04x06 - The Negotiator

[bunniefuu]

This won't be a easy course.

Now I have to be honest witchu.

Some of y'all won't
make it. You just won't.

You got to have what it takes
to make it in this class.

You wanna be famous?
This is where you start.

Okay, rule number one?

We don't start nothing
in here we can't finish.

Can you dig it? Lisa, pay attention.

She's not following the rules.

She isn't even a kid.

I'm so embarrassed right now.

I thought "Cooking for
Kids" was for people like me.

Oh, h*, h*! Baby, 'cause you
getting ready to get a gift.

You sure got one in there.
Well, I'ma let you stay.

You can just be my sous chef, okay?

My mother told me
that if you're pregnant

and you ain't married, then you fast.

Are you married?

- Nope.
- Vroom, vroom.

What'd you mean "vroom, vroom," Wyatt?
How you think you got here?

What you're gonna do
is plant these seeds.

In a few weeks, we're
gonna have some fresh basil

for my pasta sauce, okay?

All of you will get seeds to plant.

And you gotta get your feet elevated.

I see them ankles is swollen. Cankles!

But that's the blessing that God gave...

Dang, Mr. Barker, your
belly almost as big as hers.

- Your feet should be up too!
- Mm-hmm.

I know that's right. My
sciatica is k*lling me.

Sciatica?

Is that what you're
gonna name your baby?

[FUNKY MUSIC]

♪

Y'all did a great job with this basil

the last three weeks,
especially you, Raul.

I see how hard you work.

Digging that dirt out and
all that, I like that, man.

Big ups, you know? Know what I'm saying?

And speaking of seed planters,

Felicia, your baby daddy's here.

- What's up, baby?
- Yo, my man,

when you gonna put a ring on it?

No. Wyatt, don't do that.

That's not cool to put
a man on blast like that.

Demar, when are you
gonna marry the girl?

Yo, go ahead with that, old head.

Watch your business, B.

Mr. Barker was telling me

about some prenatal classes they have.

I think we should at least look into it.

- Yeah, look into it, Demar.
- And you need to do it soon,

'cause the way Felicia
look, she about to pop.

You got any advice for making bank?

'Cause that's the only type of
prenatal classes that I need.

- Come on. Let's get out of here.
- Felicia!

Take care.

I'm so dreading this trip.

If I had some rich white parents,

I'd be at their estate all day,

every day, butt-naked in the pool

drinking Snapple with a gold straw.

Well, you don't know my parents.

They still treat me like I'm an addict.

You know what it's like when
people assume who you are

and don't give you a chance.

- Every day of my life.
- I wish my parents

were more like you and
didn't judge people.

Don't get it twisted,
man. I judge people.

I had a aunt named Gertrude.

She smoked crack for four months.

Matter of fact, I sold it
to her sometimes, right?

Getting high all day.

She cleaned herself up, became
a devout Jehovah's Witness

giving out them books early
in the morning and all that.

But every time she come to my crib,
I still hide all my stuff.

I don't want nothing coming up missing.

One time, she bought me
a Gameboy for Christmas

and then stole it, then
helped me look for it.

I said, "Why do you buy me
a Gameboy, then steal it,

then help me look for it?"

She said, "I had to eliminate
myself as a suspect."

All right.

Whoo! I am so excited.

I can't wait to see
what Nonni and Peepaw

got me as my college gift.

Don't you mean us?

They love me way more
than they love you.

- No, they don't.
- Hey, please, stop fighting.

Don't make this worse
than it's gonna be.

- Okay? Get in the car.
- Not before you get your lunch.

I made yours spicy,

and I put a pack of gum in there,

'cause you don't want to be
talking to them white people

when your breath smell
like buffalo sh*t.

And yours is pulled pork.
I put it on white bread.

If you don't eat that before
you get up to Schenectady,

just throw it out the window.

Maybe a brown bear'll
eat it or something.

Might as well just eat it now.

Naw, let it marinate.

All right, go to the car.
I'll meet you out there. Okay?

You eat it when you get
past Poughkeepsie or Bayonne.

- Thank you.
- Josh, I made you some comfort food.

- Wow.
- Peanut butter and jelly.

Roll that around on your grill,
and I dare you not to be happy.

- This will help, definitely.
- Mm-hmm.

Yo, listen. I used up all
the peanut butter and jelly.

- I'll get you some while y'all out.
- No, you don't have to do that.

Alexa, add peanut butter and
jelly to the grocery list.

I have added peanut butter
and jelly to your grocery list.

- Whoo, that is nice, kid.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, since you add
it with the magic lady,

I used up all the bread too,
so tell her to cop some bread.

Alexa, add bread to the grocery list.

Bread added to your grocery list.

That is dope. That is dope.

Yo, Josh, man. Dig this here, man.

