03x02 - Sell Outs

[bunniefuu]

- [Sam] Get ready for a Game Changer.

Tonight's guests doing a hand duck.

It's Mike Trapp.

Doing a hand duck it's Grant O'Brien,

and doing a hand duck it's Rekha Shankar.

And your host me I've
been here the whole time.

This is Game Changer.

The only game show where
the game changes every show.

I am your host, Sam Reich.

I am joined today by these
three lovely contestants.

You all understand how the game works?

- Yes.

- Yes we do Sam,

as a matter of fact,
- [Mike] Yes.

- because it's a Game Samer.

[upbeat music]

Because in a game called Game Changer.

What's more of a game changer
than the game being the same

Trapp, are you ready?

- Yes.

- You have

until I cut you off

to sell me a trip to Boca Raton, Florida.

- Fantastic.

Now, Sam, where are you from?

[laughter]

- You, you have any idea how much grief

this joke has caused me?

[laughing]
- No

- Do you have any idea

how many times I am tweeted this per day?

- No, because you won't tell us.

- [Trapp] Sam
- I mean,

the question stands Sam.

- and Sam given the amount
of grief that you've

gotten from that wouldn't
you like to get away?

Wouldn't you like for a moment?

Pretend like you've never
even left Boca Raton, Florida?

Like you were born and raised there?

You know nothing about
Cambridge, Massachusetts,

you know nothing about Crumbly
Square theater and with the

trip to Boca Raton, Florida,

right now, you can live the life.

You've always dreamed of.

- A trip to Boca Raton, Florida

would allow me to forget
my past, to start anew?

- I mean isn't a vacation,

just a chance to pretend like
you live a life that you don't

normally live in your day to day?

- Doesn't Boca Raton mean

rat mouth

- You have to cite that source

cause they can't possibly be true.

- Because Boca means mouth,

and Raton is like a rat or a mouse.

- I'll give you a point for that.

If only because it's given me
something new to respond to

people with.

Mr. O'Brien.

- Mr. Reich.

- Love having you on the show.

- I love being on the show.

Hey, of the three of us,

would you say that I'm your favorite?

- Grant you have until I

cut you off to sell me a theme park

that's just lines.

- Sam,

first of all, where are you from?

[laughing]

- I'm so tempted to say
Boca Raton, Florida.

I am from Cambridge,

Massachusetts home of the no sports team,

- but very close to
Six Flags, New England,

one of the many parks
in the Six Flags chain.

Now I won't lie to you, Sam.

I'm something of a theme park expert.

Isn't it great fun to be in
line for one of America's

greatest,

roller coasters and watching
a video on the history of that

rollercoaster while you're in line?

Sam,
[Sam laughing]

there's history

about all of these works of
art really is how I think about

roller coasters.
- [Sam] Yeah.

- What's your favorite roller coaster?

I'll tell you a little
bit about the history,

- The Anaconda.

- Now, so the Anaconda is a very,

is a very interesting example.

The Anaconda is one of
Aerodynamics rollercoasters and in

the 80s,

Aerodynamics was probably the
premier manufacturer in the

United States because of just frankly,

when they started building,

they weren't designing
with a computerated design,

they were designing things by hand.

Don't interrupt Trapp.

I see you want to jump in here.

- I have a question.

I have a question.

Is it typically a good sales tactic

to bore someone to death?

[laughing]

- Is that what you want?

[laughing]

- You know what though,

Trapp I think Grant this
was personal enough to you

And there was a glimmering moment there

where you inspired me

to learn more about roller coasters.

- Now, is it true that that the Anaconda

don't want none,

unless you've got buns hun?

- She could do side bends or sit ups,

but please don't lose that butt.

- Sure, yeah.

How many side bends are in there?

- k*ll me.
[laughter]

- I'm gonna give you two points.

Given just how personal and
informed that response was.

Rekha, you have until I cut
you off to sell me passive

aggression certification class.

- Sam, where are you from?

And are you tired of explaining it?

[Laughing]

Here's what I learned in this class.

- [Sam] Sure

- One of the advanced techniques
you learn is you start to

type something.

So they see an ellipsis,
but then you stop.

You just look so frustrated.

If you want to just go
like beginner level,

you could do like a little
like sigh, you know?

- Sigh is great.

- And your final exam,

you just get to ignore
everyone you don't like.

And isn't that nice?

