03x02 - Bowlerama

[bunniefuu]

(upbeat music)

- [Caitlin] Come on, Griff, pedal to the metal.

I'd like to get there before it closes.

- [Griff] Hey, my car, my rules.

I'm going the speed limit.

- [Caitlin] Okay, grandma.

- [Griff] It's not easy driving in this, you know?

- [Caitlin] Well, no wonder, you're sitting too far back.

Move up.

- I can't.

I'm sitting on my tail.

You know, all you do is diss my driving.

(car door slams)

It'd be nice to say thank you for a ride to the mall.

- Thank you.

(Griff grumbles)

Hey, can you lend me 10 bucks?

- What? No.

(boot slams)

- But you're making tons at your job.

- Yo rat boy!

- Squirrel.

That's Mr. Squirrel to you.

- Oh yeah.

And he deserves the mister,

because he's changing the lives of all

the little kiddies he teaches to bowl.

- The secret of life can be found in a meaningful job.

You guys wouldn't know that.

(soft music)

- There is no meaning to our lives.

School's a total waste of time.

Oh, and look where we are, the mall.

High River, man.

Nothing happens.

- Why are you so bummed out?

- I'm not bummed out.

- Melissa dumped you.

- Hey. I dump, okay?

I don't get dumped.

It's my birthday.

- Well, happy birthday.

How come you didn't tell anyone?

- I don't know, just didn't.

- So nobody knew about it.

You didn't get any presents, didn't make any plans?

- Hey, look, it's not a big deal, all right?

I'm gonna go buy some CDs.

Catch you later?

- Later.

Your birthday.

I mean you wait and wait for it,

expecting two suns to rise on your big day,

and miracles to happen.

And then it arrives and everyone forgets.

And I remember what that was like.

But hey, I just had a cool birthday.

Maybe I could pass it on.

(upbeat music)

♪ There's a devil standing on my tail ♪

♪ But I don't have to beat him ♪

♪ And there's an angel that is tempting me to fail ♪

♪ But I don't really need him ♪

♪ And the waves just keep rolling along ♪

♪ We can drift if the current prevails ♪

♪ Here we are in this slow boat ♪

♪ Wishing for a sail ♪

♪ Wishing for a sail ♪

♪ A sail ♪

♪ A sail ♪

♪ I'm wishing ♪

♪ I'm wishing ♪

♪ I'm wishing for a sail ♪

(upbeat music)

- [Griff] But Mr. Hogarth,

you didn't say anything about private lessons.

- Blair's a little different.

It helps her learn better.

- But she just doesn't seem to get it.

She hasn't hit a pin yet.

Why don't we just forget about it?

- You trying to tell me how to run things?

- No.

- Good, then get to work, Griffen.

The kid's there waiting.

- (chuckles) Okay.

(suspenseful music)

(bowling ball clunking)

Wow, Blair, that was great.

It almost made it to the pins.

- I like it better when it goes into the gutter.

- [Griff] Well, that's an interesting perspective.

So did you have fun?

- Yeah.

You're the only one who understands me.

- [Griff] Okay.

Well I guess that's it for today.

So

in next week's lesson,

let's see if you can bowl 10 frames of...

(ominous music)

Where did Blair go?

- Who?

- The kid I was teaching.

- I didn't see any kid.

- She was just here.

- Hey, did you know it was Jordan's birthday?

- [Mr. Hogarth] Don't forget to lock up, Griffen.

Good night.

- Ah, man, I totally forgot.

- Yeah, nobody remembered.

And he's really down about it too.

It was just so cool of him

to write that song for me on my birthday.

Hey, what if I called up some people,

and we had a birthday bowling party for him?

- (laughs) We're closed.

- Yeah, so we'd have the whole place to ourselves.

And with the disco lights and everything.

- Wait, forget it.

If anyone finds out I let people in here after hours,

it could mean my job.

- But no one's gonna find out.

- Well, we can't break curfew.

- Breaking curfew will make the party even cooler.

- [Jordan] Boo!

- (Caitlin screams) You go...

- Ooh. After hours and ill*gal, huh?

Hey, this a party or what?

(upbeat rock music)

- Can't believe it.

Who else did you call?

- Everybody, man.

Look, I've never thrown a birthday party before.

- Oh no.

- Come 'ere.

- Orange?

