03x06 - Napkins

[bunniefuu]

["Get Down On It" playing on alarm radio]

♪ Do you wanna get down? ♪

[alarm radio stops]

[sighs]

♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ Come on and ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ If you really want it ♪

- ♪ Get down on it ♪
- ♪ You gotta feel it ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

- ♪ Get down on it ♪
- ♪ Come on and ♪

- ♪ Get down on it ♪
- ♪ Baby, baby ♪

- ♪ Get down on it ♪
- ♪ Get on it ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ I say people ♪

- ♪ What? ♪
- ♪ What you gonna do? ♪

♪ You gotta get on the groove ♪

♪ If you want your body to move ♪

- ♪ Tell me, baby ♪
- ♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

- ♪ Get down on it ♪
- ♪ Get down on it ♪

- ♪ Get down on it ♪
- ♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ You move me, baby, when you move ♪

- ♪ Get down on it ♪
- ♪ Get down on it ♪

♪ Get down on it ♪

You anxious?

[scoffs] Never.

The good news is,
I think Dennis is gonna get moved up.

Soon.

And once he gets moved,
then I can move up, and--

Yeah. That's a lot of moving up
for $3 more an hour.

- It's going to be okay.
- Yeah, I-I know, baby.

I-I just think I spun a little bit
when I heard about the rent increase, so--

Baby,

it's going to be okay.

I don't wanna lose this place.

- [David] We won't.
- We can't.

You know,
Louie will have to transfer schools,

and he only just started making friends.

- He'd make new friends.
- [Tina scoffs]

Maybe.

He's kind of an as*h*le.

- Tina.
- I-I'm just saying. [laughs]

- [chortles]
- His track record is not good.

[chuckling]

It isn't good, is it?

No, it's bad.

[David] Do me a favor.

Don't panic yet.

You'll tell me when to panic?

I will most certainly tell you
when to panic.

- [Tina] Hey, mama.
- Hey.

- [speaking Spanish]
- [Tina] Good. How's the knee?

You know me. I never complain.

[Tina chortles]

- [coworker] Stop. [laughs]
- Tina.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure. Okay.

- [Tina] I'll talk to you later.
- All right. Mm-hmm.

Trust me. No one wanted it
to come to this,

but it's the reality
of the current climate.

Um, you've all been wonderful stewards
of the company,

and we thank you
for your years of service.

[muffled] Parting ways is never easy,

but I think you'll find with time that...

- [muffled] I love you.
- [muffled] I love you.

[David, muffled] How was work?

[muffled] Same old, same old.

Louie, dinner's ready.

Get your a*s in here!

You up?

[David] Mmm.

Can I tell you something?

Of course.

I lost my job.

What happened?

They cut everyone back.

[David] I'm so sorry, honey.

I'm gonna find another job tomorrow.

Everything will be okay.

[David shushes]

[kisses]

[Tina sighs]

["The Morning Fog" playing]

[speaking Japanese on TV]

[Tina] Louie, turn that sh*t off!

♪ Begin to breathe ♪

♪ Begin to speak ♪

♪ Do you know what? ♪

♪ I love you better now ♪

Hi.

Can I leave my résumé?

Um, you could just apply on LinkedIn.

It'll be easier.

[recruiter]
And what's amazing about this job

is there's literally no limit
to how much you can earn.

It all depends on you
and how hard you're willing to work.

Full disclosure,
I made $100,000 last year.

Now, you putting money in up front, but
that's just to get you started selling.

But that's your commitment to yourself,

and it's a promise that you're gonna give
this job everything you got.

Now, five years ago, my bus card expired.
I was walking down the street.

I came in here,
and that day my life changed.

[speaking Japanese on TV]

Louie, enough!

[Tina] Hi. Uh...

Can I leave my résumé?

We'll definitely keep it on file.

Okay.

Thank you.

[David] You know Diego's cousin
who has the moving company?

I guess they double-booked jobs
this weekend,

so they need another guy.

