04x03 - In It To Win It

[bunniefuu]

- MALE: Big up the masses.

- NARRATOR: Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight. - [abseiler screaming]

- NARRATOR: Take a deep breath for a cartoon cram-a-ganza!

- ♪

- [squeaks] - [screams]

- NARRATOR: It's...

KaBlam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now, to take you inside and turn the pages.

Here are your hosts Henry and June.

- ♪

- Hey there, KaBlamatrons. I'm Henry.

- And I'm--whoa!

Check this out.

They redid the set.

- [springs boinging]

- [sniffing]

Hot chocolate! Mmm.

- Boy, this is great.

It's about time they spruced up this joint.

- [voices chattering]

- Uh, Henry, are you getting a creepy feeling?

- Like we're being watched?

- Yeah.

- [cheering]

- Ah!

- [cheering]

- What in KaBlam's name?

- It must be part of the new set.

You know, so our fans can watch the show being filmed.

- I get it. Like The Today Show?

- [cheering] [applause]

- The window was a great idea.

It'll make us a tourist attraction,

it'll help us keep in touch with our fans.

- I don't know if we want to keep in touch with all our fans.

Get a load of this nut job.

Ooh!

- Cool! It even opens.

- Urgh.

- While Henry works on his people skills,

why don't you watch The League work on their action skills.

- ACTION LEAGUE NARRATOR: Date line, Kiddy Pool Harbor

where an international smuggling ring is blown out of the water

by our action blowhards.

- Freeze you rotters! You're busted.

- Swing that contraband over this way. Pronto!

- No problem. - [engine roaring]

- ALL: Argh! - [water splashing]

- The coast is clear, Mr. Mayor.

- Good work, Yeoman.

Now, let me inspect my precious treasure.

- Aye, aye, sir. Mayor, sir.

- [chicks cheeping]

- MAYOR: Hello my pretties.

With you two as breeding stock,

I'll corner the easter chick market in no time.

I'll be richer than Bill Cosby! [evil laugh]

- NARRATOR: Today's episode...

With a sleazy smuggling ring on the loose,

The League starts asking tough questions.

- Who wants some hoagie?

- I do! - Let's eat!

- I'm starving. - Yummies.

- Wait. Stop the picnic.

I just found out what those smugglers were, um...

smuggling.

A rare species of easter chic.

- That's horrible, Bill. But we've got a hoagie to eat.

- ALL: Yay! - You don't understand.

These birds multiply at an alarming late

and have been known to eat anything.

- [chewing] Is that bad?

- NARRATOR: Meanwhile, at the Mayoral Mansion...

- [chicks cheeping] - Look at 'em all.

I'll be able to pay off my student loans.

- They finished off all bags of bird seed, Mr. Mayor.

- MAYOR: Well, that should hold 'em for a while.

Now come give me a hand with my easter chic website.

- [fences cracking]

- [sinister music playing]

- I'm warning you,

if we don't stop these chicks now,

we'll have an ecological disaster on our hands.

- Ecological sme-cological!

Which part of "We've got a hoagie to eat"

didn't you understand?

- ALL: Yay!

- [chicks chirping]

- STINKY DIVER: Blimey! - CHIEF: What the--

- THE FLESH: Not good. - MELTMAN: There goes lunch.

- Oh no. I was afraid of this.

They're breeding out of control.

And they're headed for the world food reserves.

- Blast it, Bill! Why didn't you warn us?

Now, let's move out!

- NARRATOR: Moments later...

- [chicks chirping]

- [tires screeching]

- Crikey! We're too late.

- I was afraid of this too.

Now that the world food reserve is gone,

who knows what they'll eat next.

- Hello, friends. - The mayor!

- Can I interest you in some cuddly easter chicks?

Ow! I mean oh wow. They sure are cute.

And attractively priced. Act now!

- ALL: Yay! The mayor is toast!

Aargh! So are we!

- [chicks chirping]

- NARRATOR: What's this?

Is the Action League about to become action feed?

Find out in the action pecked conclusion of Action League Now!

- Hello again.

As you can see, our set is newly designed,

newly furnished and now...

- [chains clanking] - Newly locked.

June, how are things out there with our scary fans?

- I don't know what you're taking about.

There may not be a lot of Henry fans out here,

but there's plenty of folks giving it up for June.

I'd like you to meet the June Jamboree from Juno, Alaska.

So, girls, love your get-ups. Did you make them yourselves?

- Who are you? Your costume stinks.

