01x22 - Shell Games

[bunniefuu]

A little to the left.

No. More to the right.

Up a bit.

Don't make me clobber you
with this thing, Stretch.

Less talking, please.
This isn't as easy as it looks.

Sorry, Suzy.

[BEN GRUNTS]

BEN: What's this for, again?

Provided you don't break it, this will be
part of the building's new security system.

Given all the attacks lately,
I thought I'd give us an upgrade.

Yeah, come on.
We don't get attacked that much.

Ben, the building has been shot into space,
pulled underground,

invaded by Doombots,
attacked by a giant monster,

turned into a b*mb and infested with bugs
from another dimension.

Yeah, but I think most of that
was Johnny's fault.

Speaking of Matchstick,
ain't he supposed to be helping?

What? My...

My Fantasticar? What happened?

Pretty sweet, huh? I had HERBIE make
a few mods to the old Fantasticar.

Wait. It gets better.

Do you like it, Dr. Richards?
Johnny said you would like it.

- Moron.
- Oh, yeah. You guys know you love it.

You know, I'm thinking maybe it's time
to upgrade HERBIE's mainframe as well.

But... Johnny said that would mean
you want to get rid of me.

No, HERBIE, that's not what I...

You know, I take back what I said before.
We do get attacked a lot.

Hey, that stings! Watch the face!

SUZY: Ben!

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

Oh no, you did not just scratch my ride.

It's on now, metal guy. Flame on!

Nothing like falling 30 stories
to start your day.

- Took you long enough.
- Hey, I could have let you go, "Splat."

Fair enough.

Take that!
And that, and this, and one of these.

Well, you took them.

Nice job. Hey, do we know this guy?

It would appear that this is a version
of the Iron Man armor

worn by Tony Stark's bodyguard.

SUZY: Tony Stark, the billionaire?

Why would he send his bodyguard
after us?

Whoa. Hey. I never even met the guy.

[GRUNTING]

Will you just wait?
Iron Man, why are you...

[SCREAMS]

I just... I just...

Strange. The suit is empty.

JOHNNY: It's... It's haunted?

No. Remote-controlled.

Stretch, we got more company.

SUZY: Is there a convention in town?

JOHNNY: A haunted armor convention?

Okay, I hate ghosts.

BEN: This is just not my day.

Autopilot, on.

Johnny, Susan, cover me. I'll be right back.

Yeah, sure. Take your time.

Reed! One's coming after you.

Did you not hear the "Cover me" part?

Just a couple more seconds.

Guys, what's going on?

COMPUTER: Reboot in progress. Retreat.

And that is how you deal
with haunted armor.

SUZY: Reed, what was...

Electromagnetic pulse,

tuned specifically to the energy signature
of the armors.

It should have shut them down,
but Stark's armor is impressive.

So, Tony Stark. Not one
of our biggest fans, I'm thinking?

There's only one way to find out.
We've got a meeting to go to.

Meeting? No one told me anything
about a meeting.

HERBIE: Johnny?
JOHNNY: What's up, HERBS?

I trust you.
You always give me such good advice.

Tell me more.

Dr. Richards is going to replace me,
I know it.

I have to prove to him that I'm still a good
computer, but I don't know how.

Can you help me?

HERBIE, you came to
exactly the right person.

Have you thought about redecorating
Reed's lab? I know he'd like it.

Really?

Sure. Try something in a flame motif.

Wow! Thanks, Johnny. Good tip.

Well, what can I say?
Profits are up, orders are through the roof

and our aerospace division
is charting record...

Okay. Meeting adjourned.

Please, come right in.

Though, you know, this is a very high-tech
building. We have things called doors.

So, welcome to Stark Enterprises.

To what do I owe the honor?

You can start by explaining why you
sent your Iron Men to attack us.

[SCOFFS]

You know, you had me going
for a moment there.

No, really. Why are you here?

No, this is no joke, Mr. Stark.

Are you...
Hey, is that a diamond chandelier?

I'm very serious, Stark.

I can see that.

You know, if you ever need a relaxing
vacation, let me know.