He said it would be 800 bucks,
maybe more if the family tip well.

How do you get two jobs
and I can't find one?

My lucky day, I guess.

[Tina] Do you think Diego's cousin
is handing out any more work?

Maybe something for a washed-up old lady.

A beautiful young woman.

♪ Do you know what? ♪

♪ I love you better now ♪

♪ I'm falling ♪

[employee] Hi.

Can I help you with anything?

Uh, no. Just if you're hiring?

Oh, we're not, unfortunately.

But let me know
if you wanna look at anything around here.

- Okay. Um, but can I leave my résumé?
- Oh, we're not hiring, but thanks.

- Yeah, let me know if you need help, okay?
- Okay.

♪ Do you know what? ♪

♪ I love you better now ♪

[David] What are you thinking about?

I sit on my a*s every day
not contributing sh*t, and it's, like--

Honey, it's been two weeks.

[Tina] I know, but I'm not this way.

I like working.

I like routine.

[David] I get it, baby. I do.

Yeah, but you get to go to work.

[David] Mm-hmm.

T, I'm a doorman.

I get to open doors for people.

Yeah, well, I don't get to open sh*t.

[Tina] Hey, mama.

Yeah, you still selling Avon?

Uh, are you still doing that para job
for the special ed?

No, I'm fine.

I-- I-I just wanted to know
if you were still watching those twins.

Okay, I worked at Filene's
right out of high school,

so I know department stores.

Oh, no. For sure.

Just let me know if you hear anything.

Just let me know if any shifts open up.

Let me know if anything opens.

♪ I'll tell my father ♪

♪ I'll tell my loved ones ♪

♪ I'll tell my brothers ♪

♪ How much I love them ♪

[hiring manager laughs]

So the role
is mostly processing time sheets

and approving everything for payroll.

Plus managing shift schedules,
that sort of thing.

Yeah, that's exactly what I did
at my last job, so it's perfect.

Amazing.

Let me grab some paperwork for you to
fill out, and we'll set up an interview.

- Do you have references on here?
- Mm-hmm.

Mmm. Do you have your BA?

Like from college?

I'm so sorry.

They're actually
really strict about that here.

I know it's super annoying,

but they always
try to promote from within,

so all the new hires have to have degrees
for, like, leadership potential.

But-- But I did this exact job,
like, for 15 years. [chuckles]

- No, for sure.
- So...

I'm sorry.

Maybe you could try night school?

Would definitely help with the job hunt.

Yeah, maybe.

Mmm. Thanks for coming in.

Mm-hmm.

[speaking Japanese on TV]

[Tina] Louie, what did I say
about those cartoons? Turn it down!

[speaking Japanese on TV continues]

[computer beeps, chimes]

[speaking Japanese on TV continues]

Oh, thank f*ck.

["Let It Whip" playing on alarm radio]

[alarm radio stops]

Thanks, baby.

I got a really good feeling
about this interview.

I know this is gonna be the one. I--

Breathe, mama.

[David exhales]

I know you're being sweet...

but I know we're in trouble,

and I really need this, you know?

Did I fail you?

No, baby. [chuckles]

No.

Remember when we were 20?

Yeah.

Was it scary like this?

Yeah.

Different scary, but, yeah.

- [David] Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

I never want you to worry, baby.

I know.

I know, baby.

Good luck.

Thank you.

[sighs]

Hi.

I'm here for the open interview hour.

That's canceled.

They hired someone yesterday.

Yeah, but I applied on LinkedIn.

- I got an email yesterday, so--
- Oh, yeah.

Uh, maybe, but there's no job.

Sorry.

[chuckles]

Are you sure... [stammers]

You sure-- Just--
Maybe you could check, please?

[receptionist] Yeah. I-I checked. Uh...

It-- There's no job. I'm-I'm sorry.

[typing]

Okay, um--

Well, then, uh,
you should take that post down.

Like, right away, you know?

People can get their hopes up.

[typing continues]

And it's like false advertising,
or whatever, you know?

