04x12 - The Return of the Monster in the Closet

[bunniefuu]

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Oh

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my closet he's gonna get no honey I'm

really big can you handle this

hey you see sluggers there's nothing in

your class

Kevin Kevin

there you see Kevin there is no monster

in your closet and you know the mommy

and daddy would never let anything

happen to you you're not alone in here

blinky let's be a big boy okay time for

uncle wire when was the last time you

went to the bathroom you hustle into the

bathroom I'll get you a glass of water

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here you go

these wires from your bathroom I wanted

kitchen water

young man this is the third night in a

row that you're going on in here nothing

everything's under control

why go through this every night just let

him sleep in your bed all the experts

there's nothing wrong with it

thank you dr. Joyce brothers listen

Kevin there is no monster in your party

yes fine

you see what you think you woke up the

whole house I have a big day tomorrow

what do you say we all just go back to

sleep all right okay wait wait the

lights on if you promise to go to sleep

okay buddy all right Leah Remini a story

tomorrow dad what do you want now

perfect is

sure can have a kiss

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I meant for Mom can I give you a kiss

well okay first by her

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job honey no I'm looking for a

motorcycle a motorcycle yeah girls love

guys who ride motorcycles maybe you want

to get one dad walking Sara you're too

young for a motorcycle yeah I know but

the way I figure if I start a layaway

plan now I can have the bike by the time

I'm 16

then I won't always be grubbing rides

like get the morning cleavers hey you

wouldn't ask remember the family did not

quit Jill how is you yes Eddie

good morning mrs. pleaser you remove

your coffee is so tantalizing this

morning I was wondering if I might have

some help ease down oh it's not for me I

like to keep my crew where they work

faster that way well I better get going

what about breakfast oh no problem yeah

bye grandma bye New York

my mom hey you look tired are you

alright Mary Ellen and I were up all

night please one like that nothing tell

your mother haven't seen the monster

again third night in a row you ever get

the feeling the kids can end up on a

roof with a r*fle that'd be ridiculous

because the phase he's going through

when Bieber with his age he had an

invisible friend Haley Phil out of this

there's nothing wrong with having a

vivid imagination

Kurt's cousin used to have one that

wants to talk to him that's what he told

the police the pediatrician recommended

well then what's a big help it said that

Kevin should confront his fears and

punch the monster in the nose 1295 down

the drain maybe you should be there for

him when he gets home from school wait

then you

you should talk you've got one kid who

breeds poisonous snakes and another one

who eats them yeah but well you haven't

worked an awful lot lately maybe the

monster is Kevin's way of getting

attention

Oliver knocked over his motor something

hey I told you to stay in the car yeah

Harley needed these seeds of awesome

power

I hadn't even close you're like I can't

believe that I've gotta waste an entire

Saturday and traffic for watching those

boring highway safety belts Wow can we

play get my first

well young man I think it's time for you

to go to bed Kevin one sip of coffee and

I'm gonna keep you away not afraid of

your room are you no I'm just a fan of a

monster mom slugger

let's talk about the monster okay okay

what does he look like I don't know

well what do you think he's gonna do to

you I don't know well then what are you

afraid of well I'm going to sleep be in

an hour

honey why don't you go inside Kevin and

I are gonna have a little talk okay you

know sometimes daddies don't get to

spend as much time with their kids they

like to you know what I mean yeah you

think that if um you and I spent more

time together that maybe the monster

would go away you know we're gonna do

slugger you and I are gonna go to a real

professional basketball game and you

know what else we're gonna go camping -

what do you think of that Kevin it's all

in your imagination there is no monster

what is that that's it now look young

man you are a grown boy you were gonna

go upstairs you're gonna get in your own

bed and you're gonna go to sleep and

daddy is gonna make sure nothing happens

to you okay okay yeah I don't want to

hear another word about the monster

understood yes honey

lately I want to spend Saturday with

Kevin I gotta get this work done you

think you know it's after midnight well

you haven't heard of peace all we needed

was that little talk together

mano-a-mano well whatever the bottom

line is that Kevin and I have this

little understanding there are no

monsters tonight Monica I'm not a

favorite amongst it but mine is present

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hey hey you don't hammer with me watch