- You are so un-June.

- Excuse me. I am June. - Yeah, right.

Like she'd ever wear those shoes.

- Hi, I'm June. Look at me.

I've got a fake mic and everything.

- Give me that!

- Hey, punk! I was using that, you know.

- Who do you think you are?

- ♪

- Henry!

And now, here's Prometheus and Bob.

- She doesn't know when to quit.

- NARRATOR: What you are about to see is top secret.

It is a video tape recorded thousand years ago

by an alien using a remote controlled camera.

It shows his attempts to educate a caveman.

They have been code-named the Prometheus and Bob tapes.

Tape . Magnetism.

- [static crackling]

- Hmm.

Hey, what you doing there? - Hey?

- [alien muttering]

- Huh.

- [alien muttering]

- Oh!

- Huh? [alien muttering]

- Huh. Hmm. Hmm.

- [alien muttering]. Give it to me.

Give it to me.

- Oh!

Hey! [laughing] Hey.

- [alien muttering].

- BOB: [laughing]

[babbling]

- [static crackling]

- Hey, hey. [alien muttering]

- [chimp shrieking]

- Hey! [alien muttering]

- BOB: [laughing]

- [chimp shrieking]

- [alien muttering] - [chimp shrieking]

- BOB: [gasps] [laughing]. Hey!

- [static crackling]

- BOB: [laughing]

Hey.

- Hey. Come here. Come here.

- Huh? - Come here.

- Huh?

- [alien muttering]

- Oh. Hey.

- [alien muttering]

- [g*n zapping]

- [alien muttering]

- [monkey shrieking]

- Hey!

- [glass shattering]

- Hey, hey. Ah!

- [alarm bleeping] - Oh.

- BOB: Ah! Oh!

- [static crackling]

- [alien muttering]

- Oh. Oh!

- [alien muttering]

- Oh, oh.

Argh.

- [alien muttering]

- Oh. Oh. Oh.

- Ah! [alien muttering]

- Oh!

- [monkey shrieking] - [spaceship crashing]

- Oh.

- [monkey shrieking]

- [static crackling]

- [alien muttering]

- KABLAM NARRATOR: Hey, KaBlamoids.

Keep your heiner in the recliner.

Still to come, Life with Loopy,

Garbage Boy,

and when we return, more Action League Now.

Right here on KaBlam!

- [metal clanking]

- NARRATOR: Action League Now.

Here a chick, there a chick,

everywhere a chick-chick.

Is it lunchtime for our heroes?

- All right, everybody back up slowly.

No sudden moves or loud sounds.

- [foot thumping] - Yow!

- [chicks stop chirping]

- Quiet! You melted moron!

- Wait, do that again. - I can't.

- THUNDER GIRL: Sure you can.

- [foot thumping] - Yow! Cut it out.

- [chirping]

- Amazing.

That sound is remarkably similar to their mating call.

I have an idea.

- MELTMAN: Yow!

- CHIEF: Keep hitting him! That's an order!

- MELTMAN: No more! Please.

- Sorry, Melty.

- Yow!

- Hey, give me a crack.

- It's my turn.

- Yow! Ooh.

- [chirping]

- NARRATOR: Moments later.

- Good work, Meltman,

your whining led those chicks straight to the boat.

- Now they can go back to their natural habitat.

- You know, aside from all that pecking to death,

they sure were cute.

- That's why I kept one.

I mean two...four...eight... eleventy-five...nine.

- Ah! - No!

- Help. - Take them back!

- You bozo!

- NARRATOR: The end.

- ♪

- CROWD: USA! USA!

USA! USA!

- [cheering]

- In case you haven't noticed...

- [buzzing]

- This whole window thing isn't really working out.

- Whoa! Whoo!

- Go blue devils!

- Boo! Duke!

- Yeah! - Duke! Duke! Duke!

- Woohoo!

- But it looks like we're stuck with it.

- [faucet creaking] - [water running]

- Unless...

- [water running]

- Henry, what are you doing?

Mr. Foot is taking his yearly shower.

- Exactly.

- ♪

- CROWD: [indiscernible chatter]

- Hen-man, you're a genius.

- Those hooligan tourists flew all the way here

to stare at fog.

- [laughing]

- [water stopping]

- [footsteps pounding]

- Uh-oh.

- [breaking wind]

- [chains clinking]

- Open it! Open it!

- CROWD: [indiscernible chatter]

- Phew! That was close.

- CROWD: [indiscernible yelling]

- ♪

- Greetings.

