02x02 - Adventures in Fish Sitting/Banned Band

[bunniefuu]

[BUBBLING]

-[SONG BEGINS]
-One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail!

School's out, ring the bell!

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail!

School's out, ring the bell!

[SONG ENDS]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

MS. LIPS: And so, Bea,

that's why you should
spend most of your time

thinking about everything
that might go wrong,

because you really never know
when something's gonna come along

-and get ya!
-Ouch!

That's just how life is.

[MOANS SADLY]

Uh, Ms. Lips, why exactly
did you call me in here, again? [LAUGHS]

Huh? Oh!

Oh, yes, Bea, I was wondering

if you could babysit
for me tonight.

Oh, tonight?
Well, I'd love to,

but it's Friday,
and I always go out on Friday nights.

That's where all the action is.

I haven't been out of my house
on a Friday night in so many decades.

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

Uh, well, maybe I can...

Wonderful!

You are just gonna
love my little angel.

Thank you so much, Bea.
See you tonight.

Ow!

[GROANS]

[BELL RINGING]

Hey, mamacita.

Bea, is everything okay?

No! Everything is not okay at all!

Ms. Lips wants me to babysit tonight.

I didn't know Ms. Lips had a baby!

-I know, right?
-Babysitting is really no fun at all.

How about we come along
and keep you company?

Really? You would do that for me?

Oh, thanks, you guys.

Maybe tonight won't be so bad after all.

MS. LIPS: Oh.

Hey! Oh! Just a minute.

-[CRASH]
-Oh, who put that there?

[DONKEY BRAYING]

Oh, my gosh, Ms. Lips!

Bea! Oh! [CHUCKLES]

And you brought helpers. How fun.

You look so pretty.

Oh, stop.

Oh, I wanted to make the most
of my big night out,

so tonight I'm taking a pottery class.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay, come on inside now.

-[CLANG]
-Ow!

Okay, you know what?

Thanks, Mom,
for making me so gosh darn tall.

Thanks a lot!

[MS. LIPS GRUNTS]

So, Ms. Lips, where is
that little tyke of yours? [LAUGHS]

Right.
Well, sometimes he gets a little scared

when he hears the doorbell,
and he's probably hiding under my bed.

Ms. Lips' baby is afraid of doorbells?

MS. LIPS: Here he is!

Kids, I'd like you to meet Attila.

Meow.

He doesn't look anything like you.

I know. Isn't that sad?

You know, Attila is a catfish,
and he's my little baby.

My baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby!

Oh, thanks again, Bea.

Oh, glad I could help.

Call me if you have any problems.

-Ow!
-Meow.

Okay.

So, I'm spending my Friday night
watching a catfish.

[SQUEAKS]

Oh, Bea, I'm kind of allergic to catfish.

Achoo!

[PHONE RINGS]

-Hello?
-Bea, where are you?

Everyone's hanging out
at the Burger Bunny parking lot tonight.

BOY: 'Sup, Shellsea?

Look, I can't make it,
but let me know if anything happens, okay?

Of course, girl. Maybe.

-This is so lame.
-What are you talking about, lady?

Attila is amazing! Just look at him.

Meow.

Meow.

Meow.

He seems a little upset.

Oh, oh! I'll go talk to him.

Someone needs a huggy-wuggy!

Whoa, whoa, Milo,
I don't think that you should...

[ROARING AND SOUNDS OF CLAWS]

He said he's all good on hugs.

[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]
I'm gonna go lay down and heal for a bit.

Holy mackerel!

[PHONE RINGS]

-Shellsea?
-Sha! So now,

Bo Gregory is playing
his car stereo really loud,

-and everyone is kind of standing around.
-No! Really?

[GASPS]
Shellsea, I gotta go!

No! No! Attila, please don't do that.

Bea, are you okay?

Yeah, except that thing
tried to rip my face off!

Well, maybe you shouldn't pick on him.

Where did you get that sandwich?

-From the kitchen.
-Oh, maybe Attila would feel better

if he had something to eat.

There you go.

Hey, my sandwich!

Gah!

Okay, when I said Attila was amazing,

what I meant to say was, "I hate him!"

Yeah. This is getting out of hand.

Let me call Ms. Lips.
Maybe she knows what to do.

[PHONE RINGING]

Oh, I think my potter's wheel
is on the fritz again.

Is this on? Oh.

