09x13 - The Grunion Invasion

[bunniefuu]

the Beverly hillbilly

rally around the flag everybody fix your

weapons

I'm ready granny two or five he's going

down to the beach to help fight off the

grunions who's the grunions I don't know

what Mr advisedale says that he's coming

in from the ocean tonight to invade

California

ready Grinch where's your weapon right

here you can't bring down no enemy with

a slingshot I can't stop you can't

neither

[Music]

amongst ourselves we gotta fight

together again the Grunion who's the

grunions pal I'm the focus is fixing to

invade California Mr dry Dale showed us

the newspaper headline it said Grunion

coming tonight

huge Invasion predicted he was all

dressed up in his uniform toting the g*n

ready to fight it must be a desperate

situation on an old-timer like Mr

Drysdale has to fight

ah I gave a brilliant performance Miss

Thompson I convinced the Clampetts that

a state of emergency exists a military

crisis we're being invaded by Grunion

don't they know that grunting a fish of

course not

now if Mark Templeton dares quit the

Navy they'll brand him a coward and

never speak to him again why don't you

want him to quit the Navy because the

moment he gets out he plans to spend 48

million dollars of Jed Clampett's money

on oceanography research but that's such

a marvelous cause

anything that takes 48 million dollars

out of my bank is no marvelous cause and

that's the kind of talk that got Miss

Hathaway fire so watch it Miss Hathaway

resigned well it can get you fired how's

that I'm not afraid of you Mr Drysdale

one word for me to Mr Clampett and your

goose is cooked that's blackmail

you know you have a very unscrupulous

side to you

and I like that we could work very well

together so hide this newspaper

oh it worked beautifully

the clappers think Grunion are Fierce

warlike people from the island of grand

you load up the truck and fetch it

around front yes sir here boy place this

up front it'll Inspire the California

folks to see their colors flying really

I ain't just sure that that is the

official state flag Jan

this is Southern California

thank you

and don't forget to load up the middles

I got ready in the kitchen yes ma'am

Ellie

you ride shotgun on them fiddles they'll

never get to the truck yes sir

cook too yes

this is a wrong seat we might have to

live off the land like Mosby's Raiders

it would be

nice

look Chad who's that a common

strange looking Contraption is driving

maybe it's a Grunion maybe they've done

landed we'll soon find out

[Music]

it's Miss Jane hi Miss Gene what

happened to your pretty red car it's in

the garage Mr Drysdale had it

repossessed oh that ought to put it in

A1 shape

the car is that it's a dune buggy Granny

it's made especially to drive through

soft sand you going to Desert oh the

beach the beach

you heard the Grunion is coming yes

that's one of the reasons I'm going and

you're going all by yourself yes ain't

you scared certainly not thousands of

Southern Californians will be flocking

to the beaches tonight and pursuit of

The elusive Grunion well good for them

who's going to yeah the young ones are

loading up the truck right now it's a

good idea to stake out an area early by

Sundown the beaches will be dotted with

campfires would you like to come with us

miss Gene might not be safe for a woman

alone thank you Mr Clapper but I've

taken a little place at Malibu you're

welcome to make it your headquarters

fine and dandy together we'll learn them

grunions a lesson they'll never forget

Bravo see at the beach well Machine you

know how will we know your place well

it's a little gray shot that stands all

alone at the south end of Malibu this

dune buggy will be parked on the Lee

side but

see you there

[Music]

goes a spunky little woman

I wonder what part of Dixie she comes

from now you know she's from Dixie she's

spunky and she's defending the south end

of Malibu her headquarters is

Confederate gray and she's parking her

car on the Robert E Lee sack if that if

that don't spell Dixie there ain't no

cotton in Carolina

Here Comes Yemen oh Jen forgot the

medical bag

[Music]

you get everything yes sir Paul we even

throw it on tools and blankets in case

we have to dig in for the night it's

good to be prepared where's granny

you'll be out directly hurry up granny

let's go

anxious to hit the beat John boy yeah we

can't eat till we get there

you can rest easy folks you got your own

Minute

how about Uncle Jen let's go just a

minute boy before we start seeing the

battle with them Fierce warlike runyons

let's have a few words from our leader

oh granny you know I ain't no hand it's

speeching oh please Jed Mosby always

said a few inspiring words to his troops

just before battle come on Paul

there is Emily say

this ain't our quarrel

we ain't California folks born and bred

but I say

the state has been mighty good to us

and when the trouble starts

we ain't about to running High

that's enough talking let's get to fight

and eat

here we come

[Music]

thank you

foreign

[Music]

