09x22 - Love Finds Jane Hathaway

[bunniefuu]

The Beverly Hillbillies

[Music]

greetings Mr Clifford hi Miss Gene you

know I never had a chance to thank you

proper for taking any under your wing oh

my pleasure she she's a wonderful

roommate and the girls at the bank are

just delighted to have her working with

them who am I pleased to hear that come

on in oh no thank you I just dropped by

to deliver some of Ellie's friends where

is he they're in the car you see there's

a room in my apartment building against

keeping pets

[Music]

foreign

[Laughter]

may bring all them Critters over to your

apartment no some she acquired after she

got there they're telling me for you she

sees one straight Critter it's got a

home right now is that all of them no

there's a surprise package

this box

I believe that doesn't oh hold on one

more one more what I don't know it ain't

hatched out yet

it is either a goose or a duck I just

hope it ain't alligator

[Music]

where are those letters

I ain't done yet Mr Drysdale I'm awful

sorry

I didn't realize you were filling in

from his Hathaway oh uh yes sir she went

to take some things up to my pal and how

is your sainted father well I hope oh

yes sir this fine and then oh my well

your typing is coming along just

beautifully just just get that Dear Sir

just one thing I notice you're only

using the small letters

well this is always Miss Jane here I'm

at the use of capitals are you familiar

with the capitals oh yes there's some of

them the capital of Arkansas is Little

Rock in the capital of

oh yes sir it is and capital Missouri is

Jefferson City but there's another

Capital One let me show you what I mean

now you push that and you press that and

you get Big D oh yes sir Big D that

stands for Dallas

what I'm showing you is the capital oh

no sir the capital of Texas is Austin

uh how soon almost have to wait me back

any minute now so I bet her and get done

with these letters

well look who's learning to type

and doing just beautiful

[Music]

this is a potential fire hazard you've

just given me a wonderful idea and I

just stand right over here see if I can

find a match

I'll get these letters out for you in no

time don't ever leave your post again

well I had an Aaron to do next time it

only may do it can't try she can't type

either

give her time someday she'll be a great

help to you yes if I ever need to know

the capital of Arkansas what oh never

mind get those letters

girl about as much use for me as a

supreme sacroiliac can't tie have some

short hands Kevin for violent run a

computer you can't count money she's a

totally useless female

oh my wife good to see you Mr Kravitz do

what do I owe the honor of your visit

well I don't highly reckon you could

call into honor I just come to deposit

some money well that's an honor and a

pleasure step into my office

[Music]

you did say a deposit yeah somebody sent

me check a while back and I clean forgot

about it I'll put it right there

royalties from your Royal Wells no doubt

it could be I recollect it was drawn on

a bank in Tulsa New York Texas winning

big places how much was it

I don't remember it was uh 10 12 million

10 to 12 million and somewhere in that

neighborhood

uh misplaced that thing again well here

here let me help you look

there's a hole in your shirt pocket

maybe it went in here okay

[Music]

appreciate if you didn't undress me

somebody will walk here

who is it

well come in come in

thank you Mr Drysdale oh Jen remember

that check that come to you a while back

yeah I was looking for that thing I must

have lost it that's exactly what you've

done while you were sitting on the

grinding wheel pumping away it fell out

of your pocket you found it Ellie shape

found it good good but he scampered up

the tree with it and I couldn't catch

him

too bad Ellie wasn't there that girl

climbed like a squirrel what happened to

the check well I've sent Jethro up the

tree to take it away from the ape good

good I'm coming down he dropped the

check and Ellie's raccoon grabbed it and

run under the house with it

granny one of these days I gotta plug up

that hole

is the check still under the house no

Ellie's Bobcat was under there and he

chased the raccoon out so I grabbed it

you grabbed the check no the Bobcat I

didn't want him to catch the raccoon

please please who hair is the check

right here in my ridicule would you like

to have it would Reagan want to be

Governor again

that's an interesting question what do

you think Jen you got me let's ask Ms

Gene what she thinks

sure I still have my first textbook I'm

typing

oh maybe it's over here

sure do hate to put you to all this

trouble Miss James no trouble at all

Ellie ah here it is

oh

can I take you back to the bank with me

in practice oh that's the whole idea and

speaking of the bank our lunch hour is

almost over

oh greetings Mr Finney you will be happy

to know that we are not cooking lunch in

the apartment and I'll be happy to know

we should get rid of the zoo it's all

been taken care of I assure you girl

collects animals the way you collect

books speaking of books Mr Finney I

wonder if you could possibly repair the

lock on this cabinet I have some rather

rare additions on Ornithology what's

that Miss James the study of birds don't

tell her she'll bring some home well

come on Ellie we better go don't bring

along any Critters as you call them yes

sir Mr Finney I'm sure I'm sorry you

don't like animals

it's all right I don't like people

either

today the d*ck Bremer Camp I want to

talk to you a woman are you talking to

me Mr Finn you know good and well I am

I'll come in here this little matter of

rent I want to discuss

[Music]

