04x11 - Rockets Red Glare

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

mr. Hoffman your son has been a thorn in

this institution side for the past nine

years not including the six months he

spent in the brig by the way I never got

my meal deduction for that I'll get

right to the point after this latest

incident we want him out of the Academy

immediately you can't throw my kid out

my wife has been breaking her back for

years to keep him in this hellhole sorry

more huh in many ways however the boy is

still expelled Wally do something

legalish do you know my baton I'm the

Haskell's attorney and you have a

binding contract with them you are

obligated to educate b*mber cadet

Haskell until his 18th birthday sir up

until now we have put up with his

cheating blackmailing and unauthorized

experiments in chemical warfare you did

all that this is a Military Academy not

a cooking school yes but we cannot

tolerate him endangering his fellow

cadets why not I paid good money

especially to keep him here over the

holidays don't know Wally um general I

think we may be exaggerating here it's

not like the boy has k*lled anybody

has he sir he firebombed the officer's

quarters

how dare you slander my son where's the

evidence we have 12 cadets who witnessed

your son purchasing the detonator

my son's quite the hobbyist maybe he was

building a crystal radio

what's do something Clyde general you're

not thinking of picking a legal action

are you

[Music]

they're wonderful we'll be a normal

family yes fine normal power you're so

tall and your powder burns healed

beautifully hey bro hey what's this come

here let me show you our room maybe this

time dad will even get you a mattress I

mean I'm sleeping in the house oh yeah a

real special moment I'm gonna grab a

beer down at the boom-boom room

man that's why you're gonna end up with

a huge grudge pretty money can we at

least have one meal together don't sweat

it

it might take weeks to find another

school stupid enough to take him can't

send him away again well sure I can in

fact I've already made preliminary

inquiries into the conservation Court he

learned how to clear dangerous trails

and look out for falling rocks no Eddie

please don't send him away again I

hardly know him believe me Gert I just

spent four hours with him you're not

missing much

maybe you're forgetting something

Freddie will be leaving for college soon

won't you miss having a son to clip your

nails strain your orange juice break in

your new shoes you go playing on my soft

heart again so we can stay

you better warning one slip-up he'll be

in Montana second snake venom from guys

named Clem

like a morning mr. cleaver b*mber I

haven't seen you since you pushed Oliver

down the well uh youthful mischief sir

so is young Oliver who I'm not sure

maybe she come back in about a year

[Applause]

hello welcome well thank you mrs.

cleaver no time coming to be complete

without your sunny smile and might I add

you've aged rather well yeah

thank you and that dress is quite

becoming on your legs please you've been

at a boys school far too long mom I

gotta warn you the farmer Haskell is in

the house that's right I'm here to renew

my friendship with young Oliver and if

you promise to behave yourself I'll let

him know you're here

I'm watching you

Oliver mommy's here to see you

yes been ready for this for a long time

oh that's nice

you know I was afraid that you might

Oliver wait come on down too ashamed of

yourself

grandma he pushed me down a well Oh

Oliver he's been away so long he doesn't

know anyone couldn't you find it in your

heart to show him around introducing to

your friends what if I want to keep any

of them I know you're just kidding oh

come on you're such a good boy

sucker a cleaver Halloween's over you

can take off your mask

look b*mber the only reason I'm being

nice to you because my grandmother told

me to well then I guess you wouldn't

want this Wow a hand grenade now this

almost looks real it is real it's not

gonna go off is it no not unless you

pull this little pin you called this

making a bed you and have lasted five

minutes in military school you know

Oliver we're gonna be going to school

together so give me all the lowdown well

let's see Spencer just got his tonsils

out and we have a pretty good baseball

team this year oh yeah we just sold

enough fresh krispie treats to get that

drinking fountain it's a class gift oh I

don't know if I can take the excitement

but I want to know is who do you buy the

test from and which girls already have

their reputations well I hear that Peggy

k*ller smoked a cigarette no kidding

without a filter come on over let's get

out of here

[Music]

hi Kelly

aren't you the picture of budding beauty

so how's everything with you and your

darling Duffy that was over a long time

ago

his loss by gain so what do you say we

go into the alley and make out go sit on

a sumo fall anything with you baby hey

they're playing our song let's dance

babe this is the greatest dirty guy

girls with their hot tempers I'm gonna

love civilian life Palmer the girl just

said if you weren't fire she wouldn't

spit on you hey soon the best horses are

the ones that take the longest to break

so what do you say we swing by the video

arcade and shake down some third graders

well that sounds great but I'm not

supposed to have that much fun in one

day I'll see you but yeah you go lied

yeah I'll have to blow these off myself

[Music]

and I go there then he takes an entire

can of vegetable soup and dumps it over

the railing you should have seen the

people scatter you know squirt you got

more guts than I gave you credit for

thanks well look I'll see you later you

know Ballmer you're not as big a creep

as I remember

same to you bud thanks hey do you get me

some more of those spider crackers uh I

don't know but I happen to have this

whoa a rocky you're sharp today we do

you mean you can't light that off out

here hey cool it clay it's gone in a

flash

these things travel at twice the speed

of light

really of course not stupid so much for

public education

[Music]

