01x07 - Solar Mates

[bunniefuu]

- [Teacher] I'll be right back, class.

Try and keep the mayhem at a minimal level.

(upbeat rock music)

(students clamoring)

- [Caitlin VO] How predictable.

Teacher leaves the class, and half a second later,

50 trillion brain cells go on vacation.

School's weird.

You're forced to spend your entire day surrounded by people

you otherwise would have nothing to do with.

And would have nothing to do with you.

(students clamoring)

- Number eight.

He loves you if he ignores you completely.

- Yes. Brett hasn't talked to me in two days.

(grunting) - Seven. D major.

Disgusting!

All right, Duncan!

- Hey! - I need a*mo!

- Watch it!

(rock music)

- Thank you, Griffen. I expect a report on the

aerodynamics of spit ba*ls on my desk.

After lunch is fine. - it is after lunch.

- So you're already late handing it in.

Okay, future Einsteins, tomorrow is today.

(Mr. Haskins sneezes)

The solar eclipse, an event that happens once in a lifetime.

We're going to be camping,

so bring your sleeping bags and bug spray.

Fine. I'll collect your permission slips now.

(chairs scraping)

(students chattering)

(Mr. Haskins coughs) Thank you.

Caitlin.

- Um, Mr. Haskins,

I don't really camp.

- Then you won't really pass.

So why don't you start us off by picking your tent partner?

(students clamoring)

- Taylor!

- Taylor, Caitlin, tent number one. Who's next?

- Sharing a tent? - I didn't pick her!

- [Caitlin VO] 24 hours in the woods with

these dweebs and freaks?

I'm going to find out way too much about them.

And they're going to find out way too much about me.

(upbeat punk music)

♪ There's a devil standing on my tail ♪

♪ But I don't have to beat him ♪

♪ There's an angel that is tempting me to fail ♪

♪ But I don't really need him ♪

♪ And the waves just keep rolling along ♪

♪ We can drift if the current prevails ♪

♪ But here we are in this slow boat ♪

♪ Wishing for a sail ♪

♪ Wishing for a sail ♪

♪ A Sail, a sail, a sail, a sail, a sail, a sail ♪

♪ Wishing ♪

♪ Wishing, wishing ♪

♪ For a sail ♪

(light music)

(horse whinnies)

♪ Until the morning stops coming on time ♪

♪ That's how long I'll long I'll love you ♪

♪ Until the wheat stops standing in line ♪

♪ That's how long I'll love you. ♪

- Sorry, Bandit, I can't play anymore.

Well, it's not my fault. I gotta go.

Hey, do horses camp?

You can come and be my tent partner.

(Bandit snorts)

Yeah, you're right. We'd have to have a very big tent.

♪ That's how long I'll love ♪

♪ Love you ♪

Look, just don't sign the permission slip.

Then I won't have to go!

- Caitlin, it's going to be great.

Sleeping under the stars.

- We'll be in tents! - Figure of speech.

You'll cook over an open fire.

Just wait until you taste your first toasted marshmallow,

all black on the outside and gooey on the inside.

And, you'll be all snuggled up in this.

- What? A garbage bag? - No, your sleeping bag.

- It's not phat enough! - It's high tech phat.

Good for 40 below. - It's going to get that cold?

- Caitlin, there is nothing like camping in

the great outdoors. Trust me.

- Can't we just watch the eclipse on the radio?

Oh, don't tell me you're bringing that.

- Hey, nature's one of the best sources

for musical inspiration there is.

(strumming guitar lightly) - Griffen.

There are two kinds of music in this world.

Music people like to listen to,

and yours.

Leave the guitar at home.

(Griffen chuckles)

- A whole day and a whole night all to ourselves.

(phone rings) - I thought you had

to work tomorrow. - Garth can handle things.

I figure I've worked enough late nights.

- [Griffen] I'll get it.

- Besides (Griffen talking on phone)

I think we deserve a little time to ourselves.

- Well, I'm very happy to hear that, Sheriff Lowe.

- [Griffen] Excuse me.

I hate to interrupt the lovin'.

- Mr. Haskins is sick.

- [Griffen] The trip is off,

unless someone else can chaperone.

(rock music)

- No.

(upbeat rock music)

(students chattering)

(horn honking)

- What is this stuff anyway?

- I'm really sorry, Sheriff Lowe.

I guess I didn't close the top tight enough.

- Just get me a towel, Duncan.

(students chattering)

- [Dori] Hey, can you give me a hand with this stuff?

Oh, maybe not.

- Could have spent the whole weekend with me,

but no, you want to babysit two dozen hormonal 14 year olds.

- It's just part of being a parent.

Okay, up you go. Come on.

(Jim claps hands) - Let's go, guys.

- [Taylor] And I'll give you my purple tube top.

- To spend all night in a tent with her?

I don't think so.

- Too bad she has no friends of her own.

- Gee, your mouth is so big, how could you miss it?

- [Student] Hey Griff, why don't you play

that new tune of yours?

(students clapping and cheering)

(guitar playing lightly)

(light music)

(light upbeat pop music)

- [Jim] Griff, it sounds really painful.