Them white people up in Vermont?

That's your family. Learn how to cherish

every moment you spend with them, okay?

Because at the end of
the day, they all we got.

- I appreciate that, Tray.
- And dig this here.

If things don't work
out, I love my moms,

but if you wanna do
some parent swapping,

my moms could be over
here in a hot second.

- Parent swapping?
- Yeah, man,

I want an opportunity to
get in that swimming pool.

- Uh-oh.
- [FUNKY MUSIC]

Hey, I just, um,

wanted to apologize
for Demar the other day.

He's just under a lot of pressure

- with the baby on the way.
- Felicia, no worries.

I was just like him when
I was his age. All right?

- This looks delicious.
- The secret to my casserole?

I take food that most
people would throw away,

and I make something really good.

See this tomato right here?
This was on its way out.

Now it's the dominating
flavor in the dish.

Giving food a second chance,

making something out of nothing,

that's my specialty, girl.
You know, it's the key to life.

That what I do, and
you and Demar will too.

Where did you get all this wisdom?

Kim Kau's Kitchen on Myrtle Ave.

The fortune cookies, you know that.
I be asking for extras.

- Baby! Baby, Fel... hold up.
- Hey, everybody, look.

Baby daddy early today.

Baby, we gotta get out of here now.

- Demar, quit playing.
- Demar, we are in the middle of a class.

- What's wrong, brother?
- Stay out of our business.

Felicia, let's go now.

- For what? Why?
- Th-th-the cops!

Th-th-th-they're after me.
We gotta get out of here now!

- Oh.
- Oh.

What the hell?

Guess he's not proposing.

Once the kids clear, we'll
figure this situation out.

For every problem, there's a solution.

Where is everybody going?

Tray, look what we did.

Now tell me, which one is the best?

And be honest, but
remember you live with me.

- [LAUGHS]
- Veesy, Veesy, Veesy.

- Yeah?
- We're gonna let you decide.

No, no, no, no. I'm not getting caught

in the middle of that.
Tray, you wanna tell me

why the kids left a hour
early before class ended?

Apparently, we're on
the run from the cops.

What? Why are the cops
looking for them, Tray?

Technically, they're looking for him,

- 'cause I didn't do nothing.
- We're trying to figure this out now.

Demar.

I got a warrant for a g*n charge.

- No.
- A g*n?

Why do you need a g*n
in the first place?

I got it after those dudes jumped me.

I needed something to protect us, babe.

Did you file a police
report after you got jumped?

Miss Miller, a police report?

My ex-husband was on the force,
and believe it or not,

we got allies in the department.

Well, can you please
give me a direct line

to the Ally Police? 'Cause all the cops

I run in front of, they're
from the Beat-Your-a*s-Now,

Ask-Questions-Later force.

See, it's a shame that our people

- feel this way about police.
- Man, f*ck the cops!

They was standing
there when I got jumped,

and they didn't do a
damn thing about it.

They just watched me, and now they wanna

try to arrest me for
trying to protect myself.

Demar, you can't run, man.
It'll just make things worse.

I can't believe you didn't tell me.

I-I-I wanted to,
but I-I didn't want to upset you.

Look, we just got our first sonogram...

- Aw.
- What're you "aw-ing" for?

- It's sweet.
- Now I'm 34 weeks pregnant.

- I know.
- So what are we gonna do?



- It's eight months.
- Oh, oh, eight months!

Oh, that album about
to drop! She about to...

[CLICKS TONGUE, LAUGHS]

You're wrong about that,
'cause Tray took 40 weeks.

- 40?
- And my son came early too.

So... so he got a point.

I'm sorry. Can everybody

please just stop talking
about how pregnant I am?

- Yes, honey, I'm sorry.
- You coming with me or no?

You can't run. That is not smart.

You gotta be smart
about this, man, okay?

You're young blood, man. You hear me?

You don't wanna do nothing
that you gonna regret

for the rest of your life.

Tray, can I talk to you for a second?

Look, I get it. Right? I hear you.

But at the end of the
day, that's their business.

That is their family. That's their kid.

Veesy, I gotta make this boy understand.

I gotta help this kid. I gotta
help him do the right thing.

I hear you. But they left already.

- [FUNKY MUSIC]
- sh*t.

♪

- Are you all right, Dad?
- Yeah.

Your mom is usually
here to act as a buffer.

My parents can be a bit judgmental.

- Hey, guys.
- Hello, everybody!

Come on in, Josh.

Well, come on in. Come on in.

Oh, my gosh, lookit.
Are these school books?

They brought some.

♪

- Oh, my gosh.
- Thank you.

We bought these for
you to use in college.

This is the exact one that I wanted.

Oh, thank you.

Here, I got something for you guys too.

- Oh, for us?
- Oh, Amira. How thoughtful.

