14x03 - BassWard/Squidiot Box

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

[flute plays]

[waves crashing]

[jaunty island music]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

- Jetsam City, here I come!

This is going to be
the best weekend ever!

[groans] Huh?

- Squidward.

- Bubble Bass.

- Don't tell me you're going

to the Jetsam City
comic convention too.

- Oh, why would I waste my time

on an idiotic comic book
convention?

I am a man of sophistication.

I'm going to the
clarinet convention.

- Oh, please!

Talk about a waste of time.

- [growls] Shows what you know.

The lecture on the history
of spit valves

is worth the price
of admission alone.

- When I said talk
about a waste of time,

I didn't mean literally.

- Hmph!

- All aboard for the train
to Jetsam City!

- Just stay away from me.

- Dit to the O.

[lively music]

[all clamoring]

- [grunts]

[groans]
Huh?

Typical.

Hmm...
- Dibs!

- [grumbles] Oh.

[gasps]

- Keep walking, Bucko!

- Oh, come on!

Oh!

Oh, you!

You're taking up two seats!

- One for each cheek.

- Just move over!

It's the last seat
on the train.

- Oh, fine.

- And don't talk to me.

- Mmm!

[slurping noisily]

- [groans] It's finished!

- Hmph.

Then it appears
I need another snack.

Huh?

[squeals]
The fondue cart!

- [yelps]
- The fondue cart!

- [groans]

- Fondue, sir?

- One bubbling bowl
of melted cheese, please.

- You're in luck, sir.

I just made a fresh,
piping hot batch!

What size would you like?

- Oh, I brought
my own fondue pot.

Fill it to the rim.

- Yes, sir.

- Uh, hey, hey.
Be-be-be careful with that!

- Next stop, Jetsam City!

- [screams] Hot!

- Are you going to eat that?

[slobbers noisily]

- Get off of me!

- [snores]

- [groans]
Hmph!

[groans]
Stay on your side!

[growls]

- Well, aren't you two
the best of friends!

- We are not!

Now, what do you want?

- Would you watch my baby
while I run to the restroom?

I have to powder my nose
like a racehorse!

Thanks!

- [snores]
- [babbles]

- Ah!

- [wailing]

- This is what I get
for traveling coach.

- [snores]

That fondue gave me
the cheese sweats.

Oh! Refreshing.

- You're making the baby cold!

- [babbles]
- What?

Where did you get
such an adorable baby?

Who clearly wants
the window open.

- Oh!
- Huh?

- The baby wants it closed!

- The baby wants it open!

- [babbles]
- Closed!

- Open!
- Closed!

- Open!

both:
Huh? The baby!

- I'm back!

Hey. Where's my baby?

- You really want to know?

- [screams]

- I hope she finds her baby.

- Tickets! Tickets!

Tickets?

[both chuckle]

No tickets, huh?

[both scream]

- I loathe you.

- Don't you worry, baby.

When Mommy finds those two,
she's gonna ground them.

Into dust!

- I'm walking.

- Without snacks?

I'm going to get hungry.

You won't like me
when I'm hungry!

- I don't like you now!

[bleak mellow music]

- [panting]

We're going to die out here!

[sobbing]
[bell ringing]

- Huh? Maybe not. Look!

♪ Old Man Jenkins has a farm ♪

- ♪ And on that farm,
he has a ride? ♪

both:
♪ E-I-E-I-O! ♪

- ♪ With a tractor here! ♪

- ♪ And some horsies there! ♪

- ♪ Here a boat! ♪
- ♪ There a bike! ♪

- ♪ Everywhere
are boots to hike! ♪

- ♪ Old Man Jenkins
has a plane ♪

- ♪ E-I-E-I- ♪

Oh, yeah.

Quit it.

[airplane whirring]

- Thanks for the ride!

- And the egg salad sandwiches.

- You folks are lucky!

I was just heading
into the city

to pick up the new
Farmer's Almanac!

- To celebrate, I think
I will have another one

of those sandwiches.

- Whoa! You just ate!

- I can almost reach.

- Whoa!

- Stop shaking the plane

or I'll pull this thing
right over!

[both screaming]

- Thank you. Much better.

[horn honks]

- Now what do we do?

- You could pull me using
the plane tail as a rickshaw.

- Me pull you?
This is your fault!

You should pull me!

- We'll flip a coin.

- You're on!

- Hmm?

[grunting]

I can't reach.

Could you fish it out?

- [groans] You win.

