Miguel Wants to Fight (2023)

[bunniefuu]

♪ Bold music playing ♪

[crowd chatting happily]

[gruff voice narrating]

NARRATOR: The hero.

[narrator speaking]

- Miguel, you owe me $5.

[narrator speaking]

- [laughs] You've
cloned yourself?

[narrator speaking]

- Cass?!

[shouting, battle sound
effects play on laptop]

MIGUEL[on laptop]: Cass,
grab him by the ponytail!

[battle shouts continue]

DAVID: Hey, yo, Miguel!

♪ Hip-hop music playing ♪

♪ singer rapping in Spanish ♪

- Hey-ey-ey!
- [laughing] Hey!

- Bro, I'm working on the Naruto
video. It's comin' out fire!

- Oh, my God!

♪ Hip-hop music continues ♪

- Cass!

Cass!

[indistinct chatter]

- Hell yeah, my brother.
- Srini!

- Yo.
- Let me get some of those.

- Come back, you can't...
- Over top, over top.

CASS: Are you serious?

[indistinct chatter]

♪ Spanish rapping continues ♪

♪ music stops ♪
MIGUEL: Have y'all seen One Punch Man?

DAVID: No, what's that?

MIGUEL: It's this
anime about this guy

who's able to defeat any
opponent with just one punch.

- Oh, sh*t. That's a dope skill
to have. Just one punch. Mm!

- Or a really bad one.
- How's that?

- 'Cause he can't masturbate.

- What?
- I'm just saying,

if his hand is that strong,
he might get super into it

and accidentally one-punch
his own d*ck off.

It's too dangerous of a proposition.
I would never make that trade.

- What if it's the complete opposite?
What if he's, like, really good at it?

You know, just one
pull and... whoosh!

- Hey! Yo, don't aim your
imaginary jizz at me, bro!

- No... you're right.
- Fighting's a lot like masturbating.

DAVID: If fighting is a
lot like masturbating,

then you're doing one
of 'em really wrong.

- [snaps fingers]
"One Stroke Man."

- Ah! Yes.
- Yeah, all right.

- Wait, but hold on, though.

So, if you're a superhero and a
resulting effect of your superpowers

is that it only takes you
one stroke to... you know?

Now, does that make your life happier
or does that make your life sadder?

- Happier.
- Sadder. Come on. Think on it like eating.

Do you want to be tasting your
food or do you want to be full?

Eating's about savoring, like
experiencing that moment.

- You sound like the
Ratatouille of jerkin' off.

- No, I'm with David.
- You good.

- Not me, I'm in and out. You
never even knew I was there.

[snaps fingers] I'm
a beat-off burglar.

[David laughs]
- Beat-off burglar.

♪ Hip-hop in background ♪
- I'm so glad I don't have a d*ck.

♪ Hip-hop music continues ♪

MIGUEL: I gotta show
you guys something.

Check this out.

CASS: Oh, my God!

This looks crazy!
[laughs] [David laughing]

[expl*sive sound
effects] [Cass roars]

[cheering, laughing]

- That's your best one
yet, man! DAVID: Yo!

- Bang! Oh, what
a shot from Srini!

- Yeah, Srini! SRINI:
100% from the field!

Steph Curry on these b*tches!

- Nah, that ain't Steph Curry.

That's Indian Curry,
flavorful-a*s boy!

- You lost. Get off the
court, you saggy-faced b*tch.

- He does have a saggy face.
I never noticed that before.

- Yeah, looks like it's gonna
fall right off his skull.

- Man, how much does the
bottom of your face weigh?

That's sh*t's gotta be
like, what, eight pounds?

[Saul grunts] DAVID:
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Intense music playing ♪

SRINI: Saggy-face b*tch!
DAVID: Hey, yo, what the f*ck?!

[Srini grunts] CASS: Hey!

[grunting]

- Hey!

[teens shouting, cursing]

[shouting continues] ♪
intense music rising ♪

[dramatic sound effects]

NARRATOR: Fight!

- Hey. Sorry he said
that stuff to you, man.

That guy just super sucks.

- Thanks.

Most people are just
making an Aladdin joke

or a convenience store joke.

I appreciate he was
artisanal with his racism.

- Ooh! You should have
called him "CaBron James!"

Be... cause of the
Indian Curry thing?

- You know, cabrón in Spanish...
- No, mm-mm.

It's terrible.

- What about "Luka
Dog-d*ck"? SRINI: Nope.

- What about "James Hard-on"?
- No.

- 'Cause, you know...
- No, I get it. It's just not that clever.

- Hey, hey, Armando's outside. Can
we cross the street? Cool, thanks.

MIGUEL: He just got out
a couple of weeks ago.

That's the first
time I've seen him.

He hasn't even come
by the gym at all.

- How long was he in?

- Nine months.

- Well, imagine you go from you're
about to be a rich professional boxer

to you just got out of jail,

standing in your grandma's
front yard staring at meat.

MIGUEL: Holy sh*t.

[meat sizzling]

MIGUEL: Uh-oh. Where are
his cooking utensils?

- The next time we walk past, I'm
gonna yell his name like we're buddies,

so then we'll
actually be buddies.

- Why would you want
to be his friend?

He's not a badass, he's a b*tch.
- Ooh.

- Are you still mad because of
what he said about your dad?

- 'Course he's still mad because
of what he said about his dad.

[sizzling]

♪ ominous music playing ♪

- Ah, dammit.
- What's up?

- My f*ck' sweater
got torn in that fight.

- Yeah, man, they
tore my sh*t, too.

- How do you get your
pocket torn in a fight?

- Don't finger my pocket.

CASS: Miguel, you good?

- Huh? Yeah. I'm good.

I'm whole.

We all did, like, an equal amount
of, like, punches and whatnot.

SRINI: What?

Wait, did you not
get in the fight?

[scoffs]

- Huh?
- Huh?

You didn't get in the
fight? You didn't jump in?

- No, I was... I was
in there. I was just...

I was more like on the outside. I
was, I was maintaining the perimeter.

- How did you not jump in?
- People jump in, you jump in.

That's the rule.

- I was gonna, but it
was just over so fast.

And anyways, the other group had
what? Three people? We had four.

So it just... it
wouldn't be fair.

- This m*therf*cker was doing math.
- You gotta jump in, man.

- No, you don't.
- Look, it's whatever. Okay?

You guys are fine.
You always are.

I would have jumped in if you
really needed me to, but...

- Wait, hold on a second...
have you never jumped in before?

Like zero times?

- Irrelevant.

- [scoffs] Now this
m*therf*cker can't count.

- There's no way
you've never jumped in.

- Give me my f*ck' phone, Claudia.
- Your what?

- My what?

CASS: What about the time I got
into it with Claudia Dominguez

because she stole my phone?

SRINI: Oh, man, I remember
that. It was crazy.

I still can't believe you
open-hand slapped her.

[crowd screaming]

CASS: Miguel, I could have sworn
you had my back against that b*tch.

MIGUEL: Nope.

SRINI: Wait, but... I definitely remember
you jumping in that time at the movies.

- Yo, chill out!

[teens arguing]

- Look, I paid for my popcorn!

MIGUEL: You were wrong. I
didn't jump in there, either.

I didn't want to miss the movie.

Y'all didn't even watch
it. The guy fought a tiger.

[teens shouting]

SRINI: What about when David got
into it with that kid on Halloween

because he was f*cking with you?

DAVID: No, you got
in on that one.

MIGUEL: But you know what?

Yeah, it was me
and that one dude.

We were both looking at each other,
but I don' think either one of us

wanted to actually do it,

so we ended up just...
aggressively hugging.

Does that count?

SRINI: Oh, my God.

- David, did you know that he wasn't
in the fight? Did you know this?

- "Knowing" is a strong word. I...
- This is f*ck' blasphemy.

- It's Miguel, it's
not him. Come on.

- Have you ever
gotten into a fight?