Okay. I'll tell them.

Great.

Great.

And-And you know
what else you could tell them?

f*ck you.

Oh, wow.

f*ck.

f*ck.

[people chattering]

[Richie] All right!
What are we doing today, handsome?

[staff clamoring]

...hot and sweet, two fries and a Coca-Cola?

Yeah. I got you, I got you.

Hot and sweet. Fries and Coke.

- [Chi-Chi] Marty.
- Two sweet, no name.

[staff chattering, clamoring]

Miss. Hey, miss,
you cannot smoke in here anymore.

- [Richie] Yes, you.
- Marty's up!

- Marty--
- I got two sweet with no name.

Fries and a Coke.
Two hot and sweet, fries and a Coke.

- Yeah, that's 21.50.
- [Chuckie] Jasmine, your order's up!

- [Richie] Thank you. Yeah.
- You really think I'm handsome?

You're a perfect ten.

- All right, mamacita, what can I get you?
- Uh, just a cup of coffee.

- That's it?
- Just coffee.

- What do you want? Black? Dunkin' style?
- Black. Black.

Mark. Mark. Mark.

Mark the narc. Thank you, Mark, thank you.

- You got beard guy ready?
- Beard guy's coming right now.

Here you go. One black coffee.
That's on me.

- [Chuckie] Order for--
- [Chi-Chi] Marty!

- Order for beard guy.
- Thank you.

- [Richie] Marty! Marty!
- f*ck you. I'm giving your sh*t away.

[Chi-Chi] Here you go, my love.

- That's for you, young lady.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- [Richie] That's on us.

- What's this?
- That's an Italian beef sandwich.

What's an Italian beef? Um--

- Uh, you know what a French dip is?
- Yeah.

That's an Italian dip.

- [Tina] Okay.
- I hope you like it.

I'm Richie.

I'm Tina. Thank you, Richie.

Nice to meet you.

Enjoy.

[Richie]
All right. Yo, Nike Air, let's rock!

You waiting for a formal invitation?

[Richie] One more. Up.

There we go, Abraham.

[Richie] Oh, a number seven?

Number seven for this narc-looking
m*therf*cker over here.

[laughs] You want a number seven,
go to f*cking McDonald's, guy. All right?

Go. Yeah.

[Chi-Chi] What the f*ck is wrong with you?
Get the f*ck out of this place.

[Mikey] sh*t, dude. Okay.

You need to be in a power stance, bro.

You're never gonna clear this level
if you're not in a power stance.

[Neil] But I got the golden c*ck.

[Mikey] Yeah, the wizard's gonna
knock that sh*t off, dum-dum.

You gonna help with the napkins
or is that, like, what you're doing here?

- [Neil] Yeah, after I see the wizard?
- [Richie] Neil!

[Mikey mimicking Neil]
"Can I do it after I see the wizard?

I wanna do it after I see the wizard."

- [Richie] Yo, Neil.
- Yeah?

We got a full line here.
What are you doing?

- You f*cking around?
- [Neil] I'm about to see the wizard.

- [mimicking] "The wizard."
- [Richie] Word?

- [Neil] Yeah.
- Yo, Chi-Chi, take register.

[Neil] I feel it coming.

[Mikey] Dude, there's literally
zero chance he clears this level.

[Neil] Yeah, there's a strong probability.

[Mikey] There's no f*cking--
Probability is like gravity, Fak.

[Richie, Mikey]
And you cannot negotiate with gravity!

- [Neil] Booyakasha!
- [Richie] Come on, now!

- [video game buttons smashing]
- [Richie] Come on, now.

- [Neil grunting]
- [video game character grunting]

[sobbing]

[all] Ooh!

- [Neil] I'm such a loser!
- [Richie] You f*cking ret*rd!

- [Neil] Yo, come on!
- [Richie] ret*rd!

- You should call your mom.
- [Neil] Yeah!

[Richie] Call your mom,
tell her you're dead.

Yeah, right. [grunts]

- [Neil] I'm alive. Get off of me!
- Hey, Cousin. Cousin.

