04x04 - Party Line

[bunniefuu]

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Oh

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Party Line

come on already you've been in there

over a half an hour why did you leave

your brother alone on Krim on Emma how

hard it was to even getting to take a

shower

it hits clogged up and I've got a date

with Katharine tonight yeah Bo well in

this third date all right dad yeah you

know what they say about their dates

yep I'm surprised at you don't you know

that adults don't put a timetable on

relationships sorry well I'm glad you

tried to teach him how to be a gentleman

third date ha-cha-cha good kid you went

bowling okay my shoes sorry got a date

would you rather go with your favorite

brother or some girl see hey Dad you got

a date uh-huh anyone I know

it's only the third date she doesn't

even know I have kids yet your grandma

let's go see a movie we could see one

with no knives Oh Whoopi Goldberg

another Friday with no plans well I

could have made plans but then if

something good came up I would had plans

well I guess you'll know what to do next

Friday what never mind

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even if there is a way out we'll never

find it not without help

you mean the albinos no well surely you

don't expect a piece of the tunnel to

help us are you sitting home alone

watching TV while all your friends are

having fun well don't be a Wallflower

when you can make exciting new friends

just by dialing five five five party hi

I'm Candi and I'm hoping to meet

exciting new people like you on the

party line give me a call

just dial five five five party and turn

your social life around

he called glad he did that's five by

five party if it works for that pathetic

guy I think what it could do for you

fifty cents for each additional minute

parental permission advised that's 5-5-5

party he called and we're glad he did

that's 5-5-5 party

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hi you've reached the party line push

the number 1 on your touch-tone phone

to join the party or to change to a new

party say hello make new friends and

have a great time I like you too really

no joke really I had all their CDs yeah

me too except their first three and a

double album so do you call the party

line a lot nah I was just home alone

bored so I figured it'd be good for a

laugh yeah me too you too hey I told you

to leave me alone yeah that's the

trouble with you kids today no ambition

hey are you still there yeah I don't

even know your name it's Oliver I had a

turtle named Oliver once he got run over

by a beer truck oh well I'm pretty

careful you don't have to worry about

that what's your name Laurel Laurel

that's a good name for a girl or a

street okay okay listen I gotta get off

the phone my mom's having a cow wait I

want to talk to you again cause Sunday

at 6:00 bye Oliver hi Laura

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poorly we just said breakfast it's not

like I'm going swimming or anything not

young man gag Lots we won tomorrow

it's too cool for you didn't need

anything

good morning cleavers I hope everybody's

in a sunny mood because it's time to

play he's got a secret but now back to

our game Mary Ellen

guess why ran into as I was leaving the

mall the security guard for your first

clue Cleveland 1964 Eddie is this gonna

take all day

why hope so for your second clue she has

three kids she still looks great in a

sweater why don't you think up and put

Eddie

them in the bathroom hungry in the

middle of the night sometimes Eddie did

you really expect to see me throw a fit

about something that happened over 20

years ago I ran three stoplights to get

you well I'm sorry to disappoint you

effective oh yeah oh idiom the longer

you do the bigger the expl*si*n dad the

bread wouldn't fit in the medicine

cabinet so I put it in with the towel

tell me what's going on here Oh daddy

just ran into an old friend of your

mom's friend what kind of a friend would

stab her in the back and we are talking

about women

well you're not get off Eddie seven

cookie dough be Kyle all right look

Debbie Kyle and your mom were best

friends since the first grade then when

they were seniors in high school they

got into a fight and they never spoke

again

was it over oh boy four of them Ringo

John Paul and what's-his-name you see

back in the olden days girls were just

crazy about the Beatles I mean they

throw themselves in front of their

limousine just to get close to him well

on the night of the big concert in

Cleveland Debbie gave your mom's ticket

away

that's it I was expecting some real dirt

you think you're disappointed I was

expecting your mom's mascara to run like

a river the day's not a total loss I do

get to put Kurt's mom in a nursing home

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I can't I better stay home I have a lot

to almost do schoolwork I did but I just

found out we have a surprise quiz

tomorrow

Oliver how can it be a surprise if you

know about it well it's not that big a

surprise

we better get going you know how garlic

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Laurel you really called well I had some

time with her refueling my jet guess

what I can talk as long as I want my

mother's that our parents what that

partners meeting

oh so your parents are divorced huh yeah

mine too

they face the toughest on the kids yeah

I guess they have a lot in common

yeah yeah so how old are you of me

personally well some people say I look

16 with me are you cute

well um I don't know I mean I don't have

any braces or junk how about you want to

find out we could meet

me I don't know I mean everything's

going so well I mean what if you know

like me in person no problem I just go

to the ladies room and you climb out the

window sounds fair

besides this is c*ck of fifty cents a

minute I'm sure we'd save a lot of money

good thinking do you know the soda shop

in Mayfield

yeah hang out there all the time let's

meet there tomorrow and I'll wear a red

top okay I'll um I'll wear a make you a

letter sweater you're a letterman that's

a sweater I hear wow I guess we'll see

you tomorrow Oliver good night good

night Laura

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Laura

Oh

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honey are you asleep no I'm practicing

