02x13 - Miss Honeywell Comes to Town

[bunniefuu]

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[Applause]

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one of the Hugo Thank You June oh it's

my pleasure enjoy your lunch I've got

some cookies in the oven hey good

afternoon ladies cleaver by those who uh

lovely outfit you're wearing

Thank You Eddie you're the doorbell

I didn't ring it I just let myself in

the kitchen door with my credit card

those cookies are delicious you look

great

that mailman doesn't know what he's

talking about

how about some more cookies downstairs

if that's okay I finished him something

for the new PAP Bruce well how sweet of

you Eddie I wonder what it could be Oh

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will you look at this someone left the

price tag on it don't we don't know that

let's do lunch

don't worry I've got more than I

expected when I pawned Gertz necklace

it's beautiful thank you you're welcome

well I have to get home before Gert so I

can make it look like a robbery

come on kid let's let the new mother

have her lunch in peace and quiet wait

kids wanna throw the football around

well I can't they're auditioning

cheerleaders today I want to see how

they pick before I go off the basketball

Kelly you want to play some football

get serious how am I gonna get any good

if no one ever plays with me I play with

you you my grandmother ha ha are you

kidding

I like to get a game in at least every

40 years let's throw the old sheep skip

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what do we do now

well when upset with kids usually runs

out for the pass and dad's back to him

all right

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I still can't believe you got hurt

playing football but I made the catch

sorry grandma oh that's alright honey

only its brain it was a great catch

wasn't it mm-hmm you sure are neat Oh

JJ's grandma does is play bridge and

talk to her cat never playing football

with us

well you'd be surprised at what you do

for your grandchildren well for the next

couple of weeks

your grandchildren and I are gonna do

for you don't worry about me who's gonna

take care of Mary Ellen and the baby oh

yeah well I just have to work out of the

house

wait a minute the wheeler trial I think

you can do what I did hire a nurse it

was a smartest thing I ever did

outside of taking those opera lessons

hmm I think a nurse would be great yeah

but do you think you can find somebody

good on such short notice

I'll call an agency they have to be

plenty of terrific nurses around

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[Laughter]

oh you're a professional baby nurse

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we'll have to let you know we don't have

a street one you know here's nah You

certainly have excellent references

you just what we're looking for when can

you start

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yeah what are we gonna do

I've seen everyone the agency has we're

never gonna find anybody I really like

that lady who offered to Ritter happy

damn it

she was nice what do you think hey I

heard you were looking for a nurse I got

the perfect one for you she's clean and

neat and we're cheap

sounds good great I'll send her right

over yeah Freddie said he couldn't miss

school Eddie

Molly I found you the perfect nurse hey

don't listen to him

Kurtz your girl if you feed her she'll

work like a horse I'm telling you I've

got the ideal person not only is she

sweet and kind but she loves babies well

so who is she well you tell me Wallace

have you been coloring on the walls

again this Honeywell

there's my big boy

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well she was our baby nurse in sat with

