06x03 - Sold to the Highest Fibber

[bunniefuu]

[gasps] Dad, I'm so excited
you're coming home

in a couple of days!

I've been away
in London so long,

I am anxious to get back home

and back to my baby.

Oh, Dad, you missed me!

Wait a minute.

You're talking about
the Chill Grill, aren't you?

No! No, no, I wasn't.
[laughs]

Okay, I was.
How'd you know?

'Cause you can't fool me.

I can't get got, Dad.
Come on.

Okay, Auntie Rae.
I'm all ready for camp.

Oh, excuse me, Dad. I got a little girl
in here who thinks she's slick.

-Nice jacket.
-This old thing?

No, no. That new thing under
"this old thing." Gimme that.

Now, I made that jacket for you
for your first day of school.

[scoffs] But I wanna wear it
to science camp!

Do you know how hard it is
to look cool in a lab coat?

Let's just say there's a reason they don't
call him Bill Nye the Fashion Guy.

Don't bring him into this.

And you thought it was better
to trick me than to ask me?

Uh, Rae?
In her defense...

that is the way
we do things in this family.

Fine. Can I wear the jacket
to science camp?

See? That's better.

No. Take it off
before you mess it up.

See, Dad? [laughs]

I can't get got.
I'm the best.

I'm the Can't Get Got GOAT.

Please. You're not the GOAT.
I'm the GOAT.

Ooh! I remember that time
that I caught you

and Chelsea and Eddie
with a case--

Whoa! Bad connection!

A case of what, Auntie Rae?

A case of mind your business, girl.
Mind your business.

Hey, Mom. I'm about to take
Alice to science camp.

-We'll be back later.
-Alright.

Don't you need to use
the potty first?

Oh, I already went.

I was talking to Booker.

[laughs] Mom, I'm gonna be
in college next year.

I'm practically an adult.

I don't need you to remind me
to go to the bathroom.

[scoffs] Okay. My bad.
My bad, young man.

What you do with
your bladder is your business.

Thank you. Come on,
Alice, let's go.

-Bye
-Bye, you guys! Love you! Be safe!

-See you, Mom.
-Okay. [giggles]

Ooh!

Let me guess.
The potty.

Yeah.

[theme music playing]

♪ Ha, ha!
Lemme tell ya somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision
all worked out ♪

♪ But then life
had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

-♪ New city, I'm finding my way ♪
-♪ It's gonna take some time ♪

-♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
-♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam
caught up in a crazy world ♪

-♪ C'mon! ♪
-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

-♪ We get loud! ♪
-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but together
we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
-♪ When it's tough ♪

-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
-♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cos no matter the weather,
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

[Raven laughing]

Yep! That's us.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hey, Alice, hurry up, or you're gonna
be late for your last day at camp!

I'm ready!

[shivers] Aren't you cold?

No. It feels fine to me.

It's probably because
you've got all those muscles

to keep you warm.

[laughs]

That might got somethin'
to do with it.

Wait. Why are you
complimenting me?

What do you want?

This is the last chance to
wear my new jacket to camp.

I thought my mom made that
for you to wear to school.

She did, but I'm cold.

And if I get sick,
I'll miss the first day.

Maybe even the first week.

Then I'll get behind, struggle
to try to get caught up,

and wind up dropping out.

All because I went jacketless.

Lemme call my mom and ask.

But, Booker!
You said it yourself.

You're practically an adult now.

Well, adults make
their own decisions.

We do, don't we?

I'm the kid.

I have to get permission
to do things from an adult.

And, uh, you're
the only adult here.

I am, aren't I?

So...

I, as the adult,

give you permission
to wear your jacket.

Thanks, Booker.

Hey!

Hey, you kids, get off my lawn!

Oh, man. I am an adult.

♪ ♪

Hey, Neil, thanks for
filling in on deliveries

while Dave is at jury duty.

Did you ever notice
Dave gets jury duty

every time
Harry Styles is in town?

You know what that means, right?

Yeah.
He's missing a great concert.

No. That means
Lazlo's gettin' got.

Wouldn't happen on my watch.

I choose to trust, Raven.
Plus,

I love all
the Harry Styles merch

Dave brings me
after every trial.

Okay! Here you go, Neil.
Room 720,

[fancy accent]:
the Filtmore Hotel.

[phone ringing]

Oh! Hey, Dad.

Oh, is that Mr. B?

I just said, "Hey, Dad."

-Is everything okay?
-It's better than okay!

I've been thinking
about this a lot.

I'm staying in London, and
I'm selling the Chill Grill!

-You're what?
-You're what?

So...

Am I still making
this delivery, or...

