01x08 - Deadomutt (2)

[bunniefuu]

On the last episode of
Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law:

Everyone, l'd like you to all give
a warm welcome to our newest partner.

No, wait a second.
He gets partner and l'm--

-He'd be lost without that dog.
-So k*ll it.

k*ll the dog.

My God, Birdman. What have you done?

Hey there, fellas. Harvey Birdman.

What do you mean,
just make friends with them?

l'm not sure l've ever seen
a tattoo of a man...

riding a woman riding a motorcycle.

And when you do that, you can't see
the motorcycle...

and she's riding....

Campari and soda.

Your call is very important to us.
Please continue to hold.

Message 307.

What are you doing here?

You k*lled my friend.

My best friend.

But l am your attorney,
and l'm going to do the best job l can...

for someone whose best friend
was k*lled by you.

The last time l checked, l'm a lawyer, too.
And, well, l'll take the case!

Jorge, you're not working it.

Anyone have a quarter for 23 pennies?

Hello, what's your name? Smidgen.

There, that's better.

-Yes?
-This is a collect phone call from...

Help!

...a prisoner
in a California penal institution.

Yes, l'll accept.

Beautiful animal. Magnificent rump.
Excuse me.

-What?
-l'm in prison!

Call Stan Freezoid.
Best criminal defense guy in the business.

l can't call him. l don't have any change.

All right. l'll bring it up at the 1 :00.

l'd like to talk to you about stud services!

Freezoid, Zarog & Skon, please hold.

One last piece of business,
and l know nobody wants to deal with it.

Secret Santa at the Christmas party:
yes or no?

Okay, but you know what that means:
we'll have to give bonuses.

Harvey Birdman!

He needs a good
criminal defense attorney.

My prediction for the outcome of this trial:

l'll leave it right here.

l hate surprises. He's....

Party poops. Have it your way.

You are the....

l'm a copy-machine service technician.

Do you want me to state my name?

l already know! No, that's all right.
You can just sit down.

Can you identify this?

lt's an electrostatic copy of....
What, is that a butt?

Did you know each imprint is unique?

No two are the same!

Like a fingerprint.

How would you characterize
this particular image?

Objection!

My darling...

this man has not been sworn
as an expert in this field.

Yeah, that's sustained.
We're gonna sustain that.

-And you are?
-A forensic pathologist.

-But your PhD was in....
-Butt prints.

You tell him, Joe! Nice job.

ln your expert opinion...

is there any conclusive way
to tell who left the image...

which we'll call People's Buttprint 18?

Only one l know.

Wing.

So do you do readings on the, you know,
how's-your-mother?

Your Honor, People's 14A, B, C, and D,
marked, you'll notice...

in blue, red, salmon, and putty.

Can you tell us what they are?

They're copies of the dog. ln the copier.

And this one would be?

God, that's his do-claw.

Are we going to ever cross-examine
any of these witnesses?

Or, here's a thought, call any of our own?

You Americans and your logic.

lf it please the court, and l think it will...

l would like to call Larry Stenchik
to the stand.

The Pope?

As an expert, l feel qualified to say that...

whoever did this
should pay dearly for his crime!

He should pay dearly for his crime!

He should pay! Pay! He must pay!

Your Honor, l'd respectfully like to have
a word with you in chambers.

Pay, pay! He must pay!

Your Honor--

You wanna see some stuff
l'm not supposed to show anyone?

-About my representation--
-Hang on.

Rome Air 5433...

l said heading 325 southwest,
you disorganized ltalian!

Hell. l'll just do it. Prego. Go on.

l don't think Mr. Falcone
has my best interests--

Boring!

Doofus!

-There was a...
-''There was a...''

-...paper jam...
-''...paper jam...''

-...see, and....
-''...see, and....''

The dog was trying to clear it,
but he's klutzy.

That's the secret. Go fast!
Then he won't be able to keep up!

Zombie guards! Seize him !

Tell me that's not fun to say.

Clear jam from tray three? Guess what?

There was no tray three!

You have 37 messages.

Phil? Harv. Yep, l'm still here.

Yep, here. ln jail.

What're you doing?

See the man with the broken heart

You'll see that he is sad

So very, very--

Sad

ls the verdict guilty or not guilty?

He asks, knowing full well the answer.

We find the defendant not guilty.

Not.... Nope! l'm never wrong.

Guilty!

Turn to your left.

Move your wing.

Turn to your right.

Wing.

Toes on the line.

Strip.

That's what l said.

Lights out!

lf only we had a thing
that could make us fly out of here.

Yeah.

Anything on the appeal?

Pay!

So that guy's the guard, right?

And that's your special friend?
What's the ''13 1 /2'' stand for?

Twelve jurors, one judge. Half a chance.

What about this one?

Step off, homes.

l was just trying to talk about your tattoo!

You wouldn't last two minutes
in my world.

d*ck and.... Jane....

Dear Birdhouse,
l never thought this could happen to me.

Set this bird free!

Wings up, Harvey. Wings up.

Teeny, tiny angel, come down
on your microscopic chariot...

and free him.

Surprise!

Did you know?
'Cause l thought you were just playing.

You knew? You didn't know?
You really didn't know?

-Stop that!
-lt's all this guy!

Five years ago, he says, ''l've got an idea.''

You should've seen the look on your face
when l said, ''Guilty.''

''You wouldn't last two minutes
in my world.''

So, l've been in prison for five years,
and it was all a practical joke?

And l'm not going to be ex*cuted?

Not on your birthday, silly.

Yeah, and we're not married!

Oh.