how are you back in a couple hours honey

what are you doing well I think it was

older construction going on I get

grandmother's crystal out of the way

that's a good idea

[Music]

see ya

on Saturday May the 7th 1892 in a panic

known as Victoria Park an assemblage of

10,000 gathered to see Council defeat

common would live Thursday nights will

history repeat itself there's three of

the game's legends the classic style of

commentary Richard did with Mike TIPNIS

and Mike Williamson it'll be far less

gentlemanly than the encounter 100 years

ago Collingwood and Calvin lied Thursday

night you know

[Music]

these are may never close

[Music]

with

[Music]

bounty the taste of paradise

introducing Beethoven the movie star

whose cuddly and cute butt grows and

grows and grows play the Beethoven game

called double-o-double five double three

one seven oh and you could win a

full-size Beethoven toy or one of ten

toy puppies as well as a 224 family pack

here's another great value way to buy

Kleenex quality a new family pack with

275 274 273 272 to 71 to 72 69 to see

pop into Kmart before Mother's Day and

you'll find chrysanthemums in full bloom

for 345 fleecy lambs or boots for $26

double brush dressing-gowns for $34 and

pal sonic remote color Telly's for two

hundred and ninety-nine dollars special

gifts from Kmart to make Mother's Day

really special top performance demands

top nutrition that's why the Australian

Institute of Sport and Kellogg developed

sustained one last different run a

scientific balance of delicious grains

fruit and nuts complex carbohydrates

fiber protein vitamins and minerals

control sugar low fat and low salt the

fuel for lasting energy and better

performance Kellogg sustain keeps the

energy in your day longer

yes Mary Ellen of course I share your

sense of loss I've got seven calls in to

my insurance each yeah as soon as I hang

up from you I'm going to personally drag

that scoundrel over to your house okay

fat chance how's this son this shirt is

like a fine automobile when you paint a

Rolls Royce you remove the chrome when

you iron imported fabric you remove the

buttons then you sold them back on so

that'll take hours perfect I don't need

it late

all day feeding him again what are we

running here a bed-and-breakfast maybe

you can't keep him locked up forever

beginning to hear voices and he's

beginning to show signs of scurvy I

guess it's time to give the kid an

airing okay Freddie

go get the little arsonists Eddie he

needs more than just bread and water

Kurt you're weak

[Laughter]

well b*mber you spent the last few days

thinking over the terrible thing that

you've done yes sir I promise never to

play off fireworks again they're very

dangerous who cares about that I'm the

one that got stuck having to listen to

those whining cleavers I'm sure b*mber

has learned his lesson now can he take a

nice long hot shower take him out in the

yard and hose him down sir the Geneva

Convention requires that all prisoners

must be provided with minimum sanitary

conditions I'm not a signatory to that

agreement now I warned you one mess-up

and you'd be on your way to the

conservation Court but I've changed my

mind a thousand thank you sir instead

I've been rode true and friar Fleet

Based monastery is that the Montessori

School on birch Street try a 14th

century castle in the French Alps

there's your new uniform nice belt huh

sir what's Ballmer gonna do in a

monastery all the usual things kids do

in a strict religious order that somehow

survived for 700 years without a single

modern convenience but sir can't you

think of some other punishment for me

why do you think if this is punishment

think of it as a learning experience

two good brothers will help you get in

touch with your spiritual self and if

not at least you'll gain the rewards

that come from helping in their leper

colony sir as much as Ballmer enjoys

helping the less fortunate isn't it

awfully far away I mean who knows what

I'll ever see him again why don't we

start a fool I say 30 years here take

these each bead is good for a 10-pound

sack of rice sir I must protest

farmers my own flesh and blood I can't

just stand here and watch him being

shipped off alone well if you feel that

strongly about it don't get his things

Holle

complaining so you were grounded for a

week big deal

you never do anything anyway at least

b*mber got hit how can you say that

they're sending him to a monastery yeah

with any luck it's one of those orders

that believe in whipping themselves keep

them coming

[Music]

you

it's the big idea leaving me holding the

bag hey it's my military training and

battle you never stop to pick up the

dead that's great you know what I'm glad

you're gonna be stuck the rest of your

life with a bunch of guys in long

dresses we prefer to call them pleasee a

stipple robes farmer you have to admit

you brought it on yourself the same

little story

that's bets they've always had trouble

adjusting to civilian life obvious but

even a creep like you doesn't deserve

what you're getting Hey it's gonna be

cool the monastery is in the Alps I'm

here 20 miles off the good trail and I'm

in Gustad playground of the rich that

sounds like fun

if we're up to me I'd rather just stay

in Mayfield me too all those years at

the academy I'd lie in my bunk after

taps just wishing I could be like other

kids playing ball your girl home

from school having someone call you by

your first name

gee never thought I'd feel sorry for a

guy who pushed me down a well do you

think it might help before we talk to

your dad sorry wait a minute

there's only one person in the world

they could get through to him I know

exactly who it is

[Music]