- [Neil] Stop it!
- Hey, what did you say to that lady?

[sobbing]

[Richie] I didn't say anything.
I gave her a free sandwich.

[Neil] She's really crying.

Yeah, 'cause you're so bad
at this f*cking game.

Yeah. Well, I'm sad too now.

Yeah, you are sad.

You're sad.

You gotta tell her
she's gotta stop crying.

- f*ck do I gotta say that?
- She's gonna scare all the regulars.

And what do you want me to say?

- I don't know. You know...
- What?

Be a gentleman, Cousin.
Just f*cking tell her.

- Tell her what?
- She can't be crying in here.

- Should I say that?
- She cannot be crying in here.

Impart that little gem
of f*cking empathy, dude?

[Richie] She can't be crying here.

You're a f*cking barbarian.
Go cover the line.

- [Mikey] Fak, can you help?
- Yeah.

Yeah? Could you be of service
and just go help?

Oh...

[sniffles]

[Tina breathing heavily]

Sandwich really that bad?

[laughs]

Um, no. I'm-- I'm just... [sighs]

I'm fine.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I don't know, 'cause I saw you before.

It looked like you were crying.

I don't think I was really crying.
[chuckles]

[Mikey chuckles] I don't know. You
looked like you were really crying to me.

Yeah, but not, like, sobbing.

Not sobbing?
All right, I'll give you that.

You weren't sobbing,
but I think you were crying.

Kinda.

Bad day, huh?

- Worst.
- [Mikey] Yeah.

You?

Um, I don't know. I'd say, like,
kind of normal, average shitty.

- Yeah, I know it.
- [Mikey chuckles]

How crazy would it be if you, like,
didn't know it?

You know? Like, if that--
if that wasn't the baseline.

Yeah, then I wouldn't be human.

[chuckles] Exactly.

Uh.

Can I go first?

- Please. Yeah.
- [Mikey] Yeah?

All right. Sit?

- Sit. Yeah.
- [Mikey] Yeah?

We got this toilet back there that, like--
I mean, the thing's possessed.

- It just keeps f*cking exploding?
- [Tina chortles]

It's like-- It's like,
equal parts depressing and disgusting.

And, like, all the floor around it
is totally rotting.

So that's, like--

I don't know. That's a solid number one.

Number two is, uh, delivery company.

The delivery guy, he changed our terms.

We went from a net 45 to a net 30
which just, like, sucks, you know?

'Cause I was about to ask him
if we could move to a net 60.

So instead of having
that lovely conversation,

now we got to talk about a payment plan.

And I guess number three on...
[clears throat]

Number three on just, like, sort of
a general, kinda, like, macro level,

we just-- we don't have
enough people working here.

So, the people that are here are just
kind of getting shitty towards each other

because we are, like,
constantly f*cking rocked.

So, like, I don't know,
the-- the general vibe just sucks.

And, yeah, I guess that makes me sad.

Hmm. Is there a number four?

Uh.

I can't remember
the last time I went to bed.

You know?

How about, uh, you go?

- Uh, one, my landlord raised our rent...
- [Mikey] Yeah.

- ...by, like, a lot, which is problematic.
- Okay.

Two, my husband has been waiting
for a promotion for years

that's probably not coming.

Uh, three, I lost my job.

Four, I've been applying for every job
in the city, and I can't get arrested.

Five, I'm 46 years old. [chuckles]

[sighs]

Oh, boy.

- [Tina] Yeah. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]

Is there a-- there a number six?

I also can't remember
the last time I went to bed.

[chuckles] Yeah?

All right. Well, you feel better?

- Not really.
- Not even a little f*cking bit.

[phone buzzes]

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, we tried, right?

[Tina] Yeah.

Check that out.

What the hell is that?

- I have no idea.
- [Tina laughs]

No, my, uh--

my baby brother, he's-- he's a chef.

- Oh, fancy.
- [Mikey] Yeah.

