01x04 - Bea Stays in the Picture/Fish Out of Water

[bunniefuu]

[BUBBLING]

-[SONG BEGINS]
-One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell!

[SONG ENDS]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[CAMERA CLICKS]

Smile for the camera.

No. No, like... like you mean it.

You guys, I am so nervous

Me too. Check out
the pit stains on my tux.

What? It's just school picture day.

I mean, we do this, what, every year.

I know,
but this time it's different, Milo.

This time it's high school.

[WHIPS]

Most people don't realize
what a big deal this is.

This could be the most
important day of my life.

[GRUNTS] No, you said going to
the Britney Troutface concert

was the most important day of your life.

That was, like, 12 hours ago, Milo.

Imagine this. Five years from now,

you're on your way to see
my latest blockbuster,

but there, up on the screen,

"Pre-show movie trivia.

“Whose picture is this?"

And, boom! There it is!

The high school yearbook photo.

-[CAMERA CLICKS]
-All right, who's next?

Move it along.

Smile! Good. Good.

-[CAMERA CLICKS]
-Come on!

Let's see those pearly whites, people!

[GRUNTS]

-[CAMERA CLICKING]
-[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Bea, you're right!

If this is how I'm gonna be remembered,

then I'm gonna give this baby my A-game!

Cannonball!

-Ack!
-[CAMERA CLICKS]

You go next, Oscar. I'm not ready.

Love the new 'do, Oscar.

You look beautiful.

It's not a new 'do.

My hair just grabs onto combs
and doesn't let go.

I can be your comb.

Can I get some help with this, please?

[CLANGS]

Smile!

[TEETH CHATTERING]

-Next.
-[SIGHS] I'm ready for my close-up.

-Okay, now smile and say...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Can I just have a moment
to prepare myself?

I have a... There's a checklist.

Let's see. Ta-ta-ta...

-Tooth check!
-[SQUEAKS]

Roll-on!

-Hairspray!
-[CAN RATTLES]

[COUGHS] Why?

Let's rock this out.

[SNEEZES]

[CAMERA CLICKS]

Oh! Uh...

[SCREAMING]

Uh-oh! She's losing it again, Milo!

Is she, bro? Is she?

-[SCREAMING]
-Yes.

[LAUGHS] Ptoo!

Clamantha, you can't use that picture
in the yearbook.

Yeah-huh, I can.
I'm the yearbook editor.

Gimme the photo! No!

No! I have to look cute!

Oh, you'll get used to it, Bea.

After all, this picture
will follow you forever.

-CLAMANTHA: Forever. Forever.
-[HEART THUMPING]

Forever. Ah!

See you in the yearbook pages. [LAUGHS]

It's okay, Bea.
I look gross in all sorts of pictures.

I am not going to let the yearbook

ruin my life.

And that means I am staying
after the last bell...

to destroy that picture.

[BELL RINGS]

[VOCALIZES]
I'm a teenage clam.

Psst.

The oast-cay is ear-clay.

-Ear-clay? Oh, sick.
-Thanks for helping me, guys.

Clamantha must be keeping
the photos in her locker.

Can you two keep a lookout while I check?

Oh, here. Blow it off the hinges
with this Grow-Dino.

-Really?
-Sure.

Ptoo! Fire in the hole! [GRUNTS]

Hey, what are you kids doing out here
after the last bell?

-[GIGGLES] Nothing.
-My locker was stuck.

MILO: Trashcans don't really talk.

Works for me.

Oh, my gosh.

You guys have to see this.

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]

Whoa! It's a horror show.

Clamantha's totally obsessed with Oscar.

Ah! I... Wait. Wait a second.

Why is it a horror show
whenever a girl's into me?

No, no, it's not like that, Oscar.

It's just the whole shrine thing.

Sheesh, I don't know. Is it so weird

to have a shrine dedicated
to somebody you like?

BEA: If it's like this one, then, yes.

Okay, there are only
pictures of you in her locker,

so she must be keeping
the yearbook photos

in the yearbook office.

The school day is over,

but my work has just begun! LAUGHS]

Oh, great. [CHUCKLES] That's great.

Now we're gonna have to wait
until she comes out.

-[MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES]
-Without a doubt,

she ain't never coming out of that room.

She's locked in her own little world.

You might as well give up. Give up!

Wonderful. Now she's never coming out.

Thank you, Headphone Joe!

She ain't never coming out
Never coming out

Never coming out of that room!

Well, if Clamantha never comes out,

statistically speaking, we'll never get
your yearbook picture back.

