01x07 - Foie Gras

[bunniefuu]

Whenever you're doing a caramel,

you swirl the pan,

or it will burn,

and then you'll have to

start all over.

And, goodness,

we have run out of time.

Um, I'm afraid

that is all we have time for.

But, trust me, it is spectacular

and very French.

Bon appétit.

And cut.

That's a cut.

Well, I haven't had

one of those in a while.

What happened?

My mind kept wandering

to my speech for the gala.

Can we do it over?

Especially with that trip

eating up the rest of the week.

Ah, damn it.

And of all the dishes.

Duck à I'Orange

is Paul's favorite.

It's okay.

I'll live.

Yeah, but it looks so festive

at the end, and Oh, well.

C'est la vie, ma cherie.

Oh, no, Avis.

I don't deserve cheering up.

I f*cked the duck.

Oh, excuse me, sir.

How about these?

You know, this is silly.

I don't know why I even care.

You're all set

with what you're wearing?

Black, I'm assuming.

I have

a few options I'm mulling over.

Still a little shell-shocked

you included me.

Oh, why wouldn't you be

at the WGBH table?

You're part of the show.

New York City.

I do miss her so.

Yes, it is fun to visit.

But, between us, it was

a terrible place to be a virgin.

Well, these aren't bad.

Oh.

You know, I did something

a bit reckless.

Mm?

Oh, you didn't.

We haven't spoken in years,

but we had a lovely chat.

What was the name again?

Elliot Astor.

Oh, Avis, how marvelous.

Oh, excuse me, what about these?

That would be a no.

Well, I have an idea.

Why don't you just bring me

whatever you do have in a 12,

and we'll go from there?

I want to look elegant,

but professional.

Classy.

This is classy, right?

If by classy you mean sexless.

If it were up to you,

you'd slather me with raw meat

and shove me

into the lion's den.

Sweetheart, you only get

to be young once.

I worry you're not

taking advantage.

Mm.

Let the people see them.

You know, most mothers

would appreciate

their daughter's modesty.

Most mothers are becoming

happy grandmothers by now.

Oh, God, not this again.

Please, Alice.

Can't you say yes

just this once?

He's a lawyer

from a good family.

And if he looks anything

like his father,

a cup of coffee won't k*ll you.

It's a big deal.

The Waldorf Astoria?

Wish I could go.

I'm not excited

about the Waldorf, Mare.

What's the shirt for, Russ?

Alright, you remember

my old professor,

Richard Leacock?

Well, he's setting me up

with another former student.

She makes documentaries

all over the South.

Mm.

I know. I know.

I know, I know.

We have a baby,

and babies demand things

like food and clothes,

but I have to try, Mare.

I need to work at

something I love,

not just something I'm good at.

Maybe it's just the fear

of death or something, but

I want to be remembered.

Fondly?

Or just in general?

Bless you.

That's, what, number four now?

And in the midst of cuddling.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

No, don't apologize.

I liked it.

It worked for me.

Ooh.

One more for the repertoire.

Oh.

"But it is my hope that someday,"

despite its essential nature,

cooking, like architecture,

will be seen by Americans

"not just as a practical pursuit,

but as an art."

Is it too much?

But I wonder if you need

to tackle the rebuttal.

The rebuttal?

The ephemeral nature

of the meal.

Versailles endures.

The mousse does not.

Paul. Gesundheit.

I'm offering after-dinner

remarks at the Waldorf.

It's not a lecture

at Harvard Hall.

Fine. Just change "cooking"

to "gastronomie"

and call it a night.

That is a good note.

You usually get hives

before you go to New York.

Is that more of the same,

do you think?

Uh, that's my guess.

One might describe it as an,

um, allergic memory.

My body thinks

I'm dreading the trip.

But my body is wrong, for once.

Come on, I'll drive you.

Oh, this is very nice.

I'm dying.

Oh, you've died?

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

If you'll follow me.

I'm good from here.

Thank you.

Oh, darling.

I can't leave you like this.

Oh, you must.

It's too

impor

tant.

But, Paul, it's just lunch.

Blanche Knopf at Lutèce

is not "just lunch."

Could you get me

a cold compress?

I'll get it.

And my diary.

Oh, eat a lot

of foie gras for me.

Try and remember

the sensation exactly

so you can report back.

Oh, of course, darling.

If something happens to me

while you're at lunch,

just remember,

I love you to pieces

and I hold no grudges.