us when we were little Miss Honeywell

Mary Ellen

how'd you ever find her well let's just

say when it comes to helping out a

brother I'll do whatever it takes he

backed into my car you sure got yourself

a pretty little life Oh obviously the

old broads mind is gone

make it Curt forget it Eddie we're

keeping miss Honeywell

okay it's your choice but she's got

shifty eyes I'd lock up the silver do

you really want me to stay we'd be

delighted

after all you couldn't come with better

references come on while I help you get

her stuff I wonder if she still has

puppet shows with her feet Kevin I want

you to meet your new nurse hi there

sweetheart

you and I are gonna be great friends and

from now on your only job is to rest and

relax because from here on in this

little fella is all mine

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

grandma I'm going over to Freddie's I

cleaned up like like you asked

oh did you make your bed and put

everything away oh is that what you

wanted oh how wonderful I play in the

washing machine you mean how much

detergent be put in I don't know I know

that three towels three boxes oh you

don't have to do the laundry oh but

that's it we should help you out well

okay I'll just go go iron your glasses

no no hey I tell you what here you hold

the blower while I brush my hair okay hi

Thank You Oliver

that was a very nice job like a Viteri

sure good good luck she's hard to please

it's fun playing with your hair

I wonder if kevin has any hair now why

don't you just take a look Miss Honey

will won't let me near him she's never

on my walkie does mother sure

Honeywell is just doing what she'd be

suggest for the baby but I never get to

see him yesterday I thought I saw her

holding him in the kitchen but it turned

out to be a pot roast why don't you talk

to your mother and you tell her that

you'd like to spend more time with Kevin

I did since she said Kevin who Miss

Honey well won't let her near him either

all done how do you like it oh isn't

that nice now for your makeup

you should have wakened me I wanted to

feed the baby well I didn't want to

bother you dear you older mothers need

your rest but I really am getting my

strength back and I think it's time

Kevin starts to get to know his mommy

don't you want Kevin to be happy and

healthy

then let me do my job after all I know

what I'm doing

didn't Wallace turn out fine but yes

sure he did he makes a nice living and

you seem to enjoy spending it well oh by

the way you got a phone call oh who was

it she said but I forget it found it

important so she'll probably call back

later well time to start dinner

this Wallace still like fried chicken oh

yes we both do

oh no you get cottage cheese the last

thing you need is more fried food on

those thighs Oh Kevin your daddy's home

hey there's my little slugger here you

go champ

oh what a thoughtful father you are

now look at that honey it was a camera

we got to get a picture of this I'm your

sister remember you look a little

feverish go away oh great a nice family

portrait do you mind not at all are you

k*lling come on you get in here - okay

everybody say cheese

that would be lovely Obama's before I

forget you had to calls mr. Thomas C

withers called it 210 and a Miss Lillian

Cahill called from Boston that's her

number I typed it so you could read it

easily you're a peach come on let's go

check on those jelly apples in the oven

Joey apples I haven't had those since I

was a kid really all it takes is a

little effort

Wally I've given it a lot of thought and

I think we should talk about Miss Honey

well I know what you're gonna say she's

a peach and she's got a home with us as

long as she wants

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it looks like you have a very nice house

here oh you should have seen it before I

took over

a real pig been just naturally lazy

evidently I think she cleaned the house

about as often as she touched up her

roots oh excuse me I didn't realize you

had company

this is the mother well you're busy so

I'll just take Kevin out of your way oh

sure go ahead disturb his nap he's wide

awake no wonder with all the rackets

you've been making this honey well I am

NOT making don't need to apologize

tell you what how about some nice hot

tea oh good we all like ours with milk

and would you mind terribly fixing us a

few sandwiches

don't expect much

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quick hide the candy before your

grandmother comes

thank you for driving me to the

hairdresser's I know how you hate

hanging around that place hi kids

yeah just that it always smells like a

wet dog well I did all the grocery

shopping grandma oh good what'd you get

for dinner well get some pizza

so what are you having

Oh Miss Honey well I'm some sort of a

feast plan why she's a peach I don't

know we never do without her

Wally fire that old bat whatever she's

impossible she's completely taken over I

just left her and her friends praying

that little Kevin wouldn't turn out

anything like me why don't you try

talking to her I always found a rather

reasonable are you kidding this morning

she told me she thought you were a real

phony she said nobody could be that nice

Emily fire that old bat

no no and why didn't you ever tell me

that you didn't like me Miss Honey well

I guess I was afraid that if it came to

picking between me and her the peach

would win honey

you know that you'd win you're the only

woman that knows my three secret tickle

spot

I only know - honey she was my baby

nurse I can't fire the woman that taught

me how to tie my shoes

Wally Wally can I see you in the den cut

it out if she doesn't get along with

your wife you don't have a choice don't

be so wishy-washy I am NOT being

wishy-washy uh-huh don't just being

namby-pamby of course on fire no this

isn't gonna be easy I don't have the

heart to walk up to a little old lady

and toss her out in the street I do okay

everyone in this room who has a job

raise your hand not so fast

honey well the cleavers are out yeah but

soon they'll be in and you'll be out I

want to play a game I'll get a telephone

book and you can guess the numbers the

unemployment office are you kidding

lucky bertha in the fifth that horse a

loser

she couldn't win a race if she was

trapped to a rocket well she's got to

win today

she's a mother and there's a 90% chance

of rain

so maybe you're not totally useless

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this Honeywell out on the street very

nice

why don't we just watch through the

window he was give me 50 bucks for this

20 well wow that seems only fair

$50 severance pay Josh she got a place a

bet for me

oh and Mary Ellen you should learn to

get along with people so what do you

think did he fire her

I guess I could always give it a try

oh no Joon is this something we have to

do ourselves come on Wallace this is our

job okay

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we really have to talk to you oh you

want to talk to me now the important

thing is to be diplomatic about this we

don't want to hurt her feelings how do

you fire somebody and not hurt their

feelings well if anyone can do it you

can great listen that it's Honeywell

miss Honeywell I don't we feel bad faith

you look exactly like you did when you

were four years old and you spelled ice

cream all over your mother's bedspread

oh yeah and you fixed it before mom

found out about it right and if I could

take care of that problem I'm sure I can

take care of whatever it is that's

bothering you now you see well first we

would like to thank you for all the help

you've given us but it better be I hope

it's my pleasure

he's a perfect baby he's Wallace's baby

miss Honeywell when we hired you I

really thought I'd be spending more time

with the baby dear if Wallace thought

you were capable of taking care of the

baby he wouldn't have hired me you're

fired

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I send someone for my things I want to

be gone before Kevin wakes up I couldn't

bear the theme again knowing it would be

the last time miss Honeywell I'm really

sorry no no no it's all right

I understand I really am sorry about

this I brought this on myself

I know sometimes I'm overbearing and

overprotective we knew you were just

trying to do what you thought was best

for Kevin and we really want to thank

you no I want to thank you

you see I never had any children of my

own and when I hold one of these

precious little babies like Kevin I

can't help loving them and for just a

little while they're my babies

oh I was wondering could I possibly have

a picture of Kevin just something so

that after I leave I could look at it

and remember when once he was mine to

love

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oh here take this one

I can't believe this oh please it's the

least we could do it's just too bad

things worked out like this

hi

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[Applause]

[Laughter]

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they usually fall for that picture big

tough family

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grandma do you know what kit this no I

don't what's up I wanted him to play

football with me Margie no I don't have

anyone to play with

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tonight at 7:05 Eastern it's America's

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