01x03 - Are You My Mother Wound?

[bunniefuu]

I don't know why I let her live with us.

She keeps forcing
her shitty parenting advice on me.

So the boundary setting
we talked about is not working.

How do you set boundaries
with someone who just comes at you all,

"Aren't you worried
Eva doesn't have friends?"

Okay, maybe it would help
if you thought of your mother

like an aggressive bumper sticker, okay?

You don't have to ram into it.

You just let it float by like a cloud.

No, it's too late.

She bullied me
into signing Eva up for soccer.

So now my kid hates me.

And the cleats that I bought on Amazon
are f*cking golf shoes.

Listen, when my son was six,
we did basketball at the Hennepin Y.

After, like, ten minutes he was all,

"Are we really just running up and down

trying to put that one round thing
into that other round thing?"

So I pulled him out.

No, my mom would accuse me
of raising a quitter.

Oh.

What'd your mom say?

Hi, everybody. Hi. Hi. Hi.

With my dad posted up in my guest room,

what is becoming really obvious to me

is my friggin' mom situation.

So if you're new here--

"Previously on"...

there was my bio mom
who I could not pick out of a lineup,

my foster mom, wh--

who is an actual saint,

and my dad's ex-girlfriend,

who kinda raised me
from the ages of 8 to 18

and who I never once called the M-word.

Like, not even once.

Never, never, never.

Okay. Most of us have something
called a mother wound.

I think that if you don't do the work

to heal the pain
that your mother gave you,

then you're gonna struggle
in your relationships.

Honestly, sometimes I like to think

of Lake Harriet as my mother
and just leave it at that.

Lake f*cking Harriet?

I was so there for her,

even during those
exhausting, bitchy teen years.

I appreciate that, baby.

You know, you never gave me a dime.

'Cause I had no dimes.

Oh, and what title do I get?

"The Third Not-Mom
behind Mother Superior and Lake Harriet"?

When I was eight, I had this one mom...
Hey.

...had me lighting her cigarette.

She called you Mom right there,
you see that?

She loved that.

She thought she was
Audrey f*cking Hepburn.

- Nadine.
- What?

Baby, she hasn't forgiven me either.

Oh. At least she talks to you.

From her high f*ck' horse.

Nadine, you gotta give her time.

Come on.

You know, she owes me an apology.

Mm-hmm. No doubt. No doubt.

So what are you gonna do about it?

- When?
- Well--

- Now?
- Oh.

Oh. That's nice.

Mm-hmm.
- Mm. It's a start.

Mm-hmm-mm.

Oh, oh, right there, yeah.

Uh-huh. Ah-- Oh.

Mm!

Oh, that's no fair. Come on.

Mom, you're doing it again.

I am? Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm-I'm not gonna
ask you this right now,

but do you feel like you're getting

what you need from me as a mother?

This isn't you asking right now?

Um, well--

Okay. Food.

- Mal?
- Uh, hey.

Well, I requested a no contact delivery.

Ah, well, you got full contact.

Uh... I don't know why I just said that

but here's your Vietnamese food.

Great. Thank you.

You're here to see my dad.

- I'm here to check on Edwin.
- Great. Okay, here he is.

Hey.
Hey.

My man. Uh, I didn't know
you were coming.

Well, showing up unannounced
is part of the deal.

Oh.
Yeah.

Okay, so this is private. Excuse me.

I'm gonna take this
and you can show Mal around.

Okay, but look here.

Do the thongs on delicate
and for twice the time.

Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Dear Lord.

- Okay.
- Bye.

Uh, you wanna--

Yeah.
- Yeah. Come on.

Uh, sh*t, man.

You got all the jazz greats.

Oh, yeah.

Did you know Thelonious Monk
used to be a pool shark?

Took his kid with him when he ran tables.

Uh, I bet that kid knows what's up.

Is there a pair of Stacy Adams
you don't own?

Man, I'm just getting started.

The plan is to expand my collection
as soon as I get the capital.

And my own spot.

Picking up what you're putting down.

Yeah, man.

So how's work going?

Oh, man, it's--

It's just a lot of ingredients, dawg.

Uh-- In here.

So you're working at the Parmesan Garden

on Wayzata Boulevard, right?

Oh.

Gotta come through sometime,
see you in action.

Oh, maybe give me a minute.

Before you come
checkin' on a grown-a*s man,

telling everybody about my past, right?

His fettuccine Alfredo is b*mb.

