The Beverly Hillbillies
[Music]
look out to win everybody was flying
over right pretty town
that there's Washington D.C
anybody see the White House appears to
be lots of white houses down there
would you fasten your seat belts please
yes ma'am we'll be landing in a few
minutes you're gonna feed us again
before we land I'm afraid there isn't
time
you're done had four meals and three
snacks flying makes me hungry but we've
landed now Landon makes me hungry too we
go straight to the White House Paul I
think so Ellie quicker we give our money
to the president the quicker he can
commence fighting smog show our boys and
die for supper I'm starving Jim if that
boy takes his meals at the White House
the president's wife will never get out
of the kitchen I can help with the
cooking no Ellie I'll do that you make
the beds and do the Dustin and Jethro
you can mow the White House lawn and
rake the leaves but Ellie do that
Preston needs me for my brain oh cool
I'll likely be in the East room or
someplace sitting on his cabinet you
keep your feet off the president's
furniture
[Music]
looks like we made it the climate's on
here
see you at the hotel Shifty what if they
don't show up they'll be here any minute
I checked their flight how are you gonna
get past the guard I'll handle it it's
important for the trumpets to see me
coming out of the White House okay good
luck honey yeah yeah
thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
Java FBI hold up
what the president is waiting what is it
I need to see your identification you
don't recognize me nope good I told you
Edgar this was a perfect disguise see
you later hold it look you're delaying
high-level meetings now what do you want
I want to see your pass I pass of course
I pass by
how do you know I must have left it on
the president's desk I'll go get it hold
it now what is it can't let you in
without a pass is that your final word
it is excellent you have passed the test
with flying colors congratulations now
let me see now you are God number
16 Eastgate gets A1 rating the president
will be pleased now don't be surprised
if there's a little something extra in
your stocking at Christmas holy
if you have proven your efficiency my
good man don't press your luck I may
drop you to a B plus just candy canes a
bubble gum in your stocking just Beat It
Beat It Cavo one word for me and you'll
be guarding a government igloo in
Iceland
I am going to counter three if you are
not God never mind I think my pigeons
have just flown in from the West Coast
candy big how's the president's got nice
big yard too lots of room for Critters
reckon he's got a garden and chickens
likely out back
oh here's all our stuff here Mr Taxi
Driver thank you
now tell me uh what time is the next
public tour of the White House three
o'clock yes remember that I'm going to
ask questions later
Tell The President I'll be there
well bless my soul if it isn't the
Krampus what brings you to Washington of
all places
the present day we want to talk to him
about the smog problem he's going to
help him get rid of this stuff
a lot of coincidence it's just a point
of me chairman of a very special
committee for that purpose I'm ready to
give my money if I just knew how
another coincidence just happens to be
the function of my committee
I try to do my humble bit
shall I uh make out to check to the
president as a matter of fact the check
should be made payable to my committee
what's that
citizens against smog horror
there's quite a lot to write just use
the initials five
citizens hints
laws horror no shall I make it for the
whole 95 million no no that might be a
bit hard to handle what do you mean well
you see other public spirited citizens
not as wealthy as you might be
embarrassed and not contribute at all oh
well we don't want that to happen I'm
glad you understand give them five
dollars Jen lots of folks got that much
on the other hand let's not go too far
the other way a little friendly
embarrassment never hurt anybody how
about starting with a million excellent
just the right amount to get the ball
rolling that's one comma not not comma
not not DOT not not
well he's got a great head for ciphers
any
is a real lord head
yeah there you are Mr Honest John
I hope that Prime's a bump beautiful the
president will be delighted are you
going to show it to him at our afternoon
meeting
uh what time is that again my good man
three o'clock that will be on time I'm a
busy man you must know the president's
been pretty good pals buddy why don't
you take us to the meeting with you we'd
like to say howdy to him and he'd like
to say hi to you to you hi golly however
the Secret Service requires security
clearance will that take long do you
happen to have birth certificates color
photographs passports and a complete set
of fingerprints with you I know we ain't
now I'm afraid it'll take a while