Oh, that's it.

I-I'm not going.

See what you've done, Paul?

I

I'll stay.

Nonsense, you have your date.

It's for the best.

Really.

I'll see if

he can meet tomorrow.

Oh, no, we couldn't.

Tell her, Paul.

Go, go, go, go.

I'm fine.

This is too important for you.

To be perfectly frank,

the day was already feeling

a little overcrowded

for my liking.

You're an angel.

Let's see if they have

any chicken soup in this dump.

Oh, my goodness.

Foie gras with

dark chocolate sauce

and a bitter orange marmalade.

Is it hot in here

or is it just me?

I had it last week. It's good

if you like that kind of thing.

Is it as sinful

and insane as it sounds?

It's a little rich.

It evoked a dessert my mother

used to make for seder.

I'm so delighted to be here.

I just wish Paul

were up to it, but

Thank you, Blanche,

for the lovely invitation.

The room is simply magnificent.

Of course I've read about it,

but even before one bite,

it exceeds all expectations.

Who can see with this lighting?

And this menu Andre's wife,

Simone, writes them,

but her penmanship

Where are you looking?

Nonsense, I'm not a child.

Tonight's a very big night

for Julia, Blanche.

Public television's

brightest stars

from all over the country

are coming,

and she's a guest of honor.

Yes, yes.

I know.

I read the memo.

You know what's truly amazing?

"The French Chef" has brought

a whole new audience

to "Mastering."

Sales have more than tripled

since she went on the airwaves.

I'll have to check it out.

Oh, you've never watched it?

Truth is, I hardly watch

any television at all.

Well, I completely understand.

Paul and I bought our first

television just this past year,

and only because

I've got my own show.

There's something

transient and ephemeral

about television

which makes me leery.

I respectfully disagree,

Blanche.

There's no denying it.

TV is the future.

TV is not the future.

It's fleeting.

Airwaves carry no weight.

They have no heft.

Now, a book in your hands

Books accumulate

in the minds of the readers

who invest in them.

Gosh, I like that.

Well, books are a legacy

A legacy to be proud of.

Don't get me wrong I'm glad your show

is helping to get your name out there,

but we want that next book.

That's what's important.

That's what counts.

Just another minute.

Avis: Couldn't we leave that in

a little longer?

It's been such a nice respite

from all the complaining.

I can't breathe.

We can't understand you.

With the thermometer

in my mouth

Would you prefer

the alternative?

Don't worry, Doc.

I'll take the stick out first.

Well, young man,

I'm ready to make my diagnosis.

What is it, Doctor?

Tell me quickly.

Rip the Band-Aid off.

In all my years in practice,

I've never seen anything

quite like it.

I knew it.

I knew it was bad.

See?

You have a mild flu.

A mild flu, you say?

Yes, he'll be fine

in a day or so.

Get lots of rest.

And, uh, some more

chicken soup wouldn't hurt.

Oy.

That's it, sweetheart.

Now, be a good wife

and keep him full of liquids,

and he'll be better in no time.

Wife? No, no.

No, no, no. No.

Him and me?

No, we're not married.

We're definitely not married.

Oh.

Next time, you may want

to take the ring off,

you son of a b*tch.

No, no, no.

No, wait. No.

No, there's been

a misunderstanding.

I'm not sure where

you can find a print.

Perhaps at the Public Library.

"Integration

Report One."

Okay, I'll remember that.

I'm sorry I didn't watch this

before we met.

It all happened so last minute.

You don't need to apologize.

I would never have made the film

without Ricky's encouragement.

He spoke very highly of you.

But I have to warn you

Independent documentaries?

Funding them is

almost impossible.

I've nearly given up myself.

Oh, don't do that.

Don't tell my wife.

Oh.

Thank you.

So, what's your subject?

I don't know.

Not yet.

I just know there are

stories to be told

In Jackson, Birmingham.

If I go down there

with my camera

You're from Boston?

Born and raised.

The fight is happening

in your own backyard, Russ.

You know about

the Freedom Campaign?

Of course.

There may not be laws

in Massachusetts

that separate Black kids

from white ones,

but Boston is as segregated

as Birmingham.

Just go outside

and turn on your camera.

Tell the story

of the Deep North.

I'm embarrassed.

No, I am.

Thank you.

That's good advice.

Such obvious, good advice.

And I had to come all the way

to New York to hear it.