Oh, Finn, this is Mal, my grandson.

Hey.

This kid, man,
is into a whole bunch of magical sh*t.

Why don't you go get your cards, Finn?
Go ahead.

Yes. Yeah. My cards, cool.

As you can see, everything is organic.

You mean awful.

Paige, this isn't foster care.

As long as those Whole Food containers
aren't full of meth,

I don't need to see your fridge.

Right. Sorry.

It's just that I lived with a family
who put a kilo in my Barbie Dream House.

Sounds like fun for Barbie and Ken,
but rough for you.

Oh, well, it wasn't all bad.

I actually had one foster family
that I loved.

What went wrong there
was that he got out of prison

and took me to live
with his literal partner in crime.

And then when he went back in,
I stayed with her.

Nadine kept you
out of the group home, Paige.

You staying out of prison
would have done the same thing.

Come on. Now, you're always
talking about a healing.

Now you need to sit down with Nadine
and work this out.

Okay. Well--

Yeah, if she's ready to apologize.

Oh, she's been talking
about an apology for a while now.

Okay, good.

I'll see you at
the weekly pee in a cup meeting, brother.

Alright. Okay.

Have a good night.

You know...

I think you're good for him.

Oh, don't say that.

- No?
- No, no.

Okay. Okay, okay.

Well, this might be me overstepping,
but I get it,

about why you resisted so hard.

I mean, you've got this great new house

and here comes this
6'4" destabilizing force,

blasting Thelonious Monk.

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

He comes downstairs
in his PJs and he's like--

this presence, you know.

I just keep thinking,
"You're supposed to be inside my phone.

That's where you lived for years."

And also, I have his hands,
which is super weird.

He's doing great.

Thanks to you and your dad hands.

Yeah.

Good night, Paige.

Good night.

And, uh, good luck
with this Nadine person.

Oh, yes.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna need it.

I think you're right.

Alright.

Okay. Bye.
- Bye.

I like your top.

Oh. Thanks.

Your hair is very shiny.

I've been putting that
Jennifer Aniston collagen in my yogurt.

Skinny vanilla latte with one Splenda...

- Thanks.
- ...and goat milk.

Oat milk.

Y'all be puttin' anything in coffee.

It should be served simply black,

with a little bit of sugar.

That's right.

Oh. Okay.

So he tells me that you are
working at the mayor's office?

Yeah. I got my MBA.

I've done a lot since you amputated me.

Okay. Ladies.

There's been a lot of bad blood,
I understand that,

but I'm back now.

Paige, there's no reason
for this bitterness to continue.

No, yes, I'm just here
so that Nadine can apologize.

After that hit job
you did on me the other day?

Are you kidding?

I never mentioned your name.

Nadine, if my videos upset you, unfollow.

I just want a little respect.
Okay.

A lousy brunch once a year.

Maybe a thank you.

A thank you? For what?
Mm-hmm.

You act like
you're some kind of orphan.

You had a mother. Me.

Okay.

Nadine, you were scary.

Totally unpredictable.

Intense. Very, very yell-y.

Oh, please.

I gave you ten years of my life.

At a time when being a single mom
was just a drag,

not a social media venture.

Listen, y'all.

I mean, y'all going at it
like mother and daughter.

I don't know why we can't
just call this what it is, family.

Hmm.

I'm a mom now, so I'm very clear

that what I got from you
is entirely different

from what I had with Carole Nelson.

So that is why I say
that she is my mom and you are not.

Oh, is she so perfect?

'Cause Edwin says you haven't
seen her Bible-toting a*s in years.

That's true, Paige. It's the truth.

You just treat us all the same,

you ungrateful little--

I think we're done here.

Get your purse.

f*ck that woman and Daddy too.

He's defending Dollar Store Sharon Stone?

He has to, because if he sees me,

he'll collapse from the shame
of disappointing me.

- You mean us?
- Yes, us.

Why don't we see our mom anymore?

I don't know.

Wait. Let's change that.

You know what?

Let's!

No, no, no, no, no, no.
But you don't get to drive.

Yes, I do.

- No.
- Please.

- No.
- Yes.

- No. Get in the backseat.
- No, no!

Mom?
Yeah?

You think God knows
we only come to church once a year?

God grades on a curve.

This place makes me so happy, Finn,
I want that for you.

I don't usually talk about
Jesus Christ as my savior,

and Dad's church is like,
f*ck the patriarchy,

but if you need peace, it'll do.