- You know,

just like Grant made this
prompt personal to him,

you've made this personal to me.

Two points for you, Rekha

- [Grant] Yeah, good job Rekha.

- Maybe somebody who had

a little more integrity would give me

a three, maybe, I don't know.

- That is so passive aggressive.

I will give you the three points.

- I am outraged.

This is a f*cking outrage-
- [Rekha] Woa woa wao.

- Mr. Trapp, you have,

until I cut you off to sell
me a used condiment from your

fridge specifically.

- Very good.

- A used condom from his fridge?

[laughing]

Ewwww.

- It'd be so dry and crumbly
just like Crumbly Square.

[laughing]

- Oh, he's back.

- Sam I have here lovingly
made preserved lemons,

[Rekha gasping]

Now these,

these are preserved lemons
that you can use for making a

Tagine,

and you are just a few steps
away from a delicious lemon

Parmesan perhaps one of the
greatest dishes ever created.

As we proved last time I speak
a number of questions from

peanut gallery.

- Can you take a bite?

[laughter]

- Maybe, if I can open this.

It's been in my fridge a long time.

[laughter]

[awwing and oooing]

- It's salty.

It's lemony its designed to be
mixed in with other foods and

not eaten on its own.

- Would you take a much,
much, much bigger bite?

[laughter]

- Maybe a slurp?

- Here's that, maybe?

- [Grant] Oh, that's slimy.

That's a weird sheen.

- It's kind of like having a
lemonade, but instead of sugar,

you put salt in it.

[laughter]

- True story.

I did drop off lemon marmalade
- That's what I thought

that was.

- That's what I thought that was too.

I thought he was bringing
my gift onto the show.

Trapp,

I will give you two points
for the call back to lemon

parmesan.

Grant, you have till I cut you off

to sell me a bounce on daddy's knee.

- We've known each other
for a little while now Sam.

Where do you imagine
I'm going to take this?

- Oh,

you have to know Grant that
I craft these episodes very

lovingly
- [Grant] Sure

- with my cast members in mind
- [Grant] Sure

Okay, well,

I'm going to start by pointing
something out the photograph

of the gentlemen in the
suit where it cuts off.

Sam, looks a lot like where
your picture cuts off of you.

- I was gonna say it looks

like
- [Grant] In that

turn the other way for us please.

- Oh, turn the other way.

- [Grant] The other way, ah huh.

- [Rekha] It's daddy.

- [Grant] Daddy. I had a tough day today.

Right?

Can I sit down for just a
minute right in your lap, daddy?

- I'm suddenly painfully aware
of how we don't have an HR

department anymore.

- Daddy, daddy,

can I sit down on your lap?

Just for a moment, please please?

[groaning]

Oh it's so warm in your seat here daddy.

So good.

I'm just going to bounce for a sec.

Just that rhythm makes me feel
so safe and comfortable here.

Daddy, what's that?

Daddy?

Mine's never done that before.

- [Sam] Oh my god, Grant.

- Mine's never done that?

Does that mean?

[laughter]

- That Grant has never had an erection?

- Grant that felt to me,

a little bit more like a
pornographic voiceover then

a commercial.

I'm afraid only one point.

Rehka, you have until I

cut you off to

sell me animal pun summer camp.

- Have you ever wanted to
go to a summer camp maybe in

Cambridge, Mass. or whatever?

I believe you'd have some
good 'tails' to tell.

[laughter]

You'd have a 'whale' of a time

and I'm not 'lion'

about that.
- What!

- I'm not trying to be a
'cheetah' here, but I got a say

I'm going to make a
'bull-beaver' out of you.

[laughter]

- Okay.

I will cut you off with
that dangerously good pun.

That's three points for you.

Players, it's time for
our first mini game.

The scores headed into
that mini game are Trapp

with three points, Grant
O'Brien with three,

Rekha with six.

Players,

I am still looking for the
perfect Game Changer logo.

So, I created a whole new batch of them.

I'm hoping you can help advise

me whether or not these are

problematic for any reason.

Players,

what do you think about this logo?

That is going to be Rekha first.

- Dammit.

- You can't use that, that Starbucks.

- You know what?

Now that I look at
- [Rehka] With you in

the middle.

- kind of like this yeah.

- [Rekha] Whooo
- [Trapp And Grant] Yeah.

- I'm seeing double.

- Players, What do you
think about this logo?

