02x12 - The Brothers Cleaver

[bunniefuu]

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the final battle of the Revolutionary

w*r was Yorktown Yorktown was the final

battle of the Revolutionary w*r

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Ollie I'm not gonna ask you again

knock it off thanks for letting me help

mom I can always go to the next Dave

Clark Five Union concert I'm sorry but

you have to go out so we can get

everyone's suggestion for a town motto

how about mayfield gateway to Bellport

there's your motto dark stuffing

colonies finally won their hard-fought

independence finally the colonies won

their independence hard-fought

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ruin my report say your plumber your

incident yeah pretty baby

none of us wine

oh just listen to that all those boys do

lately is fight mom and I have a 15 year

old and a 10 year old living together

it's only natural they fight they'll

work it out believe me see I can't take

any more I'm moving in the basement

what now space nitwit jump me and

spilled soda all over my whole term

paper Oh dad I'm tired of him bugging me

last night you tried to dip my fingers

in warm water when I was sleeping and he

told me that the day before you told him

that there was buried treasure at the

sewage plant well I had to get my

homework done okay and I had to boil his

clothes too bad he wasn't in there you

know the boys Fighting's not gonna work

yourself out you're gonna have to do

something you're right

I better look a little harder for that

gas leak in the basement

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hallo well you ready for lunch be lunch

again you guys spend more time with each

other than Lassie I'm Timmy heck I gotta

take a valium just to call my sister on

the phone yeah well it looks like that

sound keeping Allie are gonna wind up

fine what's the problem oh nothing they

just hate each other that's all hey well

that little one is annoying the other

day ran after me with some sticks why

can't they be like we were remember you

always want to hang around with me

no mom made me hanging around saying

Colly wolly can i goof around with a big

guy yeah we're always worn on your way

in well this puts an entirely different

slant on my childhood don't take it so

hard babe we always manage to have a

good time together you did a great job

of guarding our coats while we were

playing ball well maybe that's what my

boys need for me to make them spend some

time together

hey why aggravate yourself sign him to a

shrink we still get him out of the house

come on Bea if I got reservations at the

Kings Inn thanks Mac favorite restaurant

I mean today's veal day sounds good to

me I'm real good friends with the chef

and everybody there knows me good I say

hi

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stupid cleavers

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oh there you are I'll call you back

damn in the closet that I shocked did

you and he was in there why don't you go

downstairs and get your grandmother give

you a cookie then leave us alone dad

he's been bothering me all afternoon I

was on the phone and he kept making that

stupid gorilla face there are better

reasons than that for locking your

brother in the closet he's such a

useless infant his whole life is playing

with dolls and pretending he's a ninja

warrior' Oliver down there I don't care

what the reason is I'm not gonna put up

with you and your brother fighting

anymore

how dad you don't understand it's like

his his mission in life is to bug me the

only reason he does that it's so that

you'll pay some attention to him I pay

attention to him like if he was on fire

I put out the flame then you better

bring your fire extinguisher on Saturday

because you and your brother are gonna

spend the entire day together Oh dad

couldn't we at least wait till it's

winter when the days are shorter

Saturday okay I guess I could make it

through one day if I have to you have to

by the way who do you think taught in

the gorilla face

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yeah I love that part with the beast

women punished your kids cuz they

wouldn't eat the missionary remember my

powers when you started to make this

thrill nice balcony and everyone

downstairs to the changing seat and you

know what else what your stomach feeling

any better

yeah you ever she's even some hard to

say no and they give that second doesn't

free after this let's go switch sides in

the bathroom doors I love it when the

girls run out screaming let me go get

some ba*ls over the padding Ranger no

hey got the whole afternoon we'll do

both score I can't

hey guys Brenda hey booth ball great one

play keen sure some bubbly

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get Khaybar your history notes sure as

soon as I see you later okay

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what treatment brother ditched me like

that

this is Rama - dude camp this is Kip's

face and this is kid stomach

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hey guys let's do it

crews no place for less slugs and empty

pop bottles yeah we made two bucks in

five minutes who needs college hey I bet

you're gonna hang out brother today Hey

he's gotta learn to be independent

sometime hey you guys with Twiggy sure

oh wait a minute

there's two of them and there's three of

us how am I gonna split him give him to

me yeah give up all in all right now

you've got half all he's gonna have I've

got half and everybody's happy you're

right you really don't need college hey

what seat up there I don't know I want

ollie yeah there's no we're here to

catch us come on guys this is rad yeah

it's cool you might start or something

fat chance

start one of these babies you got to

pull all kinds of levers I don't think

so

this lever right here says start go

ahead pull it nothing happen I better

not hey believe me I know I handled the

Twinkie problem did not well okay

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hey guys

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yeah you'll never believe what happened

where have you been you could have

gotten me in trouble with that but keep

it just make sure to tell Dad had a

great time

yeah real great

how could you wipe out a whole house

just hit it in the right place dumpy

he's the one who told you if you'd fit a

woman up he'd win a million dollars

it's still tasted what am I gonna tell

my dad he better parents always find out

and if you tell them first but don't

tell him until he's in a really good

mood he hasn't been in a really good

mood she found out that we're making a

second Exorcist movie so we'll have to

thank a way to put him in a good

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[Applause]