- Yes.
- With who?

- Oh.
- Right.

- I don't see the point.

- How?
- How do I not see the point?

Because fighting is stupid.

- No. How have you not gotten
into a fight living here?

In this neighborhood. It's
like... what everyone does.

And you love fight movies! It's
the only thing you talk about.

- Also, your dad's
literally a boxing coach.

- I just haven't.

Okay? Fighting is bad. Right?

Like, on a scale of Good
Things and Bad Things.

SRINI: Nope. It's awesome.

- Well, I-I know you've
at least sparred, right?

- I mean, I'm at the gym, but
it's mainly because of my dad.

I'm just keeping the place clean,
and I don't really like the gloves.

They... make my hands sweaty.

- The gloves make
your hands sweaty?!

- Getting into a fight
alongside your friends

is how you know
you're really friends.

It's on the
friendship checklist.

- Srini might be a fast masturbating
idiot most of the time, but he's right.

It's a part of it.

- Hey, come on, no,
it is not. Jesus.

Y'all are so full of sh*t. You
just talk and talk and talk.

Drop it.

- We're just playing. We're
messing with you, bro.

- I know. I get it.

- Okay, what about this one?

You could've told Saul that
his mom is Michael wh*re-dan.

Or Kevin wh*re-ant.

Like a wh*re.

CASS AND SRINI:
Stop saying "wh*re."

♪ upbeat music playing ♪

- Hey, son. David.
- What's up, Mr. P.?

- Dorks. CASS: Hey, Coach.

SRINI: Mr. P.
- What's going on up here?

- Uh... It's nothing. I mean, we just
got into a little somethin' at the park.

Some guy said some "not nice"
stuff to Srini and then...

- I've told y'all already,

you wanna fight, you come
to the gym, not the street.

- Sir, how are you a boxing
coach who's anti-boxing?

- I'm not anti-boxing,
I'm anti-fighting.

One is dignified.

It has rules, and a ref
and safety equipment.

The other isn't and doesn't.

But at least y'all all stuck together.
That's a good thing, I guess.

What about you? No w*r wounds?

[door creaks open]

- His nail kind of got
me on my back, Dad.

- David, come, I've
got a plate for you.

DAVID: Thanks, Mrs. P.
I really appreciate it.

- You got a plate for me too?
- No.

- Awesome.
- I'm serious about the fighting thing.

- We got it, Dad.
- Yeah, Miguel's got it.

- Thank you. CASS:
Later, Coach.

SRINI: See ya. MIGUEL:
Gonna chill at David's, Dad.

- Don't forget to
bring back my plate.

SRINI: Hey, you wanna go get some pizza?
CASS: My dad's making dinner later.

SRINI: Yeah, I'm
on a diet, anyways.

- All right, bro, I'm
gonna sneak to the kitchen.

- Okay.
- Hey, Mama.

NINA: Hi!

[door shuts]

NINA: Is it my turn?

MIGUEL: Hi, Miss Nina.
- Hi, Miguel. Cómo está?

- Bien. What's up, Felipe?
- What's up?

[dishes rattling]
- Hey, who's winning?

[Nina speaking Tagalog]

NINA: Oh!

[speaking Tagalog]

DAVID: Of course.
- Good.

♪ Light music playing ♪

- Hey, Dad.

[spudders]

You good, bro?

- Yeah.

Yeah... do you miss boxing?

- [groans] Not really.

Look, if it's about the fighting
stuff, they're just being idiots.

You don't gotta do all that, bro.
- No, man, I know. I was just...

Just asking.

- So, look, um, I signed up
for this SAT prep course,

and I was just wondering if maybe you
wanted to do it too. Like, with me?

The math stuff makes way more sense
when you walk it through with me, bro.

- Oh.

- But obviously, if it's like a hassle
or anything, like, you got your own life.

So, you know.
- Bro, I got you!

- [sighs] Thank you, man.

'Cause I promised my dad I'd get
serious about getting into college...

- Mm.
- And the placement test is Friday,

and I just really need to
crush this sh*t, you know?

- Ooh, no. We're gonna crush it, but
we're gonna crush it Ip Man-style.

- For sure, but...
[mimics rapid punching sounds]

- Nah, like this. Faster.

[mimics rapid punching sounds]

[both laughing]

♪ Spanish-language
hip-hop playing ♪

♪ music stops ♪

- [clears throat] Hey, son,
why don't you come have a seat.

- Okay...?

LYDIA: It's okay, you're
not in trouble. Don't worry.

[Miguel sighs]

- It's likely going to be not
great when you hear this at first,

but I think eventually
it'll be good to you.

Um,

I got offered a new
job today. As an RN.

I applied a few weeks ago, and
this morning they told me I got it.

- Whoo! Congrats! RN. That's
amazing! Why is that a bad thing?

- We have to move.

- Like, to a better house
that's here on the street?

- The job is in Albany.

- Albany? Mom? That's
like two hours away.

- I didn't think I was gonna get it,
but then I thought, if I did get it,

you know, it wouldn't be for a few
months, but then somebody quit and...

- Wait, so, when does
all this stuff happen?

- In a week.
- A week?

LYDIA: Next Sunday, we'll make our
first trip down there. So eight days.

ALBERTO: It's gonna be a big change
for all of us, but it's a good thing.

It's a much nicer neighborhood
where we're looking.

This new neighborhood is like
the right weight class for you.

Do you know what I mean?

- No, I don't, Dad.

The boxing metaphors never work.

- You know how boxers have
different weight classes?

LYDIA: Babe, they
really don't work.

Remember when my
mom was in a coma

and you asked the doctor if
she was "down for the count?"

- Can I be excused, please?

- [inhales sharply] Yes.

[Lydia sighs]

♪ solemn music playing ♪

[door slams, echoes]

♪

♪ Intense hip-hop
music playing ♪

[boxers grunting]

- Get your head up, and
land, Ronny. Come on!

Don't cross your feet, Matt.

Pick up the pace, everybody!

On your toes! All
right, switch partners!

[both grunting]

- Pablo, use that jab.

Michael, stay small.

Get on the inside!

- What's up? Ain’t you Felipe’s son?
- Yeah, that was my dad, yeah.

- Okay, okay.

[indistinct chatter]

- Yo, what's up,
brother? How's it going?

- What's up, what's up?

- How's your mom?

- She's good. She's working.

She's working a lot now.
- Mm.

- Oh, she said to thank you
for the enchiladas yesterday.

They were b*mb.

- I'm glad.

You, um... wanna hit the
heavy bag like old times?

- No, I'm good, thanks. That was
more of a "me and my Dad" thing.

ALBERTO: He was a special
fighter, your dad.

Felt like he was hitting you with
two bags of concrete when he sparred.

They called him the
Ferocious Filipino.

- That's a terrible nickname.

- Yeah. [chuckles] He hated it.

Listen, David, um,
things are changing,

but, um, me and Lydia, we're always
gonna be here for you no matter what.

- So how are things changing?
- Yo, yo, yo.

Yo. Chill.

What's up? I'm good,
right? Everything's done?

- Yeah, you're good.
- Okay.

What's he talking about, bro?

- I have no idea.

But he got real weird on me, bro.
You might want to check on your dad.

SRINI: Yeah. No, I could absolutely k*ll
a bear with my hands if I needed to.

- Hey! We're going to The Cave.

SRINI: All I'm saying is, if a
bear couldn't k*ll Leo DiCaprio,

a bear's not k*lling me.

DAVID: You've never even
got this far, bro. I did.

- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.

- I'm looking at the game.
- Are you... Are we...

- You definitely didn't.
- Are you watching the same screen as me?

- You're not going to
make it past this level.

This man is a maniac.

DAVID: Let me do this combo. SRINI:
You're never gonna be a real samurai.

CASS: Bro, you gotta
swing over to that.

- [echoing] Slice, slice, slice.

