07x17 - Jethro the Flesh Peddler

[bunniefuu]

come and listen to him a story about a

man named Jed to pour him up near barely

kept his family and then one day he was

sh**ting at some food and up to the

ground

oil that is black gold Texas Tea well

the first thing you know old Jeb's a

millionaire looking folks said can't

move away from there said California is

a place you ought to be sold and loaded

up the truck in the motor Beverly Hills

that is swimming pools movie stars a

Beverly hillbilly

foreign

granny sweetie beautiful job on the

floor beautiful I love your mop

love my mom do you oh it's a smash baby

would you like to push it a while oh I'd

love to but I'm running late probably

got an office full of clients waiting on

you lions oh yeah didn't Uncle Jed tell

you I'm a big Hollywood agent now what

they call a flesh Peddler

flesh Peddler yeah that makes deals for

the big stars then when they still

working I get 10 of their money well if

you're starting a new job you ought to

at least comb your hair

pull my hair baby I paid 25 to have it

styled like this they teased it for an

hour it looks like they got it mad

you're showing more colors on the Red

Rooster and a pumpkin patch love your

country you are sweetie I'll keep you in

mind for room parts

what's going on with that boy kid oh he

just feels sprag cause he got himself a

brand new job working in a butcher shop

butcher shop he told me he's going to be

a flesh Peddler well he told me the same

thing but he said that meant being an

agent

agent well he finds work and other folks

does it

that's sujit through all right

well let me wait here yet so I think

I'll call New York and see if there's

any Broadway openings I should get in

for

Pietro um Granny and me is a might

confused don't flesh peddling mean

working in a butcher shop oh man how did

a boy Genius Like Me get born into this

family of hasty when I give out my bio

would you mind if I said I was adopted

only I would appreciate it

your limousine is ready Mr Bodine

you did a girl that's right sweetie I

hired me a big mess of girls got to give

them something to do

refer any calls to my office where's

your office

I got the whole fifth floor down to Mr

drysdale's Bank building JB Enterprises

Incorporated what does the JB stand for

Jethro Bode

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my new employee incentive system that

you thought so little of is already

paying off I'm glad to hear it Chief yes

you know that secretary downstairs you

refer to as dumb bunny yes well she just

made a deal to lease the entire fifth

floor to JB Enterprises Incorporated

who are they only one of the biggest

talent agencies in the entertainment

field I never heard of them that's

because you're not show business

oriented but funny is she's a stripper

it turns out that she's got it up here

too she got JB Enterprises to sign a

firm Ironclad two-year lease fully

dressed

jealous

yeah read this and weep as a graduate

and after pulling this coup Bonnie can

quit her nighttime job

I can't even make out JB's signature so

he flunked penmanship but he graduated

magna loot when is he moving in this

morning I've just come back from

inspecting the fifth floor oh it's

fabulous I've had been working there all

night new furniture new Carpets New

drapes take a look at this special

drapery material I had created just for

this important agent

you you must have spent a fortune

not spent this Hathaway invested these

big talent agencies gross in tens of

millions by just their account alone

would be fabulous

may I come in

come in Bunny come in thank you pussycat

you're bringing 5 000 a month and you

can call me hound dog

yeah I was just telling Miss Hathaway

about that beautiful Cuda Finance you

pulled off last evening oh you caught my

act at the club last night

I was referring to that lease with JB

Enterprises and as to your nighttime

employment you can give that up now oh

gee I don't want to get out of Show

Business oh you're never out of a deer

I've seen you walk from your desk to the

water cooler sweet the way the tellers

whistle and stomp their feet just don't

know to make this that you wanted to see

me oh yes of course I just wanted to

give you this as a little token of my

appreciation

it's my view well it's no more than you

deserve I hope it fits I'll try it on I

don't know

in there

you're right Jake she's got it up here

why don't you take one back to your desk

and do something Earth shaking like

getting your notebook when can I meet

the fabulous JB when I do he's coming by

this morning so that I can personally

escort him to his new office

good morning

jacket oh very sharp boy that's fabulous

why don't you go down and show it to the

girls in the secretarial pool first you

and me gotta get together oh not this

morning gentlemen I'm very busy Miss

Hathaway I have some dictation right

I'll see you later

all the time I'm expecting a very

important man now go down to the Vault

and watch them count Denny's

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take a memo to all employees

