01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

The prophecy...

Take it. This is...

The Chosen One who will save the world
from the Malaise.

Yes, I know.

Laure Esposito.

Fear not.

I am an alchemist

and my mastery of this science
may perhaps save you

by the use of dead cells.

We gather this powerful energy
from infected cells.

It has allowed me to live
with the Malaise for centuries.

Although there was a price to pay.

You won't suffer these undesirable
effects thanks to my new invention:

The Dead Cells Aspirator.

But beware!
If you do not fill it continually,

you will succumb to the Malaise!

Oh poo, I'm all out.

We're going to need your Chosen One.

Yes, he's dumb as a box of rocks,
but we've no choice.

I heard that!
I'm gonna whoop your a*s!

Just like you whooped

the Knights of the Royal Hand?

If you mean those losers who turned me
into a stone?

It was a very elaborate setup, OK?

Those losers, as you call them,
will all need to be k*lled.

What?

The king's power is protected
by his five fingers.

The Guardians of the Royal Power:

Ringalus, collector of taxes,

Indexa, guardian of justice,

Thumbo, striker of coins,

Pinkyus, head of the army,

and finally, Middelus,
head of royal security.

All five fingers must be k*lled,

in order to pierce the king's armor.

Unbelievable!
Now we're accepting sub quests?

What? Subtexts?

No.
I said "sub quests".

Gosh!

She's leaving us.

No! Laure, don't die!

How will I find the sword without...

You! Make yourself useful for once.

Fill this jar with dead cells
and return before sunset.

I'm not your b*tch.

Before sunset!

And filled to the brim!

Don't speak like that to the Chosen One!

There you go!

Oh, f*ck,
this is gonna be so f*cking boring!

The truth you will always tell,
otherwise you burn in hell.

The truth you will always tell,
otherwise you burn in hell.

You lied, Laure.

I am your punishment.

I had no choice.
The Chosen One refused his fate.

A lie is a lie.

No exceptions!

You have sullied the prophecy.

Because of you, the world is doomed!

Like your parents before you...

Dad? Mom?

No! No!

- No!
- You lied, Laure.

No...

Hell's bells!
The transformation has started.

I hope that imbecile returns in time.

Then the ugly old b*stard tells me,

"Go and collect dead cells."

I'm the Chosen One, not some flunky!

My job is quests, derring-do.

Derring-doo-doo!

- Good one! "Doo-doo!"
- Doo-doo!

One last beer, then I'm outta here, OK.

Here's to the prophecy.
Hip-hip...

Pipe down!

- What?
- You're annoying everyone!

- Yeah? I'm annoying everyone?
- Hey! Watch it!

This is the life!
Just us guys, without that biatch.

Always whining about nothing.
"I lost my arm." "I got the Malaise."

I don't even have a body!
Do I whine about it?

I love busting her chops.

I could spend hours teasing her
just to see her furious little face.

Good old Laure.

Oh, f*ck!

sh*t! sh*t! sh*t!
What a dummy!

I'm back!

Damn! Too late!

No, it's not too late.

But it was a close call, you halfwit!

Even as a zombie,
I see you're still a grumpy b*tch!

Press the button on her hand!

Which button?

There's only one!

Oh, that button.

What happened?

You took ages.
Where the hell were you?

Well...

- Thank you, Alchemist.
- Yes, yes.

Don't forget to k*ll
all of the king's fingers.

The first of them, Ringalus,
is extremely powerful.

Yeah? What's he gonna do?
Audit our asses?

Later, Mr. Fugly.

Thanks again, Alchemist.

- Hey! Wait for me.
- You're a slow coach.

You should do a bit of cardio.


Just as I feared, that moron
is even stupider than 250 years ago.