playing dead in case I run into a bear

you like that then just go back to sleep

I'm sorry honey I miss Eddie the three

kids I've never even met honey we've

been through this a thousand times why

don't you just pick up the phone and

call her you know when Eddie mentioned

her name yesterday all these memories

came flooding back even though I haven't

seen her since high school nobody's ever

taken her place you have me did I ever

tell you about the time we spent the

whole day collecting pop bottles just to

get enough money to buy ice cream and

then my toasted almond fell off thinking

she gave you a half for a creamsicle

that friends like that anymore then call

her then don't you say our kids were

gonna be best friends too

now twenty years have gone by and

they've never even met nothing we can't

go through life saying I shoulda woulda

coulda pick up the phone and call her

understand we camped for two days to get

those Beatle tickets we only had three

peanut butter sandwiches in a bottle of

fresca and then she gives my ticket to

Frank Kelly that jerk was a Kingston

Trio fan I saw them in concert one they

were great it read love Paul

I'll never forget the first time they

were on Ed Sullivan we sat in front of

the TV hugging and crying and then the

Beatles for Betty passed out and nearly

swallowed her tongue

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honey the beatles broke up before kip

with foreign they're not getting back

together in canada you and Debbie could

why are you on her side

we're in the book why didn't she called

me I have no idea I'm here why'd you

pick up the phone and call and find out

I'm staying at the Mayfield in I can't

it I we grew up didn't seem to bother

you when I was asleep

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Mary Ellen did you really love Paul more

than anybody including me

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well you were head of ring up

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that's a job it's big coming up tips

sweater coming off yep I have to wear it

Oliver

you're not leaving this room with my

sweater okay okay keep you're gonna let

me wear it

why I can't tell you how I have a blind

date you yes I have to wear the sweater

that's the only way she's gonna

recognize me who set you up

I can't tell you I'm it it's a party

line

Oliver you fell for one of those stupid

TV ads the first time do you have any

idea what type of sick pathetic weirdos

call that number

hi I'm Oliver

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not like that Kip I've talked to her

twice I know exactly what she's like

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dreams don't come true face a dolly or

just girls don't have to meet guys on

the telephone and even if she is

good-looking

I mean what's she gonna think of a guy

like you hi Oliver she might think I'm

funny no funny to look at kids you don't

know everything

Laurel is a warm sensitive woman

sensitive

well that means she has a face like a

flounder but what you're trying to say

is this could be a bad idea

believe me Allie in cases like this it's

better to be safe than sorry

don't listen to him he's just jealous

yeah Oliver I've never met a cleaver I

didn't like

yeah that's the advantage of having a

big brother yes someone to look out for

your welfare

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Oh

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heads I go till they don't Ali what are

you doing I'm trying to find a quarter

well wouldn't you have better luck if

you looked under the sofa cushions

that's where I always look no I'm Mary

Ellen ah I'm looking to make a decision

what kind of decision it's nothing I can

talk about girl trouble sorta well who

better to talk to you than another girl

I don't think Kelly will be much help on

this one I'm Anthony Ari well I sort of

had this blind date have you talked to

her yeah twice and we got along great

well what's the problem well I don't

know I mean what if she turned out to be

Oh a dog or a weirdo or something honey

if there's one hard lesson I've learned

in life it's that you've got a grab

opportunity when it's there you really

think so definitely

I had the chance to see my oldest friend

this weekend but by the time I decided

to she'd already gone back to California

well can't you call her oh sure I'll

call her but I missed the chance to see

her and meet her children don't let your

life be full of what it cut us

you're right

thanks I'm Mary Ellen

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ah

hi Laurel Oliver

I'm glad you can make it new tune

meet you

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Ellen

hi honey hi guess what I just spoke to

Debbie for an hour and we barely

scratched sir

I'm kidding oh honey you were right it

was silly not the caller all these years

I guess you two have a lot to catch up

on huh yeah we're gonna do it it

Thanksgiving I mean you're gonna wait

until Thanksgiving before you call her

again no she's coming to visit us

Hey you mean you invited Debbie Kyle or

visit us on Thanksgiving that's my

favorite football weekend of the whole

year and not just dead in her husband

and three kids are coming to wait very

Ellen I I don't want a bunch of

strangers staying in my house on

Thanksgiving old while your husband's a

lawyer you're gonna get along great and

I think if we can visit them in

California no wait a minute

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National Geographic

tonight at 7:00 Eastern John Wayne

Weekend continues the Dukes outnumbered

and outgunned but these are the odds for

a fighting man Rio Lobo then at nine

it's the world premiere of National

Geographic Explorer now NWA main event

is next on the superstation

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