Let me see! You shouldn't...

You didn't tell me you were
gonna give them something.

"Favorite grandparents."

Hey, you know, when you start college,

it's always nice to have the
latest computer on the market

to make your roommates jealous.

Well, actually, I'm
gonna take a gap year.

Oh, okay. Uh, sounds great.
You're gonna find your passion.

Yeah! Get out there and live. All right.

Wow, I wish you were that understanding

when I wanted to take a gap year.

- He was serious about the gap year.
- Yeah, right, uh-huh.

Yeah, I was.

Hey, hey!

It's my favorite niece and nephew.

Did you have to bring him?

- Hi, Mommy.
- Oh, darling. Mwah!

Hey, Hunty.

So, baby bro, Dad tell you the big news?

I started my own venture capitalist
company called Spring Eternal.

- Hey, congratulations.
- Thanks, I call it

Spring Eternal because
your money springs forever.

- Get it? Spring Eternal?
- Yeah. No, I get it. Forever.

Forever. In perpetuity.

Like older than Prince
Philip. Spring Eternal.

Well, Prince Philip is dead,

so you might wanna think
of a different sales pitch.

- He died?
- He's dead.

Come on. This'll take
us to the back door.

They'll never see us leave.

Where are we going,
and what is the plan?

I got a cousin that stay out
in Virginia. We're pretty tight.

Okay, are you "let's hang out" tight?

Or "I'm on the run and I
need a place to hide" tight?

I don't know. We'll figure
that out when we get there.

But for now, we gotta get out of here.

Baby, you're not thinking this through.

No matter how far we run,
they're gonna follow us.

And when they do, we're
gonna have to run again.

Is that what you want for your son?

Is that what you want for me?

All right! God, it's so
nice to get out of the city.

You know, maybe the kids
can take a swim later.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, that'd be fun.

- Good idea.
- Hey, Michelle's here too!

- Hi.
- Cousins united.

Yeah, sorry I am so late, everyone.

I hope I didn't miss too much.

Josh, before you say you
can't, say, "I'll try."

- What?
- Oh, no. Here's a good one.

"Small steps forward are still steps."

Why are you reading sobriety slogans?

Huh? Did I jump the g*n?

- Uh, a little bit.
- Did you guys not start?

Start what? What is happening?

Michelle took mine.
Oh, here's a good one.

"Sobriety is a journey,
not a destination," dear.

Is this your idea of an intervention?

Why would you say that, sweetie?

You kn... you know I'm clean, right?

Yes, well, we... we know you're clean,

and we're... we're very proud of you.

But just... just think of this
as... as a pre-intervention.

Hmm, well, that's not a thing.

All right, let's just cut to the chase.

Where is Shay?

Shay is in Europe working.
You guys know this.

Do we? 'Cause I used to say
Barbara was in the Bahamas

before we got divorced.
Remember when I said

Denise was digging ditches in Uganda?

- She wasn't.
- Where do I say Pam is?

Cleveland.

You know what? Shay and I are fine.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

- We don't think so.
- Nope. Here's a great one.

"If you are not moving
away from your addiction,

you are moving closer to it." Boo-yah.

- Oh, gosh, yeah.
- There you go. You nailed it.

Oh, yeah, nice.
That's good. That is good.

That's really good. You guys are smart.

You dug that one up. Have
you guys heard this one?

This is one of my
favorites. It's a classic.

Um, "Go f*ck yourselves."
Have you ever heard that?

That should be on a bumper sticker.

It would... it would work.
I'm gonna be in my room.

And, uh, you guys enjoy the grandkids.

Jesus Christ.

I think I want that bumper sticker.

[FUNKY MUSIC]

I hope those kids are all right.

Ooh, we should have never
let him leave with her.

Whatchu mean? She is a grown woman.

What we gonna do, tie her to a chair?

Ooh. Oh, praise the lord! Come in, baby!

Oh, thank God you got rid
of that felonious loser.

Ooh, well, speak of the felon himself!

You should've just
waited, just a little.

- Come in, baby.
- Come on.

- Have a seat.
- She needs to get off her feet. Can you a...

Get a chair, baby.

We're glad to see you.

You made the right choice.

g*dd*mn right he did.
If they can find white folk

that stormed the Capitol in disguises,

he gotta know they can find
his Black a*s somewhere.

It's all right to be afraid, man.

- It's okay.
- I-I-I ain't afraid, man.

Oh, you ain't scared?

You ain't scared of
getting r*ped by some 6'7"

dude that's calling you Gladys, huh?

Who mans is this?

Jaybird, I'ma need you to get Wyatt
and put him with the other kids.

Come on. Go this way.

I'm proud of you.

You made the right
decision, because, sweetie,

if you would've ran, that
would've been a mistake.

And now you gotta do something else.

