02x22 - Days of Future Smash

[bunniefuu]

And so it was that Skaar was destined to wear the crown upon a troubled brow.

How did this unlikely tale of woe come to pass? Only I, his chronicler, can tell thee of Quit messing around in there! Uh, how can you even sit on Doom's throne? That's seriously bad mojo.

Ugly chair surprisingly comfy.

You've had enough face time, shaggy.

Now it's my turn.

Speaking of time, Hulk's lost in it, thanks to the Leader who broke into the Latverian Embassy and stole a fancy time machine belt from Doctor Doom's vault.

Whatever ol' superdome alters in the past changes our present, like turning New York into dinosaur city.

Greenie chased Leader into the past to undo the damage.

He fixed the dino thing, so big brain went forward in time a little and took over Asgard.

So, then the Leader turned everyone into vampires, including the Hulk.

That didn't work out so well for him either.

So, now things are all Hulky-dory here in the good old U.

S.

of A.

You see? Look.

Hydra? Sweet Betsy Ross! What is Greenie doing back there? This sure doesn't look like New York.

Hydra? Definitely not New York.

Got a feeling this is World w*r II, Europe.

Better find the Leader fast.

If he tips the balance of power, it's game over for Uncle Sam.

It is.

It's him.

Captain America's as wholesome as they come.

Baseball, apple pie, the whole nine yards.

He's a bit square, but we get along.

Cap, good to see a familiar Hey, knock it off, Cap! We're on the same side.

I don't want to hurt you.

That's a good joke coming from a refugee from the funny papers.

I'll show you funny.

Rogers, listen to me.

Steve.

So you know my name.

What's that supposed to prove? I also know about Professor Erskine and his super soldier serum.

And that you like double pickles and no onions on your burgers.

How do you know that kind of top-secret information? Let's just say I've done some work for Uncle Sam myself.

Well, in that case, I'm sorry I jumped you.

I thought you were another of Hydra's experiments gone wrong.

You're not far off.

So, what's your name? What outfit are you with? Call me Hulk.

The rest is kind of hard to explain.

Army intel thinks there's a Hydra lab in this castle working on replicating the super-soldier serum.

I'm looking for a scientist, too.

Calls himself "The Leader.

" Must be trying to get his hands on that serum.

Then it sounds like we have the same objective.

Destroy the lab and the serum before it falls into the wrong hands.

Intruders! Open fire! Hulk? - Oh, ah! Huh? Took a lot of guts to come here alone, Cap.

Where's the rest of your squad? On other missions.

Or in hospital.

I'm on my own.

Seems like every time I take out a Hydra base, two more spring up in its place.

Take heart, Cap.

You're fighting the good fight.

And now you got me as an ally.

How in blazes did Hydra take over the world? It's like a nightmare.

Yeah, but look how clean everything is.

I mean, this is New York City and there's not even any gum on the sidewalk.

A Hydra society is a prosperous society.

100% employment, 0% crime, and no pesky choices, like elections, that create disharmony.

It is my honor to present a special message from our supreme leader.

Greetings, citizens.

Leader? You've got to be kidding me.

Boy, Hulk sure is taking his time with this mission.

Do you get it? "Time" because of the Because of the time machine? This isn't funny.

Things are getting worse.

I have good news.

The rebel movement has all but been smashed.

Disloyalty will not be tolerated.

All dissidents will be sent to re-education camps before they can be part of our good society.

Our Hydra society.

One, two, three, four, we march till Hydra is no more.

One, two, three, four, we march till Hydra is no more.

It'll take more than a dictator with a king-sized cranium to stamp out freedom in this country.

This is an unlawful assembly.

You're all under arrest.

What happened to free speech? We got to do something.

That wasn't us.

It's Captain America.

Uh, he's a lot older and grayer than I remember.

Doubt this Cap was ever frozen.

Let's give him a hand.

Batter up, boys.

Strike one! Strike two! Strike three! You're out! So, what are you, some kind of crazy Hydra experiment gone wrong? You're not far off.

We're gamma heroes from an alternate timeline.

Your Hydra Supreme Leader is a mad scientist from our present who went into the past to change the future.

It's weird, I know.

Just trust us, Captain Rogers.

We're on the same side.

I've seen plenty of strange stuff since the rise of Hydra.

How'd those Hydra creeps take over the world, anyway? Using a super weapon they developed in World w*r II.

Skaar smash weapon.

Easier said than done.

In all these years, the resistance has never been able to put a dent in it.

That's because you never had a team of Hulks to help you out.

You may be right.

Follow me.

Intel thinks Hydra's developing a secret weapon here powerful enough to stop the Allied invasion.

If D-Day fails, we lose the w*r.

Then we better make a difference.

Working together, I know we can.

There.

Now, let's get in and get out.

This setup looks awful familiar.

It should look familiar, Captain America.

I've recreated Professor Erskine's equipment.

Now Hydra will have its own super soldier.

Red Skull.

And I have made a few improvements to the process that you will find most interesting.

That's gamma energy.

We have to stop this.

Open fire.

I'll take care of the g*ons.

Armor's too strong.

It was gamma that turned me into a Hulk.

Add the super soldier serum to the mix and I give you the Green Skull.

At last you've met your match, Hulk.

