01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

Mother of god.

Standard safety footwear.

New. Well almost new.

Wrote down the brand name for you.

Might have trouble with the size,

it's only a partial.

Thanks.

- So they're showing this new

- Yeah?

If you'd like to

Enjoy yourself.

Excuse me. Head office?

There.

Up the stairs.

Come in.

Hello. Sergeant Gujska.

Hello.

I don't suppose you recall which

of your employees wears these shoes?

Yeah, I do actually.

Who?

So do I.

Come with me.

One hundred and seventeen

people from the morning shift.

Has anyone switched theirs recently,

for a new pair?

One hundred and seventeen people.

Look sir, if you had to think about it,

really rack your brains,

who'd have a motive to rob the Brykalskis?

Anyone in financial trouble?

Everyone here is happy.

- Got a band-aid?

- What happened?

No no, it's nothing.

- It's not nothing, you're bleeding.

- Nothing's wrong, it's fine.

- It's fine you don't need to worry.

- Press this on the wound.

Trust me,

it's fine. It's okay.

- Grab a first aid kit, now!

- It's fine. He'll be okay.

Really, it's nothing. It-it-it's

It's absolutely fine, I'm fine.

- I'm sure you are.

- Yeah yeah.

Uh, it's just a scrape.

- You need a hospital.

- I can't go to the hospital.

What do you mean?

I don't have insurance and

and I'd lose the day's wage.

If somebody gets sick, then

well then they don't get paid.

I I've got three kids,

I just can't.

I'm going to end up starving to death

and then I'll be laying right next to her.

Do you think Jadwiga would've wanted that?

Józef I don't really give a damn.

There's a problem with the pool.

There's no water.

- The pool is closed until further notice.

- Meaning?

Meaning go to room four,

so go downstairs then turn left.

Madam Director

I cannot afford the Eden fees.

And they don't want

to release my sister from the morgue.

How can this be? Jadwiga

was here for so many years

and and it wasn't even me

who called them.

Nothing I can do.

We've always used Eden and we've never

had any problems whatsoever.

You're the first person to complain.

Good day.

Hello?

Yes.

Yes, it won't be cheap

and it won't be easy.

But we are the best.

Hi.

- Hi.

- Where's the tattoo parlor?

There.

Hello.

Hey.

- Have you ever seen this tattoo?

- No.

- This tattoo seen it before?

- No.

Have you seen this tattoo?

Nah.

If you happen to remember something

here's my number. Gujska.

Uh, friends We're gonna take a break now,

so why not pour yourself a little drink

for that pick-me-up, and in the meantime,

I'm going to invite

our little ones up here!

- break, stay tuned

- This is for you, here you go!

Santa decided to come

at a funny time of year, in August,

so as well as toys, we also have vouchers!

Um. Vouchers for two hundred zlotys.

- What the?

- No, 300 zlotys!

- What?

- For a school starter pack!

Here, this is for you!

Mr Chairman! We're really grateful

and the kids are so happy.

We truly have no words to express

Chairman you honestly surprised us,

we didn't expect you to be decent.

Stop, stop, stop.

And our chairman is actually

with us, Mr Brykalski, what a guy!

Bravo!

How about a few words

for the microphone, Mr. Chairman?

- Just a few words, here we are.

- Wonderful!

- Bravo!

- Woo! Yeah!

Bravo!

What the actual f*ck

is going on here?

Mr. Chairman!

Well

because for me

the most critical thing is the worker.

The workers and their wellbeing.

Brykalski is without

a doubt the best boss.

Cheers!

100 years,

100 years may he live

100 years, 100 years may he live

Just wanna say how grateful we are. Uh

I Halinka, my wife, and Oskarek.

Perhaps it

wasn't that obvious before

because personally I prefer

well, modesty.

- Staying in the shadows.

- Modesty!

Staying in the shadows!

A good atmosphere

on the factory floor means good results.

And better organization, means

better production. Thank you!

100 years, 100 years may he live!

Find me the f*ck who paid for all this.

It wasn't you?

Lemme get this straight

We're in hiding.

I'm making sacrifices

I'm drinking hideous coffee, I bring the

average age down to a hundred and three

Mm?

The only topic

of conversation in here

is urinary incontinence.

And you're leaving.

You're the one in hiding.

We're very kindly keeping you company.

Besides, we've got

urgent business to attend to.

When I wanted to leave,

that witch g*dd*mn drugged me!

Kinga would you just sit up?

I mean, you're the reason we're here.

And you're complaining the most!

Super.

I'll stay here. Doing nothing.

Excuse me!

Can you help me?

I promised to take my friend to Eden,

but I'm not feeling well.

Could you help me?

To Eden?

That's where I'm headed.

I wouldn't go if I were you.

I really wouldn't.

Uh, you can tell her

about it on the journey there,

just make sure you speak

very slowly, clearly

Oh, and repeat everything

twice or even three times.

Zuzanna.

Józef.

Józef.

Józef.

I've said this before,

we can't do it any cheaper.

I'm already doing it at cost.

