01x39 - Pete's Day at the Races

[bunniefuu]

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both] Yes!

♪ There's buddies There's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem To work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

[Pete] it all started a few weeks ago.

I had some of my pals over
for a friendly card game.

Touch that card,

and you'll be using your fingernails

for poker chips.

Sorry, Maggot.

It looked like my card from the back.

The creme de la creme
from the used car biz

was there that night.

There was Lenny the lip,

Giant George,

And sleepy Stu.

[snoring]

Time for some real poker, pals.

One-eyed jacks, deuces,

To make it interesting,

let's up the ante to a... nickel.

Blood poker, huh?

I can't believe that.

Too rich for my blood.

[indistinct chatter]

It's up to you.

Uh, go fish!

[yawns]

[snoring]

[Pete] I was ridin' a hot streak.

I could hit just about anything.

One by one,

my opponents dropped out like flies.

By the end of the night,

it was between me and Maggot.

I raise you a '71 plymouth nova

with air conditionin'
and a six-month warranty.

Call.

Read 'em and weep.

Three 3s.

Oh. All I got is two pairs--

Two pairs of 4s.

Ha-ha-ha!

Ah...

I did it!

Give it up, Maggie!

Ha-ha-ha!

I'm all tapped out, Pete.

Broke. No dinero.

Well, what's this?

He was holding ownership papers

to a thoroughbred race horse--

Slippery Sammy.

Now, now, come on.

You wouldn't take a guy's racehorse.

I could hardly wait
to see Peg's smiling face

when I told her the good news.

You won a what?

A racehorse, Peg-ums,

Just like we always dreamed about.

I never dreamed of owning a racehorse.

I know, honey bunny.
You were just too busy.

So I dreamt it for ya.

One look at this magniferous animal,

and I know you'll fall in love.

[horse whinnies]

So what do you think?

Petey-pie, you want a horse, fine,

but you're not keeping him here.

B-b-but, Peg-ums, just for a couple weeks,

until he wins the big race,

Then we'll have enough money
to buy him his own ranch.

[crash]

And a new lamp.

Absolutely not.

The house is no place for a horse.

Oh, but--but--

Kids, look!

Daddy got you a pony.

Wow! Cool! A horse!

Oh! Is he really ours, Daddy?

You bet he is, princess.

Oh, Daddy,

he's the bestest horsie
in the whole world,

and I love him so much.

Gets you right here, don't it?

Oh! All right, Pete.

You can keep him here until your big race,

and then he's out!

In no time, Sammy was blendin' in

like one of the family.

[man on TV] Now, Ted,
land this plane immediately.

Horses don't fly planes.

[Mr. Ted] They don't?
Now you tell me, Wilbur!

[Pete] Of course he was especially good
with the children.

[snoring]

Oh, I'll never forget

how little p*stol's face
would just light up

whenever she saw him.

You're the worstest horsie
in the whole world,

and I hate you so much.

It took time,

but pretty soon even Peg
warmed up to Sammy.

Hey, open up!

You been in there for over two hours!

[whinnies]

Beast!

Everything's quiet.

I'm worried.

Relax, tater-tot.

It's all workin' out like I said.

Sammy's out back enjoyin' his new digs.

He's diving into the pool, Daddy.

Yeah, from the tree.

[splash]

Must be part sea horse.

Sammy keeps climbing
higher and higher, daddy.

Oh, let him have his fun.

He's not botherin' anybody.

[cracking]

[wild whinnying]

[crash]

Whoa!

Oh! Uh!

Does that mean another chance

is out of the question, sweet pea?

Ouch.

Oh, you can come back
when you lose the horse.

But the weigh-in
for the big race is tomorrow.

Sorry, Dad,
but we took a vote, and you lost.

Nothing personal, Daddy.

You'll be whistlin'
from a different side of your mouth

when I'm rollin' in the bucks.

[Peg] hold on, Pete-ums.
You forgot something.

Now what?

[scared whinnying]

Ooh!

Oh!

There he is, Slippery Sammy,

the mean, lean racin' machine.

[yawns]

Gotcha. Looks like a real go-getter.

I want to enter him
in next week's big race

and start collectin' my winnings.

Oh. Why don't we weigh him in first?

Sorry, fella. I'm afraid

your horse is too fat to race.

What are you talking about?
He was born to run!

Looks to me like he was born to eat.

But if he can't race, what's he gonna do?

Oh, you might consider using him
for a 2-ton paperweight.

But... but... but...

So there I was,
kicked out of my own house--

no place to sleep, no race to run.

Just me and a horse

who ate like a...

horse.

What I needed was a partner

to help me get Sammy in shape.

Someone stupid enough

to do a lot of work for a little money.

Gawrsh, Petey!
You want me to be your partner?

Yep. All you got to do

is board, feed, train, shoe,
read to, and burp him.

I'll give you a whole percent--

No, make that a whole

Sounds fair, only I don't have a stable.

Oh, you got a living room.

And with a little imaginating,

we'll have it looking
like a stable in no time.

Gawrsh! Ah-hyuck!

It's hard to believe
all this is happenin' to me.

I feel giddy as a schoolgirl.

Well, then we got
ourselves a deal, partner.

It was unanimous. All that was left

was to get Sammy into shape.

[snoring] And the next mornin',

he couldn't wait to get started.

On your hooves, mister!

Suck in that gut!

Stick out that chest!

And get that ponytail cut!

The party's over, buster.

No more midnight snacks, no more TV,
and no bubble baths.

Do I make myself clear?

[gulp]

It was time that nightmare of a mare

started pulling his weight
and making me rich.

[scared whinnying]

I got him! I got him, Petey!

Oh!