Hmm. [GASPS]

I think I might know
how we can get her out of there.

I don't know, guys. Why can't Milo do it?

Look, we just need you
to cause a distraction for a few minutes

so we can go in and grab the picture.

Yeah, but it's Clamantha.

Come on, Oscar. I'll get you free passes
to my first movie.

Bring the pain.

Well, if it isn't my big hunk of sashimi.

-[CHUCKLES]
-Hey, hey, Clamantha.

I think I saw something shiny
down in the library area.

-Wanna check it out?
-Would I?

Ow!

Ha! Wha!

-Wha! [VOCALIZES]
-Milo!

Oh, right, right, right, the mission.

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

All right, let's just
grab the pictures and get...

Hey, this is
the yearbook office, isn't it?

COMPUTER CLAMANTHA:
Good evening, Clamantha.

Welcome back to the Yearbook Club.

Please input five-digit passcode.

-Ooh! Clamantha!
-Bea, don't you worry, girl.

Ain't no door ever been able to stop
the fins of fury!

Wah! [YELLS]

Yeah, you think you tough,
Clamantha door?

Huh? Huh? [YELLS]

You mad-dogging me, door?

You mad-dogging me?

Well, now you've called down the...

[PANTING]

...pinwheel of pain!

[YELLS]

Ugh! Ah!

Did you see that?

The door just sucker-punched me!

Milo, hand me your phone.

Good thinking, call the SWAT team.

-I'm calling Oscar.
-[RINGS]

-OSCAR: Hello.
-Hey, Oscar. [CHUCKLES]

-What, Bea?
-We have got a situation, Oscar.

You've got a situation?
I think I'm on a date with Clamantha.

You're on a date with Clamantha?

Way to go, bro!

There is somebody for everybody!

Um, that's on you, Oscar.
I just wanted a distraction.

I know, but things are spiraling
out of control.

On the phone at the table?

You're such a rebel!

Can you ask her
what her computer password is?

Um, hey, Clamantha,
can I ask you something?

[SLURPS]
Anything you want, dream-hottie.

But first you've gotta tell me
how pretty I am.

-Y-y...
-BEA: Oscar!

You guys owe me big!

OSCAR: [CRYING] It's my name!

-[BEEPS]
-The password is my name!

COMPUTER CLAMANTHA:
Password approved.

Yippee! Welcome to the Yearbook Club.

-Whoa. Ooh.
-Awesome!

Look, Bea, jackpot!

Last one there's a tuna!

-Pearls!
-Huh?

Oh, pearls.

[SCREAMS]

Ah! Help me! Get away from me!

Ow! Ooh! Ah! Eek! Ah!

Ugh. Milo.

-[SCREAMS]
-Hang on!

[CLANGING]

Oh, you have got to be
kidding me, Clamantha.

MILO: Whoa! Ah! Hey!

COMPUTER CLAMANTHA:
Engaging laser grid.

Lasers? Dude, that's cool.

Okay, not cool! Not cool!

[GRUNTING]

Nice.

-Thanks for saving my butt, Bea.
-[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

Okay, so that part,
that doesn't leave this room.

[GASPS]
These are the yearbook photos, Milo.

It's gotta be in here somewhere.

[GASPS] This is it. Ugh!

Just... don't scream.

Pfft! [LAUGHS]

That's the picture?

I know it's awful, Milo.
You don't have to rub it in.

No, I'm not laughing at you. It's just...

That's a regular picture.

It's not bad at all.

Yeah, but... but look.

I have fish lips

And my eyes are too far apart.

And see? Do you see
that little thingy there?

What is that thing?

Bea, you're beautiful.

Bea-yootiful. It's part of your name.

But I don't look like a movie star.

Bea, you just snuck
into a yearbook office,

saved me from pearls and lasers
flying all over the place,

all just to get that picture
which is, P.S., totally awesome!

With determination like that...
[CHUCKLES]

...there's nothing that's gonna stop you.

Milo... [CRYING]

Oh, Bea, I wasn't trying to be mean.

Shut up, Milo.

-Well, we did it.
-Thanks again for coming along, Milo.

I just feel bad about putting you
through all of this.

Pfft! You know me. I love adventures.

I was just more scared for Oscar
than I was for myself.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[GASPS] Oscar!

CLAMANTHA:
Isn't this enchanting,

watching the eclipse together tonight?

OSCAR: Well, I guess,
if you're into that kind of...

Wait, are we parked in Lovers Tank?