[horn honks]

- [panting]

[gloomy music]

♪ ♪

Don't scratch the paint.

- [chuckles]

Keep the change.

[jaunty music]

[bell dinging]

- Yes?

- Reservation
for Squidward Tentacles.

- And Bubble Bass.

- Mr. Tentacles and Mr. Bass.

Ooh!

You two have reserved
our finest rooms.

- Can we just get our keys?

- Mm, no.

You were supposed to
check in yesterday.

But you didn't.

So we gave your rooms away.

[both sobbing]

[groans]
Let me see what we can do.

Oh! Here we go.

Though it's not as nice as
your previous accommodations.

- [sniffles]
- It's just for one night.

How bad can it be?

Say, this isn't so bad.

- The shower's all yours.

- [groans] I'm tired.
I'm just going to sleep.

- As you wish.

Ah!
- [grunts]

- Hey, keep to your side.

- [grumbles]

[crunching]
Huh?

Oh, you're getting crumbs
in the bed!

I'm going to sleep
in the bathroom.

Hmph!

- Suit yourself.

- What?

Of course he destroyed
the bathroom.

But hey, this is fancy.

Shag carpeting!

- ♪ That's not carpet ♪

[shrieking]

- Is this your body hair?

What is wrong with you?

The horror.

The horror.

[gloomy music]

[foghorn blares]

- Well, you look chipper.

Did you sleep well?
- Nope!

But soon you'll be
at your lame comic convention,

far away from me!

That is something
to smile about.

- Agreed.

But your Clarinet Con is,
by far, the lamer of the two.

- Yay!

Comic books!

[groans]

- Well, at least
we clarinetists

don't wear stupid capes.

[jaunty clarinet melody]

- [grunts, groans]

- You were saying?

Yoo-hoo-hoo!
- [laughs]

Whoa!

- Whoa!

- Is that...
[airplane whirring]

Old Man Jenkins?

- Gadzooks!

[people screaming]

- No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

- [screaming]

- No, no, no, no, no, no!

- [screaming]

[jaunty music]

♪ ♪

Any landing you can walk
away from is a good landing!

[people scream]

- No!

All those innocent
comic books, lost!

- Ha! In your face!

I still get to go
to my clarinet convention,

and you get nothing!

You lose!

[laughs]

[people screaming]

- Of course.

- Worst. Trip.

- Ever!

Hey, where did everybody go?

[train horn blaring]

both:
The train station!

[indistinct chatter]

- No tickets, no ride.

both:
Huh?

- You boys owe me half a plane!

- Typical.

[groans]
- Slow down!

You're hurting my arms!

- There they are, Junior!
both: Huh?

[both panting]

- After 'em!

both:
I loathe you, chum!

[growl]

[scream]

[jaunty island music]

♪ ♪

- I have put off cleaning
my attic for way too long.

[gasps]
Aww!

Gary's baby shell!

They grow up so fast.

[groaning]

Hey!

My imagination box!

I wonder if it still works.

Oh, boy, it's time for...

imagination!

[giggles]

Whee-hee!

[engine grinding]

That's weird.

- Hey, neighbor.

Can I borrow a cup of sand?

I'm all out.

Huh?

Hey!
Isn't that the...?

- It is!
But it won't start.

- Oh.

Let me see
if I can get it going.

[engine grinding]

[wheezing]

- We need a professional.

Imagination Box Repair.

This is the place!

- Ooh!

Aha!

Ooh.

Welcome!

[fireworks bursting]

Wow, a double corrugated 3600.

I haven't seen one
of these in 25 years.

What seems to be the problem?

- Well, the inspiration motor
won't turn over.

Dern thing's on the fritz.

- Yeah. And it doesn't work.

- Hmm.

Let me take a look
under the flap.

[grunts]

[metallic clanking]

[gurgles]

Well, there's your problem.

Your box has blown
a whimsy gasket.

They don't make those anymore!

But I could give you
a great deal on a cushion fort.

- No, that's okay.

I'm a cardboard man.

- Aw, this dumb ol' box
is just junk now.

- Hey! Get off my sand!

[grumbles] Whoa!

[thumping, yelling]

What's happening?

Where am I?

- Inside my imagination box.

- Where'd he go?

- You must have jostled
something and fixed it.

[gasps]

Patrick!
Squidward must be lost!

- Lost in his own...

both:
Imagination!

- [groans] I can't
see a thing in here!

I need a flashlight!

- Just imagine a flashlight.

- Oh, yeah, right.

