01x04 - Pretty in Stink

[bunniefuu]

Ace McFumbles here.

The question on the minds of
the Bulldogs' sports fans is

can new quarterback sensation
Bella "Awesome" Dawson

continue her winning ways?

In the words of Dawson
herself, "Sha-booyah!"

In social news, the question
on everyone else's mind...

who will this reporter be
taking to Friday's big dance?

Ha. Sorry, ladies, I'm working.

Bella, you are not gonna believe this.

Pepper, go!

I heard from Chloe
who got a text from Zoey

who sits next to Katie who
heard in the girls' room

from Sadie who does gym with Courtney

who said Kyle thinks you're cute!

Kyle thinks I'm cute?

My Kyle? That Kyle?

[Romantic musical flourish]

Yes! That Kyle!

The same Kyle you've been
crushing on since 6th grade.

Hey, Bella.

Oh, hey, Kyle.

Great speech in Social Studies.

Oh, Bella, got a little
spinach in the grill.

Hey, Kyle, my locker's stuck.

Can you help me?

Uh, yeah. No problem, Charlotte.

- See ya, Bella.
- Hm.

Charlotte Newman!

If it hadn't been for her
and those stupid braces.

And that salad bar.

And Charlotte's locker
which you know was not stuck.

We would have finally had our moment.

Well, your moment has come at last.

Tonight, we're gonna do your hair,

get your mani-pedi ready,
pick out your cutest outfit,

and floss you like crazy.

And when you walk into school tomorrow,

you're gonna look all...

[Heavenly choir music]

- The choir sounds great.
- Yeah.

You're right. This time
it's going to be different.

I finally have my dream
of being quarterback.

- Mm
- Hm.

The guys are starting to accept me.

Now I only wear my retainer at night.

And Kyle thinks you're cute.

- Bella: Oooh...
- Sophie: ♪ Go, Bella ♪

Pepper & Sophie: ♪
Go, Bella, go, Bella ♪

♪ And say what ♪

Both: ♪ Go, Bella, go, Bella ♪

♪ Go, Bella, go, Bella ♪

- Someone's third
- Person struttin'

and The Troy knows why.

Wait. What'd you hear?

Did you talk to Zoey, Chloe, or Katie?

Ugh, I am so done with Katie.

She knows what she did.

I'm talking about

how we're playing the
Stallions on Saturday.

We've crushed them for five
years straight, which means...

Another win for the Bulldogs!

- All: Hoo
- Rah!

That's right.

All we've gotta do is
follow the sacred ritual

that's guaranteed us victory every time.

Ooh, I love rituals.

Whenever the Cowboys
were losing, my dad and I

would turn our jerseys
inside out for good luck.

What's yours?

We don't shower from this moment

until the Stallions are stopped!

Five days of filth startin' now.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, no...

♪ You won't find me in the bleachers ♪

♪ Yeah that girl is one of us ♪

♪ I'm made of spice and sugar ♪

♪ She's pretty...
she's pretty tough ♪

♪ Then add a little glitter ♪

♪ She off in a cloud of dust ♪

♪ And you get... you get... ♪

♪ A game changer, play maker ♪

♪ Take the ball She'll see ya later ♪

♪ I'm on a dreamlike, teamlike ♪

♪ Livin' like one of the boys ♪

♪ She got it goin',
goin', she got it goin' on ♪

♪ Play like Friday night ♪

♪ Kickin' like one of the boys ♪

♪ She got it goin',
goin', she got it goin' on ♪

♪ One of the boys ♪

I can't shower for five days,
but I can take a bath, right?

Nope.

- Jump in a pool?
- Unh-unh.

- Stand in the rain?
- Negative.

Clean myself like a cat?

All: No.

Guys, I am all about sports rituals.

It's just that this week,
it's especially important

that I look... ♪ Ahhhhhhhh ♪

We can find another ritual.

That's the spirit! Let's go find one.

Uh, okay, first, I don't know what...

♪ Ahhhhhhhh ♪ means.

Second... you don't find
rituals, they find you.

Sawyer, testify.

For decades, the Bulldogs
lost to the Stallions.

Then five years ago a terrible
drought struck our town.