And let's face it--

I know. I'm a mess.

I need peace or an exorcism. Or both.

You stop talking.

I didn't say anything.

Hi, Mrs. Nelson.
Hi.

- Sorry.
- Hi, Mom.

Good morning.

Welcome to worship.

You who are here in the sanctuary

and those who are joining us online.

Remember, you used to baptize
your beanie-babies in the holy water?

Yes, I wanted them
to live in God's grace.

What you got was a lotta wet plush.

Girls. Shh.

- Shh. Please.
- Sorry. Sorry.

Esti.

...have sincerity with one another.

And love, love deeply.

Behold the place and people

who gave me unconditional love,
and spankings when I needed them.

Carole taught me
that Jesus doesn't steal candy,

play with matches,

or forget to take His Ritalin.

Amen!

Who I am and the life I have now,

I owe it all to Carole.

I'm so glad you're here.

Me too.

And if it took your daddy
crashing in again

to get you back here,

well, then God bless him.

You know, she never actually cooks.

Well, Paige, you've made
such a warm and lovely home for yourself.

I really love this farmhouse sink
and these cabinets.

Thank you.

I chose that color, Mom.

It looks like something
that cute Christian couple

on HGTV would do.

You know, she's part Korean.

I do know that.

I keep track of these things.

Fu-- Man alive.

Man alive.

You okay?
- I'm fine. I'm fine.

What is "man alive"?

That's Lutheran for "f*ck."

Wow.

These are for your dad.

Oh!

Oh, he didn't tell you
that he hates hydrangeas?

No, he didn't mention that
in our many talks about flowers.

Oh.
Oh, well, you know,

there's 75 different species
of hydrangeas.

I love these.

Wow.

Ah!

Everybody, meet the world's
handsomest babysitter of ex-felons

who also has fantastic taste in music,

uh, Mal Kennedy.

Hi. I'm Carole.

Paige's mommy.

Oh, pleasure to meet you.

Whoa, Mal is delish.

Okay. Down, girl.

It's so nice that Edwin has
someone looking after him.

I mean, it's gotta be tough

reacclimating to society.

Oh, no doubt, Carole.

Uh, Edwin, if you're in need of a job,

I have a colleague
at Saving Grace Thrift Store.

His mission is hiring folks
no one else will touch.

Thanks, reverend, I'm good. Thank you.

Yeah, this man is my model parolee.

- Oh, come on.
- Okay?

He hasn't missed a single check-in

and already gainfully employed,

making pasta for people
who still eat gluten.

Is that right?

- God is good, Carole.
- Oh.

All the time.

All the time.
All the time.

Hey, Pastor Nelson,
you think I could see that card?

I might be looking for a job soon.

Well, of course, Finneas.
There you go.

Okay, everybody, please grab a plate.

Help me take this stuff
out to the dining room, okay?

Thank you.
Yeah.

- Oh.

Let me get that.
I'll get it.

No, I'll get it.
Now, baby, now--

Edwin said we were having
Sunday family dinner.

He did?

I brought vodka.

f*ck.

Hey.

- Ah! Hi. I'm Nadine.
- Hi.

Paige's mom.
Uh--

Nadine. Hi. Yes. Nice to meet you.

Ah! I know this one.

Give your glam-ma a hug.

Hi.

Oh.

Hey.

When did that woman meet my son?

He went with me to get my--

I don't care.
I don't want her in his life.

I don't want her in my life.
I don't want her in my house.

You brought her to my house,
my new sanctuary, my Sunday dinner.

You are ruining everything.

- Ruining everything.
- Yes, everything.

Paige, the woman
just walked through the door.

She just was into the family.

Oh, God.

Can't you just take a chill?

Come-- Come here.

You see?

You see these people?

They love you.

They're happy for you.

Don't you wanna be
one of the happy people?

I am happy.

Okay.

Okay. How about this?

Let's agree,

Nadine and I,
we did some f*cked-up sh*t.

Okay, I'm-I'm listening.

But your inability to forgive

is putting you and my grandson in a cage.

- No, no, no.
- Yes.

You did the f*cked-up sh*t. You.

Okay. You wanna be right

or you wanna be free?

You pick.

And thank You, Lord,

for bringing us together again.

And, Lord, we thank You
for this bountiful meal

prepared by our precious daughter Paige

who we love so much.

Mm.

And we welcome home Edwin,

who has struggled, Father God,
to live in your name,

but who, like all of us,
is reborn in Thee.

