13x15 - Arbor Day Disarray/Ain't That the Tooth

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

[flute plays]

[waves crashing]

[light music]

♪ ♪

- Aha, mm.

- [yelling]

These pancakes
are delicious, Sandy.

But what do you call
this sweet stuff?

- That's maple syrup.

It's kinda like jelly
that comes from trees.

- Tree jelly?

Gross.
I prefer mine on tap.

[grunts]

- Oww!

- Welcome to Bikini Bottom's

very first
Arbor Day celebration!

- Barber Day?

- Well, I could use a trim.

- I think she said Harbor Day,

to celebrate old Navy swabs
like meself!

- It's Ar-bor Day!

It's a day to celebrate
the joy of trees.

- But, Sandy, you've got
the only tree in town.

- Correction,
I used to have the only tree,

'cause today you're all gonna
grow your own tree.

- Ah.
- Ooh.

- Trees don't grow underwater.

- Oh, these little
fellers will.

I've used the power of science

to make special acorns
that will grow

into saltwater trees,

- Oh, aww.
Hello, little tree.

- There you go.
Ooh, look at that.

- Oh.
[laughs]

- Huh? Oh.

- [laughs]

Mmm.

- You don't need to chew it,
you whittle stick!

[clears throat]

To keep your tree healthy,
all you need to do

is give it lots of fertilizer.

- Not a problem.

- One more thing,

to grow a happy,
well-rounded tree,

you need to talk to 'em.

- Hi, I'm SpongeBob.
- Hey, little feller.

- Testing, testing.
- Hello.

- [humming]

I love talking to someone
who knows how to keep a secret.

[laughs]

I can finally tell someone
what really happened

when I pulled that job
in Shell City.

- Mm-hmm.

Don't worry little fella.

You'll have lots
of people talking to you.

- Excuse me.

I would like to speak
to the proprietor.

- The complaint department's
over there.

Talk to the tree.
[laughs]

- Mr. Tree,
the condiment distribution

of my patty is subpar.

- Hm, if talking
to a tree is good for it,

I'll bet a little smooth jazz
must be amazing.

[playing horn]

- [humming]

h*-h*!

I'll talk to you
the way nature intended,

with television!

- We now return to
"My Mother the Barnacle.

- Ha-ha-ha!
I love this one!

- Who's a cutesy wittle tree?

You are!

Would you like to hear
a bedtime story?

[grunts]

Once upon a fertilizer,
there was a mama tree,

a baby tree, and a papa tree
who went out to the forest,

when they suddenly met
little Goldy Lumberjack.

- Ugh, what a dumb story.

Would you put a sock in it?

I'm trying
to get some shut-eye.

- You can talk?

I'm gonna name you Barky.

- Let go already.

You're wrinkling my leaves,
your filter feeding freak.

[phone ringing]

- Hello, Sandy?
- Oh, howdy, SpongeBob.

How's your new tree doing?
Are you talking to it?

- I'm trying, but to be honest,

I really haven't been able
to get a word in edgewise.

My tree's been doing
all the talking.

- Are you feeling okay,
SpongeBob?

- Hang on.
Barky wants to talk to you.

- Why did you leave me with
this giggling hunk o' holes?

He's dimmer than a half-watt
bulb in a power outage.

- Well, smack my tail
and call me twitchy!

I'll be right there!

- Bring me a glass of water!
Change my soil!

Look out for the roots!
- Huh?

- Ugh, your breath smells.

Why are you all face
and no body?

- Hoo, doggy.

This little shrub
is a real chatterbox.

- Get me out of this dump!

A sensitive tree
like me needs sun.

Oh, it's too cold out here.

The sun is too bright.
Somebody get me a sweater.

I want to go back inside.

- Aww, I wanted
to make saltwater trees,

but this one's a bit too salty.

- I wonder how everyone else's
trees are doing.

- Ahh!

I shouldn't have let him drive!

Ahh!

- Eh, at least Mrs. Puff
is having a good time.

- Excuse me,

but this Krabby Patty
tastes awful.

- Well, you look awful,

but you don't
hear me complaining.

- Oh, I am offended!

- And offensive!

[sniffs]
Oh, PU, what stinks?

Is that the customers,
or has the garbage man

started making deliveries?

- Huh?
- [laughs]

- I'm outta here!

This used to be
a respectable place.

- People are complaining

about me complaint department
complaining!

[horn playing]

- Agh, what is
that horrible noise?

You should register that thing
as a lethal weapon.