well I'm uh sorry I didn't realize you

were speaking to me you see I've

change my name what again what do you

call yourself this week Paul Redford

last week you were Robert Newman yeah

well Paul Newman and Robert Redford have

done pretty well with his name so I

figured it might work for me why don't

you call yourself Frank Sinatra I did

for one week did you get any work uh for

one week that Frank got a little uptight

you see I sing as well as act oh oh

great so you're unemployed in two Fields

three I also dance as a matter of fact

last month for a couple of weeks I was

Fred Kelly and Gina stare look under any

name he owed me three months back rent

really

oh well I'll write you check no you

won't I got enough of those to recap a

time this time you pay me in cash but I

lock you out of your apartment all right

you'll have your money today

I'm expecting an advance from MGM

MGM my grandmother

well when you get the money

you pay me first right

right

if you tell me about that blonde that

just walked out of here

her name's Jane Hathaway I've seen her

on the roof bird watching not her well

don't knock Miss Hathaway she's a basset

graduate and she's really got it up here

yeah but uh

I Like It where the other girls got it

you're gonna forget about her she

wouldn't look twice at a bum like you

her father's worth 95 million dollars

95 million

you want to laugh

he's living here with Miss Hathaway to

learn how to be a secretary you put me

on true story what's her name I told you

to forget about her one look at you and

her family put a bounty on you why don't

you get a haircut because this kind of

hair is in now besides who's got three

bucks

yeah she's here oldies now be careful

their first editions on Audubon

these are paintings of birds well what

did you expect I thought Audubon was a

highway in Germany

good piece of advice d*ck Paul Paul

schmull get a crater of Miss Hathaway

maybe you can learn something it's a

good idea Mr Finney there is something I

could learn from her well you finally

started to listen

look at the books this girl's got in

this apartment

the Music Arts poetry Birds right Miss

Hathaway is a true intellectual

you've given me some good advice Mr

Finney and I really appreciate it well

remember the overdue rent when the loot

comes in from ygm

why GM

your grandmother

[Music]

probably Mr Finney checking to see if he

brought home any more animals I'm

terribly sorry for the intrusion but

this is an emergency an emergency yes I

saw a Summer Tanager fly over the top of

the building a Summer Tanager yes it's

quite a rare bird and I'm certain I

spotted one

I was right there he is

[Music]

oh my goodness oh

still you a Lucy little beauty so I can

focus on a close-up

[Music]

he flew away

tragedy a summertime is of this time of

year it's

it's almost unheard of oh are you

interested in Birds oh intensely I'm I'm

a bird watcher well I had no idea there

were two of us in the building I I've

seen you briefly in passing I'm I'm Jade

Hathaway forgive me in all the

excitement I neglected to introduce

myself I'm Robert Audubon

well I'm a descendant of John James

Audubon

I'm marvelous but what an honor this is

please I

I don't like to capitalize on the family

name

I can't tell you what a thrill this is

oh forgive me this is my roommate Ellie

Mae Clampett Mr Roberts Audubon howdy hi

well I hope our paths will cross again

as do I Mr Audubon

Bob

chain

oh by the way forget my appearance for

the last couple of months I've been in

the Wilds of Canada and well I haven't

had a chance to get to the barber will

you by any chance in Canada to

photograph the almost extinct Ross's

snow goose

say you are an ornithologist

coming from you that is I praise indeed

till we meet again

Ottawa

oh uh nice meeting you miss uh Ellie

might clamp it thank you

goodbye

goodbye

[Music]

so she's terrible

so what

oh didn't you admire his intellect

no ma'am he's got so much hair I didn't

mean to see it

[Music]

