02x09 - Tee for Two

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

H-h-h-hit it ♪

Like father, like son ♪

You're always

Number one ♪

Yes!

There's buddies,

There's pals ♪

Yeah ♪

You always seem

To work things out ♪

Can't you see

You're two of a kind ♪

Lookin' for

A real good time? ♪

Whaa-ooo-h*-h*!

A real good

Time ♪

Yaah-hoo-hoo!

Repor

To the goof troop ♪

And we'll always

Stick together ♪

Always

Stick together ♪

We're the goof troop ♪

The best of friends

Forever ♪

Side by side

Wherever we go ♪

We're always

Ready to roll ♪

Now

Gimme a beat ♪

We're the goof troop ♪

And we always

Stick together ♪

We're the goof troop ♪

The best of friends

Forever ♪

Now we're calling

Everyone ♪

Come along

And join the fun ♪

Report to

The goof troop ♪

La do be da bop

La ba do bop ♪

Yeah!

In the beginning

There was pete's

Used cars and rvs,

A modest little

Automotive wonderland

Dazzling

Downtown spoonerville,

But now my genius

Is about to transform I

Into a car lot

Go home now,

Mommy?

Shh, dear,

Not while daddy's

Inflating his ego.

So much dough,

The u.s. Treasury

Will phone for a loan.

Presenting pete's

Mega-emporium used car plex.

- Yay.

- Yeah, swell.

- Cool.

Knew you'd love it.

Gonna be twice the size

Of the old lot.

I bought the miniature

Golf course next door.

Mini golf!

You bough

The miniature

Goony golf?

Oh, daddy, daddy,

Daddy, daddy.

My boulder belly

Bought goony golf?

[Goofy]

Good goin', petey.

[Max]

Way to go, mr. Pete.

Finally, a smart purchase.

[p*stol]

Let us in free,

Pretty please?

My dad owns

The coolest place

In spoonerville.

Now, just hold it!

I didn'

Buy this place

To keep it open.

My expanded car

Lot's goin' here.

It's night after tomorrow,

Goony golf's gonna be

Biting the bulldozer.

Tear it down?

It's a slice of history.

Half the town

Grew up here.

Oh, come on.

It's a useless old dump.

Where I spen

The most precious moments

Of my childhood.

Here's where

Johnny lumbago

Gave me the ring

From his cereal box

And asked me to go steady.

Johnny lumbago?

Cheese roll, please,

My statue's going there.

And here's where max

Got his first job

At age six.

Bobbing in the moa

For golf ba*ls.

Future home

Of my sports car fountain.

Folks will throw in coins

And wish for a turbo charger.

I'm gonna be famous.

Onion breath,

Here's the kind of fame

That counts.

That's me being crowned

Miss goony golf

For winning

The all-grade golf-off.

That's me

When I won

The putting and

Sand castle building

Tournament.

Remember when I go

That nose in one?

Dad, you gotta

Keep it open.

I mean, everybody

Has a blast here.

Come on,

Didn't you ever

Play here as a kid?

Once.

Got so many

Holes in one

That the great palmer arnold

Hid his head in a sand trap.

I hung up my clubs

In boredom.

Miniature golf

Is for miniature minds.

Gawrsh, petey,

Then maybe you can

Give me a few pointers.

Fore!

Or is it five?

Now, peg,

Wake up and smell

The bottom line.

This place couldn'

Make enough money

To pay

The kids' allowance,

Let alone their

College tuition.

So, for the good

Of family's future,

The bulldozer rolls.

[Slams door]

Gawrsh, goony golf's

A goner.

Not if we can turn I

Into a gold mine.

Bottom line, huh?

Famous, huh?

By the time we're done,

This place will give him

The bank accoun

Of rockefeller

And the fame of elvis.

[Squawks]

Whoa!

Yep.

When pete sees this place,

He's gonna flip.

What?

Just what do you think

You're doing with my property?

