03x03 - Your Logo Here

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath...

For a cartoon crama-ganza!

Iiiiit's...

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.

And u.s. Department of education

Hi, I'm henry.

I'm june.

And welcome to kablam!

Why the new slogan?

Well, our nation's president

Has decided to make tv more educational,

And, after a lot of network pressure,

We here at kablam!

Are proud to answer his call.

To kick off the brain swelling,

Let's talk about the origins

Of the name kablam!itself.

Kablam is an example of onomatopoeia--

Words that sound like the thing they describe.

It's hard to say but fun to do.

Observe.

Here's another one--

Sizzle.

And my personal favorite--

Splat.

I've got another example, henry.

Pow.

Pow?

Ahhhhhhh!

Wow! Educational tv

Sure is full of surprises.

Just like our next cartoon.

Tv: we'll be back with more

Real-life mob justice on television.

But first, here's products.

[Ring]

[Ring]

Hello? Bronkowski fondue residence,

Squeaky speaking.

Sacred mother of fruit!

There's a burglar on the prowl!

Hold me.

We'll be fine if we just take

Some basic precautions.

There's no need to panic!

[Door slams]

[Locks turning]

[Drilling]

[Pounding]

Thanks for talking me down, man.

[Crickets chirping]

[Crash]

My thrifty but effective tin can alarm!

Hello, ?

The burglar's in my house!

I need a swat team down here--

Code blue!

[Sirens wailing]

[Crash]

All: hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!

♪ I've got the brave stuff holding onto me ♪

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Mr. Fonda, looks like we've got your burglar.

Cut me a thin blue wedge.

That's snizz!

You let the burglar get away!

[Snoring]

The next time you got a false alarm, pally,

Why don't you call--

Somebody...else.

Snizz, the burglar was in our house,

And the fuzz let him get away!

Sweet torment of fear!

Obviously we can't rely on the police.

We'll have to form

A neighborhood watch.

Set me down!

Fondue's in action mode.

The burglar!

Corporal bronkowski, after him!

Good work, towser.

I guess we will just leave that right there.

[Snoring]

[Alarm sounds]

Gahhhhhhhhh!

What's the story, afternoon glory?

My battlestar shapiro figures--

Gone!

Ah! Holy fruits!

This time it's personal.

That sick, demented freak

Of a moustache guy has gone too far!

We're going to defcon .

You mean...

Oh, mommy, yes.

Walkie-talkies and

Stylistic new uniforms.

That'll set us up proper.

But, cheese guy-- how we gonna pay for 'em?

Easy--we'll have a rummage sale.

The basement's full of old junk.

You are one fruit smoothie.

[In singsong voice] sni-iz. You're not help-ing!

[Snoring]

Hey, what a great electric blanket.

Miold junk es suold junk,

And every dollar goes to support

The neighborhood watch.

This is perfect.

Exact same model as the one I got stolen.

Look, it even has my name on it.

That looks a lot like my wacky putty.

And that's my sport utility vehicle.

[Gulp]

Ah. I get it now.

You stole all this,

And now you're trying

To sell it back... To us!

Burglar!

No, wait. I know who the burglar is.

It's him! The moustache guy!

I saw him lurking.

If I am the burglar,

Kindly explain why you have my dog.

Burglar! Thief! Thief!

Stealer! Thief! Stealer!

[All hollering]

Wait. I'm not the burglar.

You gotta believe me.

I have no idea how that stuff

Got in my basement.

[Snoring]

Fondue: sniz! He-el-el-el-elp!

Wow! That was informative.

I hope so, hankski,

Because here at kablam!,

We're...

Right now, we'd like to bring out

A very special friend.

Ed the educational otter.

Hi, boys and girls.

Who here is ready to learn?

[Munching noisily]

Ok, then.

♪ If you want to be smart ♪

♪ And save your teeth ♪

♪ Brush every day ♪

♪ And lay off the sweets... ♪

Hey!

[Giggling]

♪ The way we look ♪

♪ Tells the world who we are ♪

♪ So look real neat ♪

♪ And you'll go far... ♪

[Chuckling]

[Train whistle blows]

[Muffled laughter]

Ha ha ha!

Now, look at that.

♪ There's only one planet ♪

♪ For you and me ♪

♪ So let's work together ♪

♪ To save energy ♪♪

Ed, wait!ed, wait!

Dateline--rec room national tennis center,

Where the action league plays for charity

With action celebrities

Sly stallone and arnold schwarzenegger.

Yo, nice form, thunder babe.

That's thunder girl....

Ahhhhhh!

You oaf.

I may play action heroes in the movies,

But you guys are the ones

Who really keep the world safe.

I got it!

Yahhhhhh!

Out.

Hey, ball boy. Look alive--go fetch.

