06x07 - Lizard Let Lie

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

Hey, Alice.

If you want me to drive you to school,

I need to borrow some gas money.

No, Auntie Rae's taking me.

Oh, okay, cool.

Can I still borrow some gas money?

All right, Alice. Time to go.

That's what you're wearing
to take me to school?

Yeah. Why wouldn't I?

Oh, your episode of Gettin' Down
with the Gardunkians

is premiering tomorrow.

You're about to be famous.

Oh, is that tomorrow?

I totally forgot.

You forgot you're gonna be

on the biggest reality show on television?

You guys, being famous
is not that big a deal. Okay?

Nothing's going to change.

I'm still regular, old,

home-skillet biscuit Raven Baxter...


Your girl's lit, fit, with a booty
that just don't quit.

There it is.

Come on, you guys. What did you expect?

I'm gonna be famous!

The entire world is gonna see my designs.

Come on, we got to get you to school.

Paparazzi might be waitin'.

Oh, why would they be waitin' for you?

I may have tipped 'em off.

Ooh. Yeah. Oh. Yes. Ow!

[theme music playing]

♪ Ha-ha! Lemme tell ya somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

-♪ But then life had other plans ♪
-♪ Tell 'em, Mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when
things turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

-♪ New city I’m finding my way ♪
-♪ It’s gonna take some time ♪

-♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
-♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya know
that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam
caught up in a crazy world ♪

-♪ C'mon! ♪
-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

-♪ We get loud! ♪
-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough ♪

♪ But together we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other like family should ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
-♪ When it's tough ♪

-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
-♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other
ya know it's our time ♪

[laughing] Yep! That's us!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Ah, what do you know,
another day, another A.

That's actually an A-plus,

but, you know,
that's much harder to rhyme.

Great job on your
English papers, everyone.

You must have one heck of a teacher.

Oh, wait. You do. It's me.

Tomorrow, each one of you
is gonna give a speech.

[stammers] Out loud?

Like, in front of the whole class?

Someone knows what a speech is!

Now, your speech should be about something

that's important to you.

For instance, if I were to give a speech,

I would talk about my pet lizard, Lizzo.

For the record, I named her first.

Can't we just do
another written assignment?

And miss the exhilaration

of standing in front of your entire class,

your vulnerabilities on display,

not knowing whether your peers

are laughing with you or at you?

Tell me that does not sound great.

That does not sound great.

Well, we're doin' it anyway.

♪ ♪

[gasps] Dave.

I've been waiting all morning
for the paparazzi,

and no one showed up!

When I am a famous fashion designer,

people will be begging to take my picture.

[gasps] Like that guy.

You're my first fan.

[phone camera clicking]

Oh, you're a fan of that burger?

Oh, well, for your information,

those buns aren't famous.

But after tomorrow night,

mine will be.

Uh, Dad?

[panting, grunting]

The freezer's broken.

Don't worry, I got
a call out to the repairman.

I'm looking for a Victor Baxter.

I'm the health inspector.

Health inspector?

If they find out the freezer is broken,

they'll shut the restaurant down.

Hi, I'm Victor Baxter. Can I help you?

My name is Tricia.

I'm here for your surprise inspection.

Surprise? Gosh!

[chuckling] I wish
I'd known you were coming.

Then it wouldn't be
much of a surprise, would it?

Well, let's start with the freezer.

Uh... Uh, Tricia, uh, wait.

Um, I was just wondering,

um, how did you get started
being a health inspector?

Oh, that's a long story.

I love long stories.

You do? Since when?

Most men aren't interested
in hearing about my job.

Well, I am not most men.

[giggles]

Well, I-- I guess the inspection can wait.

Take all the time you need.

Raven, can you get us some drinks?

Yeah, she needs drinks, all right.

She thirsty.

♪ ♪

How'd you do on the French quiz?

No bueno.

I think I can see why.

Well, au revoir.

