02x11 - We Ski in Peace

[bunniefuu]

[Paper rustling]

- Ok, dad. I'm all ready.
- Good for you.

- Come on, dad.
Don't you remember?

It's take your son
to work day today.

- Oh, right. That.

Have a seat.
Let me show you around.

- All right.

- So, here is
the living section.

There's also health,
the comics...

Ooh, look, it's an adult
underwear advertisement.

Tour's over!
- But, dad!

- Working.
- But--

- Ah, here's my secretary.

Secretary mother, place
this man under kitchen arrest.

He's stealing secrets
from nancy and sluggo.

Put him in the fridge.
See what he knows.

- Secretary?
What are you talking about?

- Nancy and sluggo work for dad.

- No, they don't,

Because dad hasn't
worked a day in 15 years.

Why do you think you wear
the same clothes every day?

- So I'll recognize me?
- No, dear.

It's because your father
is too lazy to work.

- Why should I work
when we have pirate relatives?

I say let them do the work.

We don't have pirate relatives.

I didn't say "pirates."
I said bankers
and loan officers.

Am I talking to
a ghost on the wall
on a windy day, or what?

- Is that why my lunch money
is made of wood

And marbles with numbers
painted on them?

- I don't understand
the question.

Everybody, out of my office!

- Aah!

Does that mean me, too?
- Everybody!

[Moaning and chewing]

Your ceiling's broken.

- Get up there and fix it!
- Yeah, well...

[Door shuts]

- I thought I handled that
pretty well.

- No, you didn't.

You're setting
a terrible example,

Lying to your son
about having a job.

- I'm trying to show him
that there are bad men
in this world,

And that those bad men
deserve to be kissed
by pretty ladies like you--

Underneath their work shoes.

- Ooh, you are incorrigible.

It is high time you found
a job like the rest of
the men in the neighborhood.

- You know what, mother?
You're right.

I will be back shortly
with a new job.

Look, a boat!
- Oh, my god!

- I know.
That's what I said
when I saw it, too.

Look at it, mother.
It's so friggin' sweet!

- I cannot believe this.

You go out to find a job and
you come back with a ski boat?!

- Yes.
- Where did you get
the money for this?

- Um...well...

Uh...well...um...

That is to say...

- That was brak's college fund!

- Ha ha!
Hey, now, baby.

Let's keep it "real" here.

Does brak look like
"college material" to you?

- ♪ Doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo doo ♪

- Come on, baby.
You're going to look so hot
on that set of skis.

- Enough!
You are to return that
boat and find a job

First thing in the morning
or I'm calling immigration.

- [Sighs]
all right, mother.

Let me show you something.

Check this out.

- Aah! What's happening?

- Do not be frightened, darling.
You see, I already have a job.

In fact, right now I am devising
a plan to save the world

From an invasion of
the giant k*ller ant army.

[Computers beeping]

Approve. Disapprove.
Affirmative. Dis-affirmative.

More of this.
Less of that.

Did you get your hair cut?
Very nice!

Rebuild it. Mag wheels.
- I don't believe this.

Who are these--
- wrong! That is not what
giant k*ller ants look like.

They never, ever wear hats.

- This is so strange.

- No, mother.
This is strange.

- Banana!
- Look at my paper!

- Don't I look pretty?
- Ha ha ha!

- I'm baking cookies.
Don't I look pretty?

- What is this place--
- mother, no!

- So, every time I leave
the house...

- Exactly.
The internet.

Where are we going?

- I found you a real job.
One that involves real people,
real situations, and real money.

- But, mother, who will defeat
the huginators of collossicon

Or the prehistoric sea demons
living in our times?

- Get to work!

[Loud gulping]

- So that's
the hot fudge machine.

And this is the sprinkle bucket.

I'm gonna have to ask you
to put that out.

- Yeah. I'm going on a break.
- Oh, no, you're not.

We just opened,

And you need to be out here
so we can boost sales.

- What's the point?
The government's going to take

To build robotroids
to hunt us down

While we're on vacation
and k*ll us in our
bathing suits.

- Hmm.

Say, isn't it weird having
a teenage boy, such as myself,

As your manager?

- I'll tell you what's weird:
when my hair elevates,

You can see my brain
through a clear plastic bubble.

