05x25 - The Legend of Big Butt

[bunniefuu]

Hello. I am Weasel here, famed scientist,

noted paranormalist, and small furry

mammal. Welcome to another episode of

Searching for Lost Legends. And quite

like that. And as always, I'd like to

introduce you to my lovely assistant, IR

Baboon. Baboon. Could you bring me my

hot chocolate, please?Thank you, lovely

assistant. Hey,

this cup's empty. You didn't drink any,

did you?No. Hmm

Looks like I may be searching for a new

lovely assistant. Just kidding.

Tonight's show takes place high in the

Himalayas in search of the legendary Big

Butt. Roll the film, Warren. The

Himalayas. The top of the world. Poking



if to say, Hey, I'm one big mountain,

Jack. Our quest for big butt began at the

base of the big mountain that the locals

reverently referred to as that big

mountain, where I negotiated for the

services of a local Sherpa and his yak.

Hello, Mr. Sherpa. I'd like to hire you

and your yak to take us up the Himalayas

in search of-- Hey! Wait a minute!

What makes you think I work for the

Sherpa?He works for me!

Uh, you are just like all the... We are

the ones hauling your junk up that lousy

mountain. Not the Sherpas! Just look at

those snowshoes, tennis rackets strapped

to his feet! Go ahead, hire the

genius Sherpa! I dare ya!

I decided to let my lovely assistant be

my guide and carry our load.

Base Camp One. We were pretty high up,

so I tried out my Big Butt Finder

tracking device that I invented to see if

Big Butt was near. At

least it proves it works. Later, we

discovered our first clue: Big Butt

prints in the snow.

Actual Big Butt sightings have been rare.

There was Sir Edmund Hillary's close

encounter with Big Butt on his Everest

expedition. And Tenzik Norgay found a

big butt in his house when returning home

from the same climb. It turned out to be

Tenzik's wife. This hiney

print convinces me of the veracity of the

big butt sightings. Nothing will stop me

now, for I am Weasel,

paranormalist extraordinaire. Now lean

on, lovely guy Babu.

Our search was wrought with danger. Icy

chasms with 10,000-foot drops had to be

crossed. watching

this.

Oops.

After the hospital stay and three months

of rehabilitation, we resumed our

Himalayan quest for Big Butt. As we

climbed, we encountered other various

legends. Baboon, look, it's

Bigfoot.

Big eye, this is getting stupid.

Near the summit, we once again

encountered big butt prints. These

butt tracks are still warm, and they lead

right into that icy cave. As I approached

the lair of the enigmatic, large, hineyed

creature, I felt the heroic tension of

this about-to-happen groundbreaking

moment, a colliding of worlds, as it

were. Hey, Baboon, I'm about to get

profound. Come on over and enjoy it with

me. I am on the cusp of dramatic

discovery, on par with Edison and his

light bulb. and Einstein when he

discovered the chalk he had lost and

wrote E equals MC squared with it. I gaze

into ye, oh icy cavern, yet another of

the universe's mysteries to be felled by

the shiny acts of science. Baboon,

don't you want to share this magic moment

with me?I are being too cold

to sharing nothing magic. Well, why is

that snowman wearing your coat?'Cause

he's looking so cold, I are feeling sorry

for him. Quick, toss me my

camera. Thank you.

You're welcome. Camera ready. I enter the

lair of the legendary Big Butt. Oh!

Surprised?

Big Butt?You're not Big Butt.

He's too kind. I'm ready for some

pictures to be taken of me so I can be

famous. Come on,

film my melon.

I am very disappointed that this whole

thing is a hoax. perpetrated by a tubby,

red, pantsless fraud. Uh,

B?Why?Why did you do this?

I did all to get a little attention. Is

that a crime?My papa was

Bigfoot. He got lots of attention! Then

one day, he went out for milk when I was

nine, and he never gave back!

Don't cry. I have someone I want you to

meet. Oh,

Papa! I'm so happy! I can't

believe it's you! So did you get the

milk?That's almost a touching

moment. Well, Baboon, looks like another

legend is a frog. Let's go to Scotland

and search for that Loch Ness monster and

see if that's real. Loch Ness, the

prehistoric loch. and the legendary home

of Nessie.

Nessie! Baboon! It's Nessie! She's

real! What?

Ay! Ay! Ay! Bink me! This is the big

moment. Finally, I'm going to discover

something truly amazing.

Him again?My life's work is ruined!

Nothing is

real! Ay!I picked the wrong line

of work. Why didn't I just listen to mom

and become an accountant?Uh, BJ?

Now, Bev, can't you see I'm having a

breakdown?I'm a failure.

Everything is a hoax. Uh,

the Abandonable Snowman, Santy Claus,

Pete Cavani, Tooth Fairy, Flying

Saucer, and Nesty is here. Yeah,

right, and the king and queen of cheese

directs my show. Oh,

God.