01x07 - KaBlam! Gets Results

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath...

For a new kind of cartoon show.

Wicket! Wicket! Wicket!

Iiiiit's...

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.





Hi, everybody and welcome to another klambambunctious episode of kablam!

I'm henry and june...

Is...

Ker-awwgghhh-huhhhh!

I assume an explanation is forthcoming.

I am learning self-defense.

The pages of kablam! Are aswarm with assassins and spies.

Henry, you can help me.

Pretend you're my enemy.

Lokey, arch fiend of norse mythology

And the arch enemy of the mighty thor.

No.

Pppleassssseeeee!

Thencan we start the show?

Ok. Now come after me with your evil cloak.

Aaahhh!

Evil cloak! Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Huh. So much for self-defense.

Here's our first cartoon.

June: ssayyyaaaoooohhh!

Guys who put the mental in fundamental--

Sniz and fondue.

So, snizzy baby,

Which movie looks good?

Uh, hold on.

I got a-a-a--

A-choo!

[Splat]

Sorry.

Sorry? Sorry?!

You sick pig!

What? What?

What do you mean, what?

You totally contaminated my cereal, that's what.

No way. It didn't even touch it.

Keep dreaming. Your mucusy mist blanketed my bowl

In a carnival of contamination!

Don't be such a prisser.

Besides, my sneeze is nothing compared to the bacteria and filth

You breathe in every second.

Yeah, right.

I really believe that.

Nice try.

No. No, it's totally true.

Check this out.

This--this is a joke, right?

Oh, how I wish it was.

Although most of us are unaware of it,

Our bodies are living hosts to millions of micro-organisms,

Which survive solely by eating our dead skin cells.

Other subcutaneous insects that live in our eyelids

Resemble the common flea.

Aah!

I got bugs on me!

Everyone does. They're microscopic.

And...nasty!

It pumps % germ-free air,

Removes all traces of dust,

And with the premium channels I ordered,

I got this free tote bag.

Juicy!

Dude, I need entry!

Ok, but first, you got to put the suit on.

I'm ready for clean living, baby.

Ok. Enter through the front tube portal.

I'm giving you clearance.

♪ Life is a fantasy ♪

♪ From reality ♪

♪ But when you turn from truth! ♪

Ooh! Warm.

Welcome to club sanitaire!

No germs allowed.

And here is my housewarming gift to you.

A zutnut bar.

Ooh! Zutnutty goodness!

These are my favorite!

Nice place you got here. Real sharp.

♪ Just boom boom boom ♪

[Alarm sounding]

Aah!

No! No! You weren't supposed to remove the helmet.

You'll spread icky germs.

And now all of a sudden your business don't stink?

[Alarm stops]

♪ Oh, life is choice and there's no trouble ♪

♪ When you're living in a germ-free bubble ♪

Sniz: hoo hoo hoo! Whoop-a-doo!

[Splashing]

Whee! Ha ha ha!

Whoop-aah! Wheee!

Yuck!

Ahh.

Hmm. Right hand on fuchsia.

[Music playing]

Mmm!

Aw!

Oh, man, he's not gonna--

Ooh!

D-.

Oh, snap me down! You snagged my u-boat!

Yes! Rockdecazbah!

I win! You lose!

♪ See-saw ♪

♪ See-saw ♪

♪ See-saw ♪

♪ See-saw ♪

Sniz! Sniz!

Sniz! It's all clear to me now!

It is?

What is?

Talk to me, champ.

I'm through being afraid!

In this life,

You just got to dive in,

Head first!

No.

No.

No!

Aaaaahhhhh!

There's a lesson in that cartoon for all of us.

Yeah. We should all get our own bubbles.

Those things are cool.

[Sighs]

Forgive june. One moment, please.

[Grunting and sizzling]

[Grunting]

Uh!

Aaaahhhhh!

Ooooooohh! Oooooohh! Ooooooohh!

You know, there's a lesson there for all of us.