That is Trapp.

- Sam The problem here is that

that is the GameCube logo.

- No,

- Damn,

- Trapp, I don't believe it
is, Rekha, your number two.

- Is it, is it because it's the

Nintendo 64 logo?

- It is the Nintendo 64 logo.

Well done.

Grant-
- [Rekha] Eat my a*s.

- I did know it f*cking bullshit.

This is all f*cking bullshit

- Players,

what do you think about this logo?

- Sam,

that is the Hot Wheels logo.

That's the Hot Wheels leading the way.

- That is right.

This is too much like the Hot Wheels logo.

What do you think about this logo?

That is Mike Trapp again.

- Grant, I'm sorry.

- [Grant] I'd like to know, tell me.

- That is the Bic logo for Bic pens.

- Let's just take a moment to appreciate

the little me with the

microphone behind me and the mustache.

What do you think about this logo?

That is Grant.

- [Rekha] What?
- Son of a b*tch.

- Okay, I'm going to,

I think I have this, that's
too similar to the TiVo logo.

- It is!

- Yes stupid b*tch!

- It is too similar to the TiVo logo.

- Damn her.

- Players, what do you
think about this logo?

That is Trapp again.

- What the f*ck?

- That's far too similar to the KFC logo.

You are no Colonel Sanders.

You are Sam Reich.

- This is too similar to the KFC logo.

What do you think about this logo?

That's trap.

- I'm going to say that this is Chanel.

[laughter]

- Good guess Trapp,

it is not Chanel.

Next on the list is Grant.

- That's Gucci, baby.

- It is Gucci.

What do you think about this logo?

Mike Trapp.

- That's too close to the Intel logo.

- It is too close to the Intel logo.

What do you think about this logo?

Rekha.

- You can't use this,

because this is the London
underground, like the tube.

- It is the London underground.

Well done Rekha.

What do you think about this logo?

Ooh, Grant.

- No!

- Sam, you can't use that.

That's too close to the Ikea logo.

- It is too close to the Ikea logo.

That's impressive, Grant, really

impressive.
- [Grant] I'm an

impressive man.

I have lots of things that
are going well for me.

- No you don't.

[laughter]

- And nothing's more impressive
than someone intimately

knowing the Ikea logo.

- You can tell exactly like

how great my life is going where it's

like, I don't recognize Gucci
or anything outside another

country, but I know KFC and Ikea.

[laughter]

- What do you think about this logo?

Trapp.

- I'm going to say the Heineken logo.

- It is not too close
to the Heineken logo.

Next up is Grant.

- I think it's too close
to the Miller logo.

- No, Rekha.

- I was going to guess Medieval Times.

- That is a really good guess Rekha,

but it is not Medieval Times.

Okay, I'll tell ya.

This is Firestone.
- Firestone?

- [Grant] Firestone
- Oh my god, f*ck me.

- Ah players, what do you
think about this logo?

Mr. Trap?

- That's too close to the
Fruit of the Looms logo.

- It is too
- [Grant] The grapes are

your beard, that's very cute.

[laughter]

- Moving on to round three.

The points as we do Mike
Trapp with eight points,

Grant O'Brien with six,

Rekha with nine.

Players, forget the world
of print advertising.

Let's leave that behind
because you are performers.

I want you to channel your
best commercial voiceover,

where I am going to play
a series of stock videos.

And you are going to tell me
what they are supposed to be

advertising.

- [Rekha] Gotcha.
- Okay.

- [Sam] Mr. Trapp.

- [Trapp] If you're like most Americans,

you're from Cambridge,

Massachusetts,

and you love raising your
child there by the beautiful

Massachusetts sea.

Here, your baby,

a baby that will grow and
wear those same stripes to be

something that he could be
something bigger than himself.

If you want to raise game show hosts,

you will have to buy game show host hats.

Game show host hats,

the only hat that protects your head

from the cold biting wind

that will freeze your brain.

Game show host hats.

- This video is tragic.

It looks like she's
about to throw the baby

in the ocean.

- That baby was born at prom

and she is unsure of what to do.

[laughter]

- I will give you a point for that Trapp.

Mr. O'Brien, you ready?

- I couldn't be more ready if I tried.

- [Grant] Hi, I'm-

[laughter]

John Michaelson.

I'm Mrs. Michaelson you can call me Betty,

but I like to go by Mrs. Michaelson

because I'm my husband's wife.