To save water, the team
didn't shower that week.

The football spirits looked
kindly on our filthy sacrifice

and, for the first time ever,
the Bulldogs beat the Stallions.

- All: Hoo
- Rah!

- Hoo
- Rah. Great story.

But at this moment, I'm
thinking total coincidence.

All: [Gasping]

Once is a coincidence.

But since the Bulldogs
started five days of filth,

we have won every time.

It's gross, but it works.

I recommend wrapping your bed in plastic

to preserve your linens.

But what about the dance on Friday?

We all have to make sacrifices, Bella.

Think about all the girls

who won't get a chance
to dance with The Troy.

Do you think I don't feel bad about that?

But the team comes first.

Guys, you know what I went
through to get on this team.

Nothing means more to
me than being a Bulldog.

I hear you talkin' the talk,
but can you stink the stink?

How's this for an answer?

Stink the stink! Stink the stink!

All: [Chanting "Stink the stink!"]

♪

It's an...

interesting look.

I look like a cave
woman with helmet hair.

What was I thinking?

The helmet ruined my hair.

Kyle can't see me like this.

He said I was cute.

This is not cute.

Honey, I'm sure that Kyle can see past

a little frizz and a little dirt to your...

inner cute.

Thanks, Mom, you're right.

You always know what to say.

That's my girl.

Okay, the crazy lady's gone.

- We need a plan.
- I've got a plan.

Ditch the stupid "no shower" ritual.

If Kyle sees you five days worse than this,

he won't be able to un-see it.

Sophie's right. You have
to look great all week.

I've planned it out.

Tomorrow, you "accidentally"
bump into Kyle on purpose.

Then you dazzle him on
Witty Banter Wednesday.

These are talking points.

Thursday, you play it
cool. You've done your work.

Friday night you walk into
that gym looking #fabulous

and the next thing you know,
Kyle's asking you to dance.

Bam!

It's a great plan, Pep.

But it's not gonna happen.
I can't go to that dance.

But we've been talking
about this since 6th grade.

It's our first school dance.

We were all gonna go together.

And dance together.

And scope out hotties together.

And go in the photo booth together.

This pose is not gonna work without you.

You could Photoshop me in after.

It won't be the same.

Guys, I know we've been
looking forward to this dance.

But I made a promise to the team

and I have to show them I'm every bit

as much of a Bulldog as they are.

So you're just going to
give up your moment with Kyle

and spend the rest of the week lookin' like

a cave woman that just got
barfed up by a pterodactyl?

Okay,
first... ouch!

And second... who says I can't
have my moment after the dance?

Where are you going with this?

Guys, dream a little with me.

You do whatever it takes to keep Kyle

from seeing me for the next five days.

I miss Friday's dance.

But after the game on Saturday...

And a four hour shower with
some deep conditioning...

- ...the glow of victory on your freshly
- Exfoliated face,

you spot Kyle at the Starcade,
you're surrounded by people...

but when our eyes meet,
everyone else disappears

and, finally, we have our moment.

It's just crazy enough to work.

Oh, yeah.

♪

♪

♪

Pepper: Oh!

Really?

Gentlemen, as I stand here today,

surrounded by my stinky Bulldog brothers,

I can truthfully say,

[Sniffing] Woo!

I smell victory tomorrow.

All: Yeah!

And no one smells worse
than our sister in stink...

Bella Dawson.

What can I say? I'm a team player.

And I hope the football spirits are hungry

'cause I brought noodles!

[Coughing] Bella, we
all know how hard it was

to give up shampoo and conditioner,

rosewater face wash, that tea tree oil

foot rejuvenator that makes my
heels feel as soft as a baby...

Newt, this isn't about you.

Any who, by embracing our tradition,

you've earned the right to
wear the mark of the Bulldog...

Oh, you guys. It's beautiful.

Wear it with pride, as we all do.

I'll wear it with the same pride

that I wear other people's lunches.

♪

- [Gasping]
- Bella!

Check it out. The mark of the Bulldog.

I told you I could pull this off.

Kyle hasn't... -
We've got drama, mama.

- Pepper, go!
- I just heard from Ava

who got a text from Emma
who's in French Club with Maya

who said Charlotte's about
to ask Kyle to the dance!

