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03x07 - I Am Vampire

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "I Am Weasel". Aired: July 22, 1997 – 2000.*
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Series centers on I.M. Weasel, a smart, noble and successful weasel, I.R. Baboon, an unintelligent and rude Hamadryas baboon who is envious of Weasel and often acts as his frenemy, and the mischievous Red Guy, who often antagonizes the duo.

03x07 - I Am Vampire

Post by bunniefuu »

What a beautiful night to be a

vampire. Come, my friend.

Tonight, we suck blood. You

must remember that vampires

never have reflections.

Ohh

Shall we go then?

Behold, the village of

Mudsylvania. But how we get there?

Simple. We turn ourselves into

bats.

Remember.

Not a baseball bat. A vampire

bat, my soft-headed chump.

We have arrived. The

Barnyard Club is the swingingest

nightclub in Botsylvania.

Uh, howdy. Uh, can I help you boys?

Good sir. Why on earth are you

dancing with your livestock?

We, we, we is too shy to talk to

g-g-girls. There,

thereWomen are often quite frightening.

There, there

Vampire! I've come

to drink our blood.

Nonsense. That's nothing but an old

vibes tale.

I only drink... Low fat canned

blood.

Well, I guess that's OK.

Say, this seems like an excellent

opportunity for the and the undead

community to show our compassionate side.

My half vit comrade and I will happily

ask real. women to

come dance with you so you won't have to

dance with smelly farm animals.

Uh, you'd do that for us?Of course.

For I am Wiesel. Bren.

But we must also clean this place up.

It's a pigsty.

This is the nicest thing anyone's ever

did for us. Humbaboon.

We shall return.

Dolores, them vampires are rat-friendly

folk. Uh, yeah.

Dr. Van Smilsing. The

famous vampire hunter.

Oh, that's right, girls! Would

anyone care to buy a vampire skate rock?

Or maybe some vampire jerky?

Uh.. All right, let's cut to the chase! I

know you've had vampires in here. Oh,

yeah, they was real nice folk. Nice folk.

Nice folk! Vampires are evil,

blood-sucking fiends. The only good

vampire is a dead vampire!

Would I catch these two?Oh, the right

stinks through their hearts! Ta-ta.

Boy, that vampire hunter sure was

threatening. Well, I guess we better get

a cleaning.

There, there Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!

Come in, ladies.

Uh, I'm Gertrude. Hello, I am

Hildegard. Hello!big boy!

Oh, no!

Gosh, I sure am glad that vampire hunter

never found you. What,

vampire hunter?

Vampire hunter! Now I'm

gonna put these stakes to your huts! But

my good man, these are flank stakes.

So show me. I'm

jacked. Victory is mine. You,

Sir, are a cruel, hateful man. Vampires

are people, too. Sometimes you must walk

a mile in another man's moccasins before

you truly understand him. We're talking

to B.

Oh.

Once you're bitten by a vampire, you're

becoming vampire.

Oh, it's true. It's true.

Give me a minute here.

You stupidest vampire

ever.