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04x03 - I Are Gladiator

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "I Am Weasel". Aired: July 22, 1997 – 2000.*
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Series centers on I.M. Weasel, a smart, noble and successful weasel, I.R. Baboon, an unintelligent and rude Hamadryas baboon who is envious of Weasel and often acts as his frenemy, and the mischievous Red Guy, who often antagonizes the duo.

04x03 - I Are Gladiator

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, Chet! Chet, old man, you

ready yet?Almost time for our battle to

the death and all?I'm sorry

reasons. I can't battle you today. I'm a

horrible, terrible cold.

Sorry. You'll have to find another

gladiator. Well, I'm gonna

get well soon.

This is horrible. There are thousands of

meat-thirsty Romans up there waiting for

a battle. And now they're going to be...

Disappointed.

You, the mule shaver!

How would you like to be a gladiator?

HuhGladiator?

I'm not knowing what gladiator meaning,

but if it's having word glad in it,

it must be good.

All hail the Emperor Gluteus

Maximus!

Hey! Hey

HuhLet the games

begin!

In this corner, weighing in at 10 at

one-half pounds, eight ounces of pure

rock-solid muscle and downy soft

fur, the reigning champion, I.M.

Weasel!

And in this corner is...

Aya, baby. Yay!

Choose your weapons and come out

fighting.

Oh, he picked the sturgeon. Ooh, this is

going to be icky.

Why?I hope it's

not cherry.

What you doing?Oh,

no! I am fighting you, and I suggest you

fight back. These people want action.

Hunter, catch you, Hunter. Oh,

I'll take you!

Stop! Don't making me use this!

What I are ever doing to hurt

Weasel! This is my job.

Nothing personal. Being a gladiator may

be uncool and barbaric! Hey! But

the entertainment deeds of the public

must be fulfilled!

Goody, goody! Oh, they're beating each

other senseless!

Oh, bravo! Bravo!

Oh,

Do it already!

I can't do it! Duh

I cannot harm this poor creature.

Good. Back to work. This is a battle to

the death, not a chili cook off.

play this man today. Ohh Well,

very well. If you will fight each other,

you'll fight the lions!

Oh, great!

Now we are having to fight giants!

No more fighting. We will use passive

resistance.

Just relax, Baboon. We shall prevail.

You know, this was fun for the first six

hours, but now it is getting really old.

Hey,

Carl, I'm bored. Do you want to go chew

up somebody else?Yeah, sure, Larry.

How's about Tubby up there?Oh,

yeah, he's plump.

When fighting is involved, Baboon, nobody

really wins. But if

somebody had, it would have been the

Lions. This is great.

Oh! Oh,

it hurts! I've got it mauled.

I'm no longer just a couch potato. I'm

involved!