Turquoise?

Don't they have any in black?

- You're gonna have the best birthday party ever, dude.

- Oh, yeah!

♪ Somewhere ♪

♪ We'll surf the night ♪

♪ Somewhere ♪

- Hey.

- Sheriff Lowe.

- Jordan, are Caitlin and Griffen here?

- Caitlin's in the bathroom, and Griff's changing.

- Oh man.

He knows about the party.

- You're helping him close up tonight, right?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- [Griff] Dad.

- Hey, Griff.

Look, I don't wanna scare you guys,

but a convict escaped from

the Logan County Jail this afternoon,

and he was seen headed this way.

- You're kidding. - Really?

- Yeah.

Now he's probably already been apprehended,

but I just wanna take some precautions.

So can you drive Jordan home?

- Yeah. Sure.

- Okay. See you later.

- All right.

(upbeat rock music)

Oh, come on.

You heard my dad, we gotta split.

Where's Caitlin?

- Bathroom.

Your dad said

the guy's probably been caught already, anyways.

- Can't we just have the party tomorrow night?

- Tomorrow's not my birthday.

Griff, you're scared of your own shadow.

- [Both] Party!

- Here's your cake, bro.

- Did anyone see you come in?

- No. Caitlin said to be cool.

- Did you see anyone suspicious?

- No.

- Here. Happy birthday, Jordan.

I got you a little present.

- All right, here are the rules.

No loud music.

Everyone follows bowling etiquette,

including wearing those shoes.

- I'm not wearing those rental shoes.

I mean, who knows whose feet have been in them?

- You'll skiff the lanes.

- Where's Caitlin?

- Bathroom.

- That's weird.

(eerie music)

I left the costume right here.

Now it's gone.

- How can it be gone?

- I don't know.

Maybe the janitor's in tonight.

(paper rustling)

- A picture of you.

- What?

(ominous music)

(door handle squeaks)

- Blair.

What are you doing here?

- I forgot to pay for my lesson.

(eerie music)

- [Griff Voiceover] How did she know I was Mr. Squirrel?

(eerie music)

(camera flash clicks) - Smile.

(upbeat music) (camera shutter clicks)

(people laughing) (camera shutter clicks)

(people laughing) (camera shutter clicks)

(people laughing) (camera shutter clicks)

(camera shutter clicks)

(bowling pins rattle) - Ugh! 7/10 split.

- It's a harsh frame, dude.

- It's 'cause it's too dark in here to bowl.

(upbeat music)

- What you need to do is punch a seven pin,

so that it jumps over, and hits a 10 pin.

(Jordan scoffs)

♪ Bouncing up the walls ♪

♪ How can I let you know that I'm about to fall ♪

♪ Without a net, we'll know ♪

♪ And you don't wanna walk ♪ (All cheering )

(camera shuttering)

♪ Unless this run is getting sure ♪

♪ Well am I good or bad ♪

♪ I'm in a lot of trouble ♪

♪ Due to hit the spire ♪

♪ When am I in a route ♪

♪ And you don't wanna sail ♪

♪ You give a kiss and then you poke ♪

♪ You poke you poke ♪

- [Brett] Who's ready for the disco ball?

- [Blonde Girl] All right.

(upbeat music) (group cheers)

♪ A block is in the way of what I'm trying to say ♪

♪ I wish you'd take another look ♪

♪ To look, to look ♪

(group cheers) (camera shutter clicks)

(group cheers) (camera shutter clicks)

(group cheering) (bowling pins clanking)

(ominous music)

(group cheering)

- I think it's cool that you're throwing this party

for Jordan.

- Really? Thanks.

- I mean, I think it's great that you hang around with guys.

I'd do the same thing if I didn't have a boyfriend.

(upbeat music)

- [Brett] Oh, baby. Yeah.

Come on, come on, come on.

Oh! - Yes!

- [Brett] Nice one, Caitlin.

- Wait a minute.

Didn't we hear this song already?

- Maybe it's the escaped convict.

- What?

- Yeah right.

- What escaped convict?

- Oh Jim said a k*ller broke out of the penitentiary.

- I didn't hear it was a k*ller.

- Jim didn't say it wasn't a k*ller.

(Griff's feet thud)

- Did you guys see a kid in here?

- What kid?

(Griffen sighs)

- [Griff] Never mind.