Hmm, where'd he go?

Row, row, row that boat!

Row, row, row that boat!

♪ Gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily ♪

♪ Life is but a dream ♪

Ah-hyuck!

He'd dropped a bunch of weight.

I just hoped it was enough.

Congratulations.

Finally, it was time to see

what kind of horsepower

he was packin' under his hood.

Get ready to see some
lightnin' speed, Goof.

Better not blink, or you might miss it.

I blinked. Is it over?

It hasn't begun yet.

Now fire the startin' p*stol!

One for the money,

two for the show,

On your mark, get set,

eeny, meeny, miney,

hickory, dickory, dock,

♪ Old man river ♪

Give me that. Go!

Gawrsh. He ran so fast,

he must've slipped into another dimension.

He's over there, you goofball.

This is all your fault!

And you call yourself a trainer?

I don't call myself a trainer.

Well, you're a trainer
if I tell you you're one!

OK, Petey, I'm a trainer.

You're no trainer.

The big race was only days away.

And I'd already dropped a bundle

training that loser of a horse,

But hey, I wasn't gonna
let it get me down.

[sobbing]

Then I got an idea--

The greatest sales gimmick of all time.

You're gonna make me rich after all,

you good-for-nothing loser!

By throwing in a piece of Sammy

with every car sold,

I could sell more lemons than ever.

But this car has no tires.

Tires, schmires. You buy this,

and I throw in a 50% share

in this magnificent racehorse.

Heck, you got yourself a deal.

Wait'll I tell the wife!

In no time,

I was making money hand over hoof.

Sold more horse than there was horse,

but that was OK,

'cause no one could collect
from a loser anyway.

Of course, if Sammy won,

there'd be more owners than money

and I'd be in big trouble,

but there was no chance of that happening.

Meanwhile, the dreaded goof

was makin' a last-ditch hopeless effort

to get Sammy into shape.

How's that feel?

Sure wish I knew
how to get you to run faster.

Gawrsh. No wonder you can't run.

You got a big old hangnail.

Don't you worry, Sammy.

I'll have you good as new in a jiffy.

Unh!

Unh! Yaah!

[crash]

Boy, he's moving faster already. Ah-hyuck!

Ready...

set...

go!

You made it around the track

Must be a new record.

Petey's sure gonna be happy

when he hears the good news. Ah-hyuck!

[clock ticking]

[car approaching]

[brakes screech]

[sniffs]

Sometimes a guy has to stop
and sniff the money.

Here he comes!

Wow! What a nag!

Wish I owned a thoroughbred like that.

Good news, Petey, you do.

Huh? What are you talking abou--

Yuck!

Sammy can run great now.

All he had was a nail in his foot.

That's sensational!

That's fantastic!

That's terrible.

I couldn't let Sammy win that race.

I knew what I had to do.

A few horseshoes
in the saddle for good luck.

Heh heh. Cement boots
are always in fashion.

You can never go wrong

with a properly placed anchor,

and, of course, the right jockey.

Now that's what I call
a heavyweight contender.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

[Announcer] And running in the seventh are

El bobbo, Shoeless Saylor,
Carter's Complaint,

The Purple Perdue, and Slippery Sammy.

Come on, Sammy! All right!

You can do it!

Oh, good luck, penguin lips!

I hope Sammy wins!

Me, too, camel cheeks. Ha-ha-ha!

I can't wait till I collect my winnings.

I'm gonna buy a boat.

I'm gonna get me a house.

Now, now, now.

I hope you all aren't expectin' too much.

After all, it's not
whether you win or lose,

But how much money I make. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hey! What are you doing here?
Who's ridin' Sammy?

Some skinny guy
said that he wanted to surprise you.

What?

Guess what, Petey.

'Cause it's the special occasion,

I got Sammy a whole new set of gear.

[call to the post]

Stop!

[Announcer] And they're off!

With El Bobbo taking the early lead.

Followed by Carter's Complaint,

Shoeless Saylor, The Purple Perdue,

and Slippery Sammy bringing up the rear.

There's nothing to worry about.

There's no chance of Sammy
winning with goofy ridin'.

As they round the bend,

it's El Bobbo, Carter's Complaint,

Shoeless saylor, Purple Perdue,

and Slippery Sammy way, way back.

Yes! Yes!

I mean, uh, no-- uh, no.

And it's still El Bobbo,
Carter's Complaint,

Shoeless Saylor, The Purple Perdue,

But wait, Slippery Sammy's beginning

to move up in the pack!

Oh! Oh! Isn't it wonderful?

Sammy's moving up in the pack! Oh!

Yes, wonderful.

[muttering]

As they come down the homestretch,

It's El Bobbo with Slippery Sammy

moving up fast on the inside!

El Bobbo! Slippery Sammy!
El Bobbo! Slippery Sammy!

No! I gotta stop him!

Stop!

No!

Outta the way, Petey!

Stop!

And the winner is...

Slippery Sammy!

[crash]

Oh, Petey has an ouchy.

What do you mean, you own 50%?

I own 90%!

What are you, crazy?

[indistinct chatter]

-Where's Pete?
-Hey, Petey!

Aren't you gonna come
join the celebration?

No-- yeah, I'm just gonna
go pick up some...

Ice cream.

[Goofy] Make sure you get
plenty of rocky road!

Let's get him!

Get him! Come on! Pete!

Lost 'em.

I hate when he does that.

[Pete] And that's how I ended up here.

That's the saddest story I ever heard.

[door being unlocked]

Well...

It's time, Pete.

Time to repay your debt to society.

For the next six months of weekends,

you're on clean-up detail.

Now get to work!

I think I'm gonna need a bigger bucket.

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!