While I get henry out of this sticky situation,

Let's watch the action league get into theirs.

It's next.

Announcer: dateline. Countertop fitness center,

Where the flesh tones and tightens.

...!

Look at these rippling pecs.

[Sniff sniff]

Say, something smells good.

Mmm!

Deviled eggs! Scrumptious!

But what the flesh doesn't smell

Is devil danger.

Enjoy your lunch, you naked numbskull.

And now, action losers, prepare to meet the new flesh.

[Robotic voice] destroy.

Starring...

He's super strong and super naked.

She flies like thunder.

A former navy commando

With an attitude as bad as his odor.

And...

With the power to...

Melt!

Today's episode...

We find the action league at a parade honoring them

As the greatest superheroes in the world.

This is pathetic. I'm missing baywatch for this.

Maybe we're early, stinky.

[Dog barking]

Hey, where's the blasted flesh?

Uh, he's coming,

Spastic league!

Meanwhile, the real flesh engineers a cunning escape.

As he pilots his prison,

Using his eerily, accurate internal radar.

Ooh!

I'm free!

Thanks, good citizen!

Ouchies!

Back at the parade...

Look, there's the flesh.

Hey, flesh, get your bare butt over here.

[Robotic voice] action league away!

Incoming!

Whoa! Someone's mad about his year-end bonus.

You're suspended, mister!

Feel my wrath, bush league.

Hey, flesh, I like the cut of your gem. You rock.

You wreak!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Hey, you! Want to pick on someone your own size?

Blimey! I'm seeing double.

Oh, no! Which is the real flesh?

I'm the real flesh.

[Robotic voice] I'm the real flesh.

Who isthe real flesh?

The big, stupid naked guy,

Or the big, stupid naked guy with bolts sticking out of his body?

Find out in the double good, double fresh,

Double action-packed conclusion of...

Hey, kablamoids,

Keep your heiner in the recliner.

Still to come, life with loopy,

Prometheus and bob,

And more action league now!

Right here on...

When last we left our heroes,

The flesh was in double trouble.

Which one of these naked neanderthals is the real thing?

Only the action league knows for sure.

I haven't got a clue.

Only the real flesh would know this.

Flesh, what's the action league password?

Deviled egg?

[Robotic voice] deviled egg.

Gee, they're so alike. It's uncanny.

Yeah, and neither one of them knows the blasted password.

Enough talk.

Let's get it on!

How about a hurts donut?

Yes, please.

Ouchie!

[Sizzle]

Hurts, don't it?

And so, the battle raged.

Muscle against machine.

Dueling disrobed dyamos.

Fighting to the finish.

Losing...strength...

Not having fun!

Ha ha ha! Say good-bye, nude boy.

Oh, no. If there were only some way to tell them apart.

I've got an idea.

Hey, stupid!

What?

Right! There's your real flesh.

[Shot]

[Robotic voice] ouchies!

Later, that day...

How did you guys know it was me?

I knew that no machine could be as bone-headed as you, flesh.

Aw, thanks, stinky.

Aaahhh!

Uh!

Ouchies.

The end.

I don't see why the action league

Had so much trouble telling those guys apart.

The real flesh would have had b.o. From his workout.

Ha ha ha ha! B.o.

Ahhh.

What's with you, june?

[Monotone] I am not june.

I am robo june.

Robo june.

Of course you are.

Say, robo june, why don't you show us

Some of your extra special "robo powers?"

Very well.

Hey, henroid.

I, um...

I see you've met my evil robot double.

Could we just go to a cartoon?

This is embarrassing!

Sure!

Ok, here's our--

Oops. Sorry, henry.

Henry?

Uh, robo june, you want to take us to life with loopy?

[Monotone] okie-dokie, smoky.

Hi, I'm larry.

This is my little sister.

Her name's lupicia, but we call her loopy.

She's years old and I'm .

This is our house.

This is mom and dad.

And this is a goldfish.