Besides, you don't have a plot

at the cemetery yet, so

What do you mean I don't have a plot?

Both my parents' grave are here.

A sunny spot under the linden trees,

with a small bench.

And there's enough room there

for my sister and for me.

Uh

Would you mind telling

me the plot number?

Sixty-one.

Let me see.

They're in the first row.

Why don't you check under

the Majewskis.

Somebody else is there.

Somebody else!?

Thirty years I have been coming here.

And I paid the fees, every year.

Where will I put her? Jadwiga?

Wha what about my parents?

I'm sorry sir but you're

gonna need to buy a plot.

How can I help you ma'am?

Zuzanna.

Józef, why don't you show him

where your parents are,

I'm sure this can be cleared up.

Yes, I'll show you.

Uh

I'll wait, I don't mind.

Right

Mm. Wh Okay.

REGISTER OF BURIALS

f*ck me

There they are, thanks.

Uh they're for.. my um

Mister?

Józef?

He's down at the cemetery.

Will you take me to him?

FIRE DEPARTMENT CHIEF

THE MAYOR'S MOTHER

- Are you coming?

- I'm coming, I'm coming.

A sunny spot,

under the linden trees,

with a small bench.

There has to be a linden linden

Mr. Rawski,

it's time to give up the act.

Mr Józef's looking for his parents' grave,

but we both know he won't find it.

- Because it was never there.

- It was.

But then you went

and dug it up two months ago.

And you got a lot of money for it too.

That's just bullshit.

Mayor Karwowski's mother rests there.

I don't know

what you're talking about.

Hm?

In place of the Jackowski's, Raks, Jopa,

Kujawska and Szymánska,

we have in order: Dudkiewicz, Chief

of the local fire department,

Nowacki the manufacturer giant,

Professor Olewicz

Sierkowski,

director of the Forest Ministry,

Wojtasik

That chain of pharmacies,

that's him, isn't it?

Shall I keep reading?

Think I'm having a heart attack.

Linden

Under the linden trees.

With a small bench.

Wait

Mr. Józef!

Mr. Józef, we're we're going to fix this.

- Where are my parents?

- In heaven I'm sure.

Mr Józef, we have truly exceptional

accommodation for you.

Might I suggest here

under the birch tree.

It's very close to the gate,

sheltered from the wind

And we'll add a bench.

Obviously, everything will be included

in the cost of the allow

And there'll be a trumpeter.

- What?

- Oh good! She really liked the trumpet.

Uh, that'll be

on the house as well.

Um we were very fond of Ms. Jadwi

Nevertheless to say, I mean

- Mrs Jadwiga was our favorite cli

- Mr Józef I must get going.

I just wanted to look around. In advance.

Well, she's very nice.

And she tries really hard. But there's

just nothing going on up there.

See just how happy Józef is?

Jadwiga's happier.

Well, Madam Director will pay.

Ma-ter-i-als.

Um

Two thousand.

For labor, let's say

Oh

Let's say ten thousand.

MATERIALS 2,000

LABOR

Father, add four for hazard pay.

Mister Rawski.

Why're you still

listening to that Rawski?

Shh.

Six three, two, one.

Got anything for me?

I can report the investigation

of the robbery is moving forward.

Right, and?

The footprints

didn't provide a breakthrough.

no remarkable characteristics,

the dogs didn't follow the trail.

Besides, there are no witnesses,

the Brykalski's testimony

is contradictory, but the anthropologist

thinks it's a female forearm.

Oh right a woman then.

- Alright but she won't've been on her own.

- A woman is not a dog.

They can be perfectly

successful without a pack.

- Anyway I don't think I need to

- You don't.

remind you.

Ah.

Is this from the last break-in?

The guy with the hooves

doesn't really do it for me but

those puppies are

well painted, am I right?

There's puppies?

GREEN GLOVE g*ng

RAMPAGE!

Kinga's tattoo isn't our

biggest problem at the moment.

More coffee?

You've gotta be kidding me.

They're trying to pin Marczewski on us.

It was stolen

from a private collection at night.

Do you know who did it?

- The Chariot.

- The Chariot?

The Chariot.

You said you wanted to leave,

so go. Change.

What, Zuza?

She got a Chariot.

All right, get changed.

God that's good.

Just divine.

Have you ever wondered

what paradise is like?

You know, that eternal

happiness after death.

Alicja, not now. We're working.

The priest says there's been a mix up and

on Tuesday there are two funeral

masses scheduled for 1 o'clock.

He can't split himself in two.

Excuse me ladies.

Sister, would you put the flowers there?

Right then, whose husband was it?

Mine.

Uh, one after the other.

Staś was a nasty character.

It was a relief when he left.

Uh, you mean when he died.

No, when he left me for her.

But now he's dead.

Yes, he's kicked the bucket

and finally freed us both.

Yeah. At first we held

a bit of a mutual grudge,

but in the end, we decided

that we wanted to to bury

our hatchet together.

that we wanted to bury

Staś in the proper way.

The Christian way, of course.