Amen.

And--
- Oh.

We thank Carole

for being the heart and soul
of this family.

In the name of the Father, and the Son,
and the Holy Ghost.

Amen.

And... thank the Lord
for all the mothers

who didn't get checks from the state

and still did a f*ck' great job.

A-f*cking-men.

Let's eat.

Paige, in her brand-new Stride Rites...

Oh, yes!

...steps off the sidewalk

right into the road.

She really wanted to
ride in that ambulance.

- Yeah.
- Why would you do that?

Yeah. The EMT looked like John Stamos.

Do you know who John Stamos is?

Luckily, Mom grabbed you
before you got clipped.

Yes. Yes, you did.

Because you were always my hero.

Aw.

How about when I took us
to that Madonna concert?

Yeah.

We wore those matching white outfits.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

We were one sharp-looking family.

Do you remember that time
that you talked the warden

into letting us see my dad?

That was Maximum Mommy Nelson.

What does that even mean?

Oh, we drove 500 miles to Leavenworth

so your mom could see your dad.

We took her twice a year.

But this visit, well, Edwin had been
moved into solitary confinement--

And Carole started thumping her Bible

and the warden's heart grew
three sizes that day.

The end.

Paige, this pot roast is tasty.

Oh, thank you. It's my mom's recipe.

Finn, can you pass the salt?

Sure.

Are you serious right now?

Seasoning my food.

Tastes like white people made it.

The recipe did come
from my mother's Swedish cookbook.

Of course.

You gave her some flavorless recipe.

I gave her a sense of style,

appreciation for fine art and education,

and she still doesn't respect me.

Oh, Nadine. Nadine.

Can I-- Can I-- Can I say,

is that we all poured
everything we had into Paige.

I even did some mothering along the way.

But this is not a competition now.

I mean, isn't it?

Maybe a competition
is exactly what this needs to be.

Ladies and gentlemen, the challenger,

Nadine Gregory,

also known as Our Lady of Shade.

Yeah!

Hey! Oh!

Ohh!

And from the legendary
House of Reformation,

Carole Nelson!

Ohh!

Jesus walks and so does Carole!

She can do all things
through Christ who strengthens her.

Oh, damn!

I forgot, the woman got schmoney-schmoves.

Hold up, Daddy's making
his presence known.

Damn right.

I was there with the hairbrush
and the grease

layin' down them baby hairs, baby girl.

Get that.

Bish, he left this hair
with white women.

Okay. Okay, that's on me.
That's on me.

I'm the first person who let you down.

Shut up and dance!

How about you dance?

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Paige?

Paige?

Baby girl, if you can't forgive Nadine,

how in the world
you ever gonna forgive me?

I want to be the kind of mother
who teaches my son

how to forgive no matter what,

even if I don't think it's possible.

And I don't know if I can do that.

Okay.

Uh--

Um--

Nadine?

I've said a lot of things
through the years,

but I think you're right,
I-I have not ever said thank you.

So

thank you for, um,

teaching me about Madonna.

And Warhol.

And

where voguing really came from.

I'm very grateful.

So-- Um--

Just thank you, thank you
for what you did do.

You're welcome.

So are you gonna start calling me Mom now?

Let's not ruin the moment.

Thank you, baby girl.

So, real quick. I just need to say...

...I don't need you
covering for me anymore.

I don't need you to be tangled up
in what I got going on.

You feel me?

Okay.

I knew it wasn't right,

but it was right, you know.

Yeah.

I appreciate you having my back, son.

I got you, Grandpa.

I can tell, son.

Oh, the, um, the card.

Take a seat. I'll clean.

- Oh, no, no, no, no. No.
- I can clean.

No, I feel like I need
to scrub the sh*t out of something.

Okay.

Well, all things considered,

I think dinner was really nice.

Yeah. Nobody got stabbed
with a butter knife.

That's what I meant by
"all things considered."

Look, you got a bunch of people

who love you,
who cared enough to stay connected

and actually fighting over you.

That is a beautiful thing.

Even if one of those people
has a Cluster B personality disorder.

Yes! Yes!

Right.

Thank you. I feel so validated.

Oh, I can validate you.

Oh, my God,
you're gonna kiss me right now.

I mean, I didn't know that I was,

- but now I am.
- Now you are.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Hey.
Hey.

I actually really liked church.

And the pot roast.

And our family.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, Finn.

Woo-hoo!