Isn't that where kids come
to hold hands and stuff?

Yeah, but I don't have any hands.

-Just lips.
-Yelp!

[RATTLES]

Pucker up, Butterfish! [KISSES, LAUGHS]

Clamantha, what are you doing
in the car with my man?

-[GASPS]
-Oscar!

Why didn't you tell me
Bea was your girlfriend?

A smart clam don't share her man.

Please get out of my car.

See ya, Clamantha.

Love never dies!

-[LAUGHS]
-[TIRES SCREECH]

[ROARS]

And don't come back,
or the zombies will eat you!

Way to hit your cue, Milo.

-Hey, it's all about timing, right?
-Huh! Right.

Bea, I can't believe
you actually did that.

What, dressed Milo up like a zombie?

[LAUGHS] That's... acting!

-No, you said I was your boyfriend.
-Acting!

Uh, well, I'm gonna act like
this day never happened.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

I'm with you on that one, Oscar.

I almost got my butt sliced off by lasers.

-[ALL LAUGHING]
-Yeah, that was funny.

-Oh, good times.
-Let's get out of here.

Seriously, though,
let's never bring this up again.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey!

BEA: I mean, think about it, Clamantha.

Up until now,
everyone has just known me as Bea,

your average mild-mannered goldfish.

But after I try out for the school play,
they'll see me as Bea Goldfishberg,

actress superstar!

Girl, I think you'll do great.

And let me help you out
with a little pearl of wisdom.

-Sure.
-[HACKING]

Oh. Um, thanks?

I'm a clam.

Oscar, you're coming
to my audition, right?

What? Um, uh...

-Is that a drawing of us?
-No!

[LAUGHING]

[PANTING]

All right, settle down. Eyes up here.

-Roll call.
-[ALL GROAN]

-Oscar.
-Present and ready to learn, sir.

-Bea.
-Here, and available for bar mitzvahs,

weddings, and baby showers.

-Esmargot.
-Here.

-Jocktopus.
-Jocktopus!

Milo. Milo?

-Where's Milo?
-[RUMBLING]

[SCREAMS]

-[ROARS]
-Here!

[COUGHING]

Whoo-hoo! All right!

Yeah, bringing the party.

Milo, you're late again.

Mr. Baldwin, you are never gonna guess
what happened this time.

-You were swallowed by an eel.
-I was swallowed by an eel!

So I'm in the bathroom
just eating my sandwich

when all of a sudden I'm like,
"What happened to my fork?"

-I looked down and...
-And nothing!

It can't be about you all the time, Milo.

You think you got problems?

Look at me. I'm pregnant.

-[ALL GASP]
-[LAUGHS]

You probably didn't know
that male seahorses could get pregnant.

Well, neither did I.

But life happens.

You're gonna have to decide, buddy boy,

between being a fish or a selfish...

fish.

Selfish fish? Me?

MILO: Me? Me? Me? Me? Me?

Me? Me?

Me, a selfish fish?

Oscar! Oscar!

Hey, hey, you don't think
I'm selfish, do you?

Look, bro, I love you,
but, yeah, you're a little selfish.

And you're blocking my game.

What?

Bea, stop what you're doing
and look at me.

Do you think I'm selfish?

I can't believe you guys think I'm selfish

when I've been planning this
awesome adventure for the three of us.

Check this out.

BEA: Watersuits?
What do we need Watersuits for?

Today we're going...

outside the tank!

Milo, I've got my auditions, remember?

Then there's no time
to wait for Watersuits.

Let's boogie!

Follow my lead.

-No, Milo!
-Milo, stop!

-What are you doing, Milo?
-You have to get down.

MILO: I can fly!

Help! Help, I can't fly! I can't fly!

[BOTH SCREAM]

[SCREAMING]

Oh, my gosh! Bea, what do we do?

We've got to get us some Watersuits now.

[GASPS] Oh, help, help!

Hello? Three Watersuits, please.

And the fastest delivery possible.

-[DOORBELL RINGS]
-BOTH: Whoo-hoo!

Hooray!

Um, maybe we should hold hands,
you know, for safety reasons.

Man up, Oscar.

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS]

-Ow, my face.
-Milo!

[GASPING]

[GASPING]

Milo, are you all right?

Well, if there's brain damage,
I sure can't feel it.

[CLUNKS]

You screwed up, bro. Screwed up.

I didn't screw up.

Come on, we're outside
the tank in Watersuits,

just like we always talked about.