Ok, ok.

Keep your pants on.

Jerks. "Get this, get that."

One of these days,

Somebody's gonna appreciate me.

Moments later...

Here's your stupid ball.

Wait, that's no ball.

It's an egg of the rare and deadly

South american jumping spider.

[Roaring]

Gasp!ahhhhhh!

Today's episode...

We find our heroes held at bay

By an angry arachnid.

All: ahhhhhh!

Ohh! We want our mommies! Ohh! We want the mommies!

Don't worry. I learned how to handle

A situation like this in etymology school.

Run.

Good idea.out of my way! Right behind ya.

See ya, melty.

Oh, no. Why me?

Why is it always me?

Hel-l-l-l-p!

Gross. Spider spew.

Fascinating. Spewing is how

The japanese spider shows affection.

He seems to think you're his mother.

Really? He likes me!

He really likes me!

Later, at action headquarters...

♪ ...and the eensie, weensie spider ♪

♪ Went up the spout again ♪♪

I hate to gob in your porridge, mate,

But your eensie, weensie spider

Is a deadly, wedly predator.

My precious wouldn't hurt a fly.

[Belches]

Listen up, you clowns.

This is tor.

He's an exchange superhero from denmark.

He'll be staying with us a while.

[Danish accent] I look forward to the many years

Of learning your ways of superheroing.

Ahhhhhhh!

Ouch! Ooooh!

Nice meeting you.

Blast it, melt man. Now what am I

Supposed to tell the danes?

Bad spidey. You know mommy doesn't like it

When you mutilate

Our northern european friends.

Awww, that's ok.

Mommy still loves you.

Hello, action league now.

Hey, it's arnold!hey, terminator.

Arnold!t!

Just wanted to stop by and thank you all

For helping out at the tennis tournament.

[Growling]

Ahhhhhhhh!

So much for our free movie passes.

Look, melt man. I know you have

Feelings for this big, uh--

[Yelling] but I want that bug gone

Faster than carl lewis on the concorde!

But he's my baby.

I can't give up my baby!

Chief...

My research on jumping spiders

Shows that the mother is

Fiercely protective of her young.

That's true. We are.

No, meltman. The real mother.

Does she look anything like...that?

Yes, actually,

And as we used to say

In etymology school--

Run!

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Is this the last hit

On the action league web site?

Find out in the action- spewed conclusion of...

Go wake your grammy, there's more kablam-my.

Still to come...

Life with loopy,

Prometheus and bob,

And when we return,

More action league now!

Right here on...

Oh, what a tangled web

The action league has weaved...

Or is it woved? Or woven?

You know what I mean.

Help! Help! Help!

Don't panic. She only wants her young.

Well, she's not going to get him.

[Roaring]

Meltman! Meltman! Meltman!

There must be some reasonable way to resolve this.

Well, I don't know

If it's reasonable or not,

But I have an idea.

Welcome to lola. Today's topic--

-Legged babies with mothers.

Who's wrong? Who's right?

And who wants to fight?

I'm the real mother, lola.

[Snarling]

Give me one good reason

Why you should be his mother.

[Roaring]

Ahhhhhhh!

Ok. That's a good reason.

The end.

Ha ha. That was rich.

You know, henry,

People love action league now!

For its madcap humor and zany antics.

But what they don't always appreciate

Is its educational value.

Absolutely, june. Just think about

All the things we've learned

From this thought- provoking cartoon.

We've learned about the laws of gravity.

The importance of water safety.

And, that when you put a bad guy in the blender,

You should always set it on puree.

Kablam!,Ladies and gentleman...

And now, prepare your mind r this.

It's life with loopy.

Hi, larry here.

You know, moms are weird.

Take ours, for example.

She's always planning

These great fishing trips for us,

But she never seems to want to go,

And it's always the same excuse.

Sorry, I've got to clean out the basement.

Again?

A mother's work is never done, pumpkin.

Come on, shrimp. Let's blow this popsicle stand.

You guys go ahead.

I'm gonna stay home and...

Help mom.

Looks like it's just us guys, huh, dad?

Come on, son.

Now we can get down to

Some serious salmon fishing.

There's something fishy going on, all right,

And I'm gonna find out what.

[Beep beep]

[Spy movie music plays]

Special agent m reporting for duty.

Come in, number .

Good morning, m.

Have you evacuated all non-classified

Personnel from the premises?

Affirmative. I've sent them

On another fishing trip.

Excellent. Proceed immediately

With operation adios amigo.

Good luck, m.

Thank you, number .

Over and out.

Mom! You're a secret agent!

Why, whatever gave you that idea?

Mom!

Ok, loopy, I'll tell you the whole story,

But you can't breathe a word to anyone,

Not even to your father.

Years ago today,

A ufo crash-landed in our backyard.