Bumping your bottom line

Up the ladder of success.

Presenting

Pete's goony golf.

Ta-da!

What are you trying to do,

Make me look like a geek?

Uh, just showing you how

This place can make money.

This place

Make money?

At 25 cents

A customer,

It won't make enough

To give a piggy bank

Indigestion.

[Laughing]

Give us one day and

It'll make enough money

To give you indigestion

When you have to

Eat your words.

Fine.

Don't listen to me.

Wanna learn

The hard way?

Go ahead

Knock yourselves out.

Indigestion.

Fathead.

[Goofy]

Today's 200th customer

Stevie schlumpkopffer

Wins all the soda

He can drink

And a ticket to the head

Of the rest room line.

That's 960 completions

For a total

Of 1,500 yards.

That's 1,000 quarters.

This hour only,

Our goony golf pro

Is giving free

Beginners' lessons

At the bunny green.

And this here's

My inside-out shot.

Ooh, $500!

Congratulations,

g*ng.

Goony golf is saved.

Pete won't flatten

The goose that laid

This golden egg.

Now, abou

This golf course

Told you this place

Was penny ante.

But we made you $500.

Doesn't tha

Convince you

To keep it open?

Ha! My expanded car lo

Will make 10 times that much.

The deadline still stands.

Tomorrow nigh

This place is toast.

Good morning,

Orange peel.

Great news.

Now that I'm gonna be

A used car mogul,

We can take tha

Extra vacation.

Found this grea

Time share igloo.

Check the brochure.

If you're interested,

I'll send up three

Ice bags' deposit.

Ice bag.

I guess you're not.

Say, pj, pass the jam

To your dear old dad, hmm?

You're welcome.

Don't mention it.

Yeah, well, uh

Now, I know you're all

Upset about goony golf,

But I ain'

Wrecking your fun,

I'm saving your health.

Oh, please.

I have it on the bes

Pseudoscientificarized

Researcherized authority

Golf ba*ls give off

Radioactive plasticonium

'Cause prolonged exposure

Causes holes in one

In the head,

Not to mention

Holes in the mortgage

And the grocery bills.

That place will never

Earn enough money to keep--

[Peg]

Fine! We'll earn it!

We'll make

Enough money to buy

Goony golf from you.

- [Pj] all right, mom!

- [Max] way to go, mrs. Pete.

[Pete]

Why, those little

Delinquents.

Stinking tow trucks

Cost 20 bucks.

Three hours late for work--

It's almost lunch time,

And already I'm starving.

- Now what?

- [Peg] save goony golf.

Buy a plate of

Peg's rigatoni

With anchovy sauce,

And earn

The gratitude

Of goony golfers

Everywhere.

Rigatoni and anchovy sauce?

She knows

That's my favorite.

Bet she made me

Some for lunch.

Aah!

Get outta my way,

You--

That's my lunch

You're eating.

Husbands first.

Oh, sorry, fish flake,

All sold out.

This is insubordination,

Husband starvation,

ill*gal neglect!

[Goofy]

Step right up, folks.

First on the auction block's

This genuine-y

100% Polyester

Halloweeny costume--

With clashing tights--

Yours for the highest bid

To help save goony golf.

Do I hear 2 bucks?

Kiddin' me?

To save goony golf,

200!

That's mine.

Sorry. You gave it to me

When you cleaned your garage.

Well, I want it back.

Sure, petey,

If your bid's

The highest.

Did I hear 200 bucks?

Oh, yeah?

- 500.

- 750.

1,000!

Sold for 1,000 bucks

To the guy who wants to

Bulldoze goony golf.

- [Man 1] oh, there he is.

- [Man 2] that's him over there.

Now, now, wait a minute.

[Crowd booing]

[p*stol]

Mud pies!

What in the name of

Factory warranties--

Mud pies!

Get your mud pies!

A buck each.

All proceeds

Go to benefi

Goony golf.