Baby, you gotta turn yourself in.

- I don't know what to do.
- Look at this, man.

This my kids right here, man.

That's Amira, and that's Shahzad.

I missed them. I missed
their birth and everything

'cause I was doing 15
long, hard years, man.

We missed out on kindergarten,
recitals, tooth fairy nights,

all of that, man.

Don't be like me, man. She pregnant.

- Yeah, but I ain't you, Tray.
- I know you ain't me.

I never in my life
want you to be like me.

'Cause you better than me.

I can't get locked up.
I'll... I'll... I'll be



Yeah. You gonna be 40
if you go on and run.

And while you're in there,
we'll make sure, we promise,

we'll look after Felicia and the baby.

- Yes, yes.
- You can believe that, kid.

We gotchu.

Oof.

I know it hurt. But
when it hurt, observe.

That's the Lord trying
to tell you something.

All right? We all make mistakes.

But your mistakes is proof
that you just trying, brother.

Look at everybody around
you. We love you, man.

We ain't going nowhere.

That's how you make a
man wanna go to prison.

Boy, if you don't... come on.

So listen, look, if...

if I turn myself in, how do I do that?

I not trying to end up another hashtag.

You go out with your hands raised up.

Yeah, but don't raise 'em too fast

'cause they're gonna
take that as a threat.

- Move slowly, baby.
- But not too slow though.

You'll piss them off, and
they'll think you're resisting.

Look them in the eye.

But please, do not stare at them, okay?

You do not want them
thinking that you're trying

to challenge their authority.

- Okay.
- Tray, please, help us.

You told me that making something
out of nothing is what you do.

Hey. Hey, you missed a good meal.

Yeah, well, I had a
peanut butter and jelly

that my friend Tray made for me,

because he knows me,
and he cares about me.

Oh, well, look, I'm sorry

if that thing in there
took you by surprise.

All right? But we haven't
heard from you in a while

and it sounded like you
were just trying to avoid us.

I don't call because
it... it's hard for me.

I feel like every time I talk to you,
it's just a matter of time

before you're gonna bring up my past.

Yeah, well, that last
relapse you had scared us.

You're doing it.
You're doing it right now.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Well, let's try this, okay?

All right, now you will
say that Shay and the kids

are the best thing that
ever happened to you, right?

- Yeah. Absolutely.
- Huh?

- Yes. Yes.
- All right.

Well, Shay's in Europe,
and before you know it,

the kids are going to be leaving home.

And you're going to be by yourself

for the first time in your life,

and the thought of that
scares your mother and me.

Yeah, I hadn't... I
hadn't thought about that.

Okay. All right.

And you guys did all
that math on your own?

Yeah, well, that's what
we're good at, you know,

math, investments, growth,
looking into the future,

risky investments, that sort of thing.

Thank you for caring, but
your execution was garbage.

- Garbage?
- Yeah.

Oh, so if I'm listening
to you correctly,

you're trying to say
what we did in there

- has no legs at all?
- No.

I mean, drudging up the
worst part of somebody's life

when they're actually doing okay,
yeah, it's not great, Dad.

Ah, so... so the
pre-intervention was brilliant,

but the... but the exec...

- No. No, no, no.
- The timing was bad?

No, no, that's not what
I'm saying. It was all bad.

Joshua, Rudolph, care
to join us for dessert?

Well, I am out of
peanut butter and jelly.

Dessert sounds pretty good.

Mm-hmm, yeah.

Come on.

Get me a hand, would you? Whoa, my back.

- You all right?
- God. Yeah, I'm okay.

- Hey. Uh...
- Yeah, well...

- Thanks, Dad.
- Yeah.

Well, look, you know
where to find us, okay?

We're here for you.

[RADIO CHATTER]

If there is one thing
I know, it's cooking.

A recipe has to be more
than standalone ingredients.

You have to put it all together
and make a delicious meal.

And the main ingredients
in any meal is love.

I hope you're right about this, Tray.

[FUNKY MUSIC]

♪

And just like a delicious meal,

the individuals in your neighborhood

are the ingredients you
need to form a community.

♪

All right, son, let's go.

We might not be a fancy dish,

but when we come together,
we make a pretty good meal.

[SIREN WAILING]

We got Demar into custody safely.

Yeah, but what about those who
don't have a community like us?

What about them?

When you're locked up in prison,

you have nothing but
time. Time to think about

all the things you
did wrong in your life.

You look for anything and
everything to make it through.

Are you ready to meet your son?

But when you look
in the eyes of a younger

and better version of yourself,

you start to think about
all the things you did right.

It feels good holding
your baby, doesn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, it does.

Don't you have me bring
this girl and this baby back

to this f*ck' prison no more, okay?

- Yes, ma'am. And thank you.
- Mm-hmm.