I own several tropical islands.

Don't change the subject, Richie Rich.
You know you attacked us.

Yeah, 'fess up.
And tell me more about those islands.

Your pursuit of money
is a waste of your genius, Stark.

Were you testing your armor against us?

Trying to impress your stockholders?

Look, Dr. Richards,
I have no doubt that you were attacked,

but it's just not possible
that the Iron Man armor attacked you.

It's under the tightest security
on the planet.

- Prove it.
- And you're out of sprinkles.

That was a lot of doors.

STARK: Even a certified
genius like Mr. Fantastic here

would have a hard time getting in.

[YAWNS]

[SIGHING]

Huh? This is impossible.

[ALARM BLARING]

REED: You mentioned genius before.

Well, a genius is exactly
what you're dealing with.

His name is Dr. Doom.

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

We're still alive. How?

Well, that's useful.

Susan, isn't it?

You know, if you're ever in the market
for a new job, you just let me know.

You know, you're pretty calm for someone
who almost got deep-fried.

It's just another day at the office for you?

You'd be surprised.

The support beams are destabilizing.
This building is going to collapse.

Thousands of people working here.

[GRUNTING]

What, is this building
about 100 stories tall?

I might need a hand here.

It feels like 110 stories.

Stark, you need to evacuate
your employees.

Well, he got half of it right.

Come on, we've got welding to do.

My nose itches.

Need a hand?

Reed, we've got a problem.

[SHRIEKING]

Ghost armor!

Don't think I can't take you out and hold
up this building... 'Cause I can!

We're ready this time, Spooky.

Okay, look. One, I'm not a ghost.

Two, if you want to fight,
may I suggest we save the day first?

- Iron Man, I presume.
- Welcome to Stark Enterprises.

So you're a friendly ghost?

[SUZY GRUNTING]

Can we chitchat later? Please?

With the bracing we put in place,

the building should hold
until it can be properly repaired.

I agree.
Mr. Stark thanks you for your assistance.

Yeah, I'm sure he would have thanked us
himself, but he was too busy running.

You tell your boss not to worry, Iron Dude,

we'll get his toys back
from big, scary Doom.

You misunderstand me.
Your assistance is no longer required.

I'll take care of this Doom character.

He stole Tony Stark's property.

He's Iron Man's problem.

Yeah, right. I'd like to see that.

Yeah, you do that, Buckethead,
you just go take care of Doom.

Honestly, Iron Man, you should let us help.
We've dealt with Doom before.

REED: You're just as arrogant as Stark.

It must be something he values
in his employees.

I'll be just fine on my own.

JOHNNY: Hey, go take care of Mole Man
while you're at it.

We can't just let him go, Reed.

Of course not. No doubt Doom is
expecting both Iron Man and us.

And while Stark's Iron Man armor
is quite capable,

no one knows Doom better than we do.

Wait, wait. So we're going?
I thought Iron Guy was handling this.

REED: HERBIE, I need you
to track Iron Man's position.

HERBIE? Hello?

Maybe you should ask
your new computer for help.

- HERBIE, what are you talking about?
- Oh, like you don't know.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some packing to do.

Are you two fighting? How cute!

Thank you, Susan.

It doesn't matter. There's only one place
Iron Man could be going.

HERBIE: How was that?

Perfect, and next time, tell him
you're leaving, that you quit.

Make him realize how much he needs you.

HERBIE: You're so wise, Jonathan.

I told you to leave this to me.

Easy, Iron Chef, I'm sure you've totally
got this covered.

Oh, except for that guy sh**ting at you.
And that guy.

Yeah, Shellhead. You're doing so good
getting blasted up there,

maybe I'll just take a little nap.

I don't need your help. This is Iron Man
tech. I know it inside and out.

And only I can stop it.

Wow, you weren't kidding.

No, it wasn't me.

Indeed, it wasn't.

Iron Man. How charming.

Your employer's armor is adequate.

Dude, double armor.

That's got to be heavy.
How do you even walk around in that?

I have claimed this technology.

Leave now or be destroyed.