I am the all knowing Lawrence.

Here to reveal the secrets of tomorrow.

Just kidding. It's me. Larry.

But, heck, everybody wants to know what the future will bring.

Especially my sister, Loopy.

- [insect slurping]

- Keep back! Keep back I tell you.

- TV NARRATOR: What horrible fate awaits Space Captain Sam?

Find out next week

in the thrilling conclusion of Creature From Planet Zero.

- Next week? I can't wait that long.

- 'Fraid you're gonna have to, Loopy.

You can't fast forward life, you know. [laughing]

- We'll see about that.

- LARRY: Now, science tells us

that time is an unalterable phenomenom.

But Loopy never let a little thing like science

get in her way.

- [rooster crowing]

- LARRY: And by breakfast the next morning,

she turned our five dollar remote into...

- The world's first universal time manipulator.

- Yeah, right.

Well, manipulate this, Einstein.

[blows raspberry]

- Okay. I will.

- [whirring]

- [blows raspberry]

- Here's your breakfast, Loopy.

Your favorite. Peanut butter pizza.

- Thanks, mom.

Mmm. Yummy. Let's do that again.

- [whirring]

- [gulping] Two for the price of one.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've got a thrilling conclusion to catch.

- [whirring]

- Woohoo! Time sure flies when you're having fun.

Out of my way slowpokes. The future is now.

- ♪

- [police siren wailing]

- Uh oh.

- [police siren wailing]

- What's the problem, officer?

- Don't play innocent with me, little missy.

You've just broken every speed limit

in the time space continuum.

You're coming with me to...

- [bell ringing]

- MALE: Time court.

The honorable Father Time presiding.

- [hammer banging] - Well, Sargent?

What terrible time criminal have you brought me to look at today?

- The worst kind, your honor.

The defendant stands charged

with willful manipulation of the temporal flow.

- Young lady, do you understand the severity of these charges?

- Uh, is this gonna take long?

- Oh, typical!

Young people today have to appreciation of time.

Why, when I was your age

I watched paint dry and grass grow.

And I loved every minute of it.

- Hey, gramps, can you speed it up a bit?

I got a TV show to catch.

- Impudence! Time is an age-old institution.

And I won't stand

for snotty-nosed children messing around with it.

By the power vested in me,

I sentence you to an eternity in limbo!

- [party music]

- Ah!

This scene is getting old. Fast.

- Stop her.

- Freeze, mister!

Time to rewind my behind out of this place.

- [whirring]

- Phew. Right back where I started.

- Yeah, right.

Well, manipulate this, Einstein.

[blowing raspberry]

- No, thanks. Time travel is too much trouble.

- And, so, for now, the future remains unknown.

But perhaps someday someone will unlock its mysteries.

- Ah. There's the remote.

I've been looking all over for that.

- [whirring] - DAD: Whoa!

- NARRATOR: KaBlam!

- Welcome back to KaBlam,

where we've got a whole new attitude

to go with our whole new set.

- That's right. Starting now, we're gonna pretend

those annoying people outside aren't even there.

- [sucker popping] - What people, June?

- [glass scraping]

- HENRY: You see, June and I are able to focus

and block out distractions.

- Go ahead, holler all you want.

Nothing is going to break our concentration.

- Well said, June.

That's because we're professionals.

- When you've been in the business

as long as Henry and me,

you learn a thing or two about coping.

- Amen, sister.

- Now that we've settled that little matter,

how about a cartoon, hmm?

- [cup smashing]

- Remember, June. Focus.

Now, why don't you focus on the world premier of Garbage Boy.

- ♪

- [singing] ♪ Up to my elbows everyday!

- [trash crashing]

- [singing] ♪ In cool stuff that people throw away ♪

♪ I'm a garbage boy!

♪ I'm a garbage boy

♪ A lawnmower engine and old pool float! ♪

♪ This will make a wicked motor boat! ♪

♪ I'm a garbage boy

- [trash crashing]

- ♪ I'm a garbage boy

- ♪

- Hey, guys.

- Hey, Danny.

- Cool pets. They new?

- Yeah.

- [mouse squeaking]

- Whoa! [laughing]

- I guess he likes you.

- Man, I wish I had a pet to play with.

- Argh! You can't have a pet

'cause all you got is garbage, Garbage Boy!

[evil laugh]

By all rights, you laugh when I make a joke.

Fraido, eat!

- [snake hissing]

- [mouse squeaking]

- [gasps] no! Ah! Put me down, Clyde.

