02x04 - President Dad

[bunniefuu]

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Give me my mail!

Screw you!
It's mine!

Zorak, just give him
his mail.

Brak is not enjoying
this game.

Come and get me, jerk!

Aah!

Oh, come on, y'all.

Let's do
something fun.

Aah!

Aah!

I still got
your mail! Ha!

♪ Da da da da
dee dee dee dee ♪

Mother, do they make
high-heeled shoes for men?

I'm asking
for a friend.

[expl*si*n]

Brak, what the heck
is going on out there?

Oh, zorak's
playing

A new game
he made up

Called "I steal
your mail
and keep it."

He didn't get
our mail, did he?

No. I went out
and got it early
this morning,

Before zorak
made bail.

Good work. Take
the rest of the day off.

Oh, honey, it looks
like you got another letter

From the neighborhood
association.

Oh, just
throw it away.

Dear, you better
read this one.

It says,
"final notice."

Oh, go ahead.
Let's hear it.

I don't know why I put up
with this bullcrap,

A man of my stature.

"Dear neighbor,

"Despite
numerous warnings,

"You continue to violate
neighborhood rules

"By retrieving
your morning paper

Wearing only
european-style briefs."

I sent them
a letter about that.

"If, as your
letter explained,

"You must continue
this practice
for medical reasons,

"Please bend
at the knee

"Rather
than the waist.

"Some things
are better left
a mystery.

"This is your final
notice regarding
this matter.

Sincerely, galrog."

Who does this galrog
think he is?

Well, he's president
of the neighborhood
association, dear.

Oh, is he?
Well, how come

No one has
ever seen him?

He just sits
in his cave,

Firing off letters
telling me what to do.

Ha! "Cut your grass,
clean your gutters,

Put your pants back on."
Blah, blah, blah, blah!

Honey, I think
you're overreacting.

No, no, no.
Not this time, I'm not.

I'm tired of being
pushed around

Like a stolen
shopping cart

Full of rotten
pumpkin meat.

It's time I did
something about this.

What you
gonna do, dad?

I'm going to run
against galrog

For president!

Holy gherkin
pickles, pop!

Are you really?

I'm going to run,
I'm going to win,

And there will be
some changes around here,

Not all of them
for the better either.

And if my subjects
don't approve,

Well, that's
too stinking bad,

Because I am
the king now!

Don't you mean
president?

Woman, must you
always bring me down

When I'm at the apex
of my passions?

I'm not sure if this
is such a good idea.

Galrog has done
an excellent job
as president.

The neighborhood's
clean. It's safe.

Blah, blah, blah.

Wow! President dad.

Can we have an army
of guerrillas?

Because that would
be fantastic, man.

Draft a proposal.
I'll see what I can do.

Fantastic!

Come on, brak.
Let's get started.

We have
much work to do.

Narrator: later on,
when it was evening...

Mother, listen
to this story

I had planted
in the paper.

[Ahem]

"President galrog
has changed

"The speed limit
in the neighborhood

"To 140
miles per hour.

"if you
don't like it,

"then stay off
my friggin' streets,
galrog said.

and bite me
while you're at it."

I wrote that myself.
What do you think?

Do you really
think lying

Is the right way
to go about this?

That's politics, baby.
The best liar wins.

Oh, look. My commercial
is coming on.

Man, voice-over:
dad promises sunny days

And perfect health
for everyone.

Galrog wants to destroy
your beloved pets

With pet bombs that he makes
in his evil garage.

Dad promises
to give free money

To anyone who wants
some extra money.

Galrog wants to take your money
and buy a golden knife

So he can stab you with it
in the heart.

Dad is a loving father
and a faithful husband.

Just listen.

Dad is a good father
and very sexy, to boot.

He'd be the perfect man
for the job...

any job, ladies.
Ha ha ha!

I never said that.

Quiet. You're
missing it.

Galrog doesn't have
a family.

He's a bachelor...
If you catch my drift.

And he's letting
the neighborhood

Go to hell in a handcart,
my friend.

Galrog said
the world's
oldest profession

Is cool in this
neighborhood,

Suckers.

I received assurances
from mr. Galrog

That a young
entrepreneur,
such as myself,

Would not
be inhibitated

By the authorifications
in this particular location.

Galrog is
wiggity-whack
with our industry,

Suckers.

Scenes like that
will not happen

In this neighborhood
when I'm the president.

I'm here...for you.

Quite so much.

My goodness.
That was nothing
but a pack of lies.

Hey, how about
that zorak?

For the money, I thought
he was pretty good.

By the way, don't expect
any more mail this week.

I am very disappointed.

I didn't think even you
would stoop this low.

I'm going to bed.

Ah, someone feeling
a little frisky now?

Oh, please.

Hey, dad, I've
been working

On a new
campaign song.

You want
to hear it?

I'm not in the mood
right now, son.

Well, I'm
pretty much

Going to
do it anyway.
Here we go!

♪ That's the one,
don't you know ♪

♪ Scoop-a-doodle
daddle-deedle-do ♪

♪ Now, I'm not sure
what he can do ♪

♪ But he knows
the beedle-deedle ♪

♪ And the biddle-
daddle-shoo-pop ♪

♪ Everybody in the house
say dad-a-do ♪

[Horn playing]

♪ Like your love for
the daddle-diddle-doh ♪

[Horn playing]

♪ Baddle-diddle-daddle ♪

♪ Vote for dad ♪

Brak, you've done it.