meantime I'll put you up with a nice
comfortable Hotel
Taxi
[Music]
these are Daily Planet combinations John
well thank you Mr Clampett yeah let me
show you something
[Music]
here you have a magnificent view of the
entire city of Washington yeah ain't
that pretty ready look at me
this Jonas Jones fixes up real nice are
you ready well it's all right but it
ain't like staying at the White House
sure right they got a kitchen over there
where a fella can get a snack when he's
hungry
I think we get to stay at the White
House and tall
Ellie Bay
don't pay no attention to him Mr Honest
John he's acting awful pushy not at all
as soon as I have straighten out the
matter of security clearance I'm sure
the president and his wife well listen
you're a formal invitation oh my god
well you tell them that they ain't
taking in a family of preloaders we'll
pitch in and help with the housework and
the choice I'll make that matter crystal
clear to him congratulations to you glad
to do it see you later friends
Shifty baby how'd it go like a million
bucks
and here it is
one million dollars beautiful I can have
us packed in five minutes wait a minute
where are we going Mexico Venezuela you
name it flow there are 94 more where
this came from now don't get greedy
let's take our million and play it safe
maybe this is a chance of a lifetime
think big I'm thinking big we could get
20 years apiece
I got those hillbillies in the palm of
my hand they're grapes waiting to be
picked
how well I got a million for smog I'll
get a million for something else how
I'll think of something I'll sell them
the White House how how how
you sound like an Indian
that's it
you're gonna be an Indian
what it's beautiful I love it you are
the last of the Columbia Indian
[Music]
and that dear friends is why the
president is embarrassed to invite you
to the why not
you mean you don't even own a house he
lives in not so much as a stick of
furniture belongs to him oh that's
terrible no wonder he can't ask us to
stay I feel the same way in somebody
else's house who owns it the White House
stands on Indian ground
oh yes this entire area was once
occupied by the Columbia Indian
that is why to this day it is called the
District of Columbia look at the
government buy it from the union there's
only one surviving member of the
Columbia tribe and she refuses to sell
she yes the ancient to Noble princess
City Hall
Rock noble mean a proud and defiant
woman not all the pale-faced pony
soldiers can drive her from the land she
feels his rightfully Heights why won't
she sell
ing Hawk does not trust politicians she
says they speak with Fox tongue
who came to prison get her to sell a
White House to him Ivy chief executive
since Lincoln has tried Lincoln how old
is she
well no one knows for sure but at least
150.
Indians does live a long time
she wouldn't even sell the Lincoln
well she likes certain things about him
the fact that he was tall a simple man
humble honest I would say that Lincoln
and Teddy Roosevelt have come closest to
impressing princess sitting heart she
favored Teddy did she well he was a
rugged outdoor man she admired that she
liked his mustache she called him Chief
hair on the lip thank you
M2 was the only ones that come close huh
yes if there only existed a man who
combined the qualities of both tall
simple humble honest or rugged outdoor
man with a mustache you you're
describing Jen one who had never been
involved in politics that's dead who
didn't clamp and he's sitting right here
now granny I judge I think she's gutted
in fact no did you hear that Shucks no
it says everything is simple he's humble
he's honest he's tall and he's got hair
on the lip
he's our man forget it I can't handle
nothing as important as this it's the
Clapping when Andrew Jackson Old Hickory
was asked to fight the Battle of New
Orleans do you know what he said
forget it I can't handle nothing as
important as this
Jennifer
but he won and you will win history has
chosen you and you cannot review do it
Jim then we are sure to get an invite to
the White House well I ain't gonna do it
just for that then you will do it well
these presence my least I can do is try
spoken like a true patriot I will take
you to princess sitting hawk and act as
your interpreter you talk Indian I
learned as a child the tongue of the
Columbia Indians was the second language
in our home
how come well many moons ago my family
befriended the tribe when all other pale
faces were against them the Indians knew
they could always find refuge in the
home of the shaper it was nice of your
folks to take them in our name has
become part of the Indian language
synonymous with hospitality to this very
day to be taken in
is to be shapered
[Music]
look Chad I think I see her
is that her an*s John yep as she sits in
front of her lonely TP the last of the
Noble Columbia Indians the ancient and
