02x28 - Episode 28

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: Previously on Big Brother.

Monica won her first Head of Household competition,

and nominated Nicole and Hardy for eviction.

Will reveled in the fact that he would cast the deciding vote.

I hate them both, so to me this is the greatest

thing that could have happened.

NARRATOR: Nicole and Hardy struggled with the realization

that their once-powerful alliance was coming to an end.

Stop crying.

I'm sorry.

NARRATOR: But neither of the nominees

was ready to call it quits.

You seriously aren't going to give me a haircut

unless I vote to keep you?

That's a half million dollar haircut.

NARRATOR: Nicole and Hardy made their final pleas.

If I stay, I lose my little brother, my biggest ally,

and one of the most wonderful people I have ever gotten

to know in my entire life.

You've gotta do what you gotta do, and I understand that.

That's what I've done since I've gotten here.

NARRATOR: Will chose to cast his eviction vote

face-to-face with the nominees.

I finally decided to evict Hardy.

See you, babe.

Thanks, guys.

All right.

I'm so sorry, Hardy.

It's all right.

NARRATOR: The three remaining houseguests

began part one of the ultimate Head of Household competition,

with Will taking an early lead.

JULIE: Congratulations, Will.

NARRATOR: How will the houseguests

react to Hardy's eviction?

And who will win part two of the Head of Household competition?

Find out tonight on Big Brother .

[theme music playing]

I absolutely thought he was gonna evict me today.

In the last couple of hours, he hasn't been able to look at me.

I really did wait till the last minute

to make my decision.

The simple fact of the matter is,

Nicole's been annoying me a lot lately,

she's been threatening me a lot.

I'm not yelling, this is my speaking voice.

Come on, calm down, really.

The mood is going to be very intense.

[sighing]

God, can't quit shaking.

[music playing]

I felt it was very disrespectful of Hardy

and Nicole to not address me.

They were given a perfect opportunity

to plead their case as to why they should stay,

and neither of them did that.

I'm not going to address Will, I'm going

to address everybody else.

Mine's a little long, I'm not going to address will either.

First and foremost--

They both started whining, you know,

they both started sniveling.

I think that really said a lot for their character.

This was a perfect opportunity for them to stand up,

and say something to me in my face,

rather than whispers behind my back,

rather than yelling at me in the backyard.

[inaudible]

I swear to God, Monya, it was so crazy.

I was so not even bothered by leaving,

I really thought-- did you see what Will did?

When he was saying his thing, and he said,

therefore I vote to evict, and he went like this to me.

I purposely wanted to scare Nicole, so this evening

when I was making my eviction, I sort

of tended to lean toward her.

I finally decided to evict Hardy.

He was trying to play mind games with us,

so, you know, it's Will.

I tried to mix it up, come on.

I told you not to worry, I was just trying

to mix it up a little bit.

We mixed it, right?

Mixed it up, right?

Mm.

Boy, I thought you were gonna jump out of the chair.

I'm joking.

Hardy was going to run away with this game, you know?

He was going to win the next round, and I was going to get--

it was going to be me this week if it wasn't him.

I mean, it's true, I hold him responsible for the eviction

of Shannon.

That's a very smart, strategic move,

but I can't get over it, right?

Nope.

I'm gonna go do a set.

Do you need help with anything?

Nope.

My tricep is freakin'--

Yeah, well, you really need to work on your shoulders.

I know.

I thought they took the decision surprisingly well.

I guess they really had no other choice of how to take it.

The last time I was in the damn

red chair, I was freaking out.

And this time, I was like, so cool.

That chair don't feel good, no matter what.

Honest to God, Monya, it was so OK today though.

Cool.

I'm not surprised of he chose.

That's something he promised, or said he would do,

if he got the opportunity, for Shannon, and he did.

Well that sure enough was a humdinger show.

Yeah.

Like, whoa.

It's like, whoa.

It's like, whoa.

It's like, whoa.

See, I thought you totally wanted to do that on your own.

What's that?

When you came back out and did your vote live.

I'm like, oh, I've got nothing to hide now.

Let's go.

[laughing]

[music playing]

Thought I had a two-point lead.

When are you gonna start trusting me?

Come on.

Jeez, I don't know, it's only been weeks.

[laughing]

Nonetheless, nonetheless, whatever.

I'm not going to have this discussion with you every day

for the next [bleep] week, so--

Well, that's good, because somebody only has one.

I mean, listen.

You mean when?

Tuesday?

No, I mean, when we advance to the next round.

Oh.

Stick your finger in there.

My point is that it's not stressful,

do you understand what my point?

I don't want to get any hot peppers.

Very good.

Ooh, a little spicy.