Oh, chainsaw, don't you

Wanna fetch papa's paper?

That's a good doggie.

[Grrr]

You want me to pay?

Not if you know

Which side your

Kibble's buttered on.

[Grrr]

You lousy furball!

Don't come running

To me next time

Your stupid license

Expires.

No thanks to you and

That lousygolf course?

Oh, no.

"Heroic efforts

To save goony golf

"Have captured the hearts

Of spoonerville

And raised

A total of"

$50,000!

Just what you said

Your expanded car lo

Would make.

So, if you'll sign

The sales papers.

I'll take that worthless

Old piece of property

Off your hands and--

Dimple gums,

I hate to get personal

During a business deal,

But what happened

To your pants?

[Whimpering]

Grrr!

Argh! That does it!

Smearing my good name

In the papers, eh?

Bribing me to abandon

My principles, eh?

Well, I'm not selling

At any price!

[All]

What?!

The bulldozer rolls tonight!

[Doorbell rings]

- What do you want?

- Sorry, pete.

I'm refunding your

Money for renting

My bulldozer.

Met my wife

At goony golf when

We were both six,

And, well, i--

I just can't bear

To plow it under.

Gee,

That's real romantic,

But if you won't,

I will!

I'm buying tha

Golf course cruncher.

Gawrsh.

Now what are we

Gonna do?

And all the king's horses

And all the king's men ♪

Won't put goony golf

Together again ♪

Oh, yeah?

Over my

Caterpillar-tracked

Body.

[All chanting]

Save goony golf!

Save goony golf!

I'm a patient man.

So I'm giving you

Five seconds to scram.

And if I don't,

You're gonna mow me down?

Oh, I can see

The headlines now.

"Honest pete

Plows wife under

For profit."

Oh,

That should do wonders

For car sales.

Face it, dear,

I've got public

Opinion on my side.

[Siren]

And I've got the law

On mine.

Oh, you didn'

Call the cops.

Get that trespasser

Off my property!

Sorry, ma'am.

Being a louse is

Within his legal rights.

Aw, man.

Sorry, g*ng.

We tried.

Look,

Get the pictures.

At least we can save

The wall of fame.

[Sighs]

Got my mug on that wall.

Won the future

Policeman's tournamen

When I was ten.

You don't say. Come on!

Whoa!

Whoops!

Wow, easy, mr. G.

Huh? Well, if this

Don't jump-star

A gearbox full

Of rusty memories.

Psst! Look here.

That's pete.

But he told us

He was a golfing ace.

Klutz is more like it.

I plumb forgot petey

Couldn't hit a ball

If it was glued

To his club.

The very first time

He played,

The whole third grade class

Hooted him off the course.

He never came back again.

Come on,

Quit stalling.

Well, you heard the man.

Goofy,

Why don't you tee off

One last time

For auld lang syne.

And kids,

Step out of the way

So daddy can demolish

This worthless bligh

On our bank account.

[All]

Huh?

Darling, you were

Absolutely right.

Let the bulldozer roll.

Huh? Uhyeah,

You're right.

I was right.

Yes, a stock portfolio

In the hand

Is worth

200 Holes in one.

Glad you agree.

You're just acting

With your family's

High yield interes

At heart.

Absotively.

Of course,

That's not what your

Third-grade class would say.

Who told you that?

What are they sayin?

I thought they all

Grew up and moved ou

By now.

If not,

They should have.

Stickin' around, huh?

Talking behind my back,

Huh?

Well, I don't care

What are they saying?

What are they sayin'?

Oh, that you're

Tearing this place down

'Cause you couldn'

Putt your way out of

A paper bag.

What? That's a lie.

Not only that,

It's a false lie.

It's a huserfalse.

Absolute fibish.

Now, peach pit,

I believe you,

Your kids believe you,

But those third-graders

Of course, you could

Shut 'em up forever

By beating

The course pro

For the goony golf

Grand champion trophy,

But are you that good?