That, my friend, is weird.

- Yeah, ok.

Well, I think I'll go
to the back and eat
a sleeve of sugar cones.

I find them utterly delicious.
[Bell rings]

- Hello!

I would like an ice cream sundae
of the hot fudge variety.

- Yeah. We don't sell ice cream.

- Well, what is that
right next to you?

[Clicking]

- Why did you do that?

- Could you not see that
it was about to rob us?

- Uhh! I demand to see
the manager.

- Somebody threw up
in the back.

- There he is.

- I would like to register
a complaint.

This employee
has treated me rudely.

How do you plan
to make restitution?

- Well, we could sweep up
some of that vomit into a cone.

How would that suit you?

- That is extremely unsanitary,
and unflavorful.

I would like to fill out
a customer survey card.
Right now!

- Ok. Fine. I'll read it.
You give me the answers.

"I, the customer,
was a jerk on purpose.

"I had a bad attitude
when I came in.

Agree, strongly agree,
or super-strongly agree."

- Isn't "disagree" on there?
- No. Next question.

"My demands were
unreasonable, and I presented
them with a very poor attitude

Because of my poor upbringing
on a robot farm."

- That's not what it says.
Let me see it.

[Gulp]
whoops. Somebody ate it.

- This is the worst
ice cream store in the
history of the solar system.

- Uh, here.
Have this coupon
to shut you up.

- Thank you.

What will this get me?
- My dry-cleaning.

- Thank you.
I'm sorry.

- Did I hear some g*nshots
out here?

- Yeah. That was me.

- Really?

I don't think you're gonna
work out here.

Oh, no!
- You!

[Punches landing]

- Ow! Ow! Ouch!
My little...

[Zorak laughing]

- Hey, dad.
What are you doing here?

- Well, son, your mother
forced me to get a job.

Aren't you proud of that?
- And how!

My dad--telling all this
ice cream what to do.

Assistant teller of all this
ice cream what to do?

Undercover agent specializing
in investigating flavors

For flavor command
down at frozen headquarters?

- Yeah. I wish.

- It's ok, dad.
I still love you.

Brak, "love" is a word
that once spoken to a woman

Cannot be retracted,

Because they remember
those things

And they often marry you for it.

Then the next thing you know,
you take exit 42b,

Turn left and go
.2 miles for the best
chicken biscuits in town,

And all because the best shoes
from the best shoe designers

Are always 30% off.

- What's that mean, dad?

- It means turn your house
into cash.

[Shrieking]

Holy crap!
They do wear hats.

- Aah!
[Bell rings]

Ow! Ow ow ow! Ow!

- Aah! Did you see that?
They ate him in one bite!

- I can't say I blame them.
He was sweating pure fudge.

- All right.
I'm leaving.

Suckers!

- He made it, dad.
Let's make a run for it.

- It'll never work, son.

Everyone knows the back door
maneuver only works once
on giant k*ller ants.

- Then what are
we going to do?

- Well, if that damn ice cream
had not tried to rob me,

We would still have some a*mo
left to defend ourselves with.

- Can't you go outside
and reason with them?

[Shrieking]

- I don't think so.

- [Sighs]
I guess it's over, then.

- Well, technically,
it's not over.

First, they have to break in
and chase us down.

They'll probably get you first,

Because you'll stop
to sing a song about it.

- That's a good idea.

♪ Doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ Doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo-- ♪

- Hey, wait a minute!

Are those skis?

So, whose skis?

- What do you mean?

You want to know which one of us
owns the skis

Or which one of us likes
to ski the most?

'Cause I think it's me
but, you know, charlie
thinks it's him.

- Well, we'll just see
about that,

If we ever find a boat.

I will out-ski you all!
Really!

- He's just pissed off
we don't have a boat.

Dudes, if we could ski,
we would totally ski in peace.

- Hey, giant ants with
car-destroying laser beam eyes,

My dad has a boat.

- We are going to make
a kabillion dollars with
these giant skiing ants.


[Roars]

- Banana, banana.
- Yes. Ha ha ha!

- Banana, banana, banana...
- Ha ha ha!

The internet.
- Suckers!

- Banana.
- Ha ha ha!

The internet.
Everybody...

- Banana.
- The internet.