Miss Hathaway I didn't recognize you for

a moment how are you never happier first

vacation I've had since I went to work

for old Scrooge here for you Helen

I remember saying you'd never seen one

and these were left in my freezer from

the last run

so this is a Grunion rather like smelter

they're quite small yes takes about a

dozen of them to make a meal thanks ever

so I'll put these in the fridge down

before don't let me do it for you I have

to go anyway I'm sorry Mr Grump Grump me

too no in spite of everything I still

have a warm spot in my heart for the

chief where is he oh he's in the garage

auctioning off your car

the warm spot just froze over

what's going on in here this hobo it's

oh

I just sold your car for 25 dollars 25

what a car's worth thousands that was

the highest bid

what I did

where are we Jethro I think he's in

Malibu no it's Malibu or South Malibu I

don't know well which direction is we

going I don't know that either Jethro

you don't know nothing I do so you don't

neither I do

hold on don't you two start again he's

here to fight grunions not amongst

ourselves well I don't see nobody

counting g*ns me neither

it must be not malleable then Yankees is

going to surrender without a fight

how about we stop and eat go first I

think that we ought to pick out the

stretch a beach that he's going to

defend and dig in oh how about right

here I ain't defending the Yankee and

the Malibu

I think it'd be many Grunion coming

anyway there's too many people they

rarely pick out a lonely stretch of

beach for their Invasion Sam's wise

words Jim we got us a good leader and a

hundred driver

yeah let's stop there

don't you think we ought to try and find

Miss James Confederate headquarters

first you already see from the road

granny the sky along the beach after we

dig in

[Music]

man I don't want to do it we can hold

off them grunions real good from here to

eat now

[Music]

well digging makes me hungry too first

we gotta do some scouting

really makes me hungry everything makes

you hungry I think eating makes him

hungry let's try it and see

looks like we're in for a reason is they

coming no I mean keeping Jethro out of

The Middle

oh for me to throw him down sit on him

you and who else

now first we're going to split up and

look for Miss Jean's Shack granny you

and Jethro go that away Ellie and me

we'll go this way let's go granny put

down the vittles and what we say

put him down boy

now they're safe

please off Jim now if anybody sees any

grunions coming give the old Indian

danger call we all scoot back to the

Fort right have you got that Jethro God

what what would you do if you heard a

wild turkey call I'd sh**t him and eat

them

come on super stomach let's go

should we go Paul

just a minute Ellie I want to take

another look through the glass see if I

can spot any grunions are coming oh

[Music]

I think I see one what's he doing Paul

you just laying out their doggo in the

water out on this stuff around on a

little flat boot take a look

[Music]

[Applause]

I don't see him

keep it looking sometimes it kind of

hides behind a wave

oh I see him

you don't appear to be told no good

I figure he is a scout Ellie he's just

laying out their spine on us

Joy wearing much clothes

before those Runners probably have

fruits

don't you reckon we ought to

you when I should swim out there in

Yankee

Yankee go Willie we let them make the

first move

through this kind of check on him from

time to time

Franny and Jethro just took off down

that way to look for your what a

shame is this away yeah a little

exercise gonna hurt him what a clever

idea you've built a revetment for

protection yes ma'am sometimes the wind

becomes quite Frisk and cold this will

shield your fire well yes ma'am we aimed

fire to Grunion through these slots here

I'll Mr clappers you don't sh**t run you

don't oh you Captain by hand

I guess they're quite small and

completely defenseless don't they put up

no fight they struggle at first when you

grab them but they're really not hard to

handle and it just let you capture them

thousands of them were taken every time

they come in oh they've been in here

before huh oh yes for years and years

don't they never win oh some of the

managed to escape after the ocean but

most of them are just stranded on the

beach and you just keep coming back

practice every full moon

you know it sounds to me like Grunion

ain't too smart but they're not they're

the only creatures of instincts for the

tiny little brain

kind of wonder whether it was worthwhile

coming down here

enjoy it Runyan hunting is considered a

great sport

well they make a delicious dinner well

it Cooks good doesn't it well they fry

especially well of course it takes at

least a dozen of them to make a meal

that's not taking it home Paul it's a

matter of personal taste well I must be

dashing back my place is just over that

point Yonder Come See Me quick as Danny

and Jethro gets back well tally hoe

happy hunting all right Miss James see

you later

really I'm afraid we ain't in for much

of a script so

I'm that way

[Music]

said when you

stir pal

yep there he is

there is a forest boat Miller

that thing ain't got no sides and it

looks slick as glass

I thought during Fool's trying to stand

up on it let me see Paul

too late he just fell off them grunions

must be dumb as Jethro

really if Jester was to take his brain

to the Isle of ground they'd make him

King come on let's go find some firewood

[Music]

