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04x07 - Speck

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Space Ghost Coast to Coast". Aired: May 30, 2006 – May 31, 2008.*
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Uses a subverted talk show format hosted by Space Ghost as he interviews live-action guest stars, whom Space Ghost believes to be fellow superheroes, appearing on a monitor beside Space Ghost's desk.

04x07 - Speck

Post by bunniefuu »

Greetings. This is tansut welcoming

you to another edition of space

ghost coast to coast.

Tonight, Space Ghost yuks it up

with reggae roustabout Jimmy cliff

and musician Jack Logan.

Did I read that right?

"Yuk." What does that mean?

Maybe I could just amend it right here.

Uh, no? Uh, keep on going?

And now, a grown man in leotards,

and I think he feels pretty sassy about it

Space Ghost!

Greetings, citizens. I'm Space Ghost.

On my show tonight, I'll be probing

A couple of topnotch musicians

to find out what makes them tick.

Tick?

Yes, tick.

Tick, you say?

Yes, zorak. Tick.

I got it.

Good.

That's strange.

The desk seems much higher tonight, unless

Hey, who's been messing with my chair?

This seat is still warm.

Zorak, were you sitting in my chair?

It's not sticky, is it?

Uh, no.

No, then.

I don't believe you.

I'm Egyptian.

Oh, no, you're not.

Listen, zorak, the chair's still warm,

so I know it had to be you or Moltar.

It wasn't me, friend.

Oh, yeah?

Uh I don't know. Whatever.

Moltar, were you sitting in my chair?

I'm Egyptian.

Oh, hush.

Moltar!

Space Ghost.

Were you sitting in my chair?

I was.

Were you?

What are you talking about?

I'm not talking about anything.

I'm asking you if you were sitting here.

Oh, ok.

So, were you or not?

In your chair, right?

Right.

That's what I thought.

Tick, you say?

That's right, zorak. Tick.

Like a time b*mb tick?

No. More like my Mickey mouse watch.

A nice tick.

Time bombs are nice.

Tick, tick, tick, boom! Tick,

tick Hey, Space Ghost.

What is it, Moltar?

You know, there's also an insect called a tick.

It's small, but can cause a very grave illness.

Illness is bad.

It's actually a parasite, which means it receives

nourishment from its host Yes,

thank you, Moltar.

Anyway, on tonight's program, singer/songwriter/

swimming pool motor repairman Jack

Logan is here, along with bongo man/

something else probably

reggae legend Jimmy cliff.

Now, that's a lot of ss.

SS Moltar, I think there's

something wrong with my sibilance.

S-sibilance.

Sibilance.

S-s-s-sibilance.

Hi, Jimmy.

Hi.

I'm so tired.

I haven't slept a wink.

OhUm, wonderful.

Ah, ah, ah

Ladies and gentlemen, reggae legend Jimmy cliff.

Welcome to my show, o bongo man.

All right. Thank you.

You're welcome.

So, what do you think of the big show?

Pretty fancy, eh?

Very interesting.

Hmm. Interesting good,

or interesting bad?

So far, so good.

Still enjoying myself.

Enjoying yourself good, or enjoying yourself bad?

Yes. Ha ha.

Ha ha. I see.

Now, Jimmy, my belly is full, but I'm hungry.

Uh-huh.

And a hungry man is an angry man.

Good. All right, I'll remember that.

Good. All right, I'll remember that.

So, James, tell me everything

you've been doing lately.

I've been recording Ok.

For my new album.

Ok.

I've been writing Ok.

And I've been doing a few shows

Ok.

Particularly in South America.

No kidding? South America?

Uh-huh.

I love South America.

You know, Jimmy, that's the land

of the great delta blues men.

You know, muddy rivers,

crewcut Johnson, blind orange Julius.

All the great blues men are from South America.

My new album is called higher and higher.

All rightie.

It's a mixture carry me home to my kin.

Singing songs about the southland.

I miss alabam-ee once again.

Turn it up.

Jimmy, can I ask you something?

Uh-huh.

It's a question. Is that ok?

Yes.

Do you think I'm Irish?

Give thewhat?

Do you think I'm Irish?

Irie.

Irie, yes. Do you think I'm irie?

You're very well on your way, yes.

Is that good? I don't

actually know what irie means.

All I know is that it has something

to do with Saint Patrick's day

and that I'm supposed to

wear my green cape that day.

Irie

Is to rule one's internal.