You were the product of a much more primitive experiment with gamma energy, but you, my Green Skull, are perfection.

I'm going to enjoy this.

Ah! w*r's over for you, Captain.

Haven't surrendered yet, Skull-face.

Was ist das? Weapons? Cameras.

The fools thought they'd be recording a glorious victory.

Instead, they've captured a bitter defeat.

We will use their cameras to make an example of them.

Indeed.

With you and my gamma-powered super weapon, Hydra will conquer the world.

Mmm.

Seeing all this Hydra junk in the good old U.

S.

A.

makes me sick.

We there yet, Cap? The weapon's based in there.

If we can get to it while its defenses are down, we might be able to destroy it.

Just how big is this thing? When activated, no army has stood against it.

Yeah, Cap.

This is going to be a problem.

The Agents of S.

M.

A.

S.

H.

But the Hulk was never created in this timeline.

Logically, you oafs should not exist.

It's called a paradox, chief.

And I got a pair'a fists that are ready to do some serious smashing.

Skaar slash big wheel.

No, wait! Hmm-mmm.

Ah! Yeah, that hurt.

Ah! Ahhh! How very pathetic.

Oh I'm running low on a*mo.

I haven't been able to get back to base and reload with all this timeline jumping.

Whereas my battle ring has an inexhaustible power supply.

A living gamma battery.

The Leader's gamma-fied the Skull.

He doesn't look like a volunteer.

So all we have to do is take down Leader, and we win this w*r.

The w*r ended years ago, my poor deluded Captain.

Surrender, all of you, and I will spare your miserable lives.

So you can turn us into gamma batteries like Skull-face? Fat chance.

Hulks, make ready for another as*ault.

We can do this.

Now you're talking.

No, forget it.

It's too powerful.

We can't just surrender.

We don't have to go down fighting, either.

Come on.

I hope Hulk is having better luck in the past 'cause we are getting our butts kicked.

Save your brutish strength, Hulk.

You'll need it.

Captain America, the great hero of the Allies.

You will help Hydra win this w*r when you surrender in front of the world.

Ah! You're okay.

Merely a normal side-effect of gamma exposure.

It'll pass.

Hang in there, Cap.

We'll find a way out of this.

It's hopeless.

How can we keep fighting? How can we not? Let's see you do it without your gamma, Hulk.

You're releasing me? Why? You're about to find out, foolish American.

On your feet, Captain Rogers.

Time to pledge your allegiance to Hydra.

Nuts to that.

Oh, you will surrender, or my gamma siphon will destroy the Hulk.

Don't do it, Cap.

Don't give in.

Hail Leader and the Green Skull.

Cap, no! I said it.

Hail Hydra.

Well said, Captain America.

But I am not convinced.

This time, I will broadcast your surrender for all of Europe to hear while you are filmed by your own cameras.

How can you do this? How can I not? Boom! Uh, uh, well These colors never run, Hydra scum.

My hand cannons couldn't even scratch the paint on that overblown Ferris wheel.

I know we can't run forever, but how can we keep fighting? How can we not? There was a moment, a long time ago, when I gave up, and the Leader and Skull built that weapon.

It was only later that I realized, if I didn't stand up for freedom, no one else might.

So I fought on for decades, often alone, to make up for that mistake, and I won't make it again.

Ever.

Excuse me.

I think I got something in my eye.

You feel that? What is that? Aw, I wish it wasn't that.

If you buffoons won't surrender, then you leave me no other choice but to destroy you.

Let's do what we do best.

We have to take out those cannons.

You heard the man.

Shulkie, Skaar, with me.

A-b*mb, you and Cap draw its fire.

Ah! Woo-hoo-hoo! Boom! Ka-boom! Bam! Skaar smash.

Ah! Ahh! That's it.

I'm out of a*mo.

Skaar slash.

That thing's still got half its weapons.

What do we do now? If only we knew someone who could drain its gamma battery.

Yeah, I like the way you think, Shulkie.

Skaar, follow me.

Into the breach, dog boy.

Pitiful.

They just can't see when they're beaten.

Ha! Make sure skinny behaves himself.

Skaar slash if Leader move.

Hold still, ugly.

What are you doing? No! Come on, Skaar.

Let's blow this pop stand.

Fire in the hole! It's your turn, Leader.

That's close enough.

Oh! Hey, Skull-face.

Cap, the siphon! You're coming with me, big brain.

Not while I still have time.

Hmm.

Let him go.

We have work to do here.

The Allies could really use a machine like this to win the w*r.

Think that's a good idea? You're right.

Some weapons are too terrible to ever be built, no matter who controls them.

With Hydra's supreme leader and his w*r machine out of the picture, the fight for freedom just got a whole lot easier.

Thanks, Cap, for reminding us to never give up.

Thanks for reminding me that you don't have to go it alone.

When you're fighting for what's right, other good people will join the cause.

Hey, check it out.

Looks like Greenie managed to fix things back in the past again.

Let's hope he's coming back this time.

I mean, these alternate timelines are cool and all, but right now all I want to do is get back to the city and get a decent hotdog.

Thanks for the morale boost, friend.

So, will I ever see you again? Count on it.

See you in the funny papers, Cap.

It's easy to give up a tough fight when you're going it alone, but having even one ally against big odds can keep you in the game.

Hulk out.