He's, um--

He's the sh*t.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

You, um--

You ever know somebody who, like,

knows exactly what it is in this world
that they wanna do?

Like, f*cking knows it,
and not only do they know it,

but they're really f*cking good at it.

Mmm. That sounds like a dream.

I'm telling you, I-I genuinely
really think that that is the dream.

Hmm.

This a family business?

Eh.

You know, my-- my old man, he opened it.

He also ran it into the ground.

He just, like,
has a giant stack of unpaid bills.

He took one look and he split, you know?

He hightailed it.
Ran for the hills, never came back.

Mmm. They'll do that.

What, bills?

- Dads. [chuckles]
- [scoffs] Yeah. Amen to that.

So, do you like the work?

[Mikey] Um.

I-I don't know. I mean, I--
I like the people.

Okay, but do you like the work?

I definitely do not like
never not being f*cked.

You know? I-- I don't like that you gotta
make enough money every single day

just to pay for yesterday.

I don't like it when, uh--
you know, sh*t happens.

The oven breaks
or the sewer line backs up.

I don't like it when the delivery company
forgets f*cking onions, you know?

But, yeah. No, I do. I--

I-- I like the people, you know?

Mmm.

Then I guess that's why people do it.

- [Mikey] Do what?
- Open restaurants.

- Eh.
- [Tina] Yeah?

I don't know. I mean, I know it, like--

I know it, like, sounds like bullshit,

but I think that, like,
if you really consider,

you know, like, the-the--

the special moments,
you know, of your life--

like celebrations, good times,
you know, cheer--

I feel like, you know, they always happen
around food, you know?

You believe that?

Yeah. I-- I think I am starting to.

- [Tina] Okay.
- Yeah.

- [Tina] Sure.
- Yeah.

[both chuckle]

So if you could do anything,
what would be your dream job?

f*ck. I-- I don't know. You?

[stammers]
I don't think I have a dream job.

I'm not that good at anything, so--

Yeah. I mean, I think I'm pretty good
at a lot of things,

but I'm not, like,
stellar at any one thing.

- I think that's most of us.
- [Mikey] Yeah.

I remember when I was a kid,
I went on this field trip.

I don't remember what it was f*cking for,

but I remember we went into
this old building, you know?

Like, beautiful. Like, proper art deco.

And on every single floor it was, like,
a different business, you know?

It was all official.

You know, people working in suits
and dresses and, like, doing their thing.

And... [stammers]

I remember thinking, like, this building,
it's like a building of dreams, you know?

What kind of dreams?

Well, if-if you think about,
like, every single one of those people,

they had, like, one dream, right?

And that led them to that building and
then to that floor and then to that job.

And it was just, like-- You know?

Mmm. So it was inspiring.

No. I mean, dude,
it was totally f*cking depressing.

- I mean, it k*lled me.
- How come?

I just-- I don't know.

I mean, I'm a kid, and I'm there,

and I'm like,
"Well, that sh*t ain't happening to me."

You know, I knew--

I knew I was gonna get,
like, skipped, you know?

Like-- I had sh*t to do, you know?

I had people to take care of.
And I knew that, like--

I don't know. Like,
that dream sh*t-- Pfft, you know, just...

You know, wasn't gonna happen to me.

I was there for 15 years.

At the place that fired me.

That's brutal.

[Tina] Mmm. Brutal.

- And when I'm applying for all these jobs...
- [Mikey] Yeah.

- ...it's all kids. Right?
- [Mikey sighs]

They look like kids.

Dude, is that not the f*cking worst?

[Tina] Yeah.

But also beautiful, you know?

[Mikey] Why? How so?

- They seem, like, hungry, you know?
- Yeah.

And... [stammers]

And I was thinking to myself, like,
maybe I lost that in myself.

- Yeah.
- You know?

Like, I get anxious to pay the rent.

Like, to pay for groceries,
like, real sh*t, right?

And I was thinking it would be real easy
for me to get really angry at these kids.