Public television is the place

to be doing this work, too.

I'm talking to WNET.

You get WGBH on board,

we'll work side by side.

Waitress: Ready to order?

Oh, uh

Okay.

What are you producing

for them now?

Now?

Um, uh, not much.

This show called

"The French Chef."

Oh, my God.

You're kidding.

You know it?

I've made every single recipe.

You work with Julia Child?

I do.

Is she really as wonderful

as she seems?

Yeah, I guess so.

Sure.

Can you turn up the heat again?

I'm boiling, Paul.

Well, then can you check and see

if there's a-an extra blanket

in the closet?

I'm freezing.

My teeth are chattering.

I could damage my tongue.

That's a good wife.

Can you believe the nerve

of that guy?

Why? I can see how he made

the assumption.

Really?

Well, maybe we should

get him back here, then,

and check your eyesight.

Geez, Avis. Me thinks

thou doth protest too much.

What's that supposed to mean?

You know exactly what it means.

Of course I know what it means.

I'm not an idiot.

I just have no idea

why you're saying it.

You're here, aren't you?

Someone had to stay with you.

Instead of being on your

hot date with Mr. Moneybags?

Astor.

Mr. Moneybags-Astor.

You love me.

- Admit it.

- You love me.

You've got someone

waiting for you,

and you'd rather sit

at my sick bed.

Do you want some water?

Great.

Go get it.

You love me.

Little Melvin's gonna move ♪

You eat very quickly.

Do I?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I guess I do.

My My mother

always scolded me,

"Alice, you'll be done

with dinner before

the rest of us have

finished our breakfast."

Well, you've got places to go.

That is a generous

interpretation.

No, I mean literally.

Y-You have places to go today.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Well

I mean, there was

a whole negotiation

between our mothers.

Lunch, not dinner.

60 minutes maximum.

Yeah, but we came back with 90,

and we closed the deal.

I wanted to meet you.

It's just, my mother, she tries

to set me up on blind dates

as much as she tries

to get me to go to church.

This is the first time

I've said yes.

Well, you're a stronger person

than I am.

Oh, so I'm one in a long line?

Well, if it makes you

feel any better,

I told my mother,

"This is it, alright?

After this, I'm done."

My first. Your last.

We have perfect timing.

Um, so

uh, you passed the bar.

Yeah.

Oh, she told you that?

And I accepted a job, too.

Oh, congratulations.

I'm going to be

a public defender.

I was supposed to take

this position at a big firm.

My parents are going to k*ll me.

Because I spent all this time

and money going to law school

only to take a job

that pays me nothing.

But it's a job

I really want to do, so

Well, I think that's cool.

Tell me about being

a public defender.

Oh, not until you

tell me about TV.

Working in TV, that's cool.

Oh, you watch?

"Perry Mason,"

"The Twilight Zone."

Yeah, I-I don't make

any of those.

Not yet.

Oh, my.

Oh!

I'm sorry.

I have just had an experience.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

Oh, Andre, how nice.

Hello.

On the contrary.

That was perhaps

the most exquisite meal

I've had on this side

of the Atlantic.

As grand as any meal

I've had in Paris.

Bravo, Chef.

I'm Julia Child.

But of course

I know who you are.

Oh, you do?

You're the French Chef.

Oh, well

No, you're the French Chef.

Exactly.

You are as delightful in color

as you are in black and white.

Oh, well, being here

is like being in Oz,

as well as in awe.

I can't tell you how many people

come to Lutèce

and ask for dishes you have

shown them on your program.

We're even moving sweetbreads.

Ooh, how spectacular.

But, uh, may I ask you

a small favor, mon ami?

Oh, yes, of course.

Anything.

Let's leave the real

cooking to the men,

or I'll be out of a job, eh?

La cuisine Francaise

is no place for a woman.

Not even a French one.

À bientôt, Julia.

It was truly an honor.

I'll get the check.

How long can one lunch last?

You can go if you want.

I told Julia I'd stay.

Not everyone in this room

would agree with that statement.

Why are you here, Avis?

Seriously.

You clearly don't like me

Clearly.

And I'm agreeing with you.

Nice we can agree on something.

Frankly, Paul

as much as I've enjoyed

your infantile behavior,

I'm not here because of you.

I'm here because of me.

Because, uh

Because I'm a chicken.

And not the delicious kind.

Your cold came

at a perfect time for me.

Well, well, well.