That means goodbye.

-In French.
-Oh.

That's another question I got wrong.

Hey, you guys still coming over tomorrow

for The Gardunkians watch party?
We're having sushi.

Because, apparently,
my family has a giant tuna

they need to get rid of.

Why wouldn't I go to the party
you're throwing me

for my first-ever TV credit
as a production assistant?

You do know the party's not for you--

No, no, no. Just let her have it.

Uh, what's up with you and Zora?

What? Nothing's up. Nothing.

Why? Did you hear something's up?
Did she say something?

Clearly you like her.

Yeah. You should invite her to the party.

You're single now,
and you got all that tuna.

Hey, Zora!

Hey, what're you doing? I'm not ready.

I can't just turn on the swag like--

Hey, girl! How are you livin'?

Hey, Booker. What's up?

Have you ever heard of that show

Gettin' Down with the Gardunkians?

I'm having a little kickback
at the crib tomorrow.

I thought you might wanna roll through.

I don't know. I've never really
watched the show.

Oh, you're gonna love it.

And I don't wanna brag,

but someone from the show

might even be at the party.

No way. Really?

Oh, they'll definitely be there

because the party is at their house.

Cool. I'll be there.

Uh, you guys made it sound like

Booker is gonna be on the show.

No, no, it's fine. Okay?
Just explain the mix-up.

I'm sure she'll still gonna wanna come.

You're right. I'll just go find Zora

and tell her the truth.

[whooshing]

I've never gone out with a TV star before.

♪ ♪

And the truth is I'm a TV star.

♪ ♪

I just had a vision.

Zora only wants to go out with me

because she thinks I'm on The Gardunkians.

She's gonna see the show
and know that you're not.

-Oh. Too bad I'm not a TV star.
-Yeah.

You can't just become
a TV star overnight.

Trust me. I've been in the biz for hours.

Zora's the first girl
I've liked since Cami.

You know, I really want this to work.

Booker, there's no way
you're gonna become a TV star

by tomorrow night.

I have a crazy idea.

You know how I was a production assistant

on Gettin' Down with the Gardunkians?

Yes!

You literally haven't
stopped talking about it.

Well, I can film you
and edit you into the show.

Then we'll feed it to your TV
during the watch party.

It will look like you're in the episode.

And boom! Zora will be dating a TV star.

That's-- That's perfect. Let's do it!

Uhhh, are you sure

you want to start your relationship

-based on a lie?
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's not a lie.

All right? Zora assumed I was in the show,

and now I'm going to be in the show.

All I'm hearing is truth.

I wanna believe you. So I will.

♪ ♪

Wow! That Tricia can talk.

You've been listening

to the health inspector's life story

this whole time?

Gave me a chance to practice

my active listening faces.

Wow!

No kidding!

And my personal favorite.

This is something I care about.

[gasps]

That's the same face you gave me

when I was telling you
about my dream this morning!

But it was worth it.

Tricia has to come back tomorrow

to do the inspection.

Oh, well, look at you!

Turning on the Baxter charm!

Yep. I got a whole day
to get the freezer fixed.

You know, Pop-Pop,

if you want I could miss school tomorrow

and help you fix the freezer.

I mean, I'd have to miss my speech,

but I'd do it.

You know, family comes first.

You know what this is?

This is my "Girl, please,
I was not born yesterday" face.

[Raven laughing]

♪ ♪

I am so excited to hear your speeches.

Okay, Alice, you're first up. Come on up.

I, uh...

Miss Liza, are you sure

you don't want to tell us
more about your pet lizard?

Okay. First of all, not a pet.

Lizzo is my everything.

And if I started talking about her,

I don't think I'd have time
to hear your speech.

Well, let's find out!

Ha! Nice try. Get up here, kiddo.

Uh, my speech is about...

[yawning]

Uh...

Miss Liza, uh, I've been meaning to ask,

have you ever thought
about having more lizards?

