you'd prefer to forfeit.

No!

So we can choose to forfeit.
We're not being forced to play this game.

Of course not.
You can leave the contest at any time.

Oh, great, let's do that...

And what happens when a team forfeits?

They are erased from existence, of course,
along with their entire species.

What are the events? The rules?
Is our safety guaranteed?

Where's the contest held?
What happens to the losing team?

JOHNNY: Is there a trophy? Any prizes?

The winner receives one wish,
granted by the Elders.

Anything the victor can imagine.

Like the Kree Empire ruling the Universe?

That would be an excellent start, human.

The destruction of you and your friends
is another option.

Most people would have just wished
for a pony or something.

Decide, Reed Richards.
You play or you forfeit.

The Fantastic Four accept entry
into the contest.

[SCREAMING]

[GROANS]

Invisible Woman,
your first event is a Kree sport,

the running of the 'borg hounds.

The what?

Your opponent, Annihilus.

And what's the goal of this event?

Survival.

[GRUNTING]

What are you doing?

My hate for you and your clan
will not be put aside by some game.

I will destroy you.

And then, I will unleash...

Did I win?

GRANDMASTER: Thing, your first event
is an insectoid sport. Consumption.

Consumption?

Wait a minute. You want me to eat that?

It's... That ain't food. That's...
I don't know what that is.

Do you forfeit?

I can't believe I'm going to do this.

Did I win?

GRANDMASTER: Human Torch,
your event is Kree disk jousting.

Your opponent, Super-Skrull.

Oh, yeah, baby.
This is what I'm talking about.

Bring it on, Kree.

I wanted to go again.

Mr. Fantastic, you and Ronan will compete
in the Skrull sport, deception.

Your goal, avoid detection.

Detection from what?

GRANDMASTER:
The exhibition round has ended.

That explains why Ben and I are still here.
We were lucky.

Given the penalty for forfeiting,

I can only imagine what happens
when we lose.

This is nuts, Stretch.
What kind of contest is this?

The kind where you get your tail kicked
by the Impossible Man.

Loser!

I like your wings and your eyes.
What's a cosmic control rod?

Are you controlling me?

I like your teeth.

You were a fool
to petition the Grandmaster, Kree.

He's an Elder of the Universe.
They play by their own rules.

As do I, Skrull.

Let the elimination rounds begin.

Bring it on!

Charades.

A rocket.

A planet.

A hamburger.

An electron microscope.

The chair I'm sitting on.

A Poppupian game. Hide and seek.

- What? Who are you looking at?
- Looking for me?

- Nice to meet you.
- Can I help you?

- You're cute.
- Exactly.

- So hug me.
- Do you like my outfit?

An Earth game.

Scooter racing.

Come here, you.

Booyah!

Oh, come on. A spelling bee?
That's a Skrull game?

The Skrulls are excellent spellers.

Annihilus, your word is "gregarious."

- Can you use that word in a sentence?
- No.

G-R-E-G...

Incorrect.

I don't know. You are eliminated.

It's a metaphasic dimensional adjustor.
Everyone knows that.

What the... Sis? Flame on!

Your teammates have been eliminated,
Human Torch.

They belong to the Grandmaster now,
for all eternity.

What? I don't think so, pal.
This game is over.

The contest will not be interrupted!

Supreme Intelligence,
your Accuser is on the verge of victory.

Silence, Ronan!

You have put the entire Kree Empire
at risk by entering this contest.

I will aid you. But if you should fail,
the punishment will be severe.

Failure is not a possibility, Supremor.

The Thing versus the Impossible Man.

[NERVOUS GULP]

Yes! Sorry, kid, but nobody beats
Ben Grimm in a staring contest.

Ben Grimm of Earth
advances to the final round.

Should Ronan lose the next match,
the Fantastic Four automatically win.

Can you still use your powers?

Yes, but I've tried.
I can't break the stasis field.

That's okay. I have a plan as a last resort,
in case of trouble.

Can we be in any more trouble?

Piece of cake.
Come on, Grandmaster Funk.

Hit me with whatever weird game you got.
I can take it.

[JOHNNY SCREAMS]

Water!

Why did it have to be water?

The last event in the elimination round,
Kree water ball.

First contestant to score a hit wins.

What kind of sick game is this?

Okay. Okay. No way am I losing this.

Now!

As ordered, Supremor,
the beam did not touch the Human Torch.

We will now see how far
the Grandmaster's rules can be bent.

[LAUGHING]

What was that?
Ronan cheated or something.

Shenanigans, man.

Only Ben and Ronan are left.

The fate of the Earth quite possibly rests
on the outcome of one competition.

Susan, I'd say now's the time.

Take down the Grandmaster.

While I admire your tenacity, human,
I am an Elder of the Universe.

This contest will not be disturbed.

The final match begins.
The Thing versus Ronan the Accuser.

The event is as the challenger requests,
fair and honorable combat.

Ben.

Hey, Stretch, how about a little faith, here.
Don't worry, I've taken Ronan out before,

I'll do it now. I'll win.

Now!

Oh, boy.

No!

Grandmaster, Ronan is augmenting
himself. Surely this...

Silence, human.
I alone decide the rules of this contest.

Okay, Big Blue.
You wanna make this more interesting?

Fine by me.

Let's try that again.

Okay, then.

- Muscles ain't everything, sunshine.
- Again.

[GROWLING]

- Ben.
- Oh, crud.

Ben, get up! Get out of there!

No, we have to do something.
Ben can't beat him, not like this.

Grandmaster, stop this, please.
Let me take Ben's place.

Ben. Ben!

Yield.
Whatever happens, we'll deal with it.

- Just stop this, stay down.
- Stay down!

You've lost. It's over!

There's nothing you can do
to save your friends.

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

Yield!

Not gonna happen.

Is that your final decision?

Yeah. Do your worst, Ronan.

Ben Grimm of Earth, you are victorious!

The Fantastic Four
win the Contest of Champions.

What? No. I was clearly winning.

But you requested
fair and honorable combat.

In all my travels across the Universe,

never have I found someone
with such honor and spirit.

Ben Grimm is a true champion.

Say the word, and your greatest desire
to be human again will be yours.

Nice try, pal. This is my wish.

You're going to free everyone
you've ever taken,

starting with my friends.
No one should have to play your games.

Very well, human, your wish is granted.
Such are the rules.

No!

Know this, Ben Grimm,
the contest will continue,

and one day, I will call on you again.

Just don't call collect.

Ben!

You did it, Ben. You saved the world.

If it's all the same to you guys,

I'm gonna grab a bite to eat
and hit the sack.

Say no more, you big hero,
I've got just the thing.

BEN: Matchstick!
JOHNNY: Worm-eater!