Charlotte Newman!

No, I'm not letting this happen again.

What are you doing? Who are you texting?

Kyle. I just asked him to the dance.

You just asked Kyle to the dance?

[Text tone bings]

- And he said yes!
- Yay!

We can come back to my
house and get ready together.

You'll shower first.

'Cause it's gonna take a while.

Shower? I did not think this through.

There she is...
Bella the Smella.

Come on, we're gonna sit
out the dance at the Starcade.

- Newt's buyin'.
- Newt: [Laughing]

GramGram's birthday
check was very generous.

I'm talking cheese in the crust.

Yo-lo. Am I right?

Bella the Smella!

What are you gonna do?

Does it look like I know?

Boys: [Chanting "Bella the Smella"]

At the "Enchantment under the Stars" dance.

I predict this party will be kickin'!

Hi-ya! Yah!

But don't take it from me.

Let's ask this impossibly handsome lad.

Are you looking forward to tonight?

Uh, yeah, I think it's gonna be special.

Yeah, I bet every night's
special for you, dreamboat.

Look at all the lovely
ladies circling around you.

Oh, there's one now.

- Charlotte Newman!
- [Cell phone tone bings]

Bella, are you seeing this?

Charlotte looks like a princess.

An evil... an evil princess.

[Sighing] You've gotta get down here.

Don't worry, I have a plan.

Remember how you guys
kept Kyle away from me?

Well, now you have to keep
Kyle away from other girls...

especially Charlotte.

Can I tackle her?

I didn't hear that.

Which means "yes."

I'll be there as soon as I can.

Pepper & Sophie: Hurry!

Give me all the tokens you've got.

Hey, guys, I just bought
us all a bunch of tokens

as a "token" of my appreciation.

Three hours of games on me.

Don't fight over them.

Oh! My bad.

Wait, I think you have my...

"First shower. See you in 20."

You're gonna shower!

Bella, how could you?

I knew it! The girl
can't hold her stink.

I held my stink all week.

Kyle Webber is waiting for me at the dance

and I am not going to show up
with five days' of filth on me.

Well, too bad.

We're not gonna lose tomorrow
because you wanna impress

Kyle "I Can't Stop
Touching My Hair" Webber.

Well, too badder, 'cause this girl's

about to get her loofah on.

Oh, no, she isn't.

What are you
gonna do... tie me up?

You tied me up?

Well, to be fair, it was your idea.

Yeah, next time, don't say
your personal thoughts out loud.

Guess what I'm thinking right now.

How strong are those socks?

Are you all ready to dance?

All: [Cheering]

Ace: Then let's get this party started!

Glitter... Drop
That Thing!

[Dance music with strong baseline]

Well, now it's just a matter of time

before Charlotte asks Kyle to dance.

What's taking Bella so long?

Seriously? You're gonna
keep me tied up all night?

No, just until the dance is over

and we know you're not a shower threat.

And by the way, you're not the only one

that wanted to go to that dance.

I won the golden buckle at the county fair

three years runnin'.

- Yeah, all right, Sheriff Two
- Step.

I'm starving. Let's hit
the vending machines.

Newt, you stand watch.
Bella, you want anything?

- My freedom.
- Corn chips, it is.

So, Newt...

Oh, no, no, no. Don't even try it.

I know you've gotten
me to break in the past,

but not this time.

It's okay. I'm not
gonna ask you to let me go.

Just do me a favor and send
one last text for me to Kyle.

Um, I guess I can do that.

Kyle, I've been waiting for
this moment since 6th grade.

But I'm not gonna be able to make it.

I guess some things
just aren't meant to be.

As much as it hurts, I'm letting you go

so at least one of us
a chance for happiness.

[Sighing] Is that it?

- Just add an emoti.
- Okay, which one?

Sad panda bear.

Oh, I can't send this.

I understand your dream.

If it wasn't for this stinky ritual,

I'd be wooing Sophie with
my selfless skills right now.

Go, have your moment.

- Be a happy panda bear.
- Thanks, Newt.

What are you gonna tell the guys?

Oh, don't worry.

This isn't my first hostage situation.

What happened?