Wow here's the perfect motto

Mayfield where our lives al Fletcher I

guess you don't wanna hear the one from

his brother Ralph

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some goon took my poor loser and smash

that house I was building to smithereens

and parts that place we're almost up to

code

Eddie why would anybody want to knock

down your house you may not believe this

but I do have enemies I'm sorry Eddie

save your sympathy what I need is cash

you can out what's in my piggy bank you

have a good heart

now beat it

this guy's I'm gonna nail him to the

wall ready you don't deserve this yeah

this is pretty low if you call the

police

yeah they're swarming all over the place

now but if it was up to me I'd throw a

rope over the nearest branch and it

string them up what are you doing I'm

running away why you know what happened

in mr. Haskell's house oh yeah bulldoze

framed it to bits guess who was driving

it take a heavy sweater how could you do

something so dumb and did you do it for

your friends I didn't ditch you the

second is that why you knocked down that

house dad's right you'll do anything for

attention you don't know anything I know

you deserve whatever you get for pulling

a stunt like that I didn't do it on

purpose

it was an accident Blanche don't

everybody will hate me look maybe since

I kind of got you into this whole mess I

can kind of get you out of it visit a

little late for you to start acting like

you care about what happens to me Holly

I care about you it's just that look

before we split up at the arcade I

thought we were having a lot of fun

today really yeah I wouldn't mind doing

it again sometime without you to say now

that I'm living on the next train to

Africa you're not going anywhere

chants come on have a 2:30 appointment

with that old battle-ax twin want to

take it for me

forget it lumpy you've got to learn how

to get along with your mother sometime

hey you ready babe I thought we'd eat at

the rib rack today I love that place

I'll let you loan me the money to refill

my house but I'm not getting solider by

paying interest Eddie that house fall on

your head or something hey I got a

message to meet you here you are gonna

loan me the money to fix my house right

yeah when I learn to surf what's here

good we can start this meeting now yeah

you called this meeting why to discuss

an extremely important and delicate

matter mr. Haskell Oliver demolish your

house Oliver who hired you was it the

band's Eenie brothers nobody hired a mr.

Haskell little goof let one of his dumb

friends talk them into it get the rope

and you you're gonna pay for what this

kid did

calm down Eddie he'll be punished dad it

was an accident

honest chile's pits I'm telling him

redheaded kids are always evil got that

extra hormone Oliver didn't anybody ever

tell you how dangerous construction

sites are no refrigerators what were you

thinking of the for stuff like this

obviously daddy wasn't thinking at all

and what's worse is he didn't even have

the guts to admit it to you you stare

all night mrs. best to come up with a

bulldog is not a toy something terrible

could have happened yeah you could have

had an accident you should have known

better right well he did it and who

knows what the little monster is capable

of doing next what if he's on his way

home from a football game in his

father's car and one of his friends

talks him into taking a detour right

into the middle of shadow lake yeah I

remember that I told you you shouldn't

take that shortcut Eddie made me do it

talk about that crema she a whole bunch

of stories like the one about the time

when you got enough I can't believe that

you just stood there and watched your

brother knock down a house actually I

didn't see at the time I was at the

pizza parlor with a bunch of guys but

you promised me you'd spend the day with

your brother

I know I blew it

maybe a little like the time when you

were supposed to stay home so they could

deliver the new couch but instead you

went out to the movies with a bunch of

guys and then I know I know

enter grain and the couch was ruined

just wish things didn't happen the way

they did me and oli were hanging out we

went bowling we saw movies kept even

taught me how to eat a doughnut well I

was standing on my head see I still

think a shrink is the best bet these

kids are doing fine on their own they

just needed to be reminded that they

care about each other I hate to ruin

this touching rerun a father knows

nothing I have a more efficient way of

handling this string him up

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[Applause]

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hey hey field we build it together

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tomorrow at 6:05 Eastern when Wally's

old nanny comes to live a half Mary

Ellen's would like to give her a little

advice it's the comedy bit of the season

the new Leave It to Beaver now stay

tuned for more mad pounding action on

World Championship Wrestling

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