- What?

- It's okay, buddy.

Talent isn't everything.

- Huh.
- In your case, it's nothing.

[laughter]

- And now back to "The Sir
Urchin & Snail Fail Show!"

- Why you!

- What I do?

- Yeesh, I'm just one day old,

and even I can see
this show is for babies.

- [laughs]

- You don't get it, do you?

- Get what?

Hey!

- [groans]

- Out you go!

Huh.

- [grunts]
I'm free!

[tires squealing]
- Ahh!

[grunts]

This joyride is over!

- Does this mean
I don't get my license?

[trees giggling]

[soft music]

- Hello, police department?

I got a lead
on that Shell City job.

- Hey, Squidward,
your barber called.

He said he's sorry!

- [grunts]
Philistine!

- [groans]

Come on, boys.
Let's have some fun.

[trees laughing]

- [yips]

[sniffs]

Hmm.

♪ ♪

- [humming]

- Glug glug glug--

hey, buddy, wait your turn!

- Ahh!

[children babbling]

- Relax.

This will help you grow
big and strong.

[dramatic music]

- [grunts]

- Hey!

[screaming]

♪ ♪

- Whaa!
- [screaming]

[both screaming]

♪ ♪

- Huh?
- Thank you!

- So long, chump!

- There she is!

This Arbor Day anarchy
is all her fault!

- Those trees
are ruining everything!

[police sirens wailing]
Ah, agh!

I gotta go.

- Hey, they're made of wood.
I say we burn them.

- Yeah!
- Yeah, burn 'em!

- Squidward, that's not
the spirit of Arbor Day.

- Everyone, calm down!

I've got a plan.

[expl*si*n]

- [laughing]

- Hm, ah!

- Ooh.

- Come one,
come all to Log-a-palooza!

It's an Arbor Day extravaganza!

All you can eat fertilizer!

If you're a tree,
you get in free.

[exciting music]

[trees cheering]

[air horn blasting]

- Howdy, folks!

Are your roots too wrinkly?

Are your leaves feeling wilted?

- Hmm, my bark is feeling
a little rough.

- Then try my wonderful
makeover machine,

the Arbor Revitalizer!

Look your best this Arbor Day!
Do I have any volunteers?

- Yeah, I'll give
your dumb machine a try.

♪ ♪

[yelling]

[all exclaiming]

- Run for your leaves!

- Everyone wait!

I love it!

I was destined to rot
in the woods somewhere,

but look at me now!

I'm a chair!

I've never felt so smooth.

- Whoa.
- Phew.

- He does look pretty handsome.

- I want to be a chair too.

- I want to be a credenza!

- I want to be a sawhorse!
- I want to be a table!

- Me!
- Me next, me next!

- Wow!

- Whoo-hoo!

♪ ♪

[cheering]

[upbeat music]

- [laughing]
- [sighs]

- These guys are great!

- Good thinking, Sandy.

Furniturizing really calmed
these trees down.

- Ah!

both: Yeah, chairs rule!

- Well, most of them anyway.

- I think I'll skip Arbor Day
next year.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la la la ♪
Hi, Patrick!

I just had another great--
wait a minute.

Hey, what's wrong?

- I think I'm growing a nose.

I don't want a nose!

- Patrick, wait!

Hey, look, Patrick.
You just lost a tooth.

And if you put that tooth
under your pillow tonight,

the Tooth Fairy with come
and take the tooth

and leave you a quarter.

- A quarter for just one tooth?

♪ ♪

[beeping]

Jackpot!

Good night, teethies.

[giggles]

[snoring]

- [laughs]

Who says a life
of crime doesn't pay?

Huh?

- Sleep punch!

- Whoa! Ow!

[groans]

- Who goes there?

[light music]

♪ ♪

The Tooth Fairy!

I gotta show SpongeBob!

- Hey, come on!

♪ ♪

- [snoring and laughing]

- SpongeBob!

You were right!

The Tooth Fairy came,
and I got him!

- Ahh!

- Ooh!

- I didn't do it!

- [gasps]

Patrick, you-you-you really
did catch the Tooth Fairy!

- I told ya!
[both laughing]

Wow.

- [sobbing]

- He didn't give me a quarter,
but look.

I found these precious jewels
in his bag.

- What are you chowderheads
yapping about?

Tooth Fairy?
- Don't worry.

You don't have
to play dumb with us.

Your secret is safe.

- Please let us ride along
with you tonight.