[voices fade, all three
continue chatting indistinctly]

DAVID [echoing]: He's done.

- The job is in Albany.

- It is like the right
weight class for you.

- Pull the sword. People
jump in, you jump in.

That's the rule.

- Getting into a fight
alongside your friends,

is how you know
you're really friends.

- It's Miguel. It's
not him, come on.

GROUP [chanting]: Fight, fight,
fight, fight, fight, fight, fight...

- I need your help.

- Did you try to "One Stroke
Man" yourself last night too?

I didn't. Unless you did.

In which case I also
did, and it didn't work.

- What the hell? I don't
wanna help with that.

- No. I wanna get into a fight.

- What?
- What?

- [snaps fingers] Oh, you
should fight an old man.

- What the f*ck?

- I don't wanna beat up an old man,
but I... I do wanna get into a fight.

- Why?
- Uh, don't ask him why.

Wait, who cares why?

- Is it because these two
idiots gave you a hard time?

You don't have to fight because of that.
- No, it's...

- I've always wanted to say, "f*ck
you, you old b*tch," to an old man.

- I just want to.
- But why?

- Oh, my God. Let
the man be, David.

If he wants to fight, he
should fight. CASS: Hmm.

- Just support him, like he supported
you when you bought that shirt.

- Those gotta be the strongest
buttons in the world.

- It's supposed to
fit like this, though.

This is chic.
- Okay.

- Honestly, I think it'd be pretty
funny to watch Miguel get beat up,

and I don't need much
more reason than that.

- For real though, David?

I've never fought anyone
and I wanna fight.

I mean, that's a part of the
friendship checklist, right?

- Yep.
- That's exactly what I said.

MIGUEL: Come on, David.

- If you want me to help,
I'm gonna help. I got you.

But I'm just saying, I
don't get it, is all.

Like, why now?

- What do you mean?

- Well, you've known all this time
that you haven't gotten into a fight

and it hasn't
bothered you before.

Or at least it hasn't bothered you
enough to do anything about it.

So, what's changed?

- "The Bona Lisa"
changed everything.

- [whispering] Bona Lisa?

- Okay, class, ten more minutes to
finish recreating the Mona Lisa.

- I don't know, ma'am. This feels like
way too difficult of an assignment.

- [sighs] I'm just
substituting, Srini.

Okay? The most exciting
part of my day today

was getting breakfast for
lunch in the cafeteria.

Just do the best you can.

♪ Lively percussive
music playing ♪

- Yo. Holy sh*t.
Miguel got a b*ner.

Yo, Miguel got a b*ner from Mona Lisa.
- No! No, no, I don't.

It's just, it's my pants.
[students chattering excitedly]

MIGUEL: My jeans are
stretched out from my belt.

MRS. RODRIGUEZ: Please stop pressing
your p*nis, Mr. Perez. Adrian, callate.

MIGUEL: It's just a belt. Look!

- Oh, sh*t, Bona Lisa's
taking his pants off now.

MRS. RODRIGUEZ: Adrian,
stop saying "Bona Lisa."

Miguel, go over there
and compose yourself.

Stop smiling. I can see
you. [students laughing]

- Bona Lisa!
STUDENTS: Bona Lisa!

[bell dings]
STUDENTS: Bona Lisa!

- But it wasn't a b*ner.
It was just my pants.

- It's fine, it's fine.
It's a very erotic picture.

- Dude.

- Okay, so we need to
establish the parameters first.

We need a framework
here. We need rules.

- Ooh, like Fight Club.
- Mm. Mm.

- What's that?

- Okay. Miguel is obviously
not a bully, right?

He's a good person, which
means the first rule is,

Miguel can only fight
someone who deserves it.

[bell dings]

CASS: You can't just pick some kid
indiscriminately the way a bully would.

There needs to be some
kind of justice involved.

- I like that. I like that.
- I kind of like that too.

Rules might make this
good. CASS: Right?

- Yeah. DAVID:
Okay, I got one.

If you wanna fight someone, Miguel
can't throw the first punch.

[bell dings]
- Why can't I throw the first punch?

- Okay, think about it.

The process of getting into a fight is
just as important as the actual fight.

That pre-fight buildup is where
all your energy increases,

and your adrenaline hits,

and your heart gets going,
and your blood gets hot,

and your d*ck gets
hard for the Mona Lisa.

- [snaps fingers] Come on.
- One more rule.

Stay away from Damien Delgado.

♪ Ominous sting ♪

[bus engine idling]

♪ ominous music playing ♪
DAMIEN: Hey!

Hey!

[hydraulic brakes hiss]
- sh*t!

Hey, take... take it easy. All
right? STUDENT: Oh, my God!

- Just take it
easy. Just take...

[grunts]

[bus driver screams]

♪

- Obviously I'm not gonna
fight Damien Delgado.

It's Adrian. That's
who I'm gonna fight.

- Yeah, now, Adrian
is lean and fast.

- Right.

So? SRINI: So?

- So you're about to get into a
fight and you need to be prepared.

You need strategy like...

Like Bruce Lee.

[beast roars, fist strikes]

MIGUEL: Holy sh*t.
CASS: Mm-hmm.

- I've been sponging this stuff
for years, fighting by osmosis.

I mean, I might be
an accidental master.

- Maybe. Probably
not, but maybe.

CASS: Look, I want you
to imagine the fight.

The best fighters visualize
their victories beforehand.

They see themselves
winning, so they win.

- They also win because it's
their job and they train for it,

and they get paid to do it.

And they're not motivated
by erection vengeance.

- Bruce Lee was motivated to stop
prostitution in Enter the Dragon.

I mean, so they both kind
of involve erections, David.

- See, that's good.
Use all of this. Okay?

Now, close your eyes
and enter that dragon.

- Okay.

♪ Mystical music playing ♪
[film projector whirring]

♪ suspenseful music playing ♪

♪

- Srini!

- Go!

♪ Funky music playing ♪

- Holy sh*t. Miguel got a b*ner.

[laughing]

- H'yah!

[applause]

- Why are you dressed like
the chick from k*ll Bill?

[slicing sound]

- It's from Game
of Death, stupid.

- Little tight around
the crotch, bro.

[both grunting]

[Miguel grunts]

[Adrian grunts]

[metallic click]

[roaring]

[both grunting]

♪ funky music continues ♪

[Adrian grunts]

- [yells] Ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

- Why are you punching
him in the butt?

- Ah, ah, ah!

- Hey, watch out!

[thuds, bricks clatter]

[exhales sharply]

[mystical sound
effects whirring]

♪ funky horns playing ♪

[grunts]

- I've spared you because
I'm a good person.

- [laughing] You've
got a b*ner right now.

- Huah!

[horn blowing with each kick]

- Ha! It was not a b*ner!

[applause]

ALL: You did it, Miguel!

♪ Triumphant horn riff plays ♪

- I think that worked.

I'm ready.

♪ Spanish-language
hip-hop playing ♪

- Look, bro, just so
it's said one more time,

you don't have to do this
if you don't want to, bro.

- Yeah, I hear you, but I'm gonna
go Fists of Fury on this guy.

Like Bruce Lee and
Jet Li versions.

DAVID: All right. Well, make
sure to keep your head moving.

CASS: You all set? MIGUEL: Yep.
I ate a muffin this morning.

SRINI: What kind?
- Blueberry.

SRINI: Good, good. That's the... That's
the strongest of all the muffins.

DAVID: All right, bro,
so what's the plan here?

- Well, I usually see Adrian after third
period, so that's when I'll try him.

Always see him in the hallway
with his friends being all like...

- Handsome?

- Not for long.
- Oh, my God, I love it.

TEACHER: Good morning,
everyone. [bell dings]

[clock ticking] BOXING
ANNOUNCER: And in this corner,

the best friend, the
toughest guy in Syracuse.

He is so tough.

Migueeeel!