The alien pilot negotiated

A deal with the government.

In return for a place to stay here on earth,

The alien promised to reveal to us...

The secrets of the cosmos.

This subterranean apartment was constructed

To house the alien and his spaceship.

I was enlisted to act as special operations agent.

My mission was simple--

Retrieve the alien's information,

Provide him with nutritional sustenance,

And wash his socks and underwear.

Wow! So there's an alien living down here?

Not for long.

Loopy, it's time you met our guest.

Oh, goody. Is it lunchtime already?

Sorry, buster. This free lunch is over.

The government's shutting the operation down.

You're out of here.

Oh, gee, mrs. M. Give me a break.

A break? I've been waiting on you

Hand and foot for the last years.

And how many secrets of the cosmos have you given us?

Zero.

Oh, gee. It's so hard

To think on an empty stomach.

Ok, mister, that's it. Into the spaceship.

[Buzzers sound]

Computer: overload! Overload!

Uh-oh.

Guess flesh gordon's

Had a little too much home-cooking.

Now what am I going to do?

If your father comes home and finds

An alien on the couch, he'll have a conniption.

Don't worry, mom.

We'll put a rocket in this guy's socket.

It's just gonna take a little teamwork.

Ok, blob-body. Welcome to the exercise files.

Time to get off your green rear

And get those alien buns in gear.

[Upbeat music plays]

Loopy: ♪ lift those tentacles way up high ♪

♪ Work those flippers and wiggle those eyes... ♪♪

Now that's what I call an alien life form.

You said it! Hey, look out, universe.

Buff boy's coming home!

All systems go. Let's get him on board.

Dad and larry will be here any--

[Horn beeps]

...second.

[Tires screeching]

You stall 'em. I'll take care of mr. Macho here.

Hi, um... How was the fishing?

Oh, nothing us guys couldn't handle.

Right, dad?

That's right, son, although this big fella

Put up one heck of a fight.

So, what have you two been up to?

[Rumbling]

Well, with loopy's help,

I think I finally cleaned out the basement.

Welcome back. We're here with our friend,

Ed the educational otter,

To talk about a very important topic.

That's right, boys and girls.

When it comes to preparing young minds

For tomorrow's future today,

There's no substitute for reading.

So...

♪ If you wanna be smart ♪

♪ As an otter someday ♪

♪ Read a good book ♪

♪ There's no better way ♪

I couldn't agree with you more, ed.

That's why I brought along

Some of my favorite reading material...

Galaxy of death.

Whoa! Is that the one where simulac

Gets his face ripped off?

Say...

Is that the latest issue?

Uh-huh.

Can I see it?sure.

Ow!ugh!

Ow!ow!

While henry and I learn about

The importance of self-defense,

Why don't you enjoy our next cartoon?

Narrator: , years ago,

An alien videotaped his attempts

To educate a caveman.

The prometheus and bob tapes.

Tape number ...

[In robotic voice] hey, bob, birthday.

Huh?

[Talking robotically]

Oh. Watch me, all right?

[Talking robotically]

Eh.

Hey, bob. Watch me. Watch me.

[Squeaky horn blows]

Hey.

[Horn blows]

Heh heh.

[Talking]

Ah![Pop]

Bob...

[Wailing]

Ok, all right...

[Talking robotically]

Bleah.

Ok...

[Talking]

[Chuckling]

[Chattering]

Eh.

[Laughing]

Ahhhhhh!

[Sighing]

Ow!

[Squeaky horn blows]

Ehhhhh!

[Talking]

All right? Ok.

[Talking]

[Laughing]

No! No!

[Laughing]

Ohhhhh!

[Chattering]

[Pop]

Eh?

Oh!

[Crying]

[Talking]

[Slurping noises]

[Talking]

[Frightened yelling]

[Talking angrily]

Gimme that!

Hey! Hey...

[Wailing]

[Bang]

[Bang]

[Bang]

[Squish]

[Slurping]

Yum, yum.

[Horn blows]

[Horn blows]

Wow! Now that's what I call...

Oh, poppycock.

You two have made a--a mockery of educational tv.

Ok, ed. When you're right, you're right.

But to make up for it, henry and I

Have prepared something truly mind-expanding

To wrap up the show.

Hanksi?

[Loud electric guitar plays]

[Ka-boom]

What in the world do you think

You're teaching anyone with that?

Whoa-oa-oa-oa!

How to trap an otter.

[Resumes playing]

Let me down!

Umph! Uh! Uh!

♪ If you wanna be a guest ♪

♪ On a tv show ♪

♪ Don't be a twit ♪

♪ Or in the net you go ♪♪

So long, ka-students.

We'll catch ya on the kablam!side.

Join us again next time.

Samekablam! Time,

Samekablam! Network!