♪ ♪

Chill Grill delivery!

[sighs]

Mr. Baxter?!

Neil! Get in here.

Wait, wait, wait.

How can you be here when you're supposed
to be in London?

Yesterday, Raven was bragging
about how she can't get got,

so I came back early,
so I could get her.

But, I just saw you.
You were in London.

Technology, junior!

Can you dig it?

Who's Junior,
and what's he diggin'?

Focus, Neil.

S-So, you're not
selling the Chill Grill?

Of course not!

Raven thinks she's
the Can't Get Got GOAT,

but, hm, I'm
the Can't Get Got GOAT.

So, what did she do
when I hung up?

I don't know. I didn't see.

I had to leave
to make this delivery.

No, no, you gotta go back.
But you can't tell her I'm here.

Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not good with secrets.

I mean, what if Miss Baxter
asked if I saw you?

-Why would she ask?
-Because I might tell her.

-Why would you tell?
-Because I'm not good with secrets!

Are you not listening?

Neil, you can do this.

I believe in you.

[Neil sighs]

[sighs] Alright. I'll do it.

Neil!

♪ ♪

BOOKER:
Hey, Alice, how was camp?

Not great!

Your new jacket!
Why is it covered in paint?

How was I supposed to know they were
gonna play paintball?

It's a science camp!

I blame the system.

[laughs] When my mama sees
this, you gon' get it!

[scoffs] Yeah. Me and whoever
let me wear it.

Yeah. [laughs] Wait.

I let you wear it.

We gon' get it!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

What are we gonna do?
My mom's gonna k*ll us!

Oh, wait! No, I know!
I can soak it in paint thinner

and wash it until
all the stains come out.

Okay, but if that doesn't work,

I can tell her you forced me
to wear the jacket.

And even though I thought
it was a bad idea,

I respected your authority
as an adult,

and this happened.

Then, I'd still get in trouble.

I'm not seeing a problem here.

Did it work? Is it clean?

Yep. The paint stains are gone.

Yes! [laughs]

But we have a new problem.

This is worse than before.

It's fine!
I can squeeze into it.

I'm gonna make it work.

Alice.

You're better than this.

We're not giving up.

I know! I've seen my mom
make lots of jackets.

She always writes detailed
instructions on the patterns.

We'll just sneak into her studio,
get the stuff we need,

bring it back home,
and make a new one!

You're gonna make a jacket?

How hard can it be?
It's just a vest with sleeves.

So you can make a vest?

[laughs]

No one wears vests,
Alice. Come on.

♪ ♪

Okay, Neil, you got this.

You can keep a secret.
Just don't say anything.

Oh, hey, Neil.
How was the delivery?

Okay, fine! I'll tell you!

Mr. Baxter is not
in London, okay?

He's in a hotel downtown

talking nonsense about goats
and asking me if I can dig it!

Why would he do that?

I know what's going on.

He thinks he's
the Can't Get Got GOAT.

He's not selling
the Chill Grill.

He's just trying to get me!
I knew it!

Uh, no, you didn't.

You said we were going in on
a bed and breakfast together.

Well, sorry, Lazlo,

but the Raven's Nest
is not happening.

W-- I thought we were
calling it the Lazlo's Nest.

You know that makes
no sense, right?

Oh.

I can't believe my dad
was trying to get me.

I'm Raven Baxter.
Nothing gets past me.

Got eyes in the back of my head.

I can see and hear all!

-I'm gonna call my daddy right now.
-No, no, no, no, no!

Because then he'll know
that I caved!

I can't let my dad
think he got me.

[whooshing]

[echoing]: I am here to pretend to buy
the Chill Grill...

[whooshing]

[gasps]

Change of plans.
I'm not confronting my dad.

It's too easy.

And we don't want to do easy?

Of course, we don't.
[soft laugh]

Let me ask you a question.

What does my dad love
more than anything?

Besides me.

-Ah. Rib tips and onions.
-No.

Well...

Yeah...

But, no.

I'm talking about
the Chill Grill.

We're gonna sell it
before he does.

[gasps] And use that money
for our B and B!

Get over it, Lazlo!

No, no, no. We're gonna have
a fake auction tonight

and sell the Chill Grill
to a stranger.

[laughs] But,
the stranger will be you.

Ooh, me in disguise?
Lazlo likey.

Less of a disguise,
more of a hat.

[laughs] I'll make it work!

My dad will have no choice
but to come down here,

stop the sale,

and then he'll know he got got

by the Can't Get Got GOAT. Ah!

Oh. But how's Mr. B gonna
find out about the auction?

Why are you two
looking at me like that?