I mean, you're young,
and I'm assuming single.

What's your sudden interest in lizards?

Do you have one?

I wanna say yes.

Oh, no.

Did something happen to your lizard?

-I don't have a lizard.
-Anymore?

He died, didn't he?

Oh, if something happened to my Lizzo,

I don't know what I would do.

I'd just be so devastated,

I wouldn't be able to speak.

I, um...

No, no, shh. No.

No need to say anything.

Just go back to your seat.

Class, can we take a moment of silence

to recognize...

I'm sorry. What was his name?

Uh, his name was...

Chameleon...

Ardo DiCaprio.

Chameleon-ardo DiCaprio.

Yeah. That was the name of my lizard

that doesn't exist. Anymore.

♪ ♪

I've hidden cameras on all the mannequins.

We'll record you talking to your mom
about the dress,

then I'll patch the footage
into The Gardunkians episode

at the watch party tonight.

And Zora will think
she's dating a TV star.

-Okay.
-[beeps]

Cameras are rolling.

Cool. I'll go home and get my mom.

Maybe do some push-ups.

What? I got to make sure
my costars are poppin'.

Pop! Pop!

Come on, Neil. We can watch the feed
downstairs on my laptop.

[gasps]

[squeals] I'm gonna look
so good at that watch party

that the party's going to be watching me!

Oh, no.

The paparazzi!

Stop. How did you get past my security?

You must really want
a picture of Raven Baxter.

Who am I wearing?

Only the hottest new fashion designer.

That's right, baby. Me!

You know,

I was only pretending
to be Nikki's assistant.

[chuckling] Yeah.

Well, it's called acting, sweetheart.

And I am good at it.

Oh, Giovanni, you're such a flirt! Stop!

[laughing]

Neil, can you believe this?

I know.

They just met!

That Giovanni moves fast.

Ah! Oh, my!

[gasps] Oh, don't look now, sweetheart.

It's my ex.

He is very rich but very jealous.

Giovanni, stop.

No, Jean-Pierre. Don't come any closer!

Stop doing it. No!

No! Stop it!

Leave him alone!

It's you-- No, it's you-- It's you--

Oh, it's always been you.

Hey. You guys, I couldn't
find my mom anywhere.

Unfortunately, we found her.

What am I looking at?

Possibly your new stepdaddy.

[Raven exhales]

See y'all kids at the watch party, okay?

-Yep.
-See you there.

Uh-- I can't even look at her.

♪ ♪

This better do the trick.

Health inspector will be here any minute.

Okay. Fuse replaced.

Relax. I know what I'm doing.

[scoffs] Who's the man?

[electricity sparking]

[power goes out]

Apparently, I am not the man.

Okay, look, I need you
to find some flashlights and candles.

I'll deal with the customers.

Unfortunately, we're having
a little power outage.

Just one of those things that happens.

No one knows why.

So you're all gonna have to go home,

but your meal is on the house.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, uh, Victor.

You didn't have
to shut down the restaurant

for the inspection.

Uh, to be honest,

[chuckles] that's not why I shut it down.

Ohhh, oh-h*!

I see what's goin' on here.

No, no, no, no, no, no.
You don't understand.

See, there was a spark.

TRICIA: I know.

I felt it too.

You didn't want me to come back
for the inspection.

You wanted to have dinner with me.

Oh, so what are you serving?

Besides romance?

It's a surprise!

[softly] For both of us.

♪ ♪

Well, that's the last of the tuna,

unless somebody wants to gnaw on the tail.

-[phone dings]
-[squeals]


And Zora knows I'm a fake.

We never filmed that scene.

There's no way to put me in the show.

Okay, everybody, before the show starts,

I need you to silence your phones,

finish your crunchy snacks,

and if you have to go to the bathroom,

speak now or forever hold your pee.

What am I going to do?

You could try just telling the truth.

-Or--
-Ooh, I-- I like an or.