♪ Suspenseful music playing ♪
[teacher lecturing in background]

♪

- Types of creative writing include
poetry, plays, personal essays,

blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.

Hey, Miguel. You
gonna beat his a*s?

- Yes.

[bell rings]

- I gotta go, Ms. Rodriguez.

MRS. RODRIGUEZ: We'll get into
Lord of the Flies next time.

- Watch his eyes, all right?
- You got it, bro.

- I'm about to drop
this handsome b*tch.

- He steps with that left foot
forward, be careful of that quick jab.

- Oh, if he steps that left foot forward,
he's gonna get punched the f*ck out.

Where's he at?

Ooh. There he is.

DAVID: Yo, I thought y'all was
playing, but he is for real handsome.

♪ Suspenseful music playing ♪

- Okay.

BOXING ANNOUNCER: And
now, entering the ring,

a born fighter who always
has his best friend's back.

And just like I was saying earlier,
he's the toughest guy in Syracuse.

Ladies and gentlemen,
let's get ready to...

Oh, what the f*ck, bro?

♪ Music slowing down, fading ♪

SRINI: What?

- Oh, sh*t. [laughs]

MIGUEL: You got a cast?

- Bona Lisa, what's up, man?
Still getting horny in class?

Wanna sign my cast?
[snickering, laughing]

Bona Lisa!

[bell rings] [Adrian laughing]

MIGUEL: So now what?
- You can still fight him.

- You can't fight a
kid with a broken arm.

- Yeah, sure you can. A
broken leg, that's off limits.

A broken neck, that's a
no-go, but a broken arm?

- I mean, if you
really think about it,

that thing is kind of like
an advantage for Adrian.

That thing's like a weapon.

You kind of owe it to your classmates
to beat his a*s. He's dangerous.

- Nah, man, I'm out.
[Cass scoffs]

- Great.

- So let's pick someone else.

- Ah.
- What?

- Awesome. But, Miguel,

we need to do some work on you.

Stop asking so many
questions. You gotta focus.

- Wait, so what
are we doing here?

- The problem is you're too nice.
- Thank you?

- While being nice is good for,
like, life, it's not good for fights.

- So we need to un-nice you.
- Right.

- Which is what we're doing here.
- This is the plan.

So I'm gonna point to someone at
random and you have to be mean to them.

- Wait, but that seems like
not that great of a plan.

David, what do you
think about this?

- I think that none of this
has made any sense, man.

But I also think I kind
of want to see this one.

- Let's go! Yeah!

Let's find somebody.

- Hell no. You guys crazy?

That's a grown man.
He's probably got kids.

[gulps] I'll fight his kids.

CASS: No, that's not our guy.

♪ Cheerful music
playing in store ♪

MIGUEL: No. No. No, you
already said Damien's out.

- Well, I guess it's
gotta be the next person.

That's our guy. That's the f*ck.

MIGUEL: He's barely moving.
He's maybe not even alive.

- He's you. That's old you.
- Y'all even dress alike.

SRINI: It's a Back to
the Future situation.

You gotta bully future
you to save present you.

- No, no, no, Srini, Back to the
Future doesn't work that way.

- You gotta do it. You feel the way
that you're recoiling from the idea?

That's how you know
you have to do it.

That's how you know it's
gonna make you un-nice.

Then you'll be ready to fight.

- I'm annoyed by how much
sense this makes, but f*ck!

Fine, fine, fine.

- Go over there and say to him exactly
what's written down on this paper.

[friends laughing]

- Just be mean.
Un-nice yourself.

Gotta be un-nice.
- Just go.

EMPLOYEE [over intercom]: Manager to
register two. Manager to register two.

- Oh, sh*t.

DAVID: Oh, my God.

- Can you help me with
the Raisin Bran, please?

It's too heavy.

[muttering indistinctly]

Not that one. The other
one right there, this one.

Oh, no wait a
minute. Never mind.

Give me that one, better. Yeah.

Yes, mijo. Thank
you. Thank you, mijo.

- Wait.
- Go back there.

- Sir.

- Yes, mijo?

- I, uh...

[softly] f*ck you,
you old b*tch.

- Huh?

- f*ck you, you old b*tch.

SRINI [whispering]: Come
on. Just pick up the volume.

- f*ck you, you old b*tch!

[man gasping]
[friends laughing]

MAN: What the hell?

- You screamed it! Why
did you say it so loud?

[laughing, chattering]

♪ hip-hop music pounding ♪

[excited indistinct chatter]

♪ hip-hop music continues ♪

[boxing sound effects]

[Srini grunts]
- Like Ali, yeah.

I got it now.
- Don't back up into the screen, bro.

- ♪ One more with... ♪

- Hey! Look at you gettin' cut.

SRINI: Don't beat
the evidence, bro.

CASS [rapping]: ♪ They
don't want to date me ♪

♪ Probably want to be me ♪

♪ Me, Miguel, David, Srini ♪

- Oh!
- What?

I'm telling y'all, it's only a
matter of time when that wall says...

[indistinct chatter, laughter]
CASS: You know what I mean?

Only a matter of time.

I need this whole
section right here.

DAVID: Yo, yo, Cass, Srini.
Should we go kick it with Miguel?

MIGUEL: Oh, wait. Chill, chill, chill.
Um, I'll meet you guys at The Cave.

SRINI: Man, yeah.
- Yeah, I'll be right there. [laughing]

♪ intense hip-hop continues ♪

♪ music stops ♪

[door creaking]

[footsteps approaching]

LYDIA: Aw, always
the four of you.

I remember when you all first
started hanging out together.

You were all these
tiny little things.

Babies, really.

It's okay to be upset about
leaving. You know that, right?

- I'm fine. Okay?
Everything is... it's fine.

- Okay, good. I'm glad.

How'd your friends take it when
you told them you were leaving?

- I'm gonna tell them,
but I just... not yet.

- Why?

- Because once I tell them, then it
becomes something that's actually true.

- I know it's hard, but
it's better now than later.

When you bottle up your feelings

and you keep secrets away from the people
that you care about, they can explode.

Make you do crazy things.
- Yeah.

- Like set a trash can on fire and
throw it through the windshield

of your first boyfriend's car
who you freaking caught cheating.

- Mom, Mom, Mom.

- Right. But you
should tell them.

Tonight.

- Yeah, you know what?

You're right. I'm gonna
go tell them right now.

I know who I'm
fighting. Kevin Troy.

- Kevin Troy?
- The Air Morgans guy?

- Who?
- The Air Morgans guy.

♪ Funky music playing ♪

MIGUEL: So it's the
day after my birthday.

I'm wearing the new Nike
high-tops that my mom got me.

It's those red and black
Jordans? The main ones?

The banned ones. I'm
a king at school.

I'm walking through the hallway
and people are giving me high-fives

and shouting my name because
of how awesome these shoes are.

Even a teacher tried to
kiss me. It was crazy.

SRINI: This all sounds
fake, but I don't care.

Lie to me.

MIGUEL: So it's PE. Kids all
around me. I'm feeling great.

I hear a rumor that I might
get voted Homecoming King.

It's all breaking my way.

Shoes look remarkable.

That's when Kevin Troy walks up.

- Hey, Miguel.
MIGUEL: I say...

What's up, Kev?

His name's Kevin,
but I call him Kev,

even though I've never
talked to him before,

because that's just
how good I was feeling.

Kevin's looking down at my feet like
he's real curious about my shoes.

And I'm like...

Nice, right? Got
'em for my birthday.

I can ask my mom where she got
them from if you wanted a pair.

And that's when
it all fell apart.

- Hey, yo, come check out
these fake a*s Jordans.

- Because here's the part
I didn't tell anyone.

The shoes were fake. My mom
got 'em from the flea market.

The little Jordan on there wasn't
even dunking it, he was laying it up.

The swoosh was
actually a check mark.

The shoes don't even say
"Air Jordan" on them.

I swear to God, they
said "Air Morgan."