Mr dry day 11 I'm supposed to see you

and I'm supposed to see somebody else

well that's life drop by tomorrow I

can't wait till tomorrow all right all

right just sit in this halfway's office

I'll get you as quick as I can

all mornings for that idiot to bug me

now where was I memo to all employed oh

yes yes subject

said don't be quiet oh you look great

see would you do me a favor anything for

you pussycat there's a big kid outside

now take him down to the candy store get

him some lollipops and Jawbreakers

let's see subject of memo employee

incentive system so far

what did she call

sounded like JB oh you know it couldn't

be

JB that's me see you later Mr Drysdale

Bundy's going to take me up to the fifth

floor and show me my new offices

[Music]

Miss Hathaway

there are some nitroglycerin tablets in

my desk we'll get them quickly

I didn't know you had a heart condition

I

take the nitroglycerin up to the fifth

floor give it a bunny and push her out

the window

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look at coming off the driveway it's

cussing right from back home

don't be scared of fat y'all I'll tell

him he's our friend

howdy granny Mr Clampett come in come in

I was sort of worried about that big old

bear oh he won't like you he's done

right affectionate yeah that's what I'm

worried about why didn't you let us know

you was coming Roy I'd have had company

riddles ready well I ain't able to put

my feet under the table Grammy I just

stopped by to say howdy why aren't you

going to be in town for a spare ride

more than likely but I don't want to be

no bother oh we're proud to have you

don't forget to fetch in the sizzle with

his banjo on his guitar

granny don't go asking Roy to play music

right off we ain't even past the time of

day yet oh you're right kid I'm sorry

when did you leave bug tussle Roy early

Monday morning Granny

that's a good time of day and now that

we've passed it let's hear some music

[Music]

thank you

foreign

[Applause]

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[Applause]

[Applause]

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foreign

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with some more music granny let Roy get

settled in first well I don't mind Mr

Clampett I gotta rehearse some numbers

from a record album record album she

wears Roy I didn't know you was what you

call one of them recording artists well

I ain't yet Ellie but this fella from

this big record company heard me last

Saturday and asked me to come out here

to see about it where was you playing

Roy a new crawdad room of the bug tussle

Biltmore

you mean to tell me that they have added

on to the Biltmore

he was the biggest hotel in the county

now they've built on a partial Second

Story

every Saturday night of playing bug

tussle then during the week I played a

small town

now you're gonna make records the deal

ain't set yet granny what I need is an

agent to Dicker for me well Jethro is a

agent yeah what they call a fresh

Peddler well I'm not a lot to Pedal

let's all go down and see the boy where

is he he's on the whole fifth floor of

Mr drysdale's Bank building

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well dogs would you look at that

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this Jethro's agency

that's what the JB stands for Jethro

Bode oh and I think I know him when he

was just a country boy like me

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you rang JP yeah bunny honey is there