I'll hack into the TV during the show

and stream a live feed of you
talking straight to camera.

It'll be just like
a Gardunkian confessional

without all the runny mascara
and the swear words.

Ivy, you can do that?

I just need time to set it up.

-[knock on door]
-Oh, great.

Well, the party doesn't start
for another 15 minutes,

so that should give you
plenty of time before--

Zora's here!

And she's early!

Isn't that fun?

Hey, everyone, Zora's here early!

[softly] I'm so dead.

♪ ♪

Sorry, I'm early. [chuckles]

I could walk around the block a few times.

Really? That would be perfect.

Oh! Booker, who's this?

Uh, this is Zora.

She's a girl from school.

Who is in no way
related to Principal Rivera.

Ooh, I like her already.

Girl, get in here and get you some tuna.

Hey, you guys, look, I'll distract Zora.

You get everything set up, okay?

Hey, Zora, have you ever seen a fridge

that can make
three different types of ice?

It's crazy!

[doorbell rings]

-I'll get it.
-RAVEN: Okay.

Oh, hi! Hi, welcome in.

Of course. Great to see you.

Hey! [chuckles]

I don't know any of these people.

-Hi, Alice.
-Miss Liza!

What're you doing here?

Lizzo made you a casserole
to cheer you up.

Don't worry. It's for humans. So no bugs.


That is so nice of Lizzo.

Well, you should probably get going.

Oh, Alice, why is your teacher here?

Hi, Miss Baxter.

I'm just here to show my support.

I told her about your TV debut.

You know how it is. Once you're famous,

every rando with a casserole
comes out of the woodwork.

It was such a shock.

I had no idea any of this was going on.

I know. It just happened so fast.

We're just really excited.

Uh-- Excited?

That poor Chameleon-ardo's
suffering is over.

You know, it--
it's been hard on all of us.

Okay, everybody, come on in.
The party's about to start.

Wha-- You're having a-- a party?

Chameleon-ardo wanted us
to focus on the good times!

Yeah, well, unfortunately,
Miss Liza can't stay.

She's got a lizard at home to get back to.

A lizard?

Yeah, well, give her
an extra squeeze for me.

-I sure will. My condolences--
-Okay, of course, yeah.

Alice, is there a reason

you do not want me
to talk to your teacher?

Uh...

-Auntie Rae, look, you're on TV!
-[gasps]

ANNOUNCER: Tonight on
Gettin' Down with the Gardunkians...

Everybody, be quiet! I'm on TV!

Wow, Miss Baxter, you look great!

Neil, she just said, "Be quiet."

Ivy, I'll allow it.

♪ ♪

Victor, I haven't had
a dinner this romantic

in a long time.

Uh-huh. I wouldn't call it romantic.

Just two people sharing pasta
in a poorly lit restaurant.

Mm, no, I can't do this.

I'm a happily married man.

Tricia, I'm sorry I wasn't
being honest with you.

But when you came here,
the freezer was broken,

the lights were out, and you thought...

And I let you think...

And what was I thinking?

I kind of wish
I hadn't told my mom about you.

But that's on me.

I'm sorry.

Well, maybe I got
a little carried away too.

-Friends.
-Ah.

I think maybe we should
keep it professional.

-Deal.
-So...

That's a violation on the broken freezer,

open flame,

and this extra-long spaghetti

is a choking hazard!

I... Take it back!

Wh-- What are you doing next Thursday?

Little behind-the-scenes
nugget for everyone.

That tan that Greta said
she got in the Bahamas?

Faker than her lips.

I can't believe the whole world
is gonna see your designs.

This is exciting! You're gonna be on TV.

Yep. Yep. I'm gonna be on that TV.

[softly] Hey.

The confessional
is all set up in the closet.

You go in there,
and I'll feed it to the TV.

Okay.

Hey, Zora, I can't help but notice
your ice has melted.

Let me freshen that up for you.