[students laughing]
- Look at them.

TEEN: Oh, my God, your
mom doesn't love you!

KEVIN: You know what
a swish looks like?

A swish goes
swoosh. [bell dings]

- Honestly, I don't know why I
didn't pick him in the first place.

He should have
been my first pick.

- Know what? Let's
scout this thing.

Kevin is a little older than you.
- Mm-hmm.

- Kevin knows more than you.
- Mm-hmm.

- He's slightly a better fighter than you.
- Mm-hmm.

- So he's...
- Morpheus in The Matrix.

- Yeah, that feels a
little... Is that r*cist?

'Cause they're both Black?

- Maybe a little.
- One, he knows more than me.

CASS: Mm-hmm.
- Two, he's a better fighter than me.

So you know what that makes me?

Neo.

- Kevin probably loves The Matrix.
- Is that bad?

- Everybody loves The Matrix.
- I'm on Miguel's side, okay?

Everything Kevin Troy
does is stupid! Mm!

CASS: Look, you
know what to do.

Just close your eyes and visualize it.
- Mm-hmm.

CASS: Jack yourself in, Neo.

♪ Ethereal music playing ♪

- This is a sparring program, similar
to the program reality of The Matrix.

It has the same basic rules.

Some of them can be bent,
others can be broken.

You understand?

Then hit me, if you can.

[electronic sounds droning]

[squeaking]

- Ah!

[both grunting]

♪ intense music playing ♪

[both grunt]

[Miguel groans]

[gasps]

KEVIN: Ha!

[Miguel exhales sharply]

- Good. Adaptation,
improvisation.

[electricity buzzes]

- You cloned yourself.

But will you give up your
true self to defeat me?

- Eat sh*t, Kevin Troy!

[Kevin grunts] [Miguel groans]

- Why did I beat you?

Do you think me being a better fighter
has anything to do with this place?

Do you think those are Air
Jordans you were wearing?

[group laughing]

[high-pitched giggles]

KEVIN: Oh, my God, your
mom doesn't love you!

♪ Intense drums beating ♪

♪ horn fanfare playing ♪

[slight chuckle]

[both grunting]

♪

[electricity surging]

- Ah, f*ck.

♪ Music fades ♪

- When do you see Kevin?
- In the morning.

- We have the math prep thing in
the morning, it's Tuesday. Remember?

- Oh, sh*t, I forgot about that.

Can we, like, maybe schedule
a different time for that?

- Yeah, um, yeah. Okay.

Uh, I think I'm still
gonna go to the meeting.

And I think you should too.

You'll probably finish in
time to find Kevin anyways.

Or better yet, you won't.

And then you don't pick a
fight for no reason at all.

- Awesome.

See how excited everyone is?

f*ck yeah.

♪ Funky drums playing ♪

♪ funky music playing ♪

- Um, no, I've never dated an
Indian guy. Why do you ask?

- No reason.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- All right.

- Whoa, you're wearing the Morgans.
- Whoo!

- Nice touch.
- Full circle.

[sighs]

- Yo, yo. Did I miss the big fight?
- Not yet.

- There's Kevin.

- All right, bro. If sh*t
goes south, I'm jumping in.

- No, dude. I got this.

Stay back, so it's just me.

- Ooh, I like that confidence.

- All right, tough guy.

He's even got a
strong walk going on.

♪ Funky music continues ♪
[indistinct chatter in background]

- All right.
- So far, so good.

- You were talking to me, and you
were bringing up my Air Morgans.

- Guys, this sh*t
might happen today.

SRINI: f*ck him up. CASS:
All right. Come on, Miguel.

[Miguel and Kevin laughing,
chatting indistinctly]

CASS AND SRINI:
What's happening?

[camera shutter clicks] CASS: Why is he
taking a selfie with the Air Morgans?

- This is taking
a real left turn.

- All right, bro.

- Oh, my God. I can't keep watching this.
[Srini groans]

CASS: He tried to dap him, and he acted
like he was pulling a sword on him.

KEVIN: You good.

[Srini gags]

- So he reached out his hand
to dap you up and you flinched?

- I twitched.
- Your full body flinched.

It was like a whole thing.

- Dude, what happened?

- I accidentally made
friends with him.

- How the f*ck do you accidentally
make friends with someone

you're supposed to fight?

- I don't know.
He's very charming.

- Okay. KEVIN: [whistles]

Talk to you later, bro.
MIGUEL: Yeah, tu sabe.

So he actually recognized the Air Morgans
'cause his parents got him the same ones.

So he apologized.

But then I told him that I was
gonna fight him like I was Neo,

and he was Morpheus in The
Matrix, in the dojo scene.

But it wasn't
because he was Black.

- Why would you actually say that?
- You didn't even have to bring that up

in the first
place. [bell rings]

- I gotta go to class.

♪ Funky music playing ♪

- Wow.
[Srini sighs]

♪ music fades ♪

- Bro, I know you had to
get your mind right and all,

but f*ck, dude, that test
prep this morning sucked.

Man, they just started talking
about equations and sh*t,

and it's like my brain
just falls outta my nose.

So here's what I was
thinking for this next page.

Yo, do you not wanna
do this anymore, bro?

- Yeah. I still wanna fight. Why do
you keep trying to talk me out of it?

- I'm not trying to talk you out of it,
man. I'm just trying to do this math.

- Oh, right, yeah.

Sorry, I just, uh...

Can we pick this up after
school tomorrow, please?

- Sure. But the test
is Friday, so...

- No. I know. I'm just, uh...

Oh, Cass and Srini
are downstairs.

- Look, man, I know this
is just a practice test,

but it does determine what
SAT course you get placed in.

And if I crush this, we'll be in the
same classes next semester the whole way

and we can just
study together, man.

- Right.

Yeah. I got you.
Don't worry about it.

Come on.

- What's going on, man?

- I just... I really want
to get this fight done.

- I still don't get why you wanna
do the fight thing. Who cares?

I mean, they care, but they only
care because they love mayhem.

They're the f*cking Killmongers
of our friend group.

Look at this sh*t, bro.
- Bam. You're done.

- A kick's not impressive.
- Easy. You're done.

- That's not an impressive maneuver.
- Never recovering.

- Who's Black Panther?
- I got the dead dad, so me, I guess.

You could be Shuri,
though. Or that White guy.

- Normally I'm fine being someone else,
but I need to be Black Panther this time.

- All right. I
get it, man. I do.

My whole family, I mean,
most of them are crazy,

but the one thing they can
all talk about is boxing.

It's like the biggest thing.

My dad? Well, you see what
it's like when I go to the gym.

Everybody wants to brag
on how good he was.

It's like, so what? He's gone.

He's on his way home from the gym
one day and someone runs a red.

That's it.

I don't know. Like, how
am I supposed to accept...

- Hey, man!
Armando, what's up?

Glad to have you back home
where you belong. Free.

All right, cool, cool. Uh,
we'll talk more next time, man.

[friends snickering]

- Hey, no disrespect to my man,
but this m*therf*cker dead.

I'm keeping the lights on in this
b*tch. How come my picture not up there?

- f*ck you! What did you say?

- Dude!
- No, no, no. Come on. Walk it off.

- Say that sh*t again.
That's my f*cking dad.

[spits]

ARMANDO: Alma, hey.

- You're 0 for 2
on fights so far.

- Yeah, but you're 1 for
2 on making new friends.

- I've been thinking
Blake White.

Think that's who I'm gonna try next.
'Cause I always see him after school.

- Who is that? What...
What did he do to you?

- No, you know Blake. He's
the one whose sister...

- Oh, that's right. Wait.

- First of all, that was
like over a month ago.

And second of all, she's fine.

And third of all,
he's a total d*ck.

All he does is make fun
of people. He's a bully.

- Hey, Dumbo, you got a
license to fly with those ears?

Oh, can't you hear me, man?