Oooh I gotta pull these
pants right up into myself.

I've better really hug'em
straight up in there.

[laugher]

Well, Betty, I'll tell you
something about my phone.

I got a picture of you right here.

Pulling those pants up.

Hi.

Look at yourself in that picture.

Hey.

Hey, get in these arms.

Betty I love ya.

I love ya.

Yeah, fall asleep right there.

Anyway, I'm going to
throw you into the ocean.

[laughter]

- You went for the play by play
dub instead of a voice over.

- I was like he's playing
the Whose Line game

- What on earth were you advertising?

- [Grant] Aerodynamics roller coasters.

- If I were to give you another go at it,

could you do a commercial
voiceover for something?

- Yes.

Hi, I'm John Michaelson.

And I love Dove Soap.

And I'm Mrs. Michaelson.

[laughter]

I also love Dove Soap.

[laughter]

I love it, I love it.

I'm glad I lost your
Dove Soap earlier today.

Hey, hey, look at this.

There's a picture of
Dove Soap on the phone.

Oh, look at it, it's so good.

Oh, look how clean our
hands are from Dove Soap.

Yeah, get in there and smell me.

Aerodynamics roller coasters.

[laughter]

- Wow, zero points.

- [Grant] This is an outrage.

That would have been a
fantastic commercial.

- Oh my god.

- You didn't change your strategy at all.

- Oh my god I wanna piss myself.

- Rekha, can you pull
us out of this sinkhole?

- These Buffalo are dying.

They can't find water.

They can't find food.

And do you know why? Organizations
like the World Wildlife

Foundation don't receive
the funding they need.

So little deer like Charlie
here don't have a home.

These deer haven't eaten for days.

This fluffy cow is on its last legs.

You see it can't stand anymore.

So please with your donation to the World

Wildlife Federation,

a lamb like this clearly
tired could finally get the

nourishment it needs before Charlie has

to k*ll himself in the ravine.

- Really well done.

I like that a lot.

Three points for you.

- I think it makes you
want to donate, right?

- Why couldn't I hear what any

of those animals were saying to

each other in your commercials.

- Oh sorry, sorry.

The one shot was muted.

Here's what they're saying.

"I'm Eric Jacobsen"

- "And I'm dead, I'm on my last legs."

"Please donate to the
World Wildlife Fund."

- "And remember to buy Dove Soap."

- Trapp you ready?

- Yes.

Power, independence, strength,

none of these have anything to do

with Buick dashboards.

[laughter]

The dashboards that uplight your face

when you're sad in the rain.

If you need to lean into a
mood as your girlfriend just

left you, have you lost a job.

Are you struggling under the
constant news of a worldwide

pandemic?

Then Buick uplit dashboards
will give you a sad

mood you need

to get through the day.

Buick uplit dashboards,

cry me a river.

- Wow.

- Oooh, Trapp.

Succinct,

bringing it all together
at the end with a tagline,

three points for you.

Grant, you have an opportunity

to turn this all around here and

now.

[upbeat music]

- [Grant] I'm driving.

I like it.

Oooh it's an alien.

Oooh wow.

I wonder what they are
going to have for me.

Is it Dove Soap?

If aliens don't have
hands how do they wash?

Well I better go up there and find out.

Hey, here I go.

Ooooohhh wow.

[laughter]

- Appreciate the commitment
to the bit. Grant,

no points for you.

Rekha,

last one.

- [Rekha] Are you tired of filthy tubs,

When you're trying to relax?

Just anything to get your
mind off a filthy tub?

Music, anything?

Subscribe to Spotify premium.

You can take your mind off
the filthiest aspects of your

house.

If you can't elevate
your living situation,

why not elevate your oral situation?

Listen to your favorite 90s
playlist while you soak in a

pile of your own filth,

[laughter]

discover new world music.

As you bathe in water
that looks like blood

Spotify Premium

on sale today.

- Rekha, well done.

I imagine that Spotify will
be very grateful for the free

branded content.

I'm going to say two points
- Wow.

- for you.

- That's a horrifying
piece of stock video.

- Right?

Literally,

like so many clips from
this one sequence of woman

bathing in blood.

- That was blood, okay.

- It'd be a great
commercial for Dove Soap.

- I should have mad it for Dove Soap.

- Love the blood you're in.

- Players, it's time for our final round.