Your secret is safe with me.

I'll get you a fresh compress.

Thank you.

When Bernard died,

everything changed.

I retreated into myself,

away from everybody,

even my own children.

I honestly thought I'd never

find another co-conspirator.

'Cause that's what we were

Me and Bernard.

And then I did find one.

With your wife.

Hey.

You won't believe it

but that is what happened to me.

When Edith died, I was lost,

rootless.

And then Julia waltzed

into my life.

Well

The truth is, Paul,

it'd be so much easier

if you were dead.

Yes, I've felt that.

Well, I-I have

a very big family.

Two sisters.

Three brothers.

Okay, so you want six kids?

How How many do you want?

Not six.

No, not any right now.

Not for a while.

I have things

I want to do first.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, what?

Well, my mother

would not approve.

A wife who wants to work

instead of churning out

half-a-dozen grandchildren?

Yeah, she'd hate me.

Mine would hate you even more.

Well, you don't go to church.

Not even on Easter.

You're going to make no money.

Yeah.

Apparently,

you'll date anyone at all.

You have no discernment.

Oh, uh

that you'll come back

home ♪

Here you go.

And that's why

it's true, true true ♪

See me again tonight.

I-I have the gala tonight.

Then after.

Way after. Tomorrow.

I have a train in the morning.

Okay.

Well

here is my number.

Help me and let me know ♪

Oh, that it's all over ♪

I'll be home all night.

I will try ♪

What's the point, Isaac?

We have jobs in

two different cities.

It makes no sense.

But still, there's my number.

I'll be sitting very close

to the phone.

Waitress: Say yes. Say no.

I don't care.

But you both need to go.

We're closed.

Okay, okay.

You okay?

Oh, I'm perfectly fine.

Blame the lack of conversation

on a bit of indigestion,

that's all.

My eyes were bigger

than my stomach for once.

Chocolate sauce.

Right.

I'll talk to her.

That's just Blanche

being Blanche.

Though she was

in top form today.

No, I can take

a little criticism,

particularly from Blanche.

But nothing can dull

my excitement

for the day to come.

We have a gala

to be honored at, Judith.

Yes, we do!

And that conversation with Andre

has sparked my thinking.

Please. I want to eat

the man's food,

not hear his philosophy.

Oh, no, no.

He made his point.

I'm going to attempt some

alterations to my speech.

And all to the good, I think.

Oh, God, don't wake him.

You've been here all this time?

You're an angel,

that's what you are.

We had fun.

I've never paid

a babysitter before.

This one's on the house.

Just don't forget

to burp him in an hour.

Home early today.

I have to change

for the WNET Gala.

You were too tough on her today.

What?

That wasn't fair.

I disagree.

The woman gushes and flutters.

Shamed into it, I took a peek

at her program this afternoon.

She mugs like

she's Lucille Ball.

Careful, Blanche.

You'll be known

as our resident Luddite.

I'm all for progress.

A chapter a week, please.

Maybe I'm taking my frustration

out on the wrong person.

Meaning what?

You spend too much time

on cookbooks.

Blanche, you just made

an argument for them

today at lunch.

Yes, for her.

That's what she can do

The best that she can do.

She can write cookbooks.

You are another story.

It's one book.

It's one book on my list.

That is not the point.

I have been around the block,

Judith.

I own the block.

I can see what's happening,

where your heart is.

So what?

So what if it gives me pleasure,

if I enjoy spending time

with Julia Child?

Because your legacy

is Anne Frank,

Jean-Paul Sartre, and Camus.

You just won

the National Book Award.

Okay?

You are the preeminent

woman editor in the country.

I have groomed you to be that.

There is no one else like you,

except me.

That makes you an example

for all other women.

And you cannot take

your stature,

this opportunity you have

as a woman in this business

and squander it

editing cookbooks.

Let someone else do that.

Anyone else.

You cannot.

You cannot.

I have a gala to attend.

I'll see you tomorrow, Blanche.

Oh, boy, I'm lucky ♪

I'll say I'm lucky ♪

This is my lucky day ♪

I'm all in clover ♪

I'm glad all over ♪

I wanna shout, "Hooray!" ♪

I found a horseshoe ♪

Couldn't go wrong ♪

And then of course ♪

You happened along ♪

That is some dress.

Oh, thank you, Russ.

You look very dapper yourself.

No, I don't own a tuxedo.

Well, handsome nonetheless.