Will already has it in his mind,

or is trying to plant it in my mind-- who knows the way

the great manipulator works--

that it's best to take him into the finals with me,

and me, him.

Will can't win that HOH.

He cannot.

I can't even think about it.

You need to start thinking about it, girlfriend,

I'm telling you right now.

Gonna be no holds barred.

Mm-hmm.

I'm catching no anxiety attacks about it today.

I'll do that Sunday.

I'm a force to be reckoned with, and I think they

don't take me lightly anymore.

I think that right now, they damn sure don't

know what I'm going to do next.

[music playing]

It's really hard to find any time

to have a conversation with Monica,

because you don't cross that line with her.

She has a respect line.

Like, I tried busting him on that a few weeks earlier.

I was like, dude, you've thrown every competition,

don't [bleep] tell me you haven't.

And he's like, no, no, I haven't.

We can go through them one by one.

And you know him, he has a great excuse

for every single one of them.

I let her know that he threw all the competitions,

which she didn't know.

I wanted her to realize that, and to realize that he thinks

he's sitting pretty right now.

And as far as I'm concerned, he's not.

And none of this dawned on me until now.

Now I'm sitting here going, he doesn't even care.

He doesn't even care.

Doesn't care, he's going to get second place

no matter what, he thinks.

So I'm just letting you know that, because--

Then don't get me going.

Well, I'm just--

well, you didn't know he threw all those [bleep] competitions.

No, that I didn't know.

So his-- his whole little losing everything strategy has

worked to his advantage, because he's thinking he's got

second place no matter what.

And I'm not telling you anything different,

I just want you to know that information.

I got it.

'Cause l telling you right [bleep] now--

Why'd you tell me about that [bleep] now?

It's just because I'm so angry about it.

I tried to make a point to let her know that if I win HOH,

I'm throwing him out, to hopefully

make her feel the same way.

Her ethics are very strong, Monica's are.

I don't know which is stronger.

She's always said that money is the root of all evil, and blah,

blah, blah.

So I'm not sure where she would be sitting.

Do me a favor, if you bring that up to him,

do it as your own knowledge.

You know how I'll wait till an ample opportunity if I need to.

Otherwise, I'll just sit back.

I know, I'm just saying, I don't want--

I don't want to be involved in the busting of it, that's all.

But you know what?

Most likely I won't even--

roll it to him like that.

I found it very odd for Nicole to have that conversation

with me, knowing that--

like she said, you don't have to answer,

you don't have to say, you know, reply back--

that I don't co-sign.

When I say co-sign, I don't-- you know,

I'll just go, uh-huh, yeah.

Because I'm not going to put out my whole card like that.

You know, just to see--

I think she was feeling me, see what I know,

do me a little talk, you know, that kind of thing.

If I can get in to phase three of HOH,

gonna win that, and stand up on live TV, and go--

played a great game.

I get $, for taking you in.

Live with you for another week.

Bye-bye.

Don't let the door hit you in the a*s.

Gonna be some very big dramatics.

The bottom line is I've been playing a certain way,

and it's gotten me this far, I am not changing it now,

I'm sorry.

Will gets under her skin no matter what

anyway, because she still feels betrayed.

I'll lose $,, and have Monica get it, just so that

[bleep] gets second place.

Just so you he won't-- just throw it in his face.

Uh!

Uhh!

[music playing]

In this house, it's really feast or famine.

Sometimes we get meals catered to us, whatever we want.

Oh my God, it looks amazing.

Other times, we have to eat peanut butter and jelly.

So I'd like to eat healthy, I'd like to eat good.

Nothing man, this blows.

We've had weeks where we only-- we get an abundance

of only a few things.

And then we've had other weeks where

we get an abundance of things, but a very

small amount of them. - A lot people.

This isn't-- this isn't enough food.

I'll make a--

no.

The challenge within the challenge

of the game, to put good, interesting food on the table

every night, when we sometimes don't have enough to make

it through the week.

I often have to be Survivor-esque.

Uh-uh!

Uh-uh!

And ration the food, you know, I have this--

I have to make the menu in my head for the entire week.

That sucks.

My worst food memory is PB&J, the first time.

I'm gonna have six a day.

One for breakfast, one for snack, one for lunch--

I had PB&J the second time.

A total of days I ate PB&J.

I know it affects Monica and Nicole greatly when

they have to eat peanut butter.

I might throw this food competition.

[sighing]

Peanut butter and [bleep] water.

And then maybe I could easily win the HOH.

Oh my God.

Gosh--

Today was the day that we normally

have luxury competition.

We were a day behind on our food competition,

so both were combined today.

Oh look, good presents there.

Oh my God.

