01x02 - It's Flavorific!

[bunniefuu]

MAN: Big up masses.

KABLAM NARRATOR: Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight.[Abseiler screaming]

NARRATOR: Take a deep breath

for a new kind of cartoon show.

♪♪♪

NARRATOR: It's..."Kablam,"

where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

here are your hosts: Henry and June.

♪♪♪

Hi, I'm June.

And I'm Henry.

And welcome to Kablam!

Hi-i-i-ya!

What exactly is Kablam!?

Quite simply, it's soon to be your favorite show in the world.

That's because we'll do whatever it takes to be your favorite.

And we're taking your requests.

♪♪♪

Here's one. It says,

"Henry, put your hand over your face."

Ok, I'll do it.

Ow!

I sent that request in myself.

Funny.

Remember, we want to be your favorite.

This one says, "Go away.

We want cartoons."

Well...um...

We're cartoons.

Actually...it says... "Other cartoons."

Oh.

[crickets chirping]

Ok, then that's what you'll get.

Here's another cartoon...

That's nothing like us at all.

It's Sniz and Fondue.

♪♪♪

SNIZ: So, you see, I'm looking for a mean machine.

I need pistons, reverse throttles, minimum,

and a self-cleaning gear shaft.

Um, what exactly are you talking about?

I'm talking about raw speed, baby!

You probably haven't heard of me yet,

but soon the whole world

will be going ape over Stuntbike Sniz!

You've never actually ridden a motorcycle, have you, sir?

Whoa! Snap me down!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

I do believe I've found my road mama!

And her name is Gretchen!

Hey! Sniz is going to do a death-defying act.

Huh? What do you mean, "death-defying"?

[making motorcycle sounds] Vroom!

Right outside. It's beautiful!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Sniz got a motorcycle?!

Oh, Mama, yes!

How can you be excited?

We can't advocate three tons of vibrating metal death!

Ooh! "Three tons of vibrating metal death!"

Thanks, Fondue. I needed a title for my documentary.

[motorcycle revs]

Sniz isn't gonna actually jump that, is he?

Not Sniz-- Stuntbike Sniz.

Keep your eyes where the action is.

[engine revs]

This'll learn you respect, Father!

Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!

Steady, Gretchen!

[sarcastically] Fine. Great. Woo-woo.

Now let's end this stupidity

before you try something truly dangerous.

Keep your eyes where the action is.

Unacceptable.

Oh! What's a stuntly chap got to do

to get a fan base around here?

You stupid show-off!

What's next? Maybe you want to jump our house?

Oh, Fondue! You're the meaning in my life.

You're the inspiration!

Hey, everybody! I'm gonna jump the house!

Oh, no, you're not!

Don't you know you can really hurt yourself with that thing?

Does that mean you're not gonna watch me jump the house?

The second Sniz becomes famous,

he's gotta buy us all new beds.

And new doors. He used 'em all for this idiotic ramp.

Oh, yes! Sniz is going to be psyched!

Good afternoon, bloodthirsty thrill seekers.

I, Stuntbike Sniz,

am about to perform my greatest jump ever!

And I will emerge unscathed, unhurt, and unbloodied!

For I am the one, the only...

ALL: Stuntbike Sniz!

[cheers]

This is totally getting ripe.

I just want to say...

You should all be ashamed of yourselves!

[boos]

You people don't care if Sniz mutilates himself.

CROWD: Sniz! We want Sniz!

This is sheer exploitation!

Stuntbike Sniz shirts and caps here.

Shirts and caps.

Yo-h*. Got that in a medium?

[engine revs]

This is it. Stuntbike Sniz has mounted his moto!

Any final words to your shallow and uncaring fans?

Yes...I rule!

Yes! Feel the power.

CROWD: Oooooh!

Awwwwwwww!

Nel-l-l-l-l-lie!

Snap me down!

ALL: Stuntbike Sniz!

[cheering]

You see, biking radical is not for everyone.

It's, uh...it's gotta be in your blood.

In your soul. I do it for the raw adrenaline.

'Cause in this life, baby,

it's only you who makes each moment awesome!

[siren wails]

You'll never believe this!

Oh, Fondue...

I'm famous!

Hold me.

Ow! Other side. Other side!

Howdy, kablamoids!

Ok, June, they're back.

Let's get ready to rumble!