Is to rule one's internal.

I'm in touch with the beat of the Caribbean.

So irie means "I rule I internally."

Hey, zorak, guess what. I'm irie.

Guess what. You're an idiot.

How about zorak, Jimmy?

I figure with that green shell,

he's got to have some irie blood in him.

Ah oh, oh, oh, oh

oh, oh, oh

Well, let's see. There's my calculator collection,

my autographed copy of the Celestine prophecy,

a sleeve or two of oreos,

and a box of kleenex.

Well, how about you?

What do you keep underneath your bed?

Oh, magazines wrapped in plastic

Of dead people.

That's awesome.

Dead people crack me up.

Hey, Jack, you know what?

What's that?

Sometimes I like to wrap myself up in plastic.

Oh, I got to be going.

My next guest sings songs

about motors and sprockets,

and we couldn't be happier to have him here.

Identify yourself, please.

Jack Logan motor repairman, singer.

Welcome, Jack.

Great to be here, Space Ghost.

Let me begin with a serious question, Jackie boy.

Ok. Yeah, sure.

How about this pantsuit I'm sporting?

Rather smart-looking, is it not?

Is that the same one, or do you have,

like, a big closet full of them,

or how does that work?

I have several, and I rotate.

I thought so.

I didn't know if that was some

special material that deflects dirt.

Oh, but it is.

It's a space-age material called spandex.

Spanha ha. Ok.

And the shape of your head is amazing.

Like a b*llet.

Yeah.

It intimidates.

Yeah. I can see why. It's

intimidating but very attractive.

You find my jaw attractive?

Yeah, yeah. Very strong.

You know, I've got, like, Clay.

You know, it just looks like,

you know, a very weak chin,

you know, it just looks like,

you know, a very weak chin,

and, so, you know, I'm a little jealous.

You like my cut, do you?

Your cut?

Yes. I'm cut like a rock.

You are. You're very solid.

Dense, like a loaf of Turkey roll.

All muscle, too, I bet.

I'll take that bet.

Oh, go tune yourself, zorak.

I'm Egyptian.

Pay no attention to him, Jack.

He's evil.

Well, he's kind of here against his will, right?

Yes, he is. He and Moltar were very bad,

and I lock them up.

Have you met Moltar?

Yeah. I've seen him.

He's very quiet, isn't he?

Ha ha. A little slow upstairs.

Hey!

But enough about them.

We were talking about my chin.

Do you have a ray that can tighten up my chin

and take some off the nose?

Silly citizen, rays are for superheroes.

Ok, well, yeah silly citizen, rays,

rays are for superheroes.

Ss-ss-ss.

Hey, Moltar, nice work on the sibilance, buddy.

I don't know what you did, but it's much better.

Yeah, I turned the, uh

Thing.

So, jackaroo, let's take a few

seconds to talk about your new album.

Are you ready?

Begin.

Uh, this is our latest record.

It's been out for about 5 or 6 hey,

Jack Logan, look what I can do.

Wow. Cool.

Yeah, it's quite a rush.

He's a very funny bug.

You think zorak is funny?

Yeah, I think he is. And the little guy, too.

Or is he dead now?

The little dead guy?

No. His little buddy.

Raymond?

Raymond, yeah. Ha ha.

Zorak's nephew.

His nephew, yeah.

History.

Ha ha. Well, I shouldn't have

brought that up. I'm sorry.

I'm not.

Somebody save me.

I'm still alive.

Oh, uh La la la la la la la nobody can hear.

La la la la

ok, Jack Logan, now, do I understand

correctly that in addition to being a

musician, you're also a mechanic?

Right. Uh, yeah.

Have you ever worked on a phantom cruiser?

No, no. I'd be interested to take a crack at one.

Yeah, I've been having some

trouble with the helix compressor.

I think there may be a short

in the binomal oxidation tank,

but I can't seem to get around the nanker valve.

Oh, ok. Ok, yeah.

I think you can bypass that.

I think you can bypass that.

Bypass the nanker valve?

How are we going to bypass the nanker valve?

It's ill*gal, but, you know,

you can get away with it.

ill*gal?

Yeah, yeah.

Excuse me, son, but why would I want to get away

with something that is ill*gal?

Uh-oh. Hold on. Hold on.

I've got something in my eye.

Stop the show.

What's going on with you, Moltar?

What, you hit your head or something?

I was, uh, out dancing last night