04x06 - Juror in Court

[bunniefuu]

But, ladies and gentlemen of

The jury, I must ask: why was my
client fired from his position

In a food service job when
he was, in fact, wearing

A hair net?!

Harvey, approach please.

That wasn't the problem.

It wasn't?

No.

I think people more had an issue
with the fact that he mauled the

Entire wait staff and some folks
waiting in the drive-thru...

And the weensy burger intercom.

How could I miss that?!

Mauling!

I have nothing on mauling.

I thought the whole thing hinged
on the hair net.

He's hairy.

Gotta find some way to stall.

The guy with the crevice on his
head.

I'll point it out and everyone
will laugh.

Wait!

Wait, I've seen him somewhere
before.

Ah.

Your honor, I demand we postpone
these proceedings until we

Replace this juror, whom, I
believe, has served on every

Single one of my trials, and
therefore is tainted.

And it only took you...


Right.

Well, we'll call for a new juror
and postpone proceedings until

Such time.

Ha.

Ha ha!

So, I said, "your honor,
we need another juror," just to

Stall for time.

And he fell for it!

Ha ha ha!

Oy.

♪ Ha
uh

Who
is the man in the suit? ♪

[Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group]

♪ Who
is the cat with the beak?

Do you really want to feel him?

Harvey attorney
habeas corpus

Marvey attorney
harvey birdman

Attorney at law ♪
my associates and I would

Like to welcome you to your
internships here with us.

First topic: career growth!

I'll make her rear grow.

Ha ha.

I don't get it.

Career grow.

Re?

Huh?!

For most, the entry level
position--

Entry level position.

Ha ha.

Like the cowgirl?!

...is paralegal.

Very nice pair
of legals.

Ha ha ha ha.

You do know that makes no sense.

Mr. Potamus?

Yep?

I'd appreciate it if you
grew up.

Oh.

I'll grow up, all right.

Ha ha ha.

That's it!

In my office in an hour!

♪ You're in trouble
potty's in trouble ♪

Trouble.

She just wants to get me alone.

That's all it is, right?

Oh.

Yeah.

I'm sure that's all it is.

Ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha!

I have to call this number
after 5 p.m. To see if it is

Necessary to report for jury
duty.

Who am I talking to?

Please say no.

Please say no.

If your number is below

You don't have to report
tomorrow.

Damn!

I'm not finished.

Oh.

If your number is divisible
by 14, you don't have to report.

Damn.

If two trains left your
number at the same time headed

In opposite directions, you
don't have to report.

Damn.

If your number is 2,359 or
above, you don't have to report.

Yes!

Unless it is 2,359,
and then you do.

We'll see you at 5:45 a.m.,
Sucker!

Oh, god!

What do you think she's gonna
do?!

Um...

I think she's gonna fire you.

Fire me?!

Who died and made her boss?

Mm-mmm.

Ooh.

Her dad actually.

What would I do if I lost my
job?!

It ain't like I can stay home
and do the acrostic or embroider

Or twiddle my thumbs.

Nothing without my job!

Nothing!

[Buzzer]
hippo, get in here!

Sit.

Aagh!

Mr. Potamus,
while certain behavior was

Tolerated under my father--
daddy!

It will in no way be tolerated
under me.

I could tolerate being under
you.

What did you say?

I could...

Tolerate...

Being under you.

That is what I am talking
about!

[Whimpers]
you leave me no choice but to

Include this written warning
that clearly states that

Continued behavior like this
will result in disciplinary

Action up to and including
termination!

I can't believe what I'm
hearing.

Disciplinary...

Action.

She's coming on to me.

Have I made my intentions
clear?

More than clear.

I think I best be going.

I feel so violatated.

[Beeping]
I'm up.

I'm up!

[Crash]
oh!

Jury duty.

Oh, wait.

Who am I talking to?

[Whimpering]
I'm afraid for my career if I do

Anything.

[Sobbing]
brenda, your turn.

[Sobbing]
well, it started when my boss

Would accidentally brush up
against my chest.

That's hot.

Keep going.

Well, this group is lucky.

We need only one juror as a
replacement.

So, the odds are staggeringly
high in everyone's favor that

You will not be chosen and can
go home.

And the juror is...

Harvey birdman.

But, judge,
it can't be me!

Oh, wait.

Let me look again.

Harvey birdman.

Yes, that's what it says right
here.

Harvey bir--h-a-r-v--
but we're talking about the

Case I'm trying.