- Wait, I think Griffen has some CDs in his car.

Brett.

- (sighs) Why is it always me that has to go get stuff?

- 'Cause you're the only one that nobody will miss.

(girls snicker)

(Brett laughs)

(upbeat music)

(bell rings)

(feet thudding)

(door clunks)

- Locked!

From the outside.

(eerie music)

- Jordan said the bathrooms were to the right, didn't he?

- Yeah.

- It's so dark.

- I know. I love being scared.

You know when you watch horror movies

and your arms get all covered in goosebumps?

And the hairs on the back of your neck stand up?

(brunette girl shudders)

- Where's the light?

- Should be somewhere against the wall.

(gasps)

- What's wrong?

(bowling pins clatter)

(girls screaming)

(girl screams)

- Who screamed?

(ominous music)

(girls breathing heavily)

- The k*ller's here.

- What?

- He's waiting for us.

- Come on you guys, please.

- We saw his shadow.

- He's in the squirrel costume.

- (laughs) Okay. Lemme get this straight.

So not only are we being stalked by an escaped convict,

but he's wearing the squirrel costume?

(Jordan laughs)

- Yes!

- We gotta get out of here.

- We can't.

Door's locked from the outside.

- How could it be?

- I don't know.

Maybe the janitor did it when he left.

- What?

- [Brunette Girl] We're trapped in here?

- Where's Griffen?

(eerie music)

Shouldn't he be back by now?

What if something happened?

- Griffen's costume was missing, right?

- It'll turn up.

- Look, the shadow you saw was probably a-

- Jordan! I touched his hand.

- Says you, all right?

- Can we bowl, please? Please?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Hey, how come the pins didn't reset?

(ominous thud)

- I don't know, maybe the chute's stuck.

(eerie music)

- My strike better still count.

It's very dark in the pit.

Looks like the perfect place for the k*ller to hide.

- [Squirrel] Pop goes the weasel!

(Caitlin screams) (ominous music)

(Squirrel laughs)

- [Squirrel] Come here!

(Caitlin screams)

- [Squirrel] I've got you now.

(Caitlin squeals)

- Help me, do something!

(Caitlin squeals)

Help!

Help me!

- [Brett] She's gone.

- We have to save Caitlin.

- Better go in there, dude.

- Huh! Me?

You're the macho one.

- Maybe he only wants Caitlin?

I mean, maybe he's not even interested in the rest of us.

- No, we can't just leave her in there.

(Griffen pants)

- Griffen where were you?

You were supposed to...

- I got locked in the electrical room, it's too weird.

- It was the convict.

- What?

- Here's here and he dragged Caitlin into the pit.

- Oh, man!

I am so gonna lose my job!

- Griffen!

- Ow!

All right, we have to save Caitlin.

- Okay, you do that.

'Cause I'm leaving.

- [Group] What about Caitlin?

- Where's your fire exit?

- The fire exit's are both alarmed.

My dad'll find out about the party

and I'll be grounded forever.

(chute machinery clanking)

(upbeat music)

(chute machinery clanking)

(upbeat music)

(pins clattering)

(pins clattering)

(group whines)

(smoke hisses)

(eerie music)

(girls squeal)

(pins clattering)

(pins clattering)

(group squealing)

(upbeat music)

(bowling pins clattering)

(girls squeal)

- Oh my god.

- We're all gonna die!

- Where's Caitlin?

- I know another way to the pindeck.

Follow me!

(upbeat music squeaks)

- Where could she be?

(ominous music)

- This is creepy.

- You could say that again.

(blonde girl squeals)

- [Brunette Girl] You almost gave me a heart attack.

(ominous music)

(Griffen gasps)

(girls scream)

- Where's Griffen?

- He's gone!

(group screams)

(ominous music)

- [Brunette Girl] We can't just leave Caitlin and Griffin.

- If we don't, the k*ller's gonna get us all.

One by one.

- What did we ever do to him?

- I'm calling Sheriff Lowe.

- What're you gonna tell him?

- That we're being hunted by an insane squirrel.

(phone rings)

I've got another call.

(phone beeps)

- [Squirrel] The monkey thought it was all in fun. (laughs)

- (gasps) It's him!

- So it's like he knows our every move.

(blonde girl sighs)

- Okay, look.