It's quite a crowd.

Well, it's not just for me.

Shall we procure a drink

for fortification

and then head in?

Oh, he's under the weather,

unfortunately.

Oh.

Be my date for the evening?

Absolutely.

You rang?

I'm gonna be late for the gala.

That makes two of us.

You're not dressed and

You're sick as a dog.

I'll be damned if I miss

this moment of hers.

But these cufflinks come

from a circle of Hell

I've only just now

become acquainted with.

I'll trade you.

You can help me zip up my dress.

Apparently, I'm wearing

something single ladies

aren't supposed to put on

on their own.

Good.

Shut the door.

Ladies and gentlemen,

our emcee for this evening

The President

of the United States.

There's

a fella named Vaughn Meader

running around,

pretending to be me,

stealin' all my best lines.

"Ask not what you can do

for your country."

That's my line.

Apparently, Mr. Meader wasn't

available this evening.

Am I late?

I was afraid I'd be late.

Oh, not at all.

And how lovely you look.

I'm so happy to be here.

Find your seat, Ma'am.

Don't mind me.

Take any seat.

It doesn't matter if you have

to turn around.

There's nothing

to see up here anyway.

Jackie's not coming tonight.

Oh, Judith.

He's very good.

I've seen him before.

Well, isn't this jolly fun.

Might as well kick things off.

To us, to WGBH,

and to

"The French Chef."

Here, here.

We're here to honor

public television,

which Jackie tells me

means television

that everyone has to pay for

and no one actually watches.

But I told him, I said, "Nikita,

I can't take you anywhere."

Oh, what are you two doing?

Oh, Paul, this is too much.

You're meant to be in bed.

I'm meant to be with you, love.

And Avis.

Avis.

Oh, you gorgeous thing.

It was a moment

of impetuousness,

and I'm already

having second thoughts.

Vanish the thought.

Guests,

Mayor Wagner and his wife.

And Congressman Hugh Carey.

And now I'd like to introduce

another very special guest.

She's the author of "Mastering

the Art of French Cooking"

and the host of

"The French Chef" on WGBH,

now playing

across the country

Mrs. Julia Child.

Just in time.

I love you.

I love you.

Thank you,

Mr. President.

I won't sing "Happy Birthday,"

if it's all the same to you.

Oh, my.

If you'll indulge me,

permit an introduction

to the "French Chef" team.

They're back there,

at table six.

Judith Jones,

editor extraordinaire,

who somehow

has found time for me

amongst the literary pantheon.

And Hunter Fox,

our general manager,

who believed a housewife could

make a television show.

And Russ Morash, our dashing

director and producer,

who actually makes

that television show.

And brave, resourceful,

ingenious Alice Naman,

fledgling producer

and one-day television pioneer.

And then there is

my very best friend,

Avis DeVoto

and Paul Child,

my husband my partner,

whom I hold in my heart

of hearts, first and last.

Well, it tickles me

more than you know

that our little show

has found an audience.

But I suppose the response

I still get most from people is,

"I'm sorry, what?"

"What does that possibly mean,

a show about cooking?"

You cook and we watch,

and then we watch as you eat

what you've just cooked?

"Am I missing something?"

And I answer this way

That what we're actually making

is a travel program;

that television

is like a window,

and the best of it opens

to the most remarkable places;

that food itself

is like a passport;

that the culture, the history

is locked inside the flavors

and the aromas that are

unique to each cuisine.

I don't cook for chefs.

I cook for other cooks.

For ordinary people

Mostly women, housewives

And I say to them,

you have endless horizons,

far beyond the walls of your

house, your block, your town.

The whole world

is your oyster

Quite literally.

And if you take the time it

requires to make a great meal,

then you may feel the same

sense of accomplishment,

of mastery, that I feel.

And because I'm not a chef

I'm not always

a very good cook

Because I fail,

they tend to believe it.

And so we go on

this journey together.

And that is owing to all of you

and your support

of public television.

And so I say thank you

and bon appétit.

Well, I have to

introduce her to Lady Bird.

Jackie and I are tired of

eating King Ranch Chicken

every Sunday night

at Lyndon's place.

Well, folks,

enjoy your main course.

You are a marvel.

And thank you.

Well, every word is true.

And you may relax now.

The speech was better

for Andre's intervention.

And Russ.

Thank you.

Julia.

You have no idea

how much it means to me

that you said what you did

Not just about me,

about what you do.