How can I sit on the jury and
try my case?

Bweeoo.

What?!

Make a copy of harvey,
would you, please?

I hate harvey birdman.

Why would I want to make another
one of him?

So he can serve jury duty.

Oh, ok--
oh, I got it--oh, ok.

And so, ladies and gentlemen
of the jury, the question is,

Did the wait staff deserve to be
mauled?

I ask you?

Oh, this is good!

Ms. Sebben, because of the
complaints that a certain

Employee has lodged--
it's potamus, isn't it?!

Well, ha ha ha ha.

We're not allowed to divulge
that.

The company has no choice but
to take some action so that we

At least look like we're
proactively handling the

Situation.

Full stop.

Well, first, you can't have
a meeting with a male

Employee without an
h.r. Witness-slash-chaperone

Present.

Ha ha ha ha.

Second, ms. Sebben, we think it
best if you change your attire.

What?!

We'd prefer it if you wore
this.

Oh!

That's not so bad.

No.

There's also this.

How dare they tell me what
to wear.

I run this firm.

Would they be doing this to me
if I were a man?

No.

What can I do?

Wait!

I know.

I'll catch potamus in his lie,
make him drop the charges, and I

Will do it as birdgirl!


But this meal voucher they gave
us is only good for $3.00.

Aha ha ha ha ha ha!

Yes!

Yes!

The mighty birdman humbled by a
chimichanga.

Wait.

That thing is 27.90?

Are you kidding me?!

That's [bleep]!

He didn't even get a fountain
drink.

Give me that.

There.

Now you owe him 8.10.

Who's that feel, huh?

And what the [bleep]
is chipotle anyway?!

We're taking charge of our
workplace, ladies.

We're gonna show them we're not
objects.

Oh.

I feel so vulnerable, so alone.

I just need some support--
like a hug--

A hug from two hot interns.

Not a side-hug,
a front-on hug...

On the copier.

[Moaning]
full-frontal interns.

[Shutter clicks]
what the?!

So...

How was your day today?

I'm under orders not to talk
about the trial.

Oh.

Oh, right.

Not even a little?

No,
not even a little.

You have to tell me how I
did!

Oh, oh.

They're getting up to
deliberate.

Uh, yoo-hoo!

Good luck, me.

Say nice things about...

Us.

Can you believe that guy,
harry whatever.

He was all...

"Sure, he mauled 'em,
but at no time was he not

Wearing a hair net."

"I'm using my serious voice
to impress you."

[Laughter]
do they always come back here

And do this?

"Hey, everybody,
I'm wearing yellow wingtips

And my fly is undone."

[Laughter]
[zips zipper]

Yeah, and he was all,
"I object.

Wouldn't you get in a blind rage
if 14 entrees were brought back

To you?"
Ha ha ha ha.

Eh, eh?

Wait.

[Buzzer]
stumpy's here.

Give me a minute.

Come on!

Almost there.

Send him in.

Mr. Potamus, this is tom from
h.r.

Oh, no!

How am I gonna blackmail potamus
with the h.r. Guy sitting two

Feet away?!

Want my paper mate?

Here!

A written apology for any
misunderstanding between us.

Thank...

You.

Open it.

Hey, hey!

Open it!

I hope it ain't a filthy
novelty card.

I've been damaged!

Open it!

She got me.

Wait!

That's a pretty good shot of
kimberly's--

Uh.

Apology accepted.

[Whirring]
hey, h.r., I drop all my

Charges.

We can sign whatever papers you
want over bloomin' pork rinds at

Boobies.

What do you say?!

Has the jury reached a
verdict?

Oh, boy!

Ahem.

I'm sorry.

We have, your honor.

We the jury
find in favor of...

The defense.

The prosecution.

Wait.

I won?

I won!

No, you didn't.

I did.

What do you mean, you did?

I was the lawyer in this case.

Yeah, but they hated you.

I know.

I was back there.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Do I know you?

Judge, you made me sit on the
jury, remember?

No, no, no.

Not you.

That other guy.

And you.

And you.

Wait, I've seen this jury
before.

Wait!

What does that mean?

Harvey, every single one of
your last 37 cases don't count.

They need to be retried before
new juries.

I declare a do-over.


Oh!

My entire career as a lawyer!

My entire existence for the past

Yeah, pretty much.

Bweeoo.

[Bell rings]
[clamoring]

Oy.

Oy.

♪ Harvey birdman

Is over ♪
open it!