we must have walked clean to Mexico and

back we never did find Miss James shot

well it just happens that it's that away

around that point yard well let's go see

her oh no not me I ain't taking another

step on an empty stomach either feed me

or sh**t me you know a riddles would set

good with everybody right now I'll get

pissed Paul and may seen a Grunion

you did yes ma'am he's right out there

in the water Point him out to me Ellie

and I'll fold out on the restaurant oh

holy granny Miss Jane says that you

don't sh**t Grunion you don't

oh you got a hand fight him you're

Greening me no that's right granny

that's puny Little Rascals and they

don't towed g*ns so when they comes up

on a beach you just Scrabble what are

you doing well some folks take some home

and make servants out of them no yes

ma'am Miss James says they Cooks real

good of course ain't in your class

granny you can lump up riddles all by

yourself but it takes 12 of them to make

a meal

I wouldn't want them around the house

yeah what kind of crowd the kitchen and

it spatter things up in my teeth mostly

fries thing

granny you ought to see their boats they

ain't nothing but slippery boards and

they don't write them in too good

neither sounds like them runions ain't

that much going for him is we going to

eat or is we gonna rap we're gonna eat

boys Ellie's light in the fire yes

hold everything

invasions

sure enough Paul he under comes them

Grunion riding their little boat let me

see Jen

they must have claws on this thing these

riding stirring it up

let me see Granny

they short of boats pop someone's coming

in piggyback

you want this Jethro can I eat it of

course not and I don't want it

I reckon one of us ought to run down the

beach and warn Miss Gene the grunions is

coming Taco pop is a safe

when it comes to hand-to-hand fighting

I'll put Ellie up against anything the

island of grun can throw at us well

hurry back

are you gonna sit there and let your

girl cuss him do all the fighting I'm

gonna sit here till I eat something all

right

right here

you can gnaw on this ham pot like I'm

fixing the stew

I gave Jethro a ham hock no one was

there it goes on and on watch out for

splinters

[Music]

hey

just sent you out in the water riding

that little boat yeah

you are Grunion a Grunion from the

island of Brooklyn no

oh yes you are drop dead button defend

yourself look I don't know what kind of

a trip you're on but I

yeah let's have the truth hey you a

Grunion no yes you are confess now I'm

not a Grunion this is your last chance

are you a Grunion if you say I'm a

Grunion I'm a Grunion

I'm over here from the island of

anything you say you surrender

unconditionally

okay you're my present

I declare them Grunion has got to be the

poorest Sailors I've ever put to see

he's falling off them little boats right

and left where Jed you can't see him

without the telescope

why they is riding real good whoops

what is it Ellie this is a genuine

grunions from the island of growth

look at

here's Grunion what do you say to that

can I have no ham hock

no you can't now you get up you ain't

getting another bite to eat until you go

catch yourself a grunt now get oh

so you is a Grunion huh say something in

grunt

he talks American granny

I figured it out it must be close by if

they can get here on that little boat

scrawny little thing let's have a star

cold too

here this will keep you warm

are you hungry yeah man no no no she's a

girl

is a man understand yeah man no no

I'm not a man neither you don't know a

woman when he sees one

maybe they don't have no women on the

island of Rome I could explain why so

many fellas leaves there and comes here

well sit down little fellas I'll give

you something to eat

[Music]

excuse me ma'am is you a Grunion a

Grunion please just answer yes or no I'm

too hungry to beat around a bush I'm

hungry myself use a Grunion from the

island of grime we can go over Yonder

where Granny's fixing us a mess of

vittles and have us a greatest supper

you ever had in your whole life like

what like ham hocks and chicken and

gravy and beef stew and hot cornbread

You Name It We got it oh you're turning

me on does that mean you're a Grunion

from the island of grand let's eat

how are you doing little bunion this

chicken is wild

no it's just your regular backyard

chicken

would you like some gravy Ruby

on the island of run they call gravy

groovy

sure would love to get a look at that

Island

oh here comes Jethro and he ate

empty-handed what you got there boy

ready this here is a girl Grunion

well there goes the reason for the

fellas leaving you want something to eat

girl Grunion groovy

loves

that I could use some chicken and groovy

myself

well sit down everybody will Ollie

hi there I'm a girl Grunion what are you

I'm a boy Grunion

hey can't even tell each other apart

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

they would like to thank you folks for

kindly dropping in you're all invited

back next week to this locality to have

a heap and helping of their Hospitality

hillbilly that is set a spell take your

shoes off y'all come back now here