There's two fire exits.

- Okay, let's split up.

- That way at least one of us will still get out alive.

- If you say alive, I'm gonna slap you.

- Look, why don't we just all stay together?

- Fine!

God, this is the worst birthday party I've ever been to.

- Hey.

I love you guys.

(eerie music)

(bestial wailing)

(bestial wailing)

(bestial wailing)

(ominous music)

- [Squirrel] Pop!

(group screams)

(intense music)

- [Jordan] He's coming!

- [Blonde Girl] You're alive!

(group screams)

- [Squirrel] Penny for a squirrel of thread.

Penny for a needle.

(group screams)

- [Brett] Get out! Get out!

(intense music)

(Brett growls)

- [Squirrel] Hey you guys, cut it out!

Wait! Stop it!

Guys.

- [Blonde Girl] What?

- Let him up, you guys.

- [Jordan] Who is he?

(eerie music)

(blonde girl gasps)

- [Brunette Girl] Caitlin?

- [Brett] You gotta be kidding.

- You are so evil!

- You're the convict!

- Actually, Griffen and I teamed up.

(Griffen giggles)

You see, I wanted to give Jordan

a really cool birthday present.

(camera shutter whirs)

- Look, I wanna give Jordan a fright night.

I think we should dress up as a weirdo stalking everyone

in the squirrel costume.

(Griffen laughs)

- That's so brilliant.

Jordan thinks he's a big man who can't get scared.

- I do not.

Okay, okay. Maybe a little.

(Caitlin laughs)

- But the hardest part was when Griffen had to put me

into the pit.

(intense music)

Help me!

Help me!

(Caitlin squeals)

Help me!

(lively music)

Quick, the head. Give me the head.

You were brilliant!

- Ha! Ditto.

- [Blonde Girl] Caitlin!

(Caitlin squeals)

- Escaped convict.

(Griffen chuckles)

- Giving me a fright night.

That's gotta be the greatest birthday present ever.

- Thanks.

- No kidding. That is so wild.

- Yeah, it was kinda fun.

- I bought it completely.

(bowling pins clatter)

(eerie music)

- That's a nice touch.

Caitlin, but if you're here, who's bowling?

(ominous music)

- The fire escape.

(ominous music)

(kids gasp)

- Mom.

Dad.

The k*ller is here.

- I guess I gotta arrest him.

(Mom laughs)

(Sheriff laughs)

- You guys, this is not funny.

- Wait a second, how'd you get in?

Aren't those doors locked?

- You locked us in?

- Yeah.

- So there was no escaped convict?

- What? I don't understand.

- We came to say hi to you guys while you were making

your party plans.

(camera shutter clicks)

- I wanna give Jordan a fright night.

I think we should dress up as a weirdo stalking everyone

in the squirrel costume.

- [Griff] That's so brilliant.

Jordan thinks he's a big man, he can't get scared.

- They are breaking curfew to throw a horror birthday party?

We can't let them get away with that, can we?

- No.

- I have such a great idea.

It was a double setup.

I got the idea from Alfred Hitchcock.

- Oh! (whispers) Who's Alfred Hitchcock?

- All right, so you beat us at our own game.

- You're not gonna tell my boss are you?

- If I do, he might not let you guys come back here again.

(kids sigh)

- Now aren't you just a little bit sorry

that you broke your curfew?

- No!

- No way. - Not really.

- I know I'm never bowling again.

(kids groan)

- Hey, why don't you take a group photo of us?

- [Sheriff] Yeah.

- Fright night bowl-a-rama.

So this is how it feels to throw a birthday party.

Cool and close to your friends.

Not to mention, we broke every rule that was ever written.

(eerie music)

- [Sheriff] Say cheese.

- [Group] Cheese!

(bowling pins clatter) (camera shutter clicks)

(eerie music)

(upbeat music)

♪ Wishing for a sail ♪

♪ Wishing for a sail ♪

♪ A sail ♪

♪ A sail ♪

♪ A sail ♪

♪ Wishing for a sail ♪

♪ A sail ♪

♪ A sail ♪

♪ A sail ♪

♪ A sail ♪

♪ Well, all right ♪

(upbeat guitar music)

♪ I'm wishin ♪

♪ I'm wishin ♪

♪ I'm wishin ♪

♪ I'm wishing for a sail ♪