I'll just imagine it
and it'll appear!

[grumbles]

What the--

oh, it worked.

Now, where's the way
out of here?

Ooh! I'm leaving!

[grunting]

Huh?

[screaming]

How do I get out
of this crazy place?

- That's easy, Squidward.

Just visualize
where you'd rather be!

- I'd rather be
far away from you!

Like at a fancy beach resort.

[mellow island music]

[gasps]

And relaxing on a lounge chair.

Ooh!

Ahh, sipping a tropical drink.

Ahh.

Maybe this imagination thing
isn't so bad after all.

- What are you doing now?

- Well, if you must know,
I'm relaxing

under an umbrella surrounded
by beautiful tropical plants.

- Sounds like
you're in a jungle.

- No!

It's not a--jungle?

- [shrieks, grumbles]

- Aren't jungles full
of dangerous animals?

- Yep!
Like scary sea snakes!

- Huh?

[suspenseful music]

[all screaming]

- [hissing]

- [panting]

Hey! You gotta help me!

- Oh, and look out
for sea panthers.

- [growls, roars]

- [screaming]

[whimpering]

- [growls]
- [hisses]

- How's it going
in there, Squidward?

- You're making
everything worse!

Would you two clam up?

- Oh, I forgot to mention
the clothes-eating clams.

- [chomps]
- [screams] Giant clam!

[screams]
Let go! Ow! Ouch!

Hey, that's my shirt!

Oh, fantastic!

Now I'm lost in the jungle
with no clothes on.

- That's no problem.

Remember, you can
imagine anything!

- Imagine, huh?

All right.
[grunting]

Oh, not bad.

A jungle safari could be fun.

- Oh!

And whatever you do,
don't imagine...

a stampede of sea elephants!

[dramatic music]

[elephant trumpeting]

- Thanks a lot!

- No problem!

- Now tell me how to escape
from a stampede

of sea elephants!
- Hmm.

If only you had
a hot air balloon.

- [elephants trumpeting]

- Huh?

- [laughs]

- Huh?

- [laughing]
- [screaming]

[screaming continues]

- I've always wanted
to ride in a balloon.

- Me too!

Unless there's a tornado.

- Tornado?

[wind blowing]

- [laughing]
- [screaming]

[screams]

- You know what's better
than a tornado?

A bubble tornado!

- Huh?

Huh?

Ahh.

[yelps]

- You okay, Squidward?

- No!

- He's okay.

- Say, are there dinosaurs
in the jungle?

- Oh, no.

[shrieking, roaring]

[yelling]

I hate imagination!

- [roars]

- [panting]

- I'm so happy
Squidward's having

such an exciting adventure!

- How do I get out
of this jungle?

- Hmm.

Try imagining
your favorite place!

- Favorite place?
Um, I've got it!

A jazz club!

[soft jazz music playing]

♪ ♪

Ooh, finally.

A place with culture.

[sniffs] Ahh.

Even the coffee
smells like jazz.

Oh, yeah.

Digging that groove.

both:
We dig it!

[imitating guitar wailing]

- [grumbling]

[disquieting music]

Ugh!
This coffee tastes like rocks!

[rock chord plays]
[yelps]

- One, two, three, four!

- Punk rock?

- [giggling]

- [screams]
Everything's gone crazy!

- Sounds like your
imagination is overheating.

Try to clear your mind.

- Clear my mind?
Clear my mind!

Phew!

- Where are you now, Squidward?

- I'm in an empty white void.

But at least it's peaceful.

- Uh, that sounds like
the Doodle dimension.

- Watch out for DoodleBob!

- What's he look like?

- Um, he looks
kind of like this.

- [gibbering]

- [screams]

[screaming]

Would somebody please--
[grunts]

Tell me how--
[grunts]

To get out of this--
[grunts]

Stupid box!
[groans]

- You want out?

- Well, why didn't you say so?

Just draw an exit door.

- I don't have a pen!

- You're an octopus.
You're full of ink!

- [groaning]

- [gibbering]

- [panting]

Huh? Huh?

I'm home!

[sobs]

Hmph.

Where did SpongeBob
and Patrick run off to?

Oh, well.

I'm going to the place
where imagination goes to die.

My dreary, pointless
minimum wage job.

[inhales] Ah, the good old
boring Krusty Krab.

I'm actually happy to be back.

May I take your order, sir?

- Should we tell him?

- Nah, he sounds so happy.

- One Krabby combo coming up!

[sighs]

[mellow island music]

♪ ♪