You chose poorly.

I see Stark saved his best
suit of armor for you.

But there is no technology
that I cannot master.

Now, what shall I do with you?

I know.

I can't stop it.

He's got control of my suit.

Destroy the Fantastic Four.

Nothing's ever easy, is it?

- Hey!
- I can't control the armor.

You have to get away. Run!

"Run" ain't in my vocabulary.

Okay. Try to get out of that.

Ben!

- He got out.
- Shut up.

Ben! Watch out! He's firing the unibeam.

The what?

Stop fighting, please.
I don't want to hurt you.

Sorry, Shellhead, but Ben Grimm
don't lay down for no one.

Iron Man, listen to me.
We need to access your mainframe.

Reed, just get out of here. I'll handle this.

Richards, you fool.
You're making this too easy.

JOHNNY: Make up your mind. Up or down?

Susan, I need you up here.

Ben, Johnny, distract Victor while I work.

What's the magic word?

Being part of a team
does have its advantages, Tony.

If we work together, we can stop Doom.

What? How did you...

Of course you're Iron Man.
Who else could it be?

Now, can you access your armor's
mainframe remotely, or not?

Yes, but you need 100 supercomputer
shifts to get through the encryptions.

Not a problem. HERBIE, I need you
to access the Stark mainframe.

- HERBIE?
- HERBIE: I'm not speaking to you.

[DOOM LAUGHING]

Doom, we missed you.

Missed clobbering you, that is.

Do you really think the two of you
have a chance against my terrible power?

Oh, your terrible power!

And all this time, we thought we were
fighting your terrible smell.

HERBIE, I am not going to replace you.

I'm going to give you an upgrade.
You'll still be you, just better.

Hmm... Let me think about it.

REED: HERBIE.

[REED GROANING]

HERBIE: Johnny, Dr. Richards says...

JOHNNY: Just help him, HERBIE.

HERBIE...

Okay, I'll do it. Accessing Iron Man
mainframe. Accessing...

Accessing... Systems overloading.
Encryption is too much.

Overloading. No, I won't...
I won't let you down.

- HERBIE.
- Overloading... Overloading...

Access... Access... Granted.

HERBIE?

He did it. I can't believe it.
I have control of the armor.

HERBIE?

Hey, if you guys ain't busy,
we could use a hand down here.

Iron Man, wait.
With your technology merged with his,

Doom may be too powerful.
We need a plan.

Any suggestions?

[JOHNNY SCREAMING]

You would be wise to stay down, monster.

No one ever accused me of being wise.

Doom, get away from him.

[LAUGHING]

Such bravado.

Do you not see, Richards? The end is here.

SUZY: He does like his dramatic entrances.

[IRON MAN AND DOOM GROANING]

I offered you a chance for survival.

Sorry, Doom,
I'm a little more ambitious than that.

None may touch Doom.

I did more than touch, Doom,

but don't blame me. It was Reed's idea.

Overloading Doom's iron armor
may have been my idea,

but you definitely did it.
I take no responsibility.

DOOM: What?

Your armor is going to self-destruct,
Victor. You may want to take it off.

Or not.

[DOOM GROANING]

You have made yourself
a deadly enemy today, Iron Man.

We shall meet again.

But I don't want a deadly enemy.

Yeah, you get used to it.

STARK: Thank you, Reed, and I'm sorry.

I should have accepted your offer to help
in the first place.

REED: Let's call it even.
After all, there are so few of us.

What? Rich, handsome geniuses?

I actually meant superheroes,
but that works, too.

Well, thanks again.

Hopefully, one day I can return the favor.

BEN: Wait a minute. Stretch is rich?

Reed?

Come on, HERBIE, come on!

[ELECTRONIC STATIC]

Hi, Dr. Richards. Did we win?

We sure did, HERBIE. Thanks to you.

Hooray! Oh, wait. I almost forgot.

What do you think of the lab?
Johnny said you'd like it.

I love it, HERBIE. In fact, I've already
returned the favor to Johnny.

[WHISTLING]

What? My car!

My beautiful car! No!