She came out of nowhere.
She overpowered me.

She was a beast.

- She gave you some lovey
- Dovey speech

and you caved, didn't you?

I am not made of stone!

We cannot go down without a fight.

If we can somehow get
all five days of filth

back on Bella before the game,

maybe, just maybe, that will
appease the football spirits

so we can win tomorrow.

My farm's got pig slop,
compost, and cow pie.

If we hit her with that,

it's at least five days' worth of filth.

The math works. Let's do this.

Let's go.

Let...

Honey, what are you doing?

Kyle! Dance! Shower! Now!

Shower? You mean the boys just abandoned

five years of
tradition? - Uh-huh.

Really? The night before the game?

- Uh
- Huh.

- Bella, unh
- Unh. What's goin' on?

I heard that Charlotte
Newman was going to ask Kyle

to the dance, so I asked him first.

Kyle?

You mean... Kyle...

Yes, and I refuse to
lose another chance with him

just for some ridiculous
ritual that doesn't really work.

Bella, when you and your dad

wore your Cowboys jerseys inside
out, it didn't always work,

but it brought you closer together.

Well, this ritual brings
the Bulldogs closer together.

And they're your team now.
It's something to think about.

All right, kids, it's
time to slow it down.

This next song is a special
request from Charlotte Newman.

Sophie: [Gasping]

Charlotte.

She's making her move.

- Yes, it's tackle time.
- No, too many people!

Improvise.

- Hey!
- Uh, what are you guys doing?

- We're dancing!
- Gotta dance!

Why, is it weird?

When you do it like that it is.

Sophie, Charlotte, Pepper: Bella?

What? Did you even... I can't... But...

What she said.

You can't let Kyle see you like this.

Quick, I know how to shower.

You get the stuff from the girls' room,

I'll set off the sprinklers.

Guys, stop. Stop.

I know I made the date with Kyle,

but I made a commitment to the team, first.

I may not believe in their
ritual, but I believe in them.

And if Kyle doesn't understand,

then it wasn't meant to be anyway.

Hey, Bella.

- Oh, hey, Kyle.
- Wow, you look...

I know... horrible.

I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to

get as far away from me as possible.

Yeah, well, actually I do gotta go.

Yeah, I get it.

But only because my ride is here.

Anyway, that stuff you said about
the team was really great.

And I wasn't gonna say you look horrible.

I was gonna say you look...

like you're gonna win tomorrow.

And that makes you the coolest girl here.

♪

'Night, Bella.

♪

We disappeared, didn't we?

Just the way you pictured it...

only filthier.

[Groaning] Speaking of filthy...

Bella Dawson, show yourself!

Yeah, and I'm wearing ear plugs,

so you can't tempt me again.

I know you're here, you
shower-takin'-sell out.

Wow, that shower did not take.

I didn't shower.

I was going to, but I'm a Bulldog.

I don't know if we need to
stink to beat the Stallions,

but I do know we need to stick together.

Right, Troy?

That's right, QB.

The football spirits are proud of you.

Sawyer, the ritual is
safe. Abort the mission.

Why is Sawyer holding
a giant garbage bag?

- Yeah, I'd love to dance.
- Sawyer: Me, too.

- Charlotte: Ow!
- Sawyer: Sorry, Charlotte.

Didn't see you there.

Woo, smells like
tween spirit up in here!

So let's drop some sick beats
for those filthy athletes.

[Dance music with strong baseline]

Can't hear.

I'm just gonna assume this is Salsa.

♪

What a game!

We sure put the stink on those Stallions.

Hey, maybe we should try not showerin'

for the rest of the season.

Others: No!

Where is Bella?

Kyle's over at the juice counter.

I saw her heading for the showers

with a jumbo pack of loofahs.

She could be scrubbing for days.

I've got some fantastic new
talking points for her and...

have you seen my purple note cards?

I wonder if I dropped them outside?

Hey, you.

Your body spray makes you smell so...

rugged?

What?

[Nervous laugh] Uh...

You have very manly hands.

Are those Pepper's talking points?

No. [Laughing]

I bet you'd look cute with a moustache.

No, wait!

Is that a chest hair I see?

Your neck is so muscular.

Hang on, wait.