♪ ♪

Okay, the pattern has
to be here somewhere.

My mom is really organized.

Yeah, but Nikki isn't.

Hey, Alice,
why was it so important

for you to wear
that jacket to camp anyway?

I don't know.
I just wanted to feel cool.

You don't need a jacket
for that.

Easy for you to say.
You've always been cool.

[laughs]

You would not be saying that
if you knew me in middle school.

Really? What happened?

Nia.

She has Mom's sense of style.

And she said something to me
that I'll never forget.

"You're not going nowhere
with me lookin' like that."

I knew I should have called Nia!

No, no, no, no, no.
You got me, alright?

And I'm gonna help you.

Now, let's find that pattern
and get your jacket.

-I found it!
-Great.

Now, I'm gonna grab
the sewing machine,

and we can get outta here.

[clears throat]

-[creaking]
-[straining]

[Alice laughs]

Guess those muscles
are just for show.

We'll have to stay here
and make it.

With Auntie Rae downstairs?

Okay, you keep an eye out,

but we'll need a phrase
to say if you see my mom.

Hey, Auntie Rae!

Oh...

"Hey, Auntie Rae"
is the warning.

Yeah, it works.

♪ ♪

What?

How can they sell
my Chill Grill?

I love that place more than
I love rib tips and onions!

What's that daughter
of mine up to?

Eh, I don't know.

Okay! I know!

Alright, they're not
really selling it, okay?

They just want you to think
that they're selling it

so you'll have to go down there!

So she can get me!
How does she know I'm here?

Obviously, I told her.

-I gotta put a stop to this.
-Oh, thank goodness.

You're gonna sit down
and talk to Miss Baxter?

No. I'm gonna beat her
at her own game.

I'm gonna send somebody
down there to outbid Lazlo,

so Raven thinks she sold
the Chill Grill for real.

Ha, ha!
Oh, who you gonna send?

I know that look.

♪ ♪

-[sewing machine whirring]
-Hey, Alice, quick question.

Do you need this jacket
to go from day to night?

I'm 10.
My night look is jammies.

Can you hurry up?

Don't worry. I'm almost done.
Just a few more stitches.

RAVEN: Yeah, Lazlo! The fedora's in
the loft! I'll be right back!

It's Auntie Rae!
Quick, hide! Hide!

What are you doing here?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

What are you doing
in the loft, Booker?

[nervous laugh]

I-I'm up here, uh...
I'm up here sewing.

[happy squeal]

[gasps]

My baby's following in his
mama's fashion footsteps!

-[crying]
-Yep, yep, yep. [nervous laugh]

I got the fashion bug real bad.

Needle, thread, all that.

[Raven laughs]

Oh! I knew this day would come.

Yeah, no, I'm just up here,
sewing my troubles away.

Oh, been there.

When life gets you down,
make a gown.

Anyway, I have
so many scrap fabrics

in the closet that you could
use to practice with!

-Wait, Mom! No, don't!
-What? It's right here.

Look at this! Cotton!

Ooh! Raw silk!

And a little bit of linen.
Oh, and look at this!

Look at this! Gold... lamé.

[laughs]

Mom, didn't you come up
here for a reason?

Oh, you right. You right.
Let me get that fedora.

-Ah!
-[door creaks]

I can see it now, you know?
Raven and Son. [laughs]

Don't sew your fingers together.

Wait, wait. That's a thing?

Oh, yeah.

Done it multiple times.
Very scary. Be careful, okay?

[Alice struggling]

Booker! Get me down!

[crack, smash]

Never mind!

♪ ♪

[quiet chatter]

Psst! Psst!

Remember, you can't
let Lazlo outbid us.

No matter what, you have to win.

I won't let you down.
I mean, I probably will,

but I'm gonna try
really hard not to.

[gasps] Ooh. The wannabe GOAT
is in the building.

Lazlo is in position.
Game on.

Hello, everyone!
Good evening and welcome.

Thank you so much
for coming tonight to bid

on this historical landmark.

Shall we get started?
I think we shall.

Let's start the bidding
at $2 million.

Do I hear $2 million?

[rapid auctioneering]

Oh! Two million in the corner

by the distinguished gentleman
in the fedora.

[laughs] Two million going once,
going twice...

Two million and one!

Two million and one?
Who said that?

Okay, uh, well, heh,

I'm sure that there's someone

who wants to bid
two million and two.

Sir? I mean--

Somebody bid
two million-- Really?

Oh! I see three fingers!
That must mean $3 million.

Three million going once,
going twice--

$3,000,001!

For the love of... Listen!

I know that my man in the corner
doesn't wanna be outbid.