Hold on a moment, I thought

we said we were gonna burn him.

Incineration is permitted,

in the Catholic religion.

May I ask what decision you have come to?

I.. don't mean to rush you but we're

extremely we're extremely busy, so

A coffin. And put

him safely in the ground.

Incinerate him.

And we'll dump his ashes in the river or

Forgive me for interrupting, but

your husband was baptized, yes?

Twice.

Unfortunately,

the first baptism didn't take.

In that case,

i have a proposal for you ladies.

I invite you to take the steps over there,

down to the basement, where we have

an exhibition of coffins, and maybe

you ladies can choose something and

in the meantime, I can conduct my business

with the sister here.

Of course, yes.

It's supposed to be quilted,

but it's hard.

It's terribly uncomfortable here.

Are you really hot too?

You'll be way

cooler next door. On the pull-out tray.

For god's sakes,

he's coming.

- Have you ladies chosen?

- Uh, we're trying them on.

Beautiful coffins.

Thanks to them,

you'll soon be able to send a package,

take photos, find a lost item,

and even move around.

Drones are the future.

Drones.

They say drones are the future.

Their charge will last

up to 24 hours, depending on size.

Bon appétit.

- Wanna play "Corpses"?

- Mother of God, why?

So it goes like this:

someone reads out an obituary,

but importantly,

they omit the age of the deceased.

Whoever guesses

how old they were wins!

OUR AFFAIRS

Hmm, Teresa,

would you be a doll and help me out,

because as you can see,

I have a hard time reading.

And on top of that, you also

have trouble with your eyesight.

OBITUARY NOTICES

There's only one

access road to the Brykalskis.

Assuming the paramedics didn't rob them

at the critical time, that leaves us with

five cars.

Not many.

Out in the sticks at night.

During the weekend.

No traffic.

Let's check the owners of those cars!

Kaśka?

- Whose go is it?

- Stefan's.

Uh, yeah.

So "On August twelfth, Jerzy Mencel

very tragically passed away,

reported the devastated,

and also completely grief stricken,

national Polish hunting association.

How are all of you betting?

I say forty-eight.

Fifty-two.

Sixty at most for a tragic hunter.

I'll wager sixty seven.

Thirty-six and a half.

Well I'm gonna say eighty-nine.

Correct!

The old b*stard was 89 years old.

- Oh!

- Bravo.

And d'you know that

Zuza once had a

she had a 62-year-old,

who was taken to

his grave by his great-grandchildren!

And do you remember

you got Jan's unfortunate accident?

Which was announced

by the "poor grieving fiancée."

- And the guy was ninety years old.

- Well I respect that.

So listen up guys,

I'm afraid Alicja won!

Eight points in total.

In second place we have Zuza

with only three points less,

and in third place, Zofia!

I came in bottom,

still buying you some

cognac for your tea!

Wonderful!

That sounds great!

- Bravo, bravo!

- Cool!

Wanna take a walk?

Pigwówka.

Would my obituary

somehow increase uh your chances

in that game? In Corpses.

Well how old are you?

I'm eighty-one.

I got a PhD in philosophy

in the year '62.

Got my post-doctoral

ten years after that.

Terrible.

I'm very sorry.

And what about your family?

I've been a widower for the past

30-I-don't-know something years.

No kids, or grandkids.

Well I'm sorry.

It won't get

that many points though, that's for sure.

Maybe if your mother posted your obituary.

Cheers to the deceased.

Perseids.

Aquariids.

You're an astronomer.

Fighter pilot, actually.

Oh. A job like that

- requires many sacrifices.

- Mm.

And who will post your obituary?

My friends.

No family?

They are my family.

It's been a long time since

I've seen my son, unfortunately.

And it's not his fault.

Janek.

Zuza.

And why did you study philosophy?

Well, I'd always wanted to be

a proper tradesman.

It's very, very, very quiet

The sun warms naked bodies ♪

The sea and the sky shine brightly

I'm good oh, I'm so comfortable ♪

I eat sweet, sweet grapes ♪

Do you know darling

- that it's been eight years?

- What are you doing here?

Cicadas on Cyclades ♪

In the night the stars fall ♪

And the disco plays ♪

What do you want?

I wanted to say thanks for all

of those packages that you sent me.

What packages?

I was kidding.

Now let's get serious.

Give me back my money.

Don't have it. You're not getting sh*t.

You do have it.

You can f*ck off.

Cicadas on Cyclades ♪

There's no need for that.

Come on, you know that they're not gonna

imprison me twice for the same thing.

Sweetheart

♪ In the night the stars fall ♪

All I'm doing is making

an honest business proposition.

And seeing as in the end it turned out

that we were just business partners

Half.

And you'll leave?

What the f*ck is going on down there?

I'll get in touch.

Cicadas on Cyclades ♪

♪ In the night the stars fall ♪

♪ And the disco plays ♪

♪ Cicadas on Cyclades ♪

♪ Cicadas on Cyclades ♪

♪ In the night the stars fall ♪

♪ And the disco plays ♪