This week's food and luxury competition is called

"From the Lips to the Hips."

All right.

Uh-huh.

Now we've been here, this is week .

We've been here weeks.

And Big Brother has decided to reward us.

There are two tables before us.

One table, all the food items we've been craving

for the past few months.

Cotton Candy!

On the other table, a bounty of mystery

luxury prizes, including jewelry.

You like jewelry. - Nope.

A digital camera.

That's what I need.

An electronic organizer.

I need that too.

And a portable DVD player.

Oh yeah!

There's also some booby prizes though.

Oh.

Each of us has two shopping baskets, one for food,

and one for luxuries. - OK.

We may shop until our heart's content,

but in order to win these goods, we must

return to the shopping mat.

When the whistle sounds, we must each hold

both baskets out to our side for a minute and a half.

Like this?

seconds in all.

Oh man, that's harsh.

During that time, both hands must remain below your lips,

and above your hips.

Otherwise, you lose everything.

[music playing]

There's only three of us left in the house,

and it was pretty much whatever you can hold up for seconds,

you get to keep it.

That's not a DVD or CD size.

I chose to pick up lighter items, and fewer items,

so I could hold my arms at my side.

This would be.

Or maybe that's a book.

You couldn't be greedy, so you had to think about the weight.

[whistle blowing]

All right, Monya.

I haven't seen her work out for days,

but today, she did a little exercise.

So in this one, I'm thinking a digital camera.

I felt like there was a lot of very

expensive jewelry in there. - Yeah.

And I was thinking some perfume.

The first seconds was OK, because Nicole

and will were talking to me to keep my mind off of my arms.

Definite necklace in one or two of them.

It may have been a bracelet, but I heard the chain.

I was thinking an antique brooch,

maybe, that opens up with a little locket,

and you could put a picture in there.

Oh yeah.

It's made of mother-of-pearl.

The next seconds, my arms started to get tired.

You got it.

No, come on, lift that up, lift that up.

You want this stuff, now, come on, lift if up Monya.

Come on, Monya, just keep it up.

- Please lift the hand up. - .

- Lift it up for me. - .

That last seconds, Lord have mercy,

I thought my arms were going to fall off.

[yelling]

Just lift your hands up.

A -second bonus clause was added.

If you could hold your items for an additional seconds,

you got to pick one additional item of food,

and one luxury item.

, --

- Hands up, hands up. - .

[whistle blowing]

That's it, Monya.

I couldn't do the extra , y'all.

All right, good. No, you got that, you had that.

I thought she was going to have an aneurysm,

I was all ready to resuscitate her, and call in EMS.

But she did it.

Good start, good form.

Possibly was a DVD, and that's something that she wanted.

And if she got it, she was going to give it to her husband.

Now I'll get to bring him a DVD

player, that's got to be in here, because it's

ripping my arm off.

No, it's not.

But I knew that she was going to go

try to go above and beyond, because she likes to win.

Come on now, you're doing great.

You're doing great.

Keep your hands up there.

.

She's been working out, she's all buffed up,

been hitting the weights.

You've got more seconds. [whistle blowing]

You got more seconds, you can do it.

You can do it.

Look at that!

She's in machine, folks!

A machine, there you go.

That really helped her out.

She held up a lot of prizes, lots of food,

and brought home the goods.

You don't even have to work out today, your day is done,

go back to bed. [whistle blowing]

There you go, yes!

[clapping]

Pick your gift out, girl.

Good for you.

Good effort.

Oh no!

Tell me which one is good!

We don't know.

Just pick one.

Pick that big one.

I'm getting the big one.

[music playing]

Now Will-- first of all, he put on his gloves that he work

out in, you know, to make it more dramatic,

because he's very dramatic.

Is that a slow clock?

It seems like it's moving slow. - No.

Don't look at it.

Oh no, no clock.

So what else is going on, guys?

Will didn't have as much as I did.

He got his Rice Krispie Treats, and gummy bears, or worms,

or whatever.

seconds, you're doing good.

Am I that bad?

How you feeling, how you feeling?

- Not good. - OK.

Not good at all.

I'll tell you, one thing that helped me,

is you got to breathe-- - OK.

I knew he would do it.

It would k*ll him if he didn't.

But he did make the bonus.

[whistle blowing ]

There it is, baby, seconds, seconds.

Just seconds.

Let me ask you guys a question-- is there a wasp

nest stinging my shoulders?

Keep 'em up, baby.

All that working out you been doing.

Looks good, Will.

- Oh yeah!

You feel good!

I'm ready to wrestle!

You feel good!

Get ready to burn my--

I'm dying!

[whistle blowing]

This is k*lling me-- oh!

OK.

OK, oh God.

OK.

