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04x06 - The Magnificent Motorbikini

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "I Am Weasel". Aired: July 22, 1997 – 2000.*
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Series centers on I.M. Weasel, a smart, noble and successful weasel, I.R. Baboon, an unintelligent and rude Hamadryas baboon who is envious of Weasel and often acts as his frenemy, and the mischievous Red Guy, who often antagonizes the duo.

04x06 - The Magnificent Motorbikini

Post by bunniefuu »

Hurry up, Babu. You are 9 hours late.

I am terribly cross with you. Do you have

anything to say for yourself?

I must just-- Nine hours?Your

work ethic is horrendous. But I

ought. Do you not realize that this may

be the most important day in the history

of beachwear?But I are trying.

Oh, no. I will not listen to any of your

lame excuses. Here, just help me with the

talk.

No, you mini! It goes down here.

Now, let's get this show on the road.

Are you ready to break the world's land

speed record?Aye-yah! Aye-yah!

Let's roll.

Hang on, IR. We're about to revolutionize

the field of personal transportation.

Hold your breath, old man. We're about to

break the sound barrier.

I've done it!

I've created cheap, efficient

transportation in the form of a bikini. I

am Weasel. Yeah, me

too, I so... Well... Anyhow,

we'll make millions!

You can stop now, IR. We're done. Stop!

IR can't stopping!

What do you mean you can't stop?That's

what I'm trying to tell you. I'm being

late, 'cause I'm not being able to

finding brakes. We have no brakes. But

you're not worrying! IR, stop the

old-fashioned way!

Come on! Just

dare me!

This is horrible! We just keep going

faster and faster!

And whosoever digs a tunnel through the

mountain first will be declared the

winner, whether it be John Thomas, the

Steel Driving Man, or the Amazing Digging

Machine. Begin digging your tunnels on my

mark.

Ready and--

Look out! Yeah!Good thing I are

wearing helmets.

I'm the king

of the world! I'm sorry, boys. There's

nothing that modern medicine can do for

you. I'm terribly sorry. So get out of

here! Help bring me!

Oh ohh man, I'm good!

Just past the speed of smell.

Next is the speed of light. What

are at the speed of light?Any third

grader knows that after the speed of

light. Is

the speed of heavy. What after that?

I suspect we're about to find out.

Intriguing, we have traveled to another

dimension.

This is amazing! Were I not trapped under

six tons of rock...

I would certainly explore this strange

new dimension.

Ugh Crash-giving all your head aching!

You think you're hurt?I've almost

certainly fractured my butt gland.

sweet jumping mother of marmalade.

They're beautiful.

Umm Best hams in sky! Greetings,

non-ham life forms.

Congratulations on being the first of

your kind to reach our dimension. What

should I are doing?

Mother saying never to talking to strange

hams. WeWe are not

really baked ham. We have merely taken on

the shape of baked ham. Your puny

intellects could not possibly comprehend

our true form. Marvelous.

Not me.

Baboon, no! Please?We are not

real ham. Your puny

taste buds could not possibly comprehend

our true flavor. We will happily share

with you the secrets of the universe. We

will reveal the secret of the beginning

of time. We will tell you who your real

father is, and let you see the winning

lottery numbers for the next billion

years. But first, we will get that heavy

rock off of you.

Thank you. I feel much better.

well

We are terribly sorry, but we cannot

possibly share our secrets with anyone

who dresses like you. But I-- but this--

I am sorry. Bikinis went out with

positron bellbottoms. Ta-ta.

Hams being right. You are looking funny

with bikini on.

Well, I guess it could have been worse.

Who knows what those hams would have done

to us if I had been wearing this?What?