Hello.
Please leave a message after the beep.

How do I turn it off?

-There's no answer.
-[PHONE RINGS]

-Ms. Lips?
-SHELLSEA: Oh, no.

So, two girls just showed up
wearing the same outfit.

I think they're about to throw down.

Oh, my gosh!
You did not just say that.

I cannot believe you're gonna miss this.

Let me see what I can do.
Hey, guys... Uh-oh.

-[OSCAR WHIMPERS]
-[GROANING]

-Achoo!
-BEA: Um...

What do you say
we get out of here for a bit?

-I'm okay with that.
-But what do we do about that?

I'm sure he'll be fine by himself.
Come on!

Ms. Lips said she'll be out till 10:00,

-so we'll just be back before that,
-[OSCAR SIGHS]

and everything will be peachy-keen.

Doodly-doo.

[FAIRGROUND MUSIC PLAYING]

I can't believe we almost missed this.

BEA: Oh, my gosh,
that was so much fun.

Yeah. It's really cool
seeing everybody from school

outside of school.

Oh, look, a cat-shaped hole in the door.

Oh, no! Attila!

Where is he? Where is he?
Come on, you guys, we've gotta find him!

Attila!
He must've gotten out while we were away.

How could I let this happen?
Ms. Lips will be destroyed

if she finds out that he's gone.

Okay, Bea, I don't
want you to worry,

-but Ms. Lips is back!
-CAR STEREO: ...fishycat

I'ma, I'ma love you...

Oh, wait. She drove past.

-I'ma, I'ma kiss you...
-MS. LIPS: Oh, hey, that's my house.

[GASPS] She's back again!

-What are we gonna do?
-Oh, oh!

I have an idea.

MS. LIPS:
Hello, is anyone home?

Wait a minute, I don't have to knock.

I live here.

Oh, got ya. Huh?

[HORROR MUSIC PLAYING]

Who is this?

Oh, this is your catfish, Attila.

Who-- who else would it be?
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

Oh, Attila, you look so different
without your pretty bow.

Yeah. Well, we should really get going.
Bye, Ms. Lips.

Well, don't you want your ten cents?

So, did you have fun tonight?

Uh, it was okay.

[LAUGHS]

You can talk now!

Uh... Yeah, I can talk.

Oh, hey, can you make me some lasagna?

Attila?

We have another sandwich
for you to inhale.

Oh, it's no use.
He could be anywhere!

Achoo!

-Stupid allergies.
-[GASPS]

Oscar, your allergies only flare up
when you're around Attila, right?

Yeah.

So, what if we follow your nose?

Achoo!

Achoo!

Eyes burning.

[GASPS]

Attila's inside Freshwater High!

[SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYING]

[DEEP YOWLING]

I don't get it. Where's he going?

He's looking for Ms. Lips.

Attila, are you in here?

I'll handle this.
Come here, kitty.

-[MEOWING]
-[SCREAMING]

Ugh! There has got to be a better way.

That catfish totally hates us.

That catfish hates everyone.

Well, everyone except...

Ding-dong!

Why, hello, Attila.

It's me, Ms. Lips.

And I'm here to take you h*... Oops!

[GROWLS]

OSCAR: Achoo!

[GROWLS]

Oh, that? Why, I just ate a giant burrito.

-OSCAR: Ow!
-Pull it together, Oscar!

[ATTILA GROANING]

Meow.

[PURRING]

Okay, let's take baby home.

MS. LIPS: Hello?

Oh,
I thought I was already inside my house.

No, Ms. Lips, it's Oscar and Bea.

We have something for you.

Meow.

Attila!

But if you're right here,

then who is sleeping
in your cat bed? [CHUCKLES]

Uh, Ms. Lips,

I might not have been doing
a super good job of watching Attila.

I'm really sorry.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[BURPS]

Oh, that burrito I ate nearly k*lled me.

So, we're cool?

Oh, yeah. Thank you for being honest.

Look, I've got something for you.

I made it in my class tonight.

Oh, it's, um...

so nice.

I really see a lot of myself in you, Bea.
It's like looking right into a mirror.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, that's great.

Well, thanks again, kids.

I am so glad that's over.

I think I've had more than enough
excitement for one weekend.

Well, look on the bright side.

Now you'll have lots to talk about
at school on Monday.

[LAUGHS]

That's for sure.