Well, I'll just have to

Tell the pro to forget it,

And--

A pro golfer?

He's here?

Right over there.

Fore!

Whoa!

- Goofy?

- That's him.

- The course pro?

- None better.

- I beat him,

I win the trophy.

- You got it.

Goof lips,

Old compadre.

Say, how's about playing

One last tournamen

For old times' sake?

Three holes,

Winner take all.

Ah-hyuck!

Love to, petey boy.

Mom,

Have you flipped

Your five iron?

What are you doing?

Saving goony golf

By turning

An uncoordinated

Lump of dough

Into the toas

Of the pga.

Max, you still go

That trick ball

You gave your dad

Last year?

Yeah.

Good.

Oh, allow me, dear.

A golfer your stature

Shouldn't stoop to

Position his own ball.

Now, you realize

I might be

A little bit rusty.

It's been decades

Since I hung up

My clubs.

And away we--

Ouch!

My lumbago

Must be acting up,

Or is it my old

Boy scout blisters?

Ahem.

But being

The trooper I am,

Neither a fractured

Taste bud

Nor a dislocated hangnail

Will keep me ou

Of this game.

Petey, what a shot.

Ah-hyuck!

Look at that ball

Boogie. Ah-hyuck!

[Pj]

Rad!

[Peg]

Awesome!

[p*stol]

Supercalafrocious!

[All]

Hole in one!

Heh, heh.

Yeah, well, I knew

I hadn't lost my touch.

Your turn, goofy.

And uh-1,

And uh-2,

And uh-fore!

[Humming this is the way

We wash our clothes]

Ta-da!

Interesting.

Now, I don't wanna

Spoil your fun, caruso,

But the point of

This particular game

Is to get mr. Ball

Into mr. Hole.

I did--the hole

In my pocket.

Goof, golf isn'

About having fun,

It's about winning.

You gotta show

The ball who's boss.

Watch this.

Gawrsh. He doesn't even

Have to hit the ball,

Just threaten it.

Lizard lips,

I'm impressed.

[Cheering]

Well, I guess I go

Another hole in one.

Hard act to follow

There, goofer,

But tell you what,

I'll let you

Use my ball for luck.

You don't wanna

Do that.

A golf ball's

A very personal thing,

Mr. Pete.

Pete, that's

Bad luck.

Now what are we

Gonna do?

Goof, as per usual,

You're doing it all wrong.

You gotta have a feel

For the game.

Now me,

I got so much feel,

I can hi

The ball blindfolded.

See, goof,

Nothing to it.

[Gasping]

[Pete]

Musta put some spin

On that puppy.

Gawrsh, petey,

When you hit them,

They stay hit.

Ah-hyuck! The winner!

I won?

I won!

All right, dad!

Yay!

Way to go!

The goony golf

Grand champion trophy

Is yours,

A new course record, too--

Three holes in one.

Well,

This certainly deserves

A place of honor

On the wall of fame.

Oh, I forgot.

Isn't gonna be

A wall of fame, huh?

No, honey,

I'm afraid not.

Come on, kids.

Well, thanks for

A great game, petey.

Wait. Uh, no, wait!

Listen, uh,

Did I tell you all

That there's new

Scientific evidence?

Yeah, just came in.

See, golfing increases

Fresh air consumption

And stimulizes

The brain cells.

Not to mention,

You also wear

Those white belts,

And them dumb shoes

And--

[Pete]

And kids, after you visi

The snack bar,

Don't miss our

Goony golf special--

A one-year pass

For a mere

365 Quarters

When your folks buy a car

From honest pete's

Right next store,

Where today only,

We--

What's the problem

Kid?

Can't hit the ball.

Hmm

565 Strokes

On the first hole.

Here you go.

Every kid's a winner

At pete's goony golf.

Well, he tried.

I mean,

We wanna have good

Customer relations,

And all,

And after all--

Ooh!

Ooh

Oh, mama.