by mrs. cleaver my how the Sun please

delightful tricks with your hair oh

thank you

Mac you mean of course you'll have to

excuse the mess good such a slob I

wanted to drop these brownies off for

bummer I thought he might like to take

them with him oh that's a very nice

thought in theory but he's at that age

when too many sweets have an adverse

effect on his complexion you know how

fool those monks can be well I'd hate to

see them go to waste

why don't you take a couple oh thank you

I don't recollect ever getting food

poisoning at your house so bombers off

to a monastery oh that's quite an

adventure hmm it'll make a man of him

and it's every boy's dream to work his

way to Europe on a steamer well it

sure feels like a lot of fun are you

sure that's what's good for boomer oh

he'll be just fine they did suggested to

get his typhoid and cholera shots but I

figured let the kid take his chances

please

this must Dunmore Knutson Eddie don't

you think sending a 13 year old boy that

far away's a little drastic every family

has her rules at your house it's eat

your veggies or there's no dessert here

it's my way or the highway there must be

some other way to handle this sure there

is

but unfortunately society frowns on

taking your children for a ride in the

country pushing them out the door like a

cab but he's not a cat he's your son

that's what Gert says but I've always

had my doubts you can't be serious he

looks just like you with all due respect

Nessa see the old eyesight must be going

he nodding he looks like you he acts

just like you he doesn't act like me he

doesn't look like me he's nothing like

me

Eddie I can remember when you were 13

you were so like the b*mber why the two

of you I hate calling a b*mber what's

his real name b*mber

Eddie Edward C Haskell jr. I just don't

understand the kid or maybe you

understanding too well and it kind of

scares you I guess none of us like to

see our children make the same mistakes

that we did we're not talking mistakes

here we're talking a genetic left turn

through the years a lot of boys went

through my house and some of them just

needed a little bit of help to make them

good and Edward jr. is one of those boys

all he needs is someone to love him to

understand him to care about him

fine then you take him no he needs you

you're his father oh come on Eddie

please reconsider about sending him away

[Music]

I thought about it and he's out of here

Edward Haskell you are the most

pigheaded man that ever lived

and these are the last brownies of mine

that'll never cross your lips brownies

were too dry anyway sir I'm finished

with my chores would you care to inspect

these oh I can see myself in these boots

thank you sir I also took the liberty of

resoling them dance you can slice bread

with this crease just military standards

sir how are you on suits call me

old-fashioned but I still prefer to ham

press with a damp cloth you know Edward

may I call you that certainly sir I know

I got a short fuse maybe you do deserve

another chance you mean I can stay why

not as a matter of fact you take the bed

until what's-his-name to sleep on the

floor thank you sir

[Music]

this is where the fun happens this is

where the action is

this is wheel of fortune and the major

prizes are terrific like Raiders will

around 5:30 today Neil Diamond's

greatest hits 1966 to 1992 the ultimate

Neil Diamond Collection

[Applause]

she got away

Neil Diamond's 37 brighter songs and a

full a page booklet at the incredible

low price of only 2995 double CD and

2295 double cassette at this price he

won't find a better Neil Diamond

Collection plus you have a music video

Greatest Hits live Cowabunga dudes just

your skilling with your very own turtles

pinball machine go double-o-double 5

double 3 1 2 9 and play pinball

simulation it's audacious get the

highest score and you'll win this

turtles pinball machine call

double-o-double 5 double 3 1 2 9 and win

indulge yourself in the luxury of lease

the original delicately feminine perfume

now in a beautiful new offer nothing

becomes a woman like lace from Yardley

if you've been waiting to join the

Broken Hill meet the pudding club phone

damn it now remember family membership

is only $45 and we'll send you your free

solid gold rope chain voted at 105

dollars together with your personal Club

Card as a member you can buy all your

jewelry at less than half price already

round 2 ring from the Broken Hill Mint

as a podium club member you'll receive

your parcels hand-delivered fully

insured anywhere in Australia for only

two dollars 50 phone now and double oh

eight eight one two double 802 reserve

your free solid gold chain and enter

your name in our Hawaii holiday

competition phone the mint now Saturday

it's a special tribute to mother

we're celebrating Mother's Day with some

of Disney's most famous mums and their

children there's Dumbo bambi lambert the

sheepish lion Peter Pan and Wendy plus

we'll be talking with Janine James and

southies mum's King and with James

cooking up something special from Lucas

it's a Mother's Day treat this week on

Saturday Disney next on 7 a gross

cartoon connection and there's a feast

of family fun tonight when Betty makes a

whole new decision on hey Dad at 7:30

and Tim tries to make a hellish choice

on home improvements the laughter

starred 7:30 tonight followed by

fast-forward on 7

[Music]

[Music]