[bell dings]

- I thought it had to be someone who
did something specifically to you.

- I'm ensuring egalitarianism,
like a superhero.

- But you're more like Peter Parker
before he becomes Spider-Man energy.

- Yeah, the problem is you're
still afraid of getting hit.

That's why you flinched with
Kevin when he reached out.

You can't flinch.
- That makes sense, though.

You have never been
hit in the face before,

and not knowing what that feels like is
way worse than knowing what it feels like

because it's a natural fear, but
it's not as bad as you think.

MIGUEL: Hmm.

- So just like we had to un-nice
you, now we gotta un-flinch you.

- And how's that?

- Well... Right?
- God.

- Right. Ha. Let's try
again. MIGUEL: I'm chill.

- Let's try it again. All right. Ready?
- Okay. Let's go.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

DAVID: Ooh! sh*t!

- That's so hot.
- What the f*ck, Cass?

- Had to be done.
- No, it did not.

- It did, because now you're
mean enough to get into a fight,

and you know what to
expect in a fight.

Now you're really ready.

- Once again, I'm annoyed by
how much sense that makes.

[thunder crashing]

- Hey, what's up, Blake?
- f*ck off.

[slurps]

[sighs]

- Ooh!

[bell dings]

- What the f*ck?
- No, it's fine. It's gonna dry off, bro.

- Don't touch me!

[Miguel grunts]

[Damien grunting]

[Miguel grunts]

[Damien thuds]

[Miguel groans]
[knuckles crack]

- Hey, what the f*ck
is going on here?

♪ Ominous sting ♪

- David.

[Damien grunts]
[Miguel groans]

[Damien grunts]

[David grunts]

♪ hard rock music playing ♪

[both grunting]

♪

[David yells]

[bodies thud]

[Damien yells] [David grunts]

[David panting]
[Damien grunts]

[Damien yelling]

[bodies thud] [tile clatters]

[grunting]

- Stop. Stop,
stop! Can you stop?

♪ Ominous sting ♪

[thunder crashing]

[panting]

- [sighs] Oh, my God.

- What's this?

- I watched some roast videos on
YouTube, and I wrote some stuff down.

- You're gonna read to
Blake? That's your plan?

- Yeah, I mean, I was practicing
all night. This is solid.

- Okay. You're on, Miguel.
- And don't let him get a word in, right?

- You're a flame thrower.
- Flame thrower.

Blake!

- Hey, what's up? DAVID: Why
did he say that sh*t so loud?

- Man, I don't
know, but I like it.

- You look like you
threaten to call ICE

whenever something doesn't go your
way at, at Mexican restaurants.

STUDENTS: Ooooh!

- You look like... you look like
your family invented G*ntrification.

You look like you
argue on the internet

that it's okay for White
people to say the *-word.

STUDENTS: Ooh!
- Man. He's doing a lot of race stuff.

- Shouldn't you be sitting outside a
Home Depot right now looking for work

or helping your mom sell tamales in
the parking lot of a grocery store?

- Oh, that's why he
did the race stuff.

Blake is r*cist.
- Yeah.

- You look like your d*ck
probably called 911 on you

because you were
beating it too much.

[students laughing]

- Oh, well, that
one's not r*cist.

- Because, you know, Mexicans lead
the league in domestic violence.

- Ah, there it is.
STUDENT: Oh, sh*t.

BLAKE [echoing]: Oh, you wanna
put on a sombrero and take a nap?

Cómo se dice chicken sh*t?

[students laughing]

- You know what?
f*ck you, Blake.

You know, I'm glad that your
sister got into that car accident.

I'm glad that she broke
both of those legs

and I wish that she
would've had a third leg

so she could have
broken a third one.

[students gasping]

STUDENT: sh*t's f*cked up.

[students jeering]
- What the f*ck, Bona Lisa?

[jeering continues] ♪
intense music playing ♪

♪ electronic music playing ♪

DAVID [on voicemail]: Yo, man, you
good? You disappeared pretty quick.

Are you still coming by
to finish this study prep?

[phone beeps]

♪ drum tattooing ♪

[crow cawing]

[dogs barking]

- Man.

- I need you to help
me get into a fight.

- Hmm.

Okay.

- Okay.

[door creaks]

[woman screaming on TV]

[axe falls]

[body part rattles on floor]

[man laughing maniacally]

[screaming continues]

[chainsaw revving]

[body hits floor]

- I just, uh...

That's where all the
trash goes, right?

Right there on the floor.

[hammer pounding metal]

[chainsaw buzzing]
- Oh, hey, I'm Miguel, nice to meet you.

Okay. [screaming stops]

[TV remote beeps]

- You wanna learn how to
fight? Ask your daddy.

- No. Not precisely. No. I...

I need to get into a fight.

- So fight someone.

- I can't.

Or I mean, there's... there's just
rules that make it hard for me to do so.

For example, I can't
throw the first punch.

I gotta get the other
person to do it.

And I-I... I'm a good
person, man. I'm Miguel.

- What the f*ck are
you talking about?

Cass can explain it better. She's
cool. You... You'll meet her one day.

- Oh. Hurry up.
- Okay, let's... let's pretend

it was literally impossible for
me to throw the first punch.

And I know that that sounds
dumb, but let's just...

Let's say that's the scenario, but
I still wanna get into a fight.

So if that was the case, what...
What would you tell me to do?

- That's easy, make someone
mad enough to punch you.

- Right. Yes. So
how do I do that?

- Call him a p*ssy. Tell him
to suck your d*ck. Get loud.

Get in his face. sh*t like that.

- Nah. I don't
consent to that, man.

I don't wanna tell
anyone to suck my d*ck.

I think that's just like a problematic
thing to say, and I'm much more of a...

It's just... it's not me.

- I don't care. So just
stick to calling him a p*ssy.

Although I find it curious that
you don't think that's problematic.

- I tried that sh*t-talking thing
and it just... it didn't work out.

The guy started crying and the girl
was in the wheelchair and it...

- You, you, uh... you talked
sh*t to a girl in a wheelchair?

- She's just in the wheelchair
temporarily, not permanently.

Her legs are just... they're
broken. They're not missing, man.

- Just to circle back,
you're a good person?

- Yeah.
- Huh.

Let me, um,

let me run something by you
and maybe this will help.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Maybe you're a bad person.

- Dude.
- Just listen.

All the stuff you just
said, bad person stuff.

I mean, even the thing
about not swinging first.

You might not throw
the first punch,

but you're still forcing that person
into a situation which is just as bad.

And if that's the case,

if you're a bad person, then
who cares about the rules?

If you want to fight, fight.

♪ Dramatic music rising ♪

ALBERTO: Cheers, fellas.
BOXERS: Cheers, Coach!

[indistinct chatter]
♪ soft music playing ♪

- What? No, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

- Hey.
- Dad. What is going on here?

- The fellas are throwing
me a little goodbye party.

Where you been? I've
been calling your phone.

You haven't been answering.

- I was at Armando's.
- What were you doing there?

- Well, we were talking about
how to get into a fight.

- Get into a fight?

What the hell is
going on, Miguel?

- What's going on?

- Yeah.
- Well, let's see. I'm moving.

My parents gave me no warning.

Not even a "Hey, Miguel, just a heads
up, your whole life might get uprooted."

My dad thinks that I'm a coward.

- Hold on a second.
- No, Dad. It's true.

[phone buzzing]

- Oh, my God. Okay.

I gotta go because they're about to
get here, and they cannot see this.

- Miguel.

- f*cking balloons.

f*cking, I can't
f*cking... f*ck.

Hey.
- Hey, man.

- Were those balloons?
- Yo, chill.

Let's go around the back 'cause my
dad and I are just fighting right now.

- Lot of that going
on with you, it seems.

- Somehow also none of
it going on with you.

- But don't worry, I know
who you're gonna fight.

f*cking b*tch.

- No. I am not
gonna fight a girl.