Fedora Man! Don't you wanna
say three million and two?

Please. You gotta say it.

[sighs] Really?

[high voice]: You're supposed
to say, "Going once!"

[mocking]:
I know what I'm supposed to say.

Five million! Five million
to the man in the corner!

Five million going once,
going twice--

$5,000,001!

What in the actual what?!

♪ ♪

Handsome...

and can sew a jacket?

Just when you think
you can't be more of a catch.

Hey, Alice! Check it out.

[gasps] Wow!
Booker, you did it!

I'm just as surprised
as you are.

Now, all we have to do
is sneak this thing home

before Auntie Rae finds out what
happened to the other jacket.

[sighs] Thank you.

Ah... How do I look?

Cool. Just like your cousin.

Oh, you mean Nia?
Thanks.

-You know that's not what I meant.
-[giggles]

♪ ♪

Neil, what are you doing?
You have to outbid Lazlo.

[sighs] I'm sorry, Mr. B,

but $5 million
is a lot of money.

I mean, are you sure
this place is worth it?

When's the last time
you had it appraised?

It's not real money.

[gasps] Six million!

-Six million--
-No! Six million going once, going twice,

Sold to Laz-- I mean, uh,
the man in the fedora.

To be fair, I did warn you

that I might let you down.

[fake gasp] Dad?

Is that you?

Raven, you know it's me.

You just said "Dad."

[giggles] Well,
you'll be happy to know

that I sold the Chill Grill
just like you wanted. But,

still, you came down here
to stop it because...

you got got! Ah!

You wasted all this time
setting up a fake auction,

but I figured it out.

So, you got got!

Raven! Sorry, I'm late!

I am here to pretend
to buy the Chill Grill.

But, if that's Lazlo,
then who is that?

LAZLO: Huh.

I don't know,
but he is stunning.

Rae...

You just sold
the Chill Grill for real.

Yeah. I got myself.

I'm good.

-You have to fix this.
-You right, you right, you right.

Hi, sir. Excuse me. Um...

Listen, there has been
a terrible misunderstanding.

We are not selling
the Chill Grill. Actually,

we were selling the Chill Grill,
but we're not really

because we were playing
a prank on each other.

It's our love language.

[laughs] Sir? Sir?

Oh, finally. I've been trying
to wave down a server all night.

Let me get a burger
and some fries.

Ooh ooh! And a slice of pie.

So, you don't want
the Chill Grill?

-What's that? A combo meal?
-Yep. Mm-hmm. That's exactly what it is.

Get this man a combo meal!

So, it looks like...

we both got got.

Well, I guess there's only
one thing left to say.

-Welcome home, Dad.
-Aw...

I'm still the GOAT though.

Ah...

Let's never do this again, yeah?

[gasps] Booker, look!
Pop-Pop's home!

Oh!

Not my baby!

What is going on here?

Uh, ha, I'll tell you
what's going on.

I came down here to tell you
how much I love my new jacket,

and that girl accidentally
spilled chili all over it.

So, you wore your jacket here
just to tell me how much you like it?

-Is that true?
-Yep.

-Really?
-Nope.

I told Alice she could
wear her jacket to camp,

and then she got
paint all over it.

So we snuck down here
so I could make her a new one

so you wouldn't find out.

Wait. You made a whole
new jacket just to fool me?

-Yes.
-Wow.

I'm almost too impressed
to be mad at you.

Yes! Perfect! Too impressed to be mad.
Let's go with that.

Nuh-uh. Not you.
You in trouble.

I know. I'm grounded.

No, you're not grounded.
But come first day of school,

you're wearing
that chili jacket.

No! Ground me! Please!

Please!
Anything but the chili jacket!

Nope! Chili jacket it is!

[indistinct yelling]

♪ ♪

[phone ringing]

Stay right there.

Oh, hey, Dad.

Hey, Rae! What you doing?

Ah, just relaxing.

Thanks for letting me use
the extra day

you had left on this room.

No problem. You deserve it.

[laughs] Thank you.
[giggles]

You sure you're okay
with taking care of the kids?

Yeah, about that.

[Shave and a Haircut knock]

Hm. Hold on.

What y'all doing here?

-Pop-Pop up sent us.
-He told us to tell you that

you got got.

Oh, did he? [clears throat]

Hey, Dad, your credit card
is still on this room, right?

-Oh, no.
-Oh, yes.

Kids, let's raid
the mini-fridge!

[kids cheer]

Oh, Dad. You can't get

the Can't Get Got GOAT.
[giggles]

Uh, uh, uh!
Tasha's too close to my pie!

♪ ♪