greetings Ronnie what on Earth are you

girls doing out here at this hour

barely Daybreak boy we just couldn't

sleep we got some real exciting news yes

a handsome young man has appeared on the

scene Glory Hallelujah what's all

excitement out here this Jane has done

found a fella just like she promised a

real handsome Rascal Paul and he lives

right in Miss Jane's apartment building

oh we're so happy for you darling did he

pop the question he had well he ain't my

fellow granny he's Miss James oh well

that's wonderful news Miss Gene now

congratulations uh has he put a ring on

your finger yet oh my gracious nervous

club and I I just met him last evening I

bet you miss Jane didn't sleep 40 Wings

she was up all night right in poetry

there's one I rather like I I hope it

appeals to him well um let's hear it

owed to an ornithologist

well it's short it don't rhyme

no granny that's just the title it goes

like this

how to the Robert Audubon Kindred

Spirits are we binocular and lens we'll

seek Our Feathered Friends who fought us

through Meadow and through Lee together

we'll find that moment where when

romance comes winging through the air

with one eye on the Turner Joe and the

other of the manager

we're Rendezvous in apartment 12b

well that's a that's a real nice poem

well at least it Rhymes James gonna slip

it under his door no Elio I've been

giving that some thought that's that's a

bit forward

perhaps I should play hard to get you

want some advice honey

I'm sure miss G will get along just fine

you want to come in and have some coffee

with us uh personally I am much too

excited besides I made a very early

appointment in my beauty shop but we're

the best kid going Miss Jane I wonder if

I should have my beautician give me the

full treatment

you want some advice honey

[Music]

uh let us know how everything goes

[Music]

oh no what you mean oh no oh no one

could be Lovelier than you

oh thank you where's Miss Hathaway she's

at the beauty shop well how soon will

she be here well I'm sure he's getting

the fall treatment well that takes care

of today

yeah hope she's here tomorrow

Mr Drysdale Miss James wants me to ask

you a favor that chance what you mean

Fat Chance well he's an old friend of

mine Minnesota fat chance we used to

play pool together what's the flavor

well she wants to leave early this

afternoon so she can go bird watching

with her new friend no way

what another friend of mine no way

Corrigan well this friend of hers is

coming in to meet you this morning you

say he's a bird watcher yes sir he's

been up in Canada looking for a snow

goose I hope he gets it

him and Miss Jamie's just crazy about

one another

you can stop after crazy

oh here he is

he is Drysdale

there's Robert Audubon

then I am in the right office no you're

not I beg your pardon Ellie will you

leave me alone with this bird boy

there's a few things I want to say to

him yes sir

see you later

look Autobahn the name is Robert Audubon

Kitty I don't care if it's Robert

ottoman

yes I can Jay Paul Getty the billionaire

let's leave my uncle fall out of this

Uncle Paul just because he settled a

fortune on me doesn't mean that he owns

me

sit down my voice sit down where do you

bang oh London New York Switzerland oh

we have some marvelous Banks here in

Beverly Hills

Please Don't Judge my bank by these

cigars they were a present now I

understand you're acquainted with my

lovely secretary Jane Hathaway yes we uh

share an interest in Ornithology much

money in that it's the study of birds oh

yes of course my favorite subject and

getting back to one of my other favorite

subjects money you know that many rich

people in Beverly Hills Bank here really

yes you've heard of J.D Clampett

really yes and that lovely girl out

there that's his only daughter and she

is single why should that interest me

well I mean think of the possibilities

your fortune and her Fortune getting

together

uh Mr Drysdale money seems to be the

only subject you can talk about so

therefore our meeting is over oh I'm I'm

sorry I offended you what would you like

to talk about well I came to see if Miss

Hathaway might have the day off why of

course today the week the month you name

it she's a wonderful girl and she'll

tell you that this is a wonderful Bank

there you go again oh forgive me you

just slipped off I'll see you again I

hope

perhaps

I say how about this child joining Miss

Hathaway and me on a bird watching next

of course of course go on this night

definitely Nate

but who do the time

I will have fun children I hope you see

some beautiful birds

bye-bye

oh yes my dear you'll love bird watching

it's a very rewarding experience well I

don't know just a whole heap about birds

oh I'll teach you everything you need to

know

now first of all why don't you slip into

something comfortable for the woods that

is oh yes sir I see what you mean yeah

I'll go to my apartment and do the same

and and meet you back here in 10 minutes

what about Miss Jane oh well I'll even

know telling her exactly where to find

us where's that the San Bernardino

Forest

Roberts

[Music]

you found my poem you're waiting for me

please don't do that I'm tempting you

we'll see

making Call of the Wild Canadian goose

[Music]

what's going on Miss Jane

oh dear Robert I overstimulated him

I'll follow him to the roof and move in

for the k*ll

[Music]

well now it's time to say goodbye to Jed

and all his kin they would like to thank

you folks for kindly dropping in you're

all invited back next week to this

locality to have a heap and helping of

their Hospitality

hillbilly that is sellers Bell take your

shoes off y'all come back now here this

has been a film waste presentation

[Music]