- Okay. Claudia Dominguez
is taller than you.

Claudia Dominguez is faster than you.
Claudia Dominguez is stronger than you.

So physically she has
the advantage on you,

but she's also a f*cking thief,
and you're gonna fight her.

[Claudia yelling indistinctly]
CASS: Give me my phone!

It was just on the table, now
it's not on the table anymore?

[door slams] [bell dings]

- Mm-mm. I'm not doing it.
- Okay.

- Okay? We're done
talking about this.

What about me says that I would
ever do something like that?

- Well, I just wanna point out,

three hours ago you made fun of a
girl with shattered legs to her face.

So I mean that part.

- No, I... First of all,
I didn't see her, okay?

She was below eye line.
She was at wheel height.

- That doesn't make it better.
That might make it worse.

- You know what? It's
actually a little sexist

that you won't even consider
the idea of fighting Claudia.

SRINI: Mm-hmm.

CASS: Look, she's gonna throw
the first punch for sure.

And you won't get in trouble
because you'll be defending yourself

and you'll have three witnesses
to testify in that fact.

This is our green light.

It's a matter of honor.

Please be the half Mexican,
half Puerto Rican samurai

that I know you are.

What other choice do you have?

- f*ck.
- Right.

- Let's go.
- f*ck her.

- You're gonna get your phone back too.
- I'm gettin' my phone back. b*tch.

SRINI: Yee-haw!

CASS: Now, just close your
eyes and f*ck that b*tch up.

♪ Jazz horn playing Latin riff ♪

[blades whooshing]

[hawk screeches]

[roaring]

- Miguel!

- Bro! Why are you dressed like
that? We're doing Crouching Tigre.

- You bailed on me, man.

♪ Battle drums beating ♪

[shrieking] [Miguel screaming]

[Cass and Srini chatting]
- Oh, my God.

[line ringing]

DAVID [on voicemail]: Hey,
it's David. Leave a message.

[beeps]
- Hey, bro. I... [clicks tongue]

I completely... I
forgot, I'm sorry.

[phone buzzes]

[bell dings]

♪ suspenseful music playing ♪

TEACHER: Michael Carrera.
- Present.

TEACHER: Oscar Diaz.
- Here.

TEACHER: Claudia Dominguez.

Claudia Dominguez?

That girl's never
gonna come to school.

Estefany Fernandez.
- Here.

- Just fight Estefany, bro.

- Bro, you were really
gonna fight Claudia?

- You should have picked someone
with a better attendance record.

- Look, I know I've said this every time,
but I'm so glad this one didn't happen

for different reasons,
but obvious reasons.

- Yeah, me too actually.
- What are you...

How about let's meet
at The Cave tonight?

Pick someone else.
- Yo, dude. What?

The test is tomorrow, and we still
haven't gone through the prep guide.

- Bro, it's a practice test.
It doesn't even matter.

- It does to me.

Look, if you don't
want to help, fine,

but don't start shittin' on it
'cause you're having a bad week.

- Fine. Fine. f*ck it.

How about this? Let's pick
someone else right now. Okay?

Him. CASS: John?

MIGUEL: Yeah.
John. [bell dings]

SRINI: John's like the
nicest guy on earth.

He has a "Live, Laugh, Love"
sign hanging in his locker.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, well, he's alive and I'm mad,

so that's who I'm gonna
fight. I'm gonna f*ck him up.

SRINI: Well, he's bicycling
peacefully away, so I guess tomorrow.

♪ Discordant music playing ♪

ONE PUNCH MIGUEL [gruff
voice]: Pain for everyone. Ha!

One Punch Migueeeel!

[maniacal laugh]

SRINI: Oh, my
God. [Cass gasps]

ONE PUNCH MIGUEL: Cass and
Srini, I have something for you.

[metallic clang]

[Cass and Srini gasp]
ONE PUNCH MIGUEL: Pain!

[maniacal laugh] [Cass
and Srini screaming]

- Miguel!

[roaring]

[thuds]

ONE PUNCH MIGUEL: Nice try, David.
But it's a little more like this!

[David groaning]

LYDIA: Put it next to
Sophia's stuff in the truck.

[David sighs]

- Oh, my God.

Look at all this stuff.
ALBERTO: Yeah. [chuckles]

Maybe we should have done that
before we decided to move.

LYDIA: Yeah. Sorry, take this one and,
and I think we're gonna have the truck...

[indistinct chatter]

♪ somber R&B music playing ♪

TEACHER: This is
a practice test,

but it is of the utmost importance
in order to move forward.

So, the test starts now.

[teacher speaking indistinctly]

MRS. RODRIGUEZ: Good job.

Mr. Perez.

Mr. Perez?

Oh, hey, good to have you back.

Would you like to
keep reading with us?

- Yeah, sure. Uh... chapter one.

- That's the wrong page, Miguel.

STUDENT: Uh-uh. Don't look
at this. Back up. Ugh!

- All right, chapter four.

- Also the wrong page.

- Okay, what...
what page are we on?

- Well, you would know that if
you were actually paying attention

and reading along
with the class.

- Yeah, of course, but as we
both know, that wasn't happening.

So can we just leave me
the hell alone about it?

[students murmuring]

- You were in the clear before
you ran your mouth and said that.

Should I email your
mom and dad about this?

Or perhaps you and I should further
discuss this at lunch detention?

- I do not wanna sit here

and watch you eat another sad
tuna sandwich or whatever.

- Wow. Today and
Monday, lunch detention.

- No, no, no. Today? No, not
today. Please. I can't today.

- You can't?

Okay, I understand.
Doesn't work for you?

Then it's definitely
gonna be today.

[bell rings]

[indistinct chatter]

- The sandwich stinks
today, by the way.

[sighs] Dime. Yes, Miguel.

- Can I please go
to the bathroom?

- Definitely no.

[phone buzzes]

- Hi.
- Ah! You're like a cat.

- What's going on
with you, Miguel?

You're one of my best students,

not the typical ones that
make me wanna quit teaching.

[speaks Spanish] Huh?

[bell rings]

[indistinct chatter]

♪ suspenseful music playing ♪

MIGUEL: Where are you,
Johnny Dork? f*ck!

♪ Ominous sting ♪

- Watch where you're
going, m*therf*cker.

- Get outta my way, man!

STUDENTS: Ohh!

- What the f*ck you say to me?

- I said, you move,
you big, dumb f*ck!

[students laughing, reacting]

- [distorted voice]
f*ck you, man.

♪

[knuckles cracking]

[mouthing]

♪

[inaudibly speaking]

[students gasp in slow-motion]

♪

- Dude, you are so lucky
Mrs. Rodriguez likes you.

They ended up blaming the
whole thing on Damien, so...

Should we recap some of the
stuff that's happened this week?

- Bro, can we please not?

- You pissed off the oldest man
in America in a grocery store.

CASS: Mm-hmm.
- You unintentionally made friends with a guy you wanted to fight.

- Mm-hmm.
- You got punched in the face by Cass.

- Sorry.
- You made fun of a girl in a wheelchair,

and you tried to
fight Damien Delgado,

but it ended with you accidentally
punching your English teacher in the boob.

Do I have that right?
- Yeah. Good thing the week's over.

Who knows what you would've
did if you had another day?

You might have hit a nun with a brick.
Threw a baby in a lake. [laughs]

I can't believe you
swung on Damien Delgado.

- Man, I don't know. Okay?

Armando was in my head.

- Armando?

- Yeah. Am I a bad person? He
said that I was, and I just...

- Wait, bro, you talked
to Armando? When?

- After the Blake thing.

What you guys were telling me
wasn't helping me get into a fight,

so I figured he'd know
something that y'all didn't.

- And you don't think
that's a little f*cked up?

Whatever, man, it
doesn't matter.

I'm just glad this sh*t is
over. It was stupid anyways.

- What?