I hate Mondays.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

-[MEOWING]
-[HORN NOISES]

-[SONG BEGINS]
-Derpa-derp

Doo-doo doo-doo!

Boy, I love to play the kazoo

Derpa-derp

Doo-doo doo-doo!

I play the kazoo for you, you, and you

Derpa-derp

Doo-doo doo-doo!

Oh, I love to play the kazoo

Derpa-derp

Doo-doo doo-doo!

Boy, I love to play the kazoo!

Doo-doo doo-doo!
Doo-doo doo-doo!

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo

[SONG ENDS]

Boy, Milo, you sure have gotten good
on that kazoo.

Yeah, I know it, man.

I've been practicing so hard,
I think I'm finally ready

to try out for the marching band.

Funny, 'cause as an actress,
I think it's a...

Oh, my gosh, here they come!

[TRIUMPHAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHANTING]
Hot dog, hot dog, hot dog

Kazooey,
you and I are gonna be in that band.

Well, I sure hope we get
some viable candidates

for the marching band this year.

I really do. I really do.

Okay, Freshwater, show me what you got.

[GRUNTING] Ouch!

That's cute, but no, thank you.

-[WHIMPERS]
-[LAUGHS]

-Ta-da!
-No, thank you.

[RATTLES]

No, thank you.

Excuse me.

No, thank you. No, thank you.

No, thank you.

No, thank you. No, thank you.
No, thank you.

No, thank you. No, thank you.

Oh, thank you. Sometimes I get stuck.

[SCREECHING]

Whoa, Lonnie the bandleader
is one tough judge.

Yeah, Lonnie's been on his high horse
ever since the Freshwater Marching Band

took third place
at the Fish State County Fair.

Well, just wait until old Lonnie
hears my crazy musical skills.

Good afternoon.

[INHALES]
Doo doo, doo, doo, doo

[INHALES]
Doo doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

[INHALES]
Doo, doo, doo, doo

[KAZOO PLAYING CONTINUES]

Uh, well, Milo,
your kazoo-playing was very charming,

but no, thank you.

I love to play. I gotta be in band.

Okay, Freshwater, tryouts are over.

Unfortunately, none of you will be
playing music this year,

but you're welcome
to try again next year.

Keep your chins up
like piccolos in a parade.

Thank you.

-[GROANING]
-BOY: Stinks.

No, Lonnie, thank you. For nothing.

Oh, guys, I've been practicing so hard,
and all I wanted was to...

[GULPS]
was to be in a band!

You don't have to be in the marching band
to play music, bro.

[EXCLAIMS] Yeah! Why, the three of us
could start a band!

-As an actress, I'm...
-Yeah!

And we can name our band
"The Green Apple Experience"!

Or we could name it "Bea and Her Boys."

Yeah, [STUTTERS]
definitely that one.

I'm in a band!

[YELLS]

[INSTRUMENTS BEING TUNED]

All right, I just finished
our incredible song lyrics.

And my guitar is sort of in tune.

And I'm just sitting here,
so let's do this thing!

A-one, a-two, a-one, two...

LONNIE: Stop right there!

[GASPS] Lonnie the bandleader?

I thought I was pretty clear, Milo.

I said there will be
no music for you this year.

Whoa, wait a sec.

Bea and Her Boys are not affiliated
with the marching band.

Yeah! So we're allowed
to play whenever we want.

Yeah, except no, 'cause guess what!

I'm a villain!

Oh, I see you have an electric keyboard.

Well, it'd be a pity
if it became unplugged.

Hey, nice guitar.

It'd be a pity if it got retuned.

[PICKS STRINGS]

Hey, it took me four hours
to tune that thing!

-[GASPS]
-Oh, I see you have some sheet music.

Well, it would be a pity
if they happened to get...

reshuffled!

[GASPING]

And that's just a small sampler platter

of what we're capable of.

Stay out of the music business,

unless you wanna get played
like a secondhand drum fish.

[COMIC RIMSHOT]

Ow!

[MOOS]

Once again, thanks, Lonnie. For nothing.

You guys,

we cannot let the marching band
stop us from playing.

We have to do something!

BO: Well,
I reckon that's a bad idea, Milo.

-ALL: Bo Gregory!
-Howdy.

Lonnie and the marching band
are serious as a dust storm.

Why, they even stopped me
from all my jug-band playing.

[LOW GLASS MUSIC]

They ruined our band too.