Well, I'm going back inside the tank
to work on my audition.

Come on, Bea.

Exploring will give you
valuable life experience

that you can use for your acting.

You're right.
Many actresses have life experience.

Don't let him sell you on it, Bea.

And, Oscar, look at all
these different levels.

[VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING]

-Sold!
-So come on, guys.

-Who's with me?
-BOTH: Yeah, I guess.

-Maybe for an hour.
-It's gonna help me as an actress.

That's the spirit. Hot dog!

[SONG BEGINS]

Having an adventure my buddies and me

It's kind of hard to breathe
But it's easy to see

That you and me together
Make a perfect pair

Hey, look at that, it's a giant chair

Ha, ha, ha!

Yeah, this place is big
And crazy and weird, it's true

But it's not as weird and crazy
As my love for you

Friends!

[SONG ENDS]

[LAUGHING]

[BEEPING]

Eyes!

[LAUGHING]

See how much fun that was?

-BOTH: Well...
-Come on.

Milo. [SIGHS] I've got to admit,
that was incredible.

Did you see how big that chair was?

Now let's get Bea to her audition.

[RUMBLING]

Guys! Guys, are you seeing this?

Oh, my gosh, something's coming.
Something's coming!

[SQUAWKING]

[HOWLING]

[BUZZING]

Maybe he's friendly.

-[ROARS]
-[SCREAMING]

Run!

[PANTING, GASPING]

In there.

[GROWLS]

[BEA SCREAMS]

-[ROARS]
-[SCREAMING]

Well, Bea, if this is the end,
there's something I've got to tell you.

What is it, Oscar?

I've been wanting to tell you
that I'm a plumber.

Excuse me?

And you're a princess.

Uh, it's like we're both
in this giant video game.

And the plumber's trying
to get to the princess.

But there's always
this giant monkey in the way

and he keeps throwing barrels,
and all he's wearing is a tank top.

-No pants!
-What are you talking about?

I don't know.

BEA: Somebody get us out of here!

Oscar and Bea are in trouble.

This is all my fault.

Why? Why?

Why?

All right.

Oscar, Bea, hang in there.

I'm gonna...
I'm gonna do something.

[ROARING]

Oops, bad idea.

Eat laser, sucka!

[GROWLING]

Ah, oops.

[SCREAMING]

[ROARING]

Oh, my gosh, Bea. This is the end!

I just want you to know
that I think you're really...

MILO: Ugly!

Yeah, you.

You big ugly fuzz ball.

BOTH: It's Milo!

Check out my moves, sucka.

[SHOUTING]

[GROWLING]

Milo, no!

Whoo, ha! Oh, yeah!

[WHINING]

Dude, you totally saved us.

Hey, it's what I do.

Baldwin was wrong about you, Milo.

Yeah, that was totally unselfish.

Wow. Hey, you guys are right.

Cuddle puddle!

-No, wait. Milo!
-No, wait, Milo. Milo!

Milo!

-[GROANS]
-[ALARM BEEPS]

Oh, no, the audition. It's right now.

It's so far away. We'll never make it.

Yes, we will. I've got a plan.

[SCREAMING]

Oh, look, straight ahead.

MR. MUSSELS:
Well, you didn't get the part,

but don't you dare
give up on your dreams.

Someday you will be
on Fish Broadway for reals.

You're scaring me. [CRYING]

All right,
who's next on Mr. Mussels' list?

Bea! Bea!

Bea, hold on.

[MEOWS, PURRS]

[SCREAMING]

BEA: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

OSCAR: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

[FANFARE]

Wow! What an entrance!

But you're missing that
little special something.

Yeah! That's it!

Somebody call the police,
because you just stole the show.

You got the part, Bea.

[SQUEALS] I got the part, Oscar!

-[BOTH LAUGHING]
-I know.

[GROANS] What did I miss?

We did it, Milo. Aww.

You guys are the best friends
a girl could ever have.

No, you guys are the best friends
a girl could have.

Friends!

Uh, sorry, Mr. Mussels.

We're trying to have a little
friend group thing here.

It's just for us friends only.

Yeah, no problem.

Friendship is important.

Friends!

[BIRD SQUAWKING]

[CAT HOWLS]

SNAKE: I totally love watching these fish.

I mean, they're just like you and me,
only underwater.

Bah! Fish smish!

Let's switch back
to the tarantula for a while.

All right.

-OSCAR: Hey, Milo!
-[CRASHES]

Ow! What happened to the lights?

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Yeah! Whoo-hoo!