- I'm just saying, like, I'm glad it
didn't happen because that's not you, bro.

You're Miguel, man.

- Yo, what the f*ck?

You see me hurting, you
know that I'm hurting.

And now is when you choose to do one
of your David-knows-better lessons?

- Dude, I've been so supportive of
this dumb sh*t since it started.

- No, you haven't.
- Yes, I have.

Even though I thought
this sh*t was stupid.

Even though you bailed on
me with the test prep stuff.

Even though we all saw that this
was getting worse and worse.

I've been here with you every time,
watching you not fight someone, man.

- f*ck you, man.
- Whoa! Hey, hey!

- Don't push me, Miguel.
- I asked you for one thing. One!

- So did I. And because you couldn't
be a friend for a f*cking week,

I probably failed
the f*cking test.

A whole week wasted
on this. Why?

Because you've got some
sh*t going on with your dad,

or you're suddenly mad about
something from years ago.

You don't even know.
- Bro, f*ck that.

It doesn't have to
do with any of that.

And don't you say sh*t about
my dad. You don't know a thing.

- I know you're a f*cking
b*tch. How about that?

Your dad probably thinks
you're a b*tch too.

- Oh, yeah? Well, let's go ask
your dad what he thinks about you.

[heavy breaths]

- f*ck you. Man, f*ck you!

Tell 'em that you're
moving. Tell 'em!

- What?
- I know that you're f*cking moving.

I saw the boxes in the truck and
your dad, and I f*cking saw it.

[dog barking]

- You're moving?
- Yes.

Yes. I'm moving.
Okay? In two days.

My parents just told me last week,
and now you could go f*ck off.

I probably would never see
any of you again anyway.

- You knew you were moving and spent
this whole week trying to fight?

- David, say something.

- No, man, f*ck that guy.

♪ Solemn music playing ♪

[knock on door]

- Dad?

- [sighs] You know we're
moving in two days, right?

You should probably start
putting stuff into these boxes,

'cause you know
that's how boxes work.

You have to put stuff in them.

[sighs]

I assume you told the crew
we were moving by now.

- Yeah.

But it doesn't matter.

Probably not gonna be
friends anymore anyway.

I said some real foul
stuff to David and

everything just feels
like mud right now.

- You know you can still be
friends after we move, right?

What'd you say to David?

- Dad, why are you always
asking about David?

Ask about me. I'm your son.

I'm sorry that I'm not
what you want me to be.

I tried this whole week and all it did
was just make things more terrible.

- What do you mean you tried?

- Remember last weekend when
Srini got into that fight?

I didn't jump in. Everyone
else did and I didn't.

So they started making
fun of me about it.

And then I come back home, and
you tell me that we're moving

and that I'm too much of a coward
to live in this neighborhood. So...

- That's not what I said.
- Dad, you kind of did.

"Hey, Miguel, we're gonna
move to a nicer neighborhood.

You're gonna be much
more comfortable."

- That's not what I meant.
- I just...

I thought that maybe
if I get into a fight,

it'd make you wanna stay here,

that we wouldn't have to move and my
friends would respect me because...

I don't... I'm just... Oh, my...

I'm saying it out loud right now
and it just sounds really dumb.

But it made sense to me.

- Listen to me, Miguel.

We're moving to a nicer
neighborhood. Yes.

But we're moving because
it's a nicer neighborhood.

Has nothing to do with you.

At least not in the way
that you're thinking.

When you're a parent, you owe a
responsibility to your children.

You wanna make things better
for them than they were for you.

That's what that's about.

[sighs]

That's what I meant.

Your mom with this job,

she has an opportunity
to provide that for us.

- I know that she always
wanted me to be just like you.

To be in the gym,
but it's just not me.

And I know that David and
his dad had it, but we don't.

- I love that you like
your own thing, son.

I love that you're
your own person.

Maybe you don't see it now, but one day
you're gonna realize that you're that way

because you grew up in a house
with two parents who love you.

David lost one of his parents.

I know he carries that
weight. I see it in him.

You guys have been friends
since you were five years old.

It's a lot of years
of friendship.

I know it's not gonna be easy
to leave your friends behind.

I know.

But you're gonna be okay, son.

I promise you.

Promise.

♪ Contemplative
electronic music playing ♪

[laughs]

- Hey, what's up, Cass?

Can you do me a favor?

CASS: Hey. Big Jay's come outside.
Look at you, you're like the NBA.

DAVID: Yo, yo. CASS: Hey.

- What's going on, y'all?
- Not much.

Um, uh, but also,
uh, a, a little.

- Hey, bro.

- Nah, man. What the f*ck?
- No. I know, man. But...

- I would not have come

if I knew his a*s was gonna be here.
- I wanted to...

- Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Okay. You can't leave like that.

Y'all gotta make this right.
Y'all owe it to each other.

- Nah, f*ck that.
You owe it to us.

Y'all aren't the only
two in this friendship.

You don't get to ruin
it for everybody.

There are four parts to
this. Four, not two, four.

The leader, the really nice
one, the really hot one.

My crush.

- I'm sorry?
- What?

- What?
- Clearly I like...

- Back up.
- I'm into you, Cass. It's so...

- That was not clearly...
- What? You haven't seen the signs?

- Hey, look who it is.
Indian Curry's back!

- This f*cking guy again.
SAUL [laughing]: Indian Curry.

SRINI: Hey, where's the wagon you use
to carry around the bottom of your face?

- Surprised you showed back up after
I put you in the dirt last week.

Oh, what's that thing about Indian
religions believing in reincarnation?

[laughing]
- I guess that's true.

- f*ck off, dude.

- Relax, Mike Tyson.
I'm not talking to you.

- That's not even an insult.
- Bro, take that bullshit somewhere else.

- This is where I took it.
I took it right here...

♪ Horn blowing fanfare ♪

[deep growl]

♪ dramatic drums beating ♪

♪ horn fanfare continues ♪

[crunches]

♪ music fades into
thunderous roar ♪

[deep bass roaring]

[shouting]

CASS: It wasn't that bad,
right? SRINI: No, no, it's fine.

- No, they suck.

- They've been assholes
since, like, day one.

- I know.
- You know what I mean?

- Oh, this looks bad
though. Does it hurt?

- No, it's fine. No.
It's good, it's good.

CASS: Makes you look tough.
SRINI: And that's tough to do.

[Srini and Cass laughing]

- Well?

- Well what?

- Well, how did you like
it, bro? Your first fight?

- Bro, it f*cking sucked.

[both laughing]

- Yeah.
- Horrible.

- I saw you got a clean
one in there though.

- Mm-hmm.
- Saved me.

- Listen, I, uh...

What I said to you was...

I didn't mean it.

I just...

- Miguel, I know.

Me too.

So, uh, you're, like,
really moving then?

- Tomorrow, bro.

- I'm gonna miss you, bro.

Like for real.

- I'm gonna miss you too, bro.

- You know... You gotta be gentle!
- Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

- Be gentle, gentle,
gentle, gentle.

- You m*therf*ckers acting like he's
being sent off to w*r or something.

He's just going to Albany.
It's like two hours away.

- You know how far that is?
- It's not that bad.

SRINI: It's not that far.
Let's get out of here.

MIGUEL: Can we watch
a movie tonight?

SRINI: Bah! MIGUEL: What?

SRINI: Larry Turd. CASS: What?

SRINI: Larry Turd. That's
what I could have called him.

[David and Miguel groaning]
SRINI: That's a good one.

MIGUEL: No, wait, hold on, hold on.
You should have said Donovan Bitchell.

Plays for the Utah Jizz.

[all laughing]

DAVID: Yes. CASS: Wait,
wait, wait. Draymond Pee.

DAVID: Yeah. Oh, change
it up. [Cass laughs]

[indistinct chatter continues]

♪ Agua by PJ Sin Suela
and Bebo Dumont playing ♪

♪ singing in Spanish ♪

♪ song ends ♪