Like, "f*ck them kids.
They don't know sh*t."

They haven't been through nothing,
they don't know real stress.

[sighs] But I'm also like...

"I would give anything
to be one of them m*therf*ckers."

Ah, dude.

So f*cking true.

- I'm jealous as f*ck. [chuckles]
- [Mikey chuckles]

Yo!

- Like, as f*ck. Yeah.
- [Tina] Oh, sh*t.

- It's comedic how hard it's been...
- [Mikey] Mmm.

...for me to find anything, man.

- I'll clean a dish, I'll wash a floor.
- [Mikey] Mmm.

I'll sell some bullshit, you know?

I gotta cover this a*s, right?

[Tina sighs]

I don't need to be inspired.

I don't need to be impassioned.
I don't need to make magic.

I don't need to save the world, you know?

I just--

- I just wanna feed my kid, you know?
- [Mikey exhales sharply]

- Amen.
- [Tina huffs]

Amen, man.

Just give me a routine.

I'm in.

Okay. Uh.

Listen, you-you might totally throw
that f*cking sandwich in my face,

and-and, like, have at it, all right?

'Cause I'm just gonna say,
full disclosure, this place--

Like, this f*cking place, it sucks.

Like, it sucks. It's, like, you go home,
and you f*cking smell it, you know?

And it's, like, insane.

And there's so much f*cking yelling here.

But, I swear to you,
there are days that it is so much fun.

Like, it is so much fun.

- [chuckles]
- [Mikey] And-And the pay is sh*t, right?

But there are days we make a rack
of f*cking tips, and it's like--

- It feels f*cking good, you know?
- Mm-hmm.

So...

Uh...

What are you asking me?

I need a new line cook.

Yeah?

Yeah.

[stammers] I have an actual--
I have an actual résumé.

What the f*ck am I gonna do with a résumé?

I'll go clean the toilet
with the f*cking résumé.

- I don't need a résumé. I talked to you.
- [Richie] Yo!

- What? You know? What do you think?
- [Richie] Yo, Cousin!

Michael! Soda machine's f*cked up again.

Dude, I f*cking heard you!

Shut the f*ck up!

So you see that?

It's basically like that, like,
all the f*cking time.

- [Richie] Yo, Cousin, what did you say?
- For f*ck's sake.

Let me go deal
with this m*therf*cker, all right?

Uh, look, thank you.
Think about it, all right?

I'm Tina Marrero, by the way. Hey.

- Hey. Michael Berzatto.
- [Tina] Okay.

- And think--
- [Richie] Michael!

- I-I appreciated the conversation.
- [Richie] The soda, Michael.

- [Tina sighs] Me too. Thank you, man.
- Like-- Yeah. Enjoy your sandwich.

- [Tina] I will.
- Think about it. I'm right in there.

- [Tina] All right, Michael.
- Dude, honestly. Like, why?

[Mikey]
Dude-- It's just the same sh*t, guys.

- Just f*cking use an indoor voice.
- sh*t. [sighs]

[Richie] I only have one.

[Mikey] What?

Mmm...

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Mmm. Smells good.

- It's almost ready.
- [David chuckles]

How'd it go?

Great.

- Nice.
- [Tina laughs]

["Got This Happy Feeling" playing]

♪ Got this happy feeling ♪

♪ Deep inside of me ♪

♪ What else can I do, girl? ♪

♪ But love you, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ What else can I do
If I'm in love with you? ♪

♪ You're always on my mind ♪

♪ Help me understand, girl ♪

♪ It is you, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Whoo! ♪

♪ Got this happy feeling ♪

♪ Deep inside of me ♪

♪ What else can I do, girl? ♪

♪ Love you ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ Got this happy feeling deep inside ♪

♪ And how bout you ♪

♪ Listen, listen, listen to me, girl ♪

♪ I love you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ I got this happy feeling
Deep inside of me ♪

♪ Because my boobie
Is having a little boobie too ♪

♪ Got this happy feeling ♪

♪ Deep inside of me ♪