any big stars waiting to see me

not yet JP

and a big name producers or directors no

JB

yeah okay don't let nobody in to see me

Lester's got a big name like um

Elizabeth Taylor or sir Lawrence Olivier

huh right JP

M wow thanks folks I recognize some of

the stars that works for Jethro well I

don't see no Biggins like Buck Jones and

pearl white well there's some famous

ones here I bet Jethro won't want to

mess with me

oh a lot of man oh you want to get those

famous doors not yet I'm working as

receptionist till he signs me to a

million dollar deal

boy's a star maker let's go and see him

wait a minute JB only sees people with

big names like Elizabeth Taylor and Sir

Lawrence Olivier

I reckon that lets us out his name's Roy

mine's Jed granny Ellie and one really

big name in the Bible

that's too bad

well my full name is yelling my Margaret

that's a big one I'm telling you

Excuse Me JB some people to see you

any big names

just one Ellie Mae Margaret the others

are Jed Roy and Granny

that's my

phone hey Steve's clutter up my office

blush them off for me

I'm talking about the Hollywood version

oh let him in I'll show you how it's

done

hahaha JB we'll see you now

all of us yeah

sweethearts lovers baby dolls this is a

real great thrill you are one of my

favorite all-time families I just love

you I wish I could sit down and talk

over all times but my calendar's full up

call me the next time you come into town

and we'll get together at my club real

nice seeing you now come on

I know you're busy but uh Roy here needs

an agent

all right sweetie I didn't see you there

just love your rap call the Morris

office tell them I recommended you I

figured you'd be too big for me yeah

that's a picture sweetie just ain't got

room for you in the stable he ain't

gonna sleep in no stable he's got a room

at our house

I just love your whip granny baby rude

and colorful well they ain't got no more

time for this year's small talk I can't

keep the whole entertainment industry

waiting time is money just theatrical

Geniuses come on

now I'm getting too big for your

Mr theatrical genius you're headed for a

fall that's what they said about Flo

ziegfelt but she showed them

you gotta admit granny the boy knows the

show business

thank you

oh very close Chief you did a beautiful

job redecorating this look yes it cost

me a fortune and I'll never click the

plenty of rent from JD boy Genius yeah

that's a very impressive sign

see wait a minute

maybe I can rent this floor to Jack

Benny what do you think you'll pay about

what you're getting now

pussycat how do you pass away

what are you doing here your desk is on

the first floor well I work for JB now

then give me back that 200 suit I bought

you okay

okay come to the club tonight and I'll

toss it to you from the stage never mind

I want to see the boy genius oh he only

sees big names you see yours is

Melbourne

and mine is Jane oh you'll never get in

you're just a four-letter word

pussycat that's a big one

pussycat drives us here to see you JB

make it snappy boys again I'm putting a

sharp edge to my golf game in case Bing

or Bob or Dean will call us and wants to

hit a few ba*ls over the net

Jethro you're holding the club wrong why

don't you try hitting the ball with the

head down and flatten out this 25 hour

hairdo

Jethro you don't want to be a theatrical

agent why don't you go back to being a

brain surgeon or A Streetcar conductor

are you kid do you ever see A Streetcar

conduct your dress this sharp the best

he can wear is shiny blue Surge and a

nickel squirter well Rangers dressed

very nicely

yeah can a brain surgeon call Sophie

Lauren in Rome and wrap up a big picture

deal can you

hit me Sophie Lauren in Rome right

yeah honey like water oh I hate I just

signed for everything but eventually

Arlo's bills will have to be paid for

well she can't sweetheart I'm gonna be

rolling in money look at here and I'll

show you just what one deal can net me

now let's say that I get Sophie a

million for her next picture

one me that's one comma knock knock

knock

two more not

thanks now I get 10 of that so it puts

the 10 under the million and cyphers it

not times not is not not not

and one times not one times one

I done made myself ten million dollars

client gets one million and you get 10

million what's he care that's what makes

it such a great business

ready on your call to Sophia Lauren in

Rome

the thing I learned how to talk I'll

tell you I'll speak to her in her native

language

hello

hello

had some trouble with these overseas

calls the cable's always breaking yes

bro have you got any real clients at all

that was awkward cousin Roy Halsey I've

heard him he's great take my advice

sweetheart stay out of Show Business

stick to wrapping them quarters you

don't think Roy has any Talent He's

Country baby he's strictly for bug

tussle I'm the Jet Set agent New York

London Rome Paris that's my bag

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oh Roy Granny says the village is ready

well tell her no thanks Mr Clampett I

don't feel much like eating uh where are

you going back to bug tussle Where I

Belong I ain't good enough for Hollywood

well who says only the biggest agent of

them all JB himself he wouldn't take 10

of me as a gift I don't pay no attention

to Jethro he says giddy up to his mouth

for his mind is his step two but one of

the biggest flesh pedal of all on pit of

your flesh it's time to haul it home

well uh what about that fella that seen

you back there at the bug tussle

Biltmore and asked you to come out here

and make records They probably caught

him and took him back to the funny farm

don't set a place for me granny oh but

Roy I made your favorite dish cobbler

groundhog gravy and show kittens thanks

granny but I just wind up with a lot

more flesh nobody could pedal well he's

going back home because gestro won't

take 10 of them the only thing that

boy's got ten percent of is a brain I'm

sorry granny my mind's made up I don't

said goodbye to hell to me

oh

Jethro's right my speed is the bug

tussle build

Bill

Bill

I'm also sorry to hear you going back

home you are sure enough I am well I was

hoping you'd take me along when you went

to make your recording you what sure

enough what

I just love to hear you perform you do

sure enough do

it just turns me on

it does it's sure enough duh

oh call Holly

God oh boy you rascal you sure know how

to sweet talk a girl

boy how about yours what you gonna put

on that record all right stand back turn

me loose here it comes

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thank you

foreign

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of their Hospitality

hillbilly that is Sarah's Bell take your

shoes off y'all come back now here this

has been a film waste presentation

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