You captured my essence
with a classic jazz flavor.

Brilliant!

Now let's see what
I'm doing in the polls.

Finally, the latest polls
show dad leading

Incumbent galrog
by a significant margin.

This has prompted galrog
to accept dad's offer

To a televised debate.

Galrog has not appeared
in public for over 1,000 years.

Wow! That's a long time.
Good night.

[Singing]

What is that noise
you're making?

Are you trying
to jam my circuits?

Because you will fail!

Oh, I'm sorry,
mr. Thundercleese.

I'm all excited
because I'm on my way

To watch my dad win
the big debate
with galrog.

Your father
is a fool.

How dare you
speak of your future
president like that?

I won't hear of it!

Your father doesn't know
what he's getting
himself into.

Galrog is not only
a wonderful and effective
neighborhood president,

He is also
a very dangerous entity.

Come again?

Hundreds of years ago,
before he settled
into retirement,

Galrog was a terrible
planet-devouring monster.

Huh?!

No one, not even armies,
could defeat him.

Of course, that was
before the days of...

Thundercleese!

Chorus:
♪ thundercleese ♪

Wow! That was neat.
Do it again.

No!

Oh, man.

Galrog's tenure
as president
has tamed his rage.

If he were to lose
this election,

Who knows what fury
he will unleash.

Your father
is in grave danger!

Oh, no! I've got
to get to the debate
and save my dad!

[Crickets chirping]

[Panting]

Mom, I've got to
stop the debate.

Where's daddy?

Oh, he's about
to go onstage.

What's
the problem, dear?

Thundercleese
just told me

That galrog is
a terrible monster,

And if he
loses to dad,

He's gonna eat
dad and everybody,

Especially dad!

Oh, dear.

He's got to
lose, mom!

He's got to lose
to live!

[Sobbing]

You know what, brak?

I don't think
you have to worry.

Have you ever
really listened

To your father,
the things he says?

Of course
I listen to dad.

He's the smartest
guy I know.

You really are
a chip off
the old block.

Who the what?
Block? What block?

Let's just watch
the debate, dear.

Trust me. Everything
is going to be fine.

Announcer: welcome,
ladies and gentlemen.

Let's meet
the candidates.

First the challenger, dad.

[One person applauds]

Oh, your father
looks so handsome.

You know
what's surprising?

He's much taller
in person.

And now please welcome

Your neighborhood association
president...galrog.

[Applause]

He didn't even wear
a tie. What a clown.

Grr...

Dad will present
his opening statement.

You've all seen
my commercials.

You've read
the papers.

I don't even know
why we're here.

Just vote for me,
I will win,

And that will be that.
Your turn, big boy.

Grr!

Galrog wants
to discuss
the issues.

Issues? Sure.
Fine. Go ahead.

What's
on your mind?

What are you
going to do about
the sidewalks?

Sidewalks?

Who uses sidewalks?
Ha ha. Not me.

I will tear them all up

And make a giant pile
of jagged concrete

For the kids
to play on.

[Audience boos]

Galrog would repair
the sidewalks

And build a new park
for the children
to play in.

[Applause]

Sure, hot dog. Spend
all the money on yourself.

Hey, do you
believe this guy?

Grr! How would
you improve

Our neighborhood
security watch?

I have never
heard of it.

I like to watch
the tv, though.

As president,
I would use my power

To unscramble a couple
of those channels

At the top of the dial.
You know the ones.

It's so frustrating.
I'm a visual guy.

I like picture
with my sound.

What about
the sewers?

You say sewers.
I say water slide.

Enough of this!

Ladies
and gentlemen,

I have been a fair
and efficient
president

For over
a thousand years.

This man
offers you nothing

But empty promises
and slander.

He's dragging
my good name
through the mud!

"Galrog" a good name?
No, no.

Lawrence.
Now, there's a name

You can set
your watch by.

What do you say, folks?
Huh? Lawrence?

Man: how about stanley?
Or willard?

I like "galrog"
better than that.

Ed?

Grr! I will
destroy you!

Just like you did
all the pets

With your pet bombs
you built in your garage.

I don't have
a garage.

My wife turned it
into a sewing parlor
centuries ago.

Your wife?
Who do you think

You're fooling,
mister...bachelor?

She's right
over there.

Hi, honey.
You're doing great.

You show 'em,
daddy.

You see, neighbors,
this man's campaign

Is based on nothing
but lies.

Exactly. And that's
why I'm going to win.

I can't believe
I lost. 14 To one?!

Mother, you voted
for galrog?

I went with
my gut, babe.

What can I say?
I like sidewalks.

Well, you know what
I'm about to say.

I'd rather have
a live dad than
a dead president.

Speaking of which,
can I get you to sign

The back of this check?

Ah, you want
my autograph.

Uh...yeah, sure.

But write "thundercleese."

Thundercleese: where are you?
I want my paycheck!

Hey, put a rush
on that, will you?

Brak: ♪ so long, folks,
see you soon ♪

♪ Hope you loved
the show ♪

♪ Come on next time
if you liked it ♪

♪ But if you didn't like it,
then watch something else ♪

♪ Oh, yeah,
oh, yeah, yeah ♪