- [Griffen] That's what makes it alternative rock.

- [Student] Yeah, it's totally cool,

but you need some drums.

- [Jim] Would you please keep it down back there?

(brakes squeal lightly)

- Woo!

Yeah!

(students chattering)

- I told you we should have got him a book

for his birthday instead of that guitar.

- You're never going to let me forget it. Are you?

- Come on!

- [Girl] Woo!

- Let's go, let's go, let's go. Hurry up.

(students clamoring)

Not too close! Not too close, you wild beasts!

- Put it here!

- Are you kidding? That's the lowest spot around.

You have to pitch a tent on high ground.

- It's soft down here. It's all rocks up there.

Put it here.

- Look, unlike you, I actually know what I'm talking about.

If it rains, the water flows down, and we get soaked.

High ground!

- I'm not sleeping on rocks.

We're putting it there.

- And how many tents have you put up?

- Oh, like you've ever put up a tent, princess.

- [Dori] Girls!

This is your camping survival guide.

It tells you what to do in case of poison ivy,

how to tell north from south, about snakes.

- Yeah, yeah, I get it, I get it.

I'll look at it later.

- I want you to read it, ASAP.

- Don't worry, Dr. Lowe. I'll make sure she looks at it.

- Thank you, Taylor.

- [Girl] Dr. Lowe!

- Here are your survival sheets, girls.

(water flowing gently)

- Looks good, guys.

You know, when the Plains Indians were your age,

they'd go in the wilderness all alone.

- [Boy] Cool. - They'd fast and meditate.

Often they'd have visions that

would guide them their entire lives.

Can you imagine what they thought when they saw an eclipse?

- [Student] That guy's awesome!

- I don't believe it.

You're watching TV.

Out here?

(rock music playing on TV)

Do you have any aspirin?

- [Dori] Have you seen my sleeping bag?

- [Jim] No. Why would I?

- Well, I've looked everywhere. I can't seem to find it.

- Did you forget to pack it? - No.

- Are you sure?

Because I loaded everything that you brought out.

- Yes, Jim, I'm sure. - Fine. Take mine.

- Fine. I will.

- [Taylor] You gave me the wrong pole!

- [Caitlin] It's the right pole.

You put it in the wrong place.

(Taylor scoffs)

(Caitlin grunts) Ow! You did that on purpose!

- It's not my fault that you've got a big head!

She's gonna mug me!

- Like I would want anything you have.

- Right. Why would you want things like friends!

Then you'd be normal!

- [Dori] Caitlin! Taylor! Enough!

Hey!

We need some firewood and you two have just volunteered

to go and get some.

Stick to the path and don't forget

to take your survival sheets.

- Yeah yeah. - [Taylor] I've got mine.

Poison Ivy.

Look, there's a big bunch of wood right there.

- So why don't you get it?

- My arms are full.

- Oh, a couple of twigs too heavy for ya?

(light ominous music)

(Taylor screams)

(Taylor screams) - Help!

- What'd you do? Drop your eye liner?

(Taylor screams loudly)

- If you're not in trouble, you will be.

(ominous music)

(Taylor screams) - [Taylor] Help!

(ominous music continues)

(snake rattling)

(Taylor panting)

It's a rattlesnake.

(snake rattling)

(branches clattering)

Grab a stick and whack him! - No way.

- [Taylor] Caitlin! It's poisonous! Help me!

- [Caitlin] Okay, okay, I'm coming. Just stay calm.

(ominous music continues)

(snake rattling)

(Taylor cries out)

(Taylor screams)

- [Taylor] Caitlin! - I'm coming.

(Taylor crying) - Oh my God.

I got bit, I got bit.

- Where?

- Over there, by the firewood.

- No, no, no. Where on your body?

- My ankle.

(Taylor stammering)

You gotta suck the poison. - What?

- You've gotta suck the poison!

- Okay. Camp's not that far away.

I'll go get, Jim. - No, we don't have time.

Rattlesnake poison! - All right, all right.

- Ow!

- Here goes.

I have to wipe the blood off first.

(Taylor crying)

Ow!

Something poked my lip.

- Oh, God.

- It's a gourd!

- Ow!

- From this branch!

You are such a drama queen.

- Hey, it felt like I got bit. Okay?

- I can't believe I just did that.

(light guitar music)

- Oh, that's a good idea.

- Better be. It's the only way I'll stay warm tonight.

- Fine. You can have your sleeping bag.

I'll sleep by the fire in the girl's camp.

- Keep it down, Griff! - Don't yell at him, Jim.

He's just trying to express his creativity.

- Yeah, well, does he have to express it so loudly?

- Look, I have had to deal with Taylor and Caitlin

the whole day and you haven't heard me com...

Complaining. - What's wrong?

- I sent them to get firewood about an hour ago.

- All right. You organize the girls, I'll get the guys.

We'll leave Duncan behind in case they come back.

- Okay. Oh, girls! - [Jim] Okay, listen up!

Everyone here, now! - Girls, gather round.

- [Jim] Duncan, come on!