TV understand

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Eddie what's going on here these guys

have been here for two days and they

haven't done anything you know I've had

that same feeling feed it up right Bob

throws me of the prop needy maybe I'm a

contractor not a translator time you

know I don't know who's Dumber

even for hiring these guys are us for

hiring you considering that I'm making

the money and you're spending it I'd

have to say you are a school

construction I hate it when people hang

up answering our phone construction well

I took the liberty of having my calls

forwarded you're a Gertz having some

elective surgery and she won't be

conscious until about 4:00 what kind of

surgery

her appendix burst that's not elective

surgery

I'm already go hello oh hello miss Gary

no we've been having a little problem

with our phone and no I can be there in

about half an hour

goodbye when Callie comes home tell her

I've had to go to Kevin's school we have

what kind of trouble is belief demon

child in their learning of your business

are you right this will make this brief

if you spent half the attention on the

kids that you do on your so-called

career he wouldn't have these problems

Eddie the only thing I want to hear from

you if the job is done what I don't want

is to come home every day and find you

sprawled out on the couch drinking beer

now you and your Albanian friends better

get some work done or you'll find

yourself drinking your beer through a

straw

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some wonder the kids

unfortunately this is the third dish

we've lost these Bubba started feeding

them oh that's a shame yeah but the

children do still love their little

burial services

why don't we come sit down over here

make this Weaver oh you sit down first

of all I'd like to say how much I admire

you older mother I just want to do all I

can for Kevin in the short time I have

left Kevin has turned out to be quite

the helper he's the only one in my class

who knows how to tie his own shoes

and he's always helping to other kids

tie their well that's very nice to hear

miss Terri it's Pamela Pamela miss

Pamela Pamela sorry

I'm very glad to hear to Kevin such a

good little helper and all but that's

not why you called me down here is it

well no what is it now it just seems

that kevin has been a little tired

lately he didn't even want to join us on

our field trip to the mailbox and he did

have that little accident this morning

accident was he hurt

no not that kind of accident will meet a

sudden change of clothes for Kevin's

cubbyhole thank you is everything okay

at home with Kevin

well actually miss Pamela he had been

having a little problem but we thought

he was over it

Oh see Kevin he's been afraid of a

monster in his closet he's been having

trouble sleeping but I'm sure you hear

that all the time

No

oh but that would explain this this is

Kevin's book of life and dislikes the

children tell me what to write and then

they draw a picture I like fish funeral

I dislike mr. Haskell I like ice cream

I dislike Brussels sprouts I like peanut

butter and jelly sandwiches I dislike my

bedroom

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I just write them down

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and we had this thing all worked out

maybe you did the Kevin didn't well he

hasn't been in our bed the last two

nights maybe he was more afraid of what

you said in the monster little dry

he doesn't like eddie haskill either

well if he did I'd really be worried

about him are we gonna do I don't know

teacher says that we should validate his

feelings about the monster come on

that's ridiculous we're supposed to

agree there's a monster in the closet

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get me my own apartment well you'd be in

there slugger

I can't tell he's invisible

oh well then we better check the monster

meter you ready yeah don't be afraid fun

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monster monster full of doom we command

you to leave Kevin's room cat Kona pine

they got Newton

thank you got memories

that's a fighter we command you to be

gone

monster monster Europe now monster here

at now we command you to leave with a

pound

well because

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we can

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[Laughter]

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sorry I'm late okay how was your day

good monster monster full of fright come

back again but don't spend the night

still working on the Richardson divorce

clothes Kevin and his buddies are

upstairs he wants to show him the

monster he wants it back how terrified

for so long then all of a sudden

everything's okay we must really be good

parents her lucky one I don't know I

guess I wanted him to be such a good

little soldier I forgot it just a little

boy

every father wants his son to be a

future all-american sometimes it's hard

to accept there might be a in the

armor

we just hope they can accept our

shortcomings food

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so what's for dinner me I did got home

well that's okay I guess I could whip up

a little something

power powers powers that be put some

food in front of me

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well I guess we could call for a pizza

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thank you let's be no problem Oliver why

are you dressed like this you don't have

a motorcycle yeah I know that and you

know that but when I walk around school

they'll know that sometimes I worry

about that boy he's getting along all

right

number one you and I used to bug dad for

a motorcycle we're gonna tour the

country just like an emu Ryder

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winning

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tonight at 7:00 Eastern TBS presents a

movie for anyone who's ever been in love

and learned that love means never having

to say you're sorry Ali MacGraw and

Rhino Neil love story then at 9 o'clock

join host Tom Chapin for the world

premiere of National Geographic Explorer

now NWA main event is next on TBS

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