Yeah.

They sabotaged the recording session
for our next album.

Gonna get married, whoa-h*-h*...

The marching band won't even
let anyone practice after school.

And just look what they did
to Clamantha and The Shiny Objects.

[PUNK MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, that's not so bad.

Well, I don't care
what the marching band says!

Music should be for everyone!

Now, who's with me?

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]

Okay. Well...

I'm still gonna play!

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

Doo

Doo, doo, doo, doo,
Doo, doo, doo, doo...

What is that noise?

[HUMMING]

Well, it only took me six hours,
but my guitar is finally back in tune.

Perfect. Bea and Her Boys
are back in business.

Now, Oscar, what do you think
of our official band poster?

[EXCLAIMS]

Guys, guys,
I cannot find my kazoo anywhere.

Did you check behind your back?

It's not there!

[KAZOO PLAYING]

That's her! I'm coming, baby!

[GASPS, SHRIEKS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

No!

What have you done? You monsters!

I warned you, Milo.

Don't ever play music ever again!

[CAR HORN BEEPS]

Aw! Cheer up, Milo.

I'm sure you can win
plenty of other good instruments

from the claw machine.

But we bonded, Bea.

I even named her Kazooey.

Uh, guys, I don't mean to be
Captain Wet Blanket or anything,

but maybe we should just
forget all this music stuff.

Or maybe we need to give the marching band
a dose of their own medicine.

All right, everyone,
let's open up with "Freshwater Spirit."

Uh, except this time let's play it
even more awesomely. Ready?

Uh, Lonnie, my sousaphone's all sticky.

-What?!
-My sticks are sticky, too!

Guys, it tastes like honey.

BAND: Ugh!

-[INHALES]
-[HORN PLAYS]

-[GROANING]
-Gross!

What the... Who put rich, creamy honey
all over our instruments?

[HORN PLAYS]

Lonnie, look!

The heck?

[GRUMBLING]

[GRUMBLING CONTINUES]

How was band practice, Lonnie?

-Sweet like honey?
-[GRUMBLES]

You have left me
with no other choice, Milo.

Your band, my band, out on the field,
for a battle of the bands.

[GASPS]

Fine! And if we win,

everyone in Freshwater can play music
whenever they want.

Fine. And when my marching band wins,

no one other than us
can play music ever again...

forever.

[GASPS]

Let's jam.

[MARCHING MUSIC PLAYS]

You're going down, Milo,

like a cheesy wedding singer
on the Titanic!

MAN: [SINGING]
We're gonna get married

Yeah, well, Bea and Her Boys

-ain't afraid of squat!
-Yeah!

Ready your instruments!

Battle!

[ALL YELLING]

Ow!

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

[GASPS] Oscar!
[GRUNTS] Here!

Huzzah!

Circle march!

Oh, guys, we're completely surrounded.

-[SHRIEKS]
-It's over, Milo.

You're trapped
like a chubby baby in a tuba.

[BABY STRAINING]

The music belongs to us! [LAUGHS]

FINBERLEY: No!

Get 'em!

Charge!

[HORN PLAYING]

-Take that, take that!
-Take that, take that!

Yeah, girl. Shake it.

[WAILS]

No!

Oh, Lonnie?

Milo!

[GRUNTS]

[MILO GRUNTS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

MILO: Now it's over, Lonnie!

Music is for everyone!

All right, fine.

[CHEERING]

Just remember,
we're still better than all of you.

Thank you... for nothing!

Hey, that's my line!

Yay, he's gone!

Well, you did it, Milo!

You stuck to your g*ns,
and you saved music.

Well, hey, I couldn't have done it
without all of you guys.

What do you say, buddy?
Play us one for the road?

I thought you'd never ask.

Derpa-derpa
Doo-doo doo-doo!

Music is free. Let's all play kazoo!

Those fish always seem
to be learning lessons.

Oh, how come we never get to do that?

Guess it's 'cause you just can't

-learn a lesson in 28 seconds.
-[CHINA SMASHING]

Oh, I'm sorry!

My favorite plate!
You did that on purpose!

You've always been jealous of my plate!

I said I was sorry.

-I hate you!
-I hate you!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

I'm sorry.

-No, I'm sorry.
-Friendship is more important than plates.

Hey, I guess you can
learn a lesson in 28 seconds!

Amazing! And there's still time to...