- Quiet, Garbage Boy!

Don't you know it's not polite to talk while someone's eating.

- [snake gulping] - [mouse squeaking]

- You don't deserve to have a pet, you big lummox!

- Yeah, but I got one anyway. And you don't.

- Urgh. - Now why don't you go home

and play with your garbage, Garbage Boy!

- [truck braking]

- It's The Clown Pony Show,

starring me! Clown Pony. [laughing]

- Boy, I can't believe the stuff people throw away.

Look what I found during the hospital trash run.

A heart defibrillator!

And it still works! Clear!

- [static hissing]

- [gasp] Oh.

- [plate smashing]

- [chicken splatting]

- Oh. We don't need it, dear.

Maybe you should--

- Yeah, I know. Basement.

- Mom and dad, I have a real important question to ask.

I know what you're gonna say, but just hear me out.

I want a pet. All the other kids have them.

I promise I'll take care of it and walk it and feed it

and pick fleas off it. So, can I have a pet? Please?

- You know your mom's allergic. - You know your dad's allergic.

- I mean I'm allergic. - I mean I'm allergic.

- Sorry, Slugger. We got a full house here.

We don't even have room for the things we need.

- [items clattering]

- ♪

- CLYDE: Garbage Boy!

You can't have a pet 'cause all you got is garbage!

All you got is garbage.

- That's right, Clyde. I got garbage.

- [metal clanking]

[metal clanking]

[metal clanking]

- Here, boy! Fetch.

Roll over. Play alive.

- Esther wanna play, big boy.

- Come on, Esther, beat it. I'm busy.

- Clown Pony wanna play.

- I'm Clown Pony.

You can play with me in , different kinds of ways.

You can play with me in the bathtub,

you can play with me in the bushes.

- Okay, Sis. You can stay.

But not to play. No.

We're gonna make garbage history!

You, me and Clown Pony.

- Stop it. You're tickling me.

- ♪

- Clear! - [static crackling]

- ♪

- Doggy jump!

- [laughing]

Whoo! Whoa, kid. Take it easy.

You trying to fry my kishkas?

- It's alive! It's alive!

- Oh, no kidding, Professor Bright-boy.

Alive and in person.

[clanking]

- ♪

- Here, Jumpy. Here boy.

Let's play.

- Dig. I don't do sticks, kid.

You want to play, I'll show you how to play.

Aces. Deuces Wild.

- Hey, you got an ace up your paw.

- Buddy, I got a whole leg full of 'em!

How many do you need? - [laughing]

- Tyler, get a load of that.

Garbage Boy is playing with a doll. [laughing]

- Bug off, Clyde. I'm busy.

I'm about to take my pet here for all he's worth.

- Ha! You call that a pet?

It's just a heap of junk. - Junk?

Well, you're not exactly Captain Good Looks yourself.

In fact, you remind me of a trash compactor I used to date

back at the city dump. Hope I'm not out of line.

- [laughing]

- By all rights, your dog will be dinner!

Eat!

- Hey, Danny.

I think it's time for me to shake a leg.

Whoops. Hey, it was just a figure of speech.

- [oil gurgling]

- [snake hissing]

- [metal crashing]

- [machinery whirring]

- [snake retching]

- [mouse squeaking]

- Good dog.

- Well, it's nothing really.

You know, when you've been to the landfill and back like me,

you've kind of seen it all. One time I was in furnace...

- [hissing]

- ...and there was this large c*ck...

- Jumpy! Behind you! - [screaming]

Ouchie, Mama!

- [snake gulping]

- Ah.

- CLYDE: Hey, Fraido! What's the big idea?

Get me outta here!

By all rights, I must be coughed up.

- Whoa! That was awesome. Can we play with Jumpy?

- Sure. You can help me put him back together.

- Easy there, tough guy. Watch the merchandise.

Hey, and how about doing me a favor

and making me look more like that George Clooney,

I mean with the Cesar cut.

You know, he's a good looking fella.

- Well our "fans" have finally left us alone,

taking with them everything we own.

- Fortunately, we're still very focused.

- Put a sock in it, Henroid.

But really, folks, we couldn't be happier.

Finally, we're all alone.

- That's right, June. Nobody is watching us.

- Nobody's watching us?

- Wait! - Come back!

- We can work something out.

- We'll buy more stuff for you to steal.

- ♪

- NARRATOR: Join us again next time.

Same KaBlam time, same KaBlam network.

- ♪

♪