Oh, it's what we do.

Thank you, Alice.

One more thing?

Oh, I've been waiting

for this moment

for what feels

like my entire life,

so I know this

is a little peculiar,

but would it be entirely

unforgivable if I leave early?

I forbid you to stay.

Thank you.

What are you doing here?

Well, who were you calling?

Let's go.

Wait.

Well, I need to get

my blood moving again.

Ladies' room?

Pass.

Ah.

I'm going to the bar.

Refresh?

Please.

WoOoh.

My legs are ostentatiously long,

but I do get to meet

my table neighbor.

Betty Friedan.

Nice to meet you,

even over the shoulder.

Oh, Betty Friedan.

My goodness.

I'm seated in a lively

neighborhood.

I just bought your book.

Apologies in advance,

but I haven't read it yet.

The television schedule

is a hard taskmaster.

I'd be very interested

to hear what you think.

Oh, well, then, we shall speak.

You wouldn't mind joining me

at a seat over here, would you?

Otherwise, I may not be able to

move my neck in the morning.

Oh.

Ooh.

Lovely pearls.

Oh, they belonged to my mother.

Thank you.

Good evening.

Bartender:

What can I get you?

Dirty martini.

Make that two.

We're trapped by it.

Women are.

By the feminine mystique?

By its assumptions.

Well, that women are meant

to find fulfillment

in in in in housework,

marriage, child rearing.

As opposed to what men do.

Exactly.

And is that a choice, either/or?

Uh, well, look at the world.

Well, I'm childless myself.

But for me, I haven't

found that to be the case.

Well, in all candor,

Mrs. Child

Oh, Julia.

You're not a good example.

Of your argument, you mean?

Or to others?

Let's not have

this conversation here.

Oh, but we are having it.

And whatever needs to be said

should be said.

I don't know you.

But I have seen your program,

and it's not helping things.

Well, that is your opinion.

Yes.

You think you're

opening doors for women,

expanding their horizons.

They may be dreaming of France,

but they're stuck in front

of a hot stove.

Your show is 30 minutes,

but that's an illusion,

Mrs. Child.

Your recipes take days to make

and hours to clean up.

A good meatloaf

isn't enough anymore?

Now women have to prepare meals

worthy of the finest chefs

and still leave time for

the children and the laundry?

You've nicely raised the bar

on what it means to be

a good wife

to professional levels.

Now, see here

Who you have

locked in the kitchen,

possibly find time

for anything else,

let alone a career?

How rude!

And you have no conception

of what she's doing.

I'm sorry, who are you?

Oh, her husband.

You're not helping things, Paul.

If you'll excuse me.

Darling, uh

Was that necessary?

Not now, but in general.

You've entirely missed

the point of her, lady.

Mind if I join you?

Oh, suit yourself.

I saw you from across the way.

Thought maybe you could use

some company.

I'm sorry.

For what?

I enjoyed your speech very much.

A travel show,

I like that.

Well, I'm not sure

everyone agrees with you.

There are people in there

who positively can't stand me.

Well, I like you.

I like you just the way you are.

Thank you.

Thank you for that.

I'm Julia.

Hello, Julia.

I'm Fred.

Hello, Fred.

I know I should probably

go back in,

but would you mind

just sitting here with me

for another moment?

I wouldn't mind at all.

♪ I happen to like New York ♪

♪ I happen to like this town ♪

♪ I like the city air,

I like to drink of it ♪

♪ The more I know New York,

the more I think of it ♪

♪ I like the sight

and the sound ♪

And even the stink of it ♪

♪ I happen to like New York ♪

♪ I like to go to Battery Park ♪

♪ And watch those liners

booming in ♪

♪ I often ask myself,

why should it be ♪

♪ That they should come so far

from across the sea? ♪

♪ I suppose it's because

they all agree with me ♪

♪ They happen to like New York ♪

♪ On Sunday afternoon ♪

♪ I took a trip across

to Hackensack ♪

♪ But when I gave Hackensack

the once over ♪

♪ I took the next train back ♪

♪ I happen to like this burg ♪

♪ I happen to like this town ♪

And when I have to give

the world my last farewell ♪

♪ And the undertaker starts

to ring my funeral bell ♪

♪ I don't wanna go to Heaven,

don't wanna go to Hell ♪

♪ I happen to like New York ♪

♪ I happen to love ♪

♪ New Yooooooork ♪