[Raven continues talking indistinctly]

Hey. It's showtime.

You distract Miss Baxter.
I'll handle the rest.

Okay.

[Neil clears throat, chuckles]

My lady.

Uh, can I get a selfie with you

now that you're a celebrity?

[scoffs] Anything for my Ravenettes.

Huh?

It's what I'm calling my fans now.

-I'll take it for you.
-Oh, thank you!

Being the son of the assistant
to a fashion designer

is... No joke.

Hey. Hey, she missed it.

You gotta do it again.

-[exhales] Are you serious?
-Yeah, go.

This is a great party, Miss Baxter.

Is there anything I can help you with?

[gasps] Not related to Alana, and polite?

I like you!

Oh, Booker didn't take your coat.

For the record, he gets his rudeness
from his daddy's side.

Uh... Ivy.

Not now! We're live streaming.

When my mom said she was gonna meet
Greta Gardunkian,

I was like--

-Mom!
-Booker?

Mom!

Booker?

Booker, why are you in the closet?

Boy, where are my coats?

Are you streaming live to the TV

to make it seem like you're in the show?

We've been compromised. Let's go!

I thought you wanted to see your credit.

I also want to live to see tomorrow.

Zora, I can explain.

I can't believe you lied to me.

I can't believe
he lied to you either, girl.

You know what?
Come back anytime. Lots of tuna.

Start talking.

Zora thought I was gonna be on the show,

so I let her believe it so she'd like me.

Booker, you lied?

Technically, he didn't.

He just let her believe
what she wanted to believe

to get what he wanted.

Girl, you know that's lying.

Where'd you learn
something like that, anyway?

Yep. Nikki's a great boss.
I am one lucky assistant.

I heard it.

♪ ♪

What's going on?

The class and I wanted

to give Chameleon-ardo a proper funeral.

Okay, I did.

But I'm the teacher,
so I'm making them do it.

And you...

Are doing the eulogy.

Oh, no.

[exhales]

Chameleon-ardo was... An amazing lizard.

He was a... A quiet lizard.

So quiet, it was like he never existed.

Because he didn't.

[class gasps]

I was so nervous about giving my speech

that when you assumed
Chameleon-ardo died, I just--

I-- I went along with it.

While I believe that what I did
is still in a morally gray area,

it's been brought to my attention

that it's still a lie.

I-- I should've just faced my fear.

I'd like to apologize to you,

my classmates,

and lizards everywhere.

Okay, now you're just kissing up.

-Is it working?
-A little bit.

Alice, I have one thing to say to you.

You just gave your first speech.

I did? [gasps] I did! I did! How did I do?

-A-plus...
-Yes!

...For honesty. Speech gets a C.

I deserve that.

♪ ♪

Hey. Zora, wait up.

Can we talk about yesterday?

Is this the real Booker?

Or are you hiding in your locker,

live streaming this to my eyeballs?

[chuckling] Girl, that's crazy!

The lighting in my locker is terrible.

No, I-- I'm sorry about
what happened at the party.

It's just-- I've been wanting
to ask you out for a while,

but I thought you'd only say yes

if you thought I was a TV star.

Where did you get that idea?

I don't know.

It just kind of popped in my head.

Can we start over again?

I guess you can walk me to class.

You know, I've never gone out
with a TV star before.

So how do we schedule a date?

Do your people call my people?

You're never gonna let me
live this down, are you?

No, I am not.

♪ ♪

Well, I told the truth.

And got my first C.

Me too.

Well, I came clean

to the producers of The Gardunkians.

And I told them
that Nikki is the assistant

and I am the designer.

So I guess they said

they don't want you on the show anymore.

No, they don't.

But they're giving me my own show!

You guys, I'm about to be famous!

[knock on door]

[doorbell rings]

Oh, snap! It's paparazzi!

Uh... Huh, take it in, boys.

Get it from me. Oh, yes!

Right there. Get it.

[laughing]