- Okay.

Okay, I think, I think we came that way.

- No.

I recognize that tree. - [Caitlin] Sure you do.

- Camp's that way!

- Man, I'm so itchy.

- I smell the river.

I can.

If we follow it, it will lead us back to camp.

- Oh, this better work.

(light ominous music)

(all shouting)

- [All] Taylor! Caitlin! Where are you guys?

- Taylor! - Caitlin!

(students all shouting)

- Taylor!

- [Taylor] I think that thorn infected me.

No, you did.

- What are you talking about?

- You were in that poison ivy

and your hands touched my ankle, and it spread.

- I was in poison ivy? Why didn't you tell me?

- To get back at you. - Get back at me?

- For the bus? - You started it.

I'll trade you my purple tube top

and my industrial strength mascara.

- You would have done exactly the same thing!

- No, I would have thrown in my shoes,

maybe even my camera.

- It's not like you have any friends to trade with,

so I guess we'll never know.

- What I do know is that I'm worth more

than your lousy tube top.

(Taylor groans)

- Caitlin!

(all shouting for Taylor and Caitlin)

- Taylor!

Taylor!

You really shouldn't have let Caitlin go off like that.

- She was with Taylor, and I told her to stay on the path.

(light ominous music)

- [Taylor] I told you the river was this way.

- Thanks for reminding me. Again.

Okay, it's the river. Now what?

Oh, check it out.

We can float it back to camp.

You know, like Huck and Jim did on the raft.

- Jim Lowe? - No.

Jim as in Huck and Jim, from Huckleberry Finn.

Don't you read anything but shampoo bottles?

- Hurry up. - This doesn't look safe.

- There are no rattlesnakes in it.

- Fine. Get in.

(water splashing lightly)

Okay.

Okay, we're really moving.

(light music)

- You were right, this is working.

- Yeah, we hardly have to paddle.

(light music continues)

- When I was little, my dad used to take me fly fishing.

We'd wear these hip waders and pack these big lunches.

- You wore hip waders? - Uh huh.

It was nice being a kid.

Do you ever miss it? - Sometimes.

- Ah.

(Taylor sighs) Thanks.

- Hey, do you mind? Mine's k*lling me.

- I've got some calamine lotion you can borrow back

at camp you can borrow. - Thanks.

Hey, do you hear that?

- Rapids. - [Caitlin] Are you sure?

- [Taylor] Positive. - That's not good, is it?

(water splashing loudly)

(girls screaming)

Come on!

- We've gotta get off the boat. Now!

(dramatic music)

- Look, there's camp.

- But we have to get off!

- We're going too fast!

- Somebody, help us! - [Taylor] Help!

- [Caitlin] Where is everybody?

- The branch!

We've gotta grab it!

Now. Jump!

(dramatic music continues)

(water splashing)

- Taylor!

- Taylor! (students all shouting)

- Caitlin!

- You know, I don't know why I sent them.

- [Jim] Look, I'm sure they're fine. We'll fined them.

(dramatic music)

- [Caitlin] Taylor!

Taylor, grab onto the branch!

Taylor!

I'm gonna go get help! - Don't leave me!

- I'll be back, I promise!

(dramatic music continues)

Jim, Dori!

Where is everybody?

(dramatic music)

Taylor, hold on. - I'm getting numb!

- Grab on!

(water splashes)

- I can't reach it! - You have to!

- I can't!

(dramatic music)

(water rushing)

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I think I am.

Man, I'm going to be itching like this for weeks.

- Big deal. I almost drowned.

- Yeah, well, so did I.

And I had to suck your leg.

- You tell anyone about that, and you're in big trouble.

(Caitlin laughs) Oh yeah,

like that's something I'm going to be bragging about.

Hey look, the sun's coming out.

(birds chirping)

- We can see the eclipse.

I totally forgot.

- Yeah, well, almost drowning will do that to ya.

- It's welder's glass, to look at the eclipse.

(light music)

- [Dori] Where have you been?

We've been looking al over for you.

- Caitlin, are you all right?

(students chattering)

Griff, get the welder's glass.

(light music continues)

- Man, what happened to you?

- Oh, you won't believe what I just went through.

- [Girl] Your mascara's like really smudged.

What did she do to you? - Why are you wet?

- [Caitlin VO] They say strange

things happen during eclipses.

- What happened to you guys, anyway?

- Not much.

- So was Taylor a total nightmare?

- She was herself.

- [Caitlin VO] I always knew that

I could hold my own in the city.

Now I know that I can hold my own in the middle of nowhere.

It was a good thing that I was here,

for Taylor and me both.

For a minute, I felt like I had a friend.

- Hey, what happened to my guitar?

- I told you not to bring it.

(upbeat rock music)

♪ Wishing for a sail ♪

♪ Wishing for a sail, a sail, a sail, a sail, a sail, ♪

♪ Wishing for a sail, a sail, a sail, a sail, a sail ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ Wishing ♪

♪ Wishing ♪

♪ Wishing ♪

♪ Wishing ♪

♪ Wishing ♪

♪ For a sail ♪