If you think Sniz laughs at danger, get a load of June.

She's going to break the speed of chair!

The final frontier--chair.

Remember, motorheads. Don't try this at home.

June is a professional comic book character.

Excuse me while I kiss the sky.

Vroom! Vroom!

On your mark...

Get set...

[buzzer sounds]

[buzzer sounds]

[buzzer sounds]

Chair!

[cheering]

Oh, it's dark in here.

And that, my friends, is just the tip of the stumper.

Brace yourself for action.

Here comes Action League Now!

ANNOUNCER: Dateline, dirty kitchen industrial park.

Where we find Thunder Girl on a routine patrol.

THUNDER GIRL: ♪ Thunder Girl

♪ Flying like thunder

♪ While others must wonder

♪ What it's like to be me

ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile, his dishonor, the mayor,

lurks nearby.

Let's see how well you fly after this, Thunder Girl!

Oooh! Gross!

Wait! Can't... Maintain...altitude!

Ahhhhhhh!

Now the path is clear for my evil plan! [evil laugh]

[grunting]

Starring...

He's super strong and super naked.

She flies like thunder.

A former navy commando with an attitude as bad as his odor.

And...

With the power to...

Melt!

Today's episode...

We find our heroes in the midst of a delicate rescue operation.

Ow!

Thunder Girl--report!

I was squirted with an evil liquid...

And crashed!

She was probably singing that stupid song again.

Evil liquid? What fiend would do such a thing?

[crash]

Ahhh!

Maybe the guy who threw that brick!

Look! It's some kind of message.

"Dear action morons.

"I've got the kids, and unless you deliver

". jillion dollars to my eagle landing estate by :,

"they'll suffer a nasty end.

Diabolically yours, the Mayor."

Blast it!

Don't look at me. I didn't vote for him.

Uh, guys? I can't feel my feet.

Quit thinking of yourself, Meltman!

Those kids are in danger!

I'm all over it, chief.

Action league away!

I--I've lost my power to fly!

Blast it! The mayor knows without Thunder Girl

we've got about as much chance as a dogsled at a demolition derby.

ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile, high above in his evil aerie,

the mayor delights in the havoc he's hatched.

Ha ha! With Thunder Girl grounded,

no one can touch me up here.

Ow![giggling]

Oh, you shouldn't have done that.

ANNOUNCER: As time ticks away,

the league's only hope lies in getting Thunder Girl airborne.

Wheee! It's working!

♪ Thunder Girl, flying like thunder ♪

♪ While others must wonder

♪ What it's like to be me

What the--?

[snap]

Hey! Give me my arm back!

Guys, where's the down button?

Right here, Thunder Girl!

Stinky, no!

[pop] [pop] [pop]

Oh, what's the use?

I can't fly. I'm an action failure.

Ow!

Ok, no more Mr. Nice mayor.

[buzzing]

No! No!

ANNOUNCER: Will our terrified tykes be reduced to prepubescent stubble,

or will Thunder Girl rise to the occasion?

Stay tuned for the action- lathered conclusion of...

Hey, kablamoids! Keep your heiner in the recliner.

Still to come, Life with Loopy,

Prometheus and Bob,

and more Action League Now!

Right here on...

ANNOUNCER: Thunder Girl falls...

Kids, danger.

Time running out.

The action league takes a million-to-one shot.

THUNDER GIRL: I don't know about this, you guys.

STINKY: Chin up, mate.

♪ Thunder Girl, flying like thunder ♪

Ahhh!

MAYOR: No, you monsters. Cut it out!

[buzzing]

Looks like we're just in time.

[laughing] [laughing] Ow!

To save the mayor!

[all laughing]

Hey! Hey! Where's Thunder Girl?

THUNDER GIRL: Up here, you guys.

She got her power back!

Bully for her!

Soar, Thunder Girl, soar!

♪ Thunder Girl, flying like thunder ♪

♪ While others must wonder-- ♪

[electrical zapping]

Ouchies!

[weakly] ♪ What it's like to be me ♪

ANNOUNCER: The end.

Ok. Thunder Girl flies.

The mighty Flesh is large and in charge.

But what's the deal with Meltman?

Excuse me?!

He can withstand temperatures in excess of , degrees,

applied directly to his face.

Yeah, but he's such a dink.

That's his fatal flaw. All super heroes have one.