- And be your Tooth Fairy
assistants.

♪ ♪

- Yeah.

I'm the Tooth Fairy.

And I could use
a little help scoring loot--

I mean, collecting teeth.

both: Yay!
[kissing]

- It's gonna be a long night.

[jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Ooh, hey!

I bet we could find
some teeth here.

Pull over.
- Ahh!

♪ ♪

- Now, this guy drinks
a lot of soda,

so I'm sure he's got
a few loose teeth for us.

- Let's get him.

- Here, use these special
Tooth Fairy masks.

[both squeal]

- Ha-ha-ha!

♪ ♪

- [chuckles]

♪ ♪

[panting]

[groans]

Amateurs.

- Hey, look, it's Bubble--
- Can it!

Now, why don't you mugs shake
down Tiny here for some teeth?

I'm gonna look for teeth
in those valuables over there.

[cackles]

[both cackling]
- Huh?

Only the Tooth Fairy gets
to laugh like that.

- Shh.

[tense music]

I don't feel any teeth,
Patrick.

- Well, I feel a bunch of them.

[laughs]

Ooh.

- This one's really loose.

I'm sure the Tooth Fairy won't
mind if we help it out.

- [laughs]

- Ah!

- Barnacle Boy!

Hmm.

♪ ♪

- Agh!

- Ooh, is this where you keep
the pillow money?

Wow, teeth are sure worth a lot
these days.

♪ ♪

[kisses]

- Come on, let's get
more teeth.

You've got the best job ever.

[tires squealing]

♪ ♪

- Whoa--oof!

both: Ooh.

♪ ♪

- [snoring]

both: Whoa!

Whoa!

Oh, oh!

- Mm.

- Whoa.

[kisses]

♪ ♪

- [snoring]

- [giggling]

- Right, ah, oh.

[screeching]

Ahh!

- [muttering]

- [cackling]

You stooges really gave
the Tooth Fairy

a lot of help tonight.

Even if you also gave me
a headache.

- I like helping!

- Well, I think we got time
for one last job

if you're in.

- Hey!
That's where Mr. Krabs lives.

He's my daytime boss.
You're my nighttime boss.

- [snarls]

[growls]

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

Wait.

Watch out for booby traps.

I helped Mr. Krabs install the
security system myself, so--

- Here's one!
I'll disarm it!

- Patrick, no!
- Oops.

- Hello?
Who's down there?

I'm calling the police.

Yes, police?
Come quick!

I heard a noise.

- Oh, no, we woke him up!
Let's get out of here.

- Ahh!

both: Shh!

- Whaa...

ah, SpongeBob, Patrick.

What in the name of Poseidon's
pantaloons are you doing?

Why have you tripped
me burglar alarm?

And why do you have
those burglar sacks?

And why are you wearing
burglar masks?

And why are you
with that burglar?

Wait a minute.
[gasps]

Are you burglars?

- I'll take a burglar
with cheese.

- We're not burglars.

We were just assisting
the Tooth Fairy here.

- Hello.

- That ain't no Tooth Fairy.
I should know.

I sold all my teeth to the real
Tooth Fairy years ago.

[police sirens wailing]
- Oh, no, the fuzz!

You gotta get me out of here!

- I don't know.

Mr. Krabs says you're not
the real Tooth Fairy.

- Huh?
Of course I am!

You just gotta believe!

That's all, yeah.

- I believe in you,
Tooth Fairy!

[grunts]

- Goodbye, Mr. Krabs!

- [groans]
Those two are so gullible.

Oh, look!
This rope says "pull me."

- Wah!

[sighs]

[police sirens wailing]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Whoa!
- Ahh!

- We can't go any farther!

- The jig is up!
What are we gonna do?

- You're a Tooth Fairy!
You can fly!

Fly to safety!

- What?
both: Fly!

- Ahh!

- Don't forget your teeth!

- Or your boat!

- Ahh!

- You know, Patrick,
I get the feeling

that wasn't
the real Tooth Fairy.

- [laughs]
Of course not!

But I am!

[both gasp]
The real Tooth Fairy?

- You two did a wonderful job
collecting teeth all night.

Therefore, I'm going
to make you

honorary Tooth Fairy
assistants.

Abraca--
- [gasps]

- Dental.
- Ooh.

both: Huh?

[babbling excitedly]

- Ah, come on!

[laughter]

- A tooth!

- And a quarter.

- [groans]

[upbeat music]

[laughter]

- [laughs]
Abraca-dental!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