The points heading into
that round a Trapp with 12,

Grant with six,

Rekha with 14.

Players, I'm still looking
for the perfect tagline

for Game Changer.

I feel-

[audio cuts off]

- [Rekha] Sam you're muted.

- You're audio has cut off.

- Sorry. Can you hear me now?

- Yes.
- [Trapp] Yeah.

[buzzing]

- Rehka.

- Um, Verizon-
- [Grant] Oh sh*t.

- Yes you got it Rekha.

- God Dammit

- You f*cked, f*ck you.

- Video conferencing, it's
just the worst, you know, and,

and quarantine god,
it's driving me insane,

you know, sometimes you
just feel like a nut.

[buzzing]

Grant.

- Almond Joy and Mounds.

- You can't say two answers.

- But I believe it is,

it's Almond Joy and Mounds.

It's the same commercial.

- You know, how,

how is quarantine so difficult?

How is social distancing so difficult?

Like all we're doing is
staying home, eating food,

watching TV, reading, all the news

that's fit to print.

[buzzing]

- [Trapp] f*ck

- You're using the tagline
of the paper record

at the New York Times.

- It is New York Times.

I mean social distancing, right?

It's so easy.

Rekha.

- Staples?

- Nope.

Trapp?

So easy a caveman can do it.

- Yes, you got it Trapp!

[laughter]

- Why are you so stupid?

- I think that it's just
like this, this thing,

it just keeps going and going.

[buzzing]

Rekha.

- [Trapp] Dammit how?

- Energizer Battery.

You can't use that it's Energizer.

- You can't use that Sam,

it's too easy Sam.
- [Rekha] Sam.

- [Grant] That'd be a bad idea.

- That's a point for Ranka.

It's worth saying, I mean, you know,

my version of quarantine
is a privileged one.

It's like,

you know, food, TV, a nice hot bath.

Yeah.

We've got that.

Grant.

- How?

- Staples.

- Staples is right.

But you know, numbing as this all is,

I can't believe that they're
opening stuff up again all

around us.

You know, it's like have it your way.

Trapp.

- No.

- [Grant] That's horse sh*t.

- Burger King.

- That is right.

But in Los Angeles where
these numbers continue to grow

every day,

they've given the green light
for Hollywood to return back

to work.

It's like, give me a break.

Rekha.

- Give me a break, give me a break,

break me off a piece of Kit
Kat bar, whatever you want,

whatever you need.

- Break me off a piece of that

- [Rekha and Trapp] Game Changer.

- The virus hasn't gone anywhere.

You, you,

you can't just like start going
to your favorite restaurant

or a bar or store.

The virus is everywhere.

It's everywhere you want to be.

Grant.

- American Express.

- It is not American Express.

- Trapp
- [Grant] sh*t.

- Visa.

- Visa is correct.

And sure.

I mean, you know, masks keep
us protected to an extent.

I mean, if I have to go
outside for any reason,

I wear my mask religiously.

I don't leave home without it.

Trapp.

- That's American Express

- That is American Express.

- I can't believe that just happened.

- This is stupid.

- That is so upsetting.

- But even masks aren't 100% effective.

And when it comes to like the
opening up of stuff around us,

it's our local government
we're talking about.

I mean, it really makes you
wonder, are you in good hands?

Grant.

- Allstate.

- Allstate is correct.

- [Rekha] f*ck you.

- Well done.

I think we have got it right.

You know, those of us who are
maintaining social distancing,

like we are helping to
prevent a second wave.

The few,

the proud,

Grant.

- the Marines.

- That is correct.

And that is our game.

- Sam can't help but notice
that in that last game,

you didn't include like one
of the most recognizable

taglines of all time, which is,

"Where are these Alien's hands?"

[Laughing]

- "What is that?"

"I hope it's Dove Soap."

[laughing]

- [Grant] We all do, we all hope for that.

- I hope it's Dove Soap
is actually a really funny

tagline.

[laughter]

- The points at the end
of our game Trapp with 16,

Grant with 11,

Rekha with 17,

edging out the competition
by a single point.

- Thank you.

- Rekha,

your prize is once you feel
comfortable doing so a glamping

experience at Yellowstone national park.

- I will take someone with a car.

- I hope you enjoy.

- This is outrageous.

- That is it for us here at Game Changer.

I am a hundred percent Sam
Reich with no artificial

ingredients.

Good night.