Why can't there be a superhero who's invincible,

and smashes everything whenever she wants?

She'd be the greatest superhero ever,

and reign supreme over the Milky Way.

Her name would be...

Barbara.

Barbara Shecter.

Ha! That's the stupidest name I ever heard.

Then again, Barbara Shecter could work.

I like it. It's Kablam-errific.

Like our next cartoon, Prometheus and Bob.

Miss Shecter?

ANNOUNCER: What you are about to see is top-secret.

It is a videotape recorded , years ago

by an alien using a remote-controlled camera.

It shows his attempts to educate a caveman.

They have been code-named: The Prometheus and Bob tapes.

Tape number ...

Huh?

[talking robotically]

Ahhhhhh!

[groaning]

[talking robotically]

[grunting]

[screeches]Ahhhhhh!

[smooching sounds]

[grunting]

[talking robotically]

Huh?

[chattering]

[grunting]

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Uh? Uhhhh...

[chattering]

Tape number ...

[talking robotically]

[grunting]

[talking robotically]

[grunting]

[crash][alarm sounds]

[talking robotically]

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

[talking robotically]

[chattering]

[smack]

[growling]

[talking robotically]

[zap]

[chuckling]

[talking robotically]

[crash]

[static buzzing]

[chuckling]

[screeching]

Ya-hooooooo!

We're nitro-wheelin', tire-squealin',

kings of the road.

June says that sitting in front of the washer with a fan on

is just like watching Kablam!

But I think something's missing--

We don't have helmets!

Look! I am jarhead!

[bleating]

Sheephead.

[coughs]

Pianohead!

Oh. That was not very smart.

[birds tweet]

Good thing June's got a hard head.

[chuckles] Ahem.

While I administer first aid,

here's our next cartoon,

Life with Loopy.

Hey. I'm icehead.

♪♪♪

Hi, my name's Larry. Let me introduce the family.

This is my little sister, Loopy.

This is my mom,

and this is my dad.

He's what you'd call a laid-back kind of guy.

Yep--nothing seems to faze my dad.

Well, nothing, that is, except...

DAD: Ahhhhhhhhh--bills!

Bills, bills, bills!

LARRY: Now, to Loopy, dad's bill problems

were being caused by one icy-hearted individual,

and, believe me, when it comes to melting icy hearts,

my sister Loopy's a regular blowtorch.

♪ Hey there, friendly mailman ♪

♪ There's something I've got to say ♪

♪ You're such a lovely person... ♪

Mostly bills today.

Grouchbag.

[slam]

DAD: And what's my little sugar lump got for me today?

Bills! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

LARRY: The next day, Loopy got busy.

She figured if the mailman wasn't going to respond

to genuine love and kindness...

[chainsaw roars]

She'd have to appeal to a more primitive emotion.

Fear.

[in spooky voice] Go back! Go back!

Leave this evil place at once!

Or suffer the curse of... The living dead!

Soon as I get your signature on this, pal.

[scribbling]

DAD: And what's my little zombie got for me today?

Bills? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

At this point, Loopy decided to switch gears.

She figured if the problem wasn't going to go away,

we could go away from the problem.

And, you know, life went by surprisingly smoothly

for the next few days.

We got great reception on the TV...

Ah. Ma cherie. Je t'aime. [smooching sounds]

LARRY: And, as for dad, well...

I've never seen him so relaxed, until...

'Morning, ma'am. Nice weather we're having.

DAD: Bills? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Now, you might think after all this, Loopy would have given up.

And figured that helping dad was just too much trouble.

But you know what? You'd be wrong.

[Loopy's voice] "Sorry, Dad.

"Couldn't do anything about the bills,

"but I thought you'd feel better

"if sometimes you got a nice letter in the mail, too.

Love, Loopy."

JUNE: Sure, Loopy can make a house fly.

But can she do this?

June! Get down here!

We've got work to do!

[satellite beeps]

Ok, but only if you let me turn the rest of the pages.

But--

No buts, Henroid.

I scored higher than you on the page turning test.

No, she didn't.

Do we have a deal?

Abso-blam-olutley.

[yawns]

Start turning. Go ahead.

[spits]

Bye, kablamoids!

Bye? Hey, you tricked me!

ANNOUNCER: Join us again next time.

Same Kablam!Time, same Kablam!Network.

♪ All right

♪ Get hip now

♪

♪