venerable princess sitting hawk
sit there all the time day and night
Linda and some Arena shine she keeps
silent vigil over her property
think they let her stay in the white
house it's on her land on the contrary
why they have cannons to keep her up
well if that don't beat old tends to
keep out a poor old 150 year old Indian
woman you can't hardly blame her for
feeling spiteful
is that why she wears all that more
paint would you or somebody pointed
cannons at you now you have sympathy and
understanding for her cause
she's gonna like you I feel it can we go
talk to her now
of Alaska
Nantucket
pow wow
the Commerce how wow
she has agreed to a power Chattanooga
[Music]
choo choo
pale face Cayuga what'd you say I told
her you were very friendly good
hail face
Sequoia she says you're tall she likes
that
hail face
on the Rosa
she likes your mustache
ale face
Tippy Canoe
Shoshone too
she says you're a combination of Lincoln
and Roosevelt
that's right Cayuga over
hair face
what to me
no no patawatami what was that she
wanted to know if you're a politician
not around a farmer pale face
Manitoba
ah Tallahassee
she is very pleased tell her I'm a
doctor
pale face
Zuni
ah sutiny
she's very impressed
I didn't get no Tallahassee out of her
Tallahassee
that's better SAS
catch a one she's invited us to sit down
well maybe we better get down to
business uh ask her if she'll sell me
the White House property I'll do that
yeah tell her if she does I'll do my
best to shape her
take her into the White House oh yes yes
but Jim we ain't been took in ourselves
yet don't worry dear friends before this
day is over I promise you will be
thoroughly shapen
[Music]
she's getting help from the spirit oh
she ought to lay off sounds like she's
had enough
oh no she's contacting the spirits of
her ancestors who have gone through the
happy hunting grounds asking their
advice I hope they advise you to sell me
the White House first thing I'm going to
do is take them cannons away
yeah looking down the mouth of a cannon
every day must be awful scary not the
sitting Hall she is fearless even
General Custer couldn't drive her from
this spot he tried did he wrote in here
with his Calvary yelling sh**ting waving
their Sabers but she never budged spunky
little woman
a baby so impressed General Custer that
he called out courageous adversary a man
which has stuck to this day I'd call him
a few names
ah sitting hawk got her revenge she told
her cousin Sitting Bull
you know what happened to Custer
[Music]
Waukegan
what's that
the deed to the White House oh good
sitting hawk
Poughkeepsie
pear face wigwam
Sequoia
Manitoba she has decided to sell the
White House to the tall Talma oh I'm
right Tallahassee ask her how much he
wants for it
Uno alligate
and the spirits have arrived at the
price of one million generates a deal
Venezuela
write the check oh uh shall I make it
out to sitting Hall yes but include the
name bestowed on how by General Custer
that's courageous adversary sitting horn
I don't hardly have room for that
just use the initials that's the custom
here in Washington courageous
adversary
sitting oh
well what do you know comes out just
like the other chick c-a-s-h oh what a
coincidence
ain't second Hawk gonna get the money of
course but first I have to change it
into beads for her
here there's a Waukegan
[Laughter]
howdy we use a Clampett says here is
Granny Ellie May Jethro and I'm Jay
howdy
can I help you folks oh no thanks he's
all label-bodied the president is going
to say for us I beg your pardon can you
keep a secret I think so I put kipset
the White House from Sutton Hall
the whole food how's them give the
president his Waukegan
and he'll be right Cali hasi to get it
well we missed Saskatchewan for the
supper table hey can we see the
president now uh just a second I'll uh
see if he's busy
come over
[Music]
Frank at these gate I got four
ding-a-lings here
okay but hurry
[Music]
what'd he say he's sending a car for you
oh shucks we'll walk and he put a couple
hundred feet no no no you just stay
right here the president wouldn't have
it any other way not real Cayuga oh he's
very Cayuga
you notice anything familiar looking
about Jed
should I he's Tippy Canoe and Shoshone
too
now that you mention it he certainly is
being Sequoia and having a Ponderosa
that does it
have to watch me
uh car is here look at that big fancy
limousine
yeah we wasn't able to put on air but it
looks like the president won't have it
any other way
he's gonna get shafered in style yeah
Chattanooga Choo Choo
he talks it real good don't he come on
everybody
[Music]
[Music]
black hat black boots black belt bad
news for the bad guys Walker Texas
Ranger weeknights at six on the Hallmark
Channel
stories in
premieres tonight at 7 on the Hallmark
Channel
here this has been a film
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