You got a ton of gifts.

I'm going to open up the jacks first.

Oh my God. [gasping]

And hold up a zen garden. - What is this?

Digital camera? Listen to that.

Nicole and myself, we both had a bunch of gifts.

Hey, that's some good stuff.

Voice changer.

Oh!

That's pretty cool.

[laughing]

That's pretty cool.

It's totally me.

[MODULATED VOICE] It's on.

Oh, yet another me necklace.

[MODULATED VOICE] Hello.

Yeah, OK.

One, two, three, four.

[MODULATED VOICE] I co-sign that.

What does that say?

Rebel, I was supposed to get that.

Will didn't have the most, so we opened all of ours

first, a lot of them, then we went down to the last four.

Look, I'm not going to be able to fit all these on here.

Metal detector.

He also has a metal detector, which was a hoot.

Just the other day I was thinking,

Will, what do you need?

And I said to myself, I need a mini metal detector

so I can go on the beach.

[clapping]

Those are piercings for people's body parts.

Beep beep beep beep beep.

All these gifts were just like--

I won't say crappy, but--

Guys, you gotta hurry, because I got to go out in the backyard

and look for stuff with my metal detector.

Crappy.

[laughing]

Oh!

Mice in a box.

- Mice! - Oh!

Look, they're little puppets.

See, look.

Nicole, don't k*ll us.

I'll give that to my step daughter.

Ah.

That's the bear that was in the snow.

It is.

But he's whiter, and doesn't stink.

My turn!

PalmPilot.

Oh yeah, you get a PalmPilot, girl!

It's a piece of soap.

Oh, you get all the good stuff.

I really didn't know if I wanted the digital camera,

or the piece of diva soap.

I want that.

You bought it, then, it's yours.

Kent and I both now have a new car.

Hurry, hurry, get out of the car, there's a competition.

I'm staying in here, I need a new car.

Last but not least, he came out a big winner.

You know, Nicole wasn't so happy with me winning

the DVD player, as exemplified by her

smashing my head on the couch.

You son of a g*n!

[screaming]

Ow, my head.

Monica was very positive about me winning the DVD player,

she was very supportive.

I think she was genuinely happy for me.

I know she would have liked it, but she's a good person,

and she was really cool with it.

- I just want to look at it. - Leave him alone.

Open it.

Well, you don't want that.

Oh my God, how did I not get it?

Oh.

Will, I'll trade you.

I already have one of those.

[MODULATED VOICE] Don't be mad, be happy, be glad.

There's only one way to play this game.

[music playing]

I'm playing this game.

Will, stop right there.

Don't get jealous of my metal detector, now.

My favorite thing about my new metal detector

is this grip here, because your fingers lock into it,

and that way, you won't drop it when you're

finding a really good item.

[beeping]

Where's the metal at?

[beeping]

Right there.

[beeping]

Metal.

[beeping]

Metal.

Not metal.

Jeff from Survivor reminded us how great it is to be

here, and try to just have fun.

I'm trying to do that, Monica is trying to do that, I know

all the evicted houseguests would try

to do that if they were here.

And I'm just not sure Nicole's trying to do that.

It's not metal. [beeping]

Metal.

[beeping]

Metal.

Not metal.

I have the worst luck of anyone on the entire face

of this planet ever.

Ever.

Ever.

Who are we kidding here?

Nicole's not the greatest sport, she

is somewhat of a sore loser.

Oh.

She's not a fun person to be around

when she loses competitions.

I could k*ll myself.

Nicole, I actually feel really bad about that, I'm sorry.

I never win anything on this [bleep] show, I swear to God.

How pathetic am I?

I can't believe I still don't have anything to give to Jeff.

Oh my God.

[music playing]

She's been pretty upbeat the last couple of days,

but I knew it was too good to be true.

She's back.

Oh my God.

I don't know if she can take more days, she's freaking.

Her and Monica are going to butt heads,

it's only a matter of time.

I'm not breaking it up, too.

If those two go at it, I'm just going to be like--

[humming] [beeping]

Metal. [beeping]

Metal.

[beeping]

Metal.

Not metal.

Look at how tan my legs are.

Very tan.

And poison rain.

Monya, I look like a light-skinned black woman.

[music playing]

You don't put both of those in the same sentence.

[laughing]

If you say she's light-skinned,

we know she's black.

What if I'm referring to a white person?

Well, you're not referring to a white person, Nicole,

when you say that.

[will humming]

Yeah, I can say somebody's very light-skinned.

Mm.

You're the only person I know that refer to a white person as

light-skinned.

You've referred to white people

as light-skinned , haven't you?

Or do you call them fair-skinned?

My name's Paul, that's up to y'all.