But I'm here to tell you about loopy.

Now, I tell you, loopy gets some crazy ideas in her head sometimes.

But let me tell you what happened last week.

Do you remember that goldfish?

Ok. Last week...

It died.

Now, I'm old enough to handle that kind of thing,

But loopy threw a fit.

Waaaahhhhh!

And she kept on throwing it until she heard mom say to me...

Well, I guess we're just going to have to flush it down the toilet.

Why?!

Oh. Uh, well...that's 'cause that's where goldfish heaven is.

Well, it turned out it wasn't such a good idea

To tell loopy that, because for the next few days,

She was fixated on the subject.

Then it happened. It was thursday night.

I remember, 'cause that's when the charlie chicken show was on.

And I loved that show.

No, really! I'm charlie chicken!

Come here, turkey pal,

'Cause you ain't no chicken.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[Door opens]

Excuse me. I have an announcement to make.

I have disguised myself as a goldfish,

And I am about to mount an expedition to find goldfish heaven.

Ok, dear. Don't make a mess.

Now, the thing about loopy is,

When she says she's gonna do something,

She usually does it, so I figured someone

Ought to keep an eye out on her.

By the time I got to the bathroom,

She had locked the door.

So I sat outside and waited.

An hour later, loopy opened the door.

And when she got her breath back,

She told me what had happened.

Loopy: I jumped into the toilet,

And swam for miles down twisty, turny pipes.

And, suddenly, just when I couldn't swim anymore,

The pipe ended,

And I was in the most beautiful place I had ever seen.

I swam past thousands of goldfish angels.

And then I saw a funny, little cave.

I swam into it and inside,

There were goldfish talking.

And I recognized one of them.

He was mygoldfish.

But the other goldfish saw me and said...

Hey, call me a kipper, but you ain't no goldfish.

Hey, I know her.

That's loopy.

Call security.

Said the first goldfish.

And he pressed the alarm button.

[Buzzing]

Hey, look, don't worry about me.

I'm having the time of my afterlife.

Now, go on, get out of here, kid.

So I swam out of there as quick as I could

And back up the pipe.

And here I am.

Well, I thought that was the end of the story,

But days ago,

We were walking out of the donut store in the mall,

And loopy noticed the name of the store,

Donut heaven, and asked...

Is there where the donuts go when they die?

And I said, "no, pea-brain.

Donuts are never alive to begin with."

Man, my little sister sure gets some crazy ideas

Into her head sometimes.

Here's our next cartoon--

Prometheus and bob.

Announcer: what you are about to see is top-secret.

It is a videotape recorded , years ago

By an alien using a remote-controlled camera.

It shows his attempts to educate a caveman.

They have been code-named: the prometheus and bob tapes.

Tape .

[Metallic voice] ok, listen.

[Chatters]

Watch.

Watch.

Go in.

[Grunting]

Ohh!

Ah!

[Chattering]

[Screeches]

[Thunder]

[Screech]

Uh-oh. Ahh!

[Screech]

[Mutters]

[Snoring]

Ah.

Hey!

[Thunder]

[Chattering]

[Screech]

[Snoring]

[Grunting]

[Chattering]

[Moaning]

Aah!

[Thud]

Ah!

Ah!

[Chattering]

[Thunder]

Uh!

All]

Well, that about does it for another show, folks.

But before we splitsville,

Henry and I have something to show you.

[Whispering] it's the triple, top-secret,

Never before seen on basic cable tv,

Kablam!shake.

And it goes something like this.

Now, here comes the tricky part.

The kablam!shake.

When a simple shake just won't do.

Oh.

Bye-bye, little birdies.

See you next time.

Later-roo.

Join us again next time.

Same kablam!time, same kablam!network.


♪ Heh heh heh heh ♪

♪ All righty ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Eh eh ♪

♪ Whatcha know about that? ♪

♪ Think about it ♪

♪ Mass attack ♪

♪ Can't stop ♪