I'm not in this conversation.

Is it a bad conversation?

No, it's just none of my business.

Monica will not debate something,

she will lose her mind about something, get mad at you,

but yet, not tell you why.

White people are light, or dark, or medium complected.

I don't refer to them that, as that.

What do you refer to them as?

I don't usually have to refer to them in a conversation

like this anyway.

I don't say they're pale, I just say they're a white person.

I don't say they're a light-skinned white person.

No, no such thing, darling.

There is to me.

If you say that to a black person,

they gonna think you're talking about a black person.

They're not gonna think you're talking about a white person.

I've been around folk all my life,

and you're the first person that ever, ever said that.

It's offensive?

I don't take offense, but it tells me--

it says a lot.

OK, so you think I was politically incorrect.

No, you said that, I didn't.

I don't think I'm politically incorrect.

I never said you were.

Never once said--

That's your insinuation.

Well, you're assuming wrong, darling.

When you assume, you know what you do when you assume?

I wasn't-- I wasn't assuming.

I said that's your insinuation.

No, that's your words putting in my mouth, not at all.

If it was--

Well, I'm asking you for what--

What I'm saying to you Nicole, is that whatever I have to say,

I would say you were politically incorrect.

I wouldn't beat around the bush, I

would just say, oh, that's politically incorrect, Nicole.

So I'm just saying, I'm making a statement to you

that when you say that, you are the first person

I ever heard that refer to white people as light--

a light-skinned person.

So I'm just saying that's something new to me.

And I've learned a lot of new things since I've been here,

so that's a new one for me. - OK.

That's all I'm saying.

It tells me a lot about folk and how to use terms, and words,

and stuff, and tell me who they're around a lot,

and who they're not around a lot, and what kind of friends

they have.

Because if Nicole had a lot of black friends,

or been around a lot of black folk,

she would not have used "a light black person."

My name's Bennett, and I ain't in it.

Wow.

I'm dark complected.

Is that offensive?

That was very odd.

It's um, HOH, stuff, man, I'm telling you.

Yeah, go walking it off, girl.

It's just the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard though.

And I'll tell you what, that did not

fare well in the old ethical battle

that I may be having right now.

Like, the lines have been drawn in here,

you know what I mean?

Like, you two have been butting heads for a long time,

and I've been waiting for this argument to come up.

I knew this was going to happen at some point.

I'm not choosing sides.

[whistling]

I'm not asking you to.

I'm just saying.

Is anyone in the house r*cist? No.

And I don't think anyone in the house is h*m*,

I don't think anyone in the house is a bigot,

I don't think anyone in the house is anti-Semitic.

But needless to say, those two are looking for any reason

to fight, because they both want me

to be with them in the finals.

[music playing]

[music playing]

I feel like it's completely surreal.

It's very sad for me at this point to only have three of us

in here.

It's very kind of scary in here, and the house

seems to be growing.

And we really have to rely on Will to keep us busy now.

He's the mature one.

Will, your turn.

I'm just happy to be here at this point.

Either we're going to be at each other's faces all

the time, or we're going to have our-- find our time to have

our space, and get together, because it's going

to seem very empty.

So it's like, if somebody's in the house,

everybody'll probably go in the house.

If everybody outside, everybody gonna

go outside, because nobody's going to want to be alone.

We're a small herd.

We need a pet.

No we don't.

When they change the table, now, I think that's too funny.

[music playing]

The linoleum there's so huge, and then there's this

little itty-bitty table.

It makes it look even smaller, like a pager

on a really fat guy.

Do the puzzle fit on there?

That's what I'm saying.

No, no, the Lazy Susan's bigger than the table, I think.

It was feeling weird for me anyway,

but now it's even like, woof, there's only three people

left in this house, and it does feel weird.

I feel like I'm at a bar that's closing,

and they've called last call, and they're like,

could you leave, please?

It's sort of strange in the house.

If I'm ever talking to Monica alone,

Nicole gets very nervous.

And if I'm ever talking to Nicole alone,

Monica gets very nervous.

With Hardy being gone, I really--

I really miss Hardy so much.

In a lot of ways, it is lonely around the house

with only three people here, but I kind of like it.

I like a little time to myself.

And I'm here with Monica and Nicole,

what am I supposed to do, have a good conversation with them?

This house is like, just an empty bucket.

It echoes, and there's nothing going on in it.

We have to keep each other company no matter what,

and entertain each other the best that we can.

- Let's get pumped up. - Let's go.

- OK. - Are you excited, Will?

I'm jizz-acked.

Nicole, are you excited?

Woo-hoo!

Am I excited?

Yeah!

It tastes good!

It tastes good!

It tastes good!

There you go.

NARRATOR: Which houseguest would you, the viewers,

like to have a live internet chat with?

One, Nicole.

Two, Monica.

Three, Will.

We're sitting on the edge of our seats.

Oh my God. [drum roll]

Ah!

The answer is--

Ah ha!

Ah!

Dr Evil!

Just do your thing.

Go in there, have fun, come back and tell us lot of good stuff.

That's right, have fun.

Have fun.

You go, boy.

At first when I learned that America chose me to chat with,

I was very excited.

But then I realized that they didn't want to chat it with me,

they wanted to yell at me.

Will, what do you say to those who call you a mean,

lying b*stard?

I usually say, hey, good morning Monica, good morning Nicole.

One of the best things about the internet chat

was that all I had to do was speak.

Big Brother did all the work.

Big Brother typed it out, Big Brother sent it out.

Will, do you have a soul?

That's debatable.

Will, are you the evil doctor in real life?

What do you have against body hair?

If you let your body hair grow, who

would be hairier, you or Bunky?

Some people like brussels sprouts, and I

don't like brussels sprouts.

Some people like body hair, I don't like body hair.

When are you going to change your name from Dr.

Evil to Doctor Feelgood?

I really appreciate your honesty,

but do you normally lie so much when you're at home?

At my house, I don't have people trying to kick me out.

Do you think you will pose for Playgirl?

If the money was right, I would do anything.

Will, why don't you change your shorts more often?

[laughing]

They're really cool shorts.

Exclamation, please.

Perfect.

Send it.

Some of the questions were a little on the mean side.

Some were, you know, nice, and-- but most of the people

just wanted some personal information.

There's a lot of things that are said in this house

that I hope will pass.

I came in this house saying I was going

to do deceitful things, I said I was going to lie,

and I did just that.

So at least I haven't been a hypocrite.

On this show, I have to be evil.

Everyone can't be a nice guy.

Seriously, however, every day in this house

I feel a little more human, and I'm just reminded of the evils

that I've committed against the evicted houseguests.

How did you put up with Nicole and her complaining?

How did I put up with it?

I'm barely putting up with it.

I think the most surprising thing to me

is that she continues to complain,

and she just doesn't seem to appreciate what she has.

I think it's important to remember

that I live in this house with the sole purpose of surviving.

Being evil has kept me alive this far,

and I hope that it will do so for at least another week.

In real life, I'm Doctor Feelgood.

As much as I joke around in this house, and as many evil things

that I've done, I truly appreciate being here.

I feel very fortunate, and I just want to thank all the fans

who tune in every week.

Without them, the show wouldn't be possible.

I realize that some of the current houseguests,

as well as the evicted, complain a lot.

But I have nothing to complain about.

For me this has been an amazing experience,

and I try to enjoy every day that I'm here.

After I came out of the chat session,

I told Monica and Nicole some of my experiences in there.

They were really interested.

You know, not on the edge of their seat,

but nonetheless, they wanted to know what happened.

There was one really nice question, it said,

I think you should change your name

from Dr. Evil to Dr. Feelgood.

What do you think about that?

I thought that was really cute.

[laughing]

I thought that was really cute.

Want me to tell you a mean question?

Mm.

How do you deal with Nicole and her complaining?

And what was your answer?

She complains for the benefit of the people in the house,

like, she complains about vegetables,

because we need vegetables.

I'm like, but I don't think she complains

as much as you guys think.

Thank you.

Did you really say that?

Yeah.

Nicole was very curious of some of my answers.

I think the reason is because she knows the gig is up.

She knows that I know that she's evil.

So she, at this time, is very happy that she

hasn't been "discovered" yet.

But I think, you know, it's going to-- it's creeping out,

bit by bit, and people are going to watch the show,

and realize that she's the reason

that every other houseguest has been evicted.

Dude, Tuesday can't get here fast enough.

That's all I have to say.

This is the $, HOH competition.

I'm really feeling the pressure, really feeling the pressure.

I feel I did OK in part one.

Second place, which is not as good as first.

Will's ahead of me, which makes me very upset.

[music playing]

Well, we all are going to have to pack next Thursday.

I know.

That wouldn't make sense to me.

This next HOH is very important, because it

puts you closer to the money.

And this is the ultimate.

This is what it's all about.

This is why I came into the house.

[grunting]

Wait, wait, I'm confused.

OK, we all packed Thursday, because--

Whoever wins Thursday sends one of whoever else home.

That same day.

All right, let's say you win Tuesday, right?

Right.

And you and Nicole are the highest two.

OK.

OK, so then--

then Thursday, only you two are competing,

and I'm just sitting on the couch.

Whoever wins is HOH, and you send-- and like,

let's say you won.

OK.

You send either Nicole or I home.

Right there.

Right there.

That's very powerful.

And when I think of it that way, I get too intense, and uptight,

and then I'll take myself out of the game

if I think of it too much.

[music playing]

She knows this is a very important HOH to her.

To me, this HOH is not all that important.

I came here to have fun, I did that.

I came here to stay a long time, I did that.

All right.

After Hardy evicted Shannon, I promised Shannon

that I would avenge her.

I did that.

So as far as I'm concerned, I'm the big winner.

There's nothing left for me to do except try

to get a little bit of money.

If that happens, it happens.

If it doesn't, everything worked out for the best for me.

You win HOH, and then they're like, Monica,

who do you want to evict?

And you're just like, go home.

No-- no nomination, no nothing.

Oh God.

We're getting closer to HOH, which is the most important day

thus far that we've had here.

I'm really starting to stress out,

and I anticipate not sleeping this evening.

[music playing]

[music playing]

Mm-hmm.

What do you mean?

Mm-hmm.

I'll believe it when I see it.

I wish we knew what to wear or whatever.

I guess it doesn't matter.

I wonder if they're going to disqualify me because of this.

Because of what?

Big zit on my forehead.

[laughing]

Today we're going to have the second part

of the HOH competition.

I'm a little nervous, but I do have

a cushion I have five points, Nicole has four,

Monica has three.

There's seven points available today,

and I have to remind myself they I don't necessarily

have to get all seven.

The top two people go on, only the worst is eliminated.

You will have six minutes to complete the following seven

household chores in order.

Basically, in six minutes, we had to run an obstacle course,

and check off each station.

One, put a slice of bread in the toaster,

and push the lever down to toast it.

Two, move all the food items from the kitchen island,

and deposit them into the plastic bin

on the storage room shelf.

Three, go and pick up all the eight towels

that were sitting all over in the bathroom,

and throw them in a bin.

Four was to run to the window outside,

squeegee it four times, and check that one off.

Station five was to go to the pool,

and pick out all the ba*ls with the pool netting,

and put the thing back on the cradle.

And then you had to run to the windows,

and pull down the shades of the evicted houseguests

from reverse order to cover up all the pictures.

And then you had to run in to station seven, which

was to take the toast out of the toaster, put peanut butter

and jelly all over it, and completely

masticate and devour, and swallow the entire thing.

And open your mouth, and say Big Brother .

And that was the whole thing.

[whistle blowing]

[music playing]

It wasn't hard to make toast, but it could be tricky,

because you could press the toaster down,

and it might click back up.

[ding]

Second station was taking food from off the counter

to the storage.

You didn't have time to think about,

I'm gonna this, this, this and this.

Then I had to figure out a way that I would not drop anything.

The next station was to go into the bathroom area,

find eight towels, and put them in the bin.

Two, three, four, five.

Each towel you find, you have to count as you pick them up.

Eight.

[ding]

I had to find that window, and once I put the water in,

and I started on the squeegee, I know you couldn't do three,

you had to do at least do four, could do five.

I don't remember how many I did.

All I know is that I wanted to get it clean,

and I think I took a little bit too much time there.

[ding]

Six ba*ls out of the pool, two large ba*ls, medium size, and

two at the bottom of the pool.

That didn't seem so hard.

[ding]

I went through the people, the evicted people on my hand

really quickly, you know, I knew 'em-- boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

And so when I went out there, all I needed to do

was to see their faces, and everything came to me.

[ding]

I was like, oh my God, and I can't believe

they got crunchy peanut butter, and I don't

eat crunchy peanut butter.

When I was on PB&J, I ate the creamy peanut butter.

And so when I saw the crunchy, it didn't dawn on me,

like, oh my God.

It was like oh my God, and I had to eat it.

I was-- to be honest, I think I was

so afraid I was going to choke.

[buzzer]

[whistle]

[music playing]

Station one seems like it would be really easy.

It's like, the most non-brainy one, you know,

non-hurting one that there is, right?

I was like, oh my God, this is not the white bread.

So I just grabbed it, ripped it open,

praying that I was pulling out white bread,

and not wheat bread.

[ding]

Being in the restaurant business,

I can carry a stupid amount of beers, ketchups,

I mean, you name it.

So I thought this will be easy for me.

The problem was the shapes of things,

and different weights of things.

I can pile things up real high, and carry a lot,

but some of them will like slide to the side, or fall down.

[ding]

One, two.

In station three, I'm sure I did very

well in it, because that's what I do,

is pick up all the towels--

Will's towels.

[ding]

So I ran outside, and I went, and I

had to squeegee off the window, and we had to do

four strokes on the window.

I mean, that was a pretty easy one.

[ding]

And then I had to run over to the pool,

and grab six ba*ls out of the pool with the net.

Then there were two tennis ba*ls on the bottom,

and they really actually slowed me down, those stupid little

tennis ba*ls.

[ding]

And then we had to go over the screens,

and pull down the screens in reverse order of evictions.

I was thinking in my mind, as I'm pulling them,

you know, I'm going Hardy, Bunky.

[ding]

Station seven was m*rder, and they gave

us crunchy peanut butter, OK?

Toast, crunchy peanut butter, trying to spread it on fast--

breaks in a million pieces.

I was like, oh my God.

It's all over the place.

Oh jeez.

And I could not swallow--

I could not.

And I'm smashing it in my mouth.

It was just not good.

[coughing]

Big Brother !

Woo!

Come on.

Oh.

[ding]

Come on!

[whistle]

[music playing]

From the very beginning, I thought

I was off to a strong start.

I toasted my bread, I ran to station number two.

But I forgot to check off the box, and as a result,

I didn't get a point for the simplest task.

[buzzer]

Station number two entailed carrying

all the goods from the kitchen island into the storage room.

I carried around a bag of cereal in my mouth,

three or four times, sort of like a Labrador retriever.

I'm not sure why, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

[ding]

Number three was relatively simple,

you just had to pick up some towels.

It's too bad Nicole wasn't there to remind

you to pick up my stuff.

Needless to say, her voice was in the back of my head,

pick up your towels, pick up your towels.

So I picked them up and threw them in the bin,

and that one worked out great.

[ding]

Number four, I sprinted out to the backyard,

I squeegeed off the back window.

I had done this a couple of times

before, it was pretty simple, and I

think I did a great job of it.

I also didn't forget to check the box.

[ding]

On station number five, I scooped

the ba*ls out of the pool.

I think I did a really good job of doing it.

As I went to put the net back on the wall,

I couldn't find the rack, so I just dropped it.

[buzzer]

Oh!

Come on!

The Evil Doctor's running around the backyard like a chicken

with his head cut off, he's under a tremendous amount

of pressure.

He still finds time to give his girlfriend a kiss.

Despite the fact that there's a lot of money

on the line, a lot of pressure, I took

a little second out for myself.

And that's what life's all about.

[ding]

Giving me peanut butter is so unfair to Monica and Nicole,

because everyone knows I can eat peanut butter like a freak.

Unfortunately, it was chunky, and I usually like smooth.

But I still made my sandwich, I wolfed

it down, it was delicious.

My only regret is I didn't have more time to enjoy it.

[coughing]

Big Brother .

[ding]

[coughing]

Overall, I'm very pleased.

I think that I put forth a good effort, and I hope--

I hope I did well.

I hope I beat the two girls.

[laughing]

That's a freaky eye.

Oh my God.

[music playing]

[sighing]

Damn.

Y'all two are in the Head of Household competition.

Congratulations, y'all.

[clapping]

I think it's clear that it's to Nicole's advantage

to win the competition, eliminate

Monica, and keep me around.

Because she can easily beat me in the finals.

With him missing station one, that's just stupid.

How can you not grab a piece of bread and put it in a toaster,

and put it down?

If Will was throwing this competition,

that would mean that he wants me to be the bad guy on Thursday,

and vote to evict Monica.

I was getting pissed at you, boy.

I was pissed.

What are you talking about?

How could you be mad now?

How could I be mad now?

Because you could have done that on purpose, and make me

be the one that has to kick out the wonderful person.

Please, you're being psycho.

If I win HOH--

which I definitely plan on doing,

with everything in my power--

it is going to be the biggest moral,

ethical, horrible, terrible decision of my life.

Yeah, you got six, right?

What didn't you get?

The peanut-- I stuck to the peanut butter.

Yeah.

All in all, I know Monica really needs the money.

I know that Nicole doesn't.

If I win the HOH, who am I going to give half a million dollars

to--

Monica or Nicole?

Because I can't beat either of them.

So I guess, you know, I have to ask myself that question.

Oh man, that was a crazy competition.

It was awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome.

I loved it.

I'm at the mercy of two people.

And I have to walk in faith, there's nothing I can do.

I'm not going to smooch, I'm not going to do

that, I haven't done that.

I'm not going do it now.

I have to put it out in the universe,

because I don't know what's going to happen.

Because it can go any kind of way, you know what I mean?

NARRATOR: Which of the two finalists

will win the ultimate Head of Household competition?

And who will they choose to evict

from the Big Brother House--